Rule 12(b)(6) allows for a motion to dismiss when a plaintiff has failed to state a claim upon which relief can be granted, meaning that even if everything the plaintiff alleged is true, it still wouldn’t add up to a valid cause of action for a lawsuit. IANAL, but I can see how that might be a valid motion in LOLsuit VI—except for one thing: The Cabin Boy™ didn’t properly file his proposed amended complaint, so while it appears on PACER, the court has not accepted it as the operative complaint. Of course, the defendants could file a motion based on the original complaint, but the Cabin Boy™ didn’t bother to serve it on them. That leaves them not knowing which complaint they are officially facing. Their lawyer has filed this motion as a result—
I am sure that Bill was confused by the answers he received from the pro-se internet law firm of Just, Answers, Dot, and Com, Esq. He’ll have a response tout suite after he consults with them again that will clear this whole thing up.
“Dear
MommyJustAnswers.It’s me, again! The 61 year old, recently widowed, Vietnam-era veteran, stage XXXVIII Parkinson’s sufferer who is beset by HARASSMENT and is suing everyone, everywhere for everything, so long as they don’t have a lawyer and are silly enough to believe my incompetent bluster, despite having lost in court to an unrepresented toddler who was a whole time zone away.
It turns out that they do have a lawyer, and he’s making a big deal out my having served the same
lulzsuitLAWSUIT (Damn you, Neal N. Bob! Damn you to Hell for making me call them that!) on his clients.Is this further harassment? Can I stalk HIM now, too? I already know where he lives and what his wife looks like!
I will rate your service so you can get paid as soon as you tell me what I want to hear.”
Dear Lost in Mayo on Scooty Puff,
Stop being a DUMBFUCK.
We’re glad we can help you. Please deposit money and rate our assistance as very helpful because it’s our best advice to you.
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
Once upon a time, I saw a pro se try to evade getting pwned (under Rule 12(b)6) by repeatedly amending the complaint in a futile attempt to avoid 12(b)6-pwnage by making his lolsuit a “moving target,” so to speak.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Schmalfeldt’s furtive amendment, a few days after Randazza caused Billy to make bigs in his panties, might not have had a similar obfuscatory motive.
HYPERTECHNICAL!!!
What? The world’s self-proclaimed smartest pro se screwed up?
In a strange way, there’s actually a public service in this mess. While the law is usually a staid, dreary and a terribly boring thing, Schmalfeldt’s abject idiocy makes it FUN!
Even I can’t believe that he served the wrong complaint. I suppose it serves me right for always saying “He can’t get dumber than this.”
Oliver Wendell Jones always does. He’s like a bottomless pit of wildly entertaining ignorance.
World’s Stupidest Man™
A contender for the title, to be sure.
Train station, wondering if there is anything sadder than laughing at the schmuck.
Being the schmuck?
^^^^^THIS.
“He can’t get dumber than this.” I suppose we could consider some sort of research to see if we could plumb the depths and find the Bottom of his Stupidity, but I’m afraid we’ve finally found the “Bottomless Pit of Stupidity”.
” ‘He can’t get dumber than this.’ ”
That belongs on a coffee cup, I think.
‘He can’t get dumberer than this.’
?
Bottomless Pit of Stupidity is right next to the Cliffs of Insanity….
That’th Cliffth of Inthanity!!!, thank you very muthsh.
Which I gueth would altho make it the Bottomleth Pit of Thtupidity, then, wouldn’t it?
It’th thertainly contheivable, anyway.
https://thinkingmanszombie.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/img_6644.png
YOU WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT, WOULDN’T YOU?!?!?
Grand Nagus approves..
http://i.imgur.com/OMQiRFA.png
The service was described as “facially defective”… is that distinct from “farcically defective”?
It’s written that way because “five-eighths retarded” lacks the proper judicial decorum.
😂 Exactly!
I thought that meant they included that pic of Biwwy with his lobotomy [or whatever] scars. That should make it facially defective.
$400-plus, down the tubes.
Yup. The process servers cost him another $125 each, for $250, and postage/copying of another $100 for all those complaints/waivers/summons flying around the country. So at least $750 for a lesson in how NOT to pro se a lawsuit. Now that Bill can’t simply fold and walk away, I give it until Tax Day when this case will be closed.
Still cheaper than law school!
Not necessarily.
Plus all the fees to justanswers.com!
And Cousin Bill is still getting “schooled”!
And it’s unlikely that he’ll get any lulzsuit welfare in the foreseeable future.
‘Tis a pity that this is all coming to an end, isn’t it?
What makes you think it will end? This lulzsuit perhaps, but he has shown an incredibly dogged persistence in stepping on his own d*ck, so why won’t he file more?
I have no specific knowledge of what’s coming, but I know what I would do. My answer is based on that alone.
I would be personally shocked if the current defendants don’t seek significant sanctions against a DUMBFUCK and introduce Lulzsuits i-V as supporting exhibits. Once you collect the set, you find that the Diminished Capacity Kid has repeatedly sued mostly the same people over essentially the same fact set. And every time that his actions weren’t dismissed for dumbassery, he ran away. If there’s a clearer way to demonstrate vexation, i’m not aware of it. Oh, and there are literally HUNDREDS of tweets out there that reinforce that theory, some as recent as Monday.
Given that, coupled with the fact that he won’t be receiving lulzsuit welfare again (based on his awesomely idiotic spending and actually giving sizable assets away,) he won’t be able to afford it.
It may well be the case that, this time, Everybody’s Favorite impotent Imp has finally managed to blow his load.
Your Cousin Dimmy
What’s amusing is that Bill keeps insisting that the defendants have to pay for service. But then he served them an incorrect complaint and the summons was invalid. That’s weapons grade stupid right there. I’d love to hear Bill explain how the court is going to force defendants to pay for non service caused by Bill’s screw ups.
“PARKINSON’S! WALKER! WIDOWER! KRENDLER! DIMINISHED CAPACITY! PALMER! EXECUTIVE FUNCTION! JOHNSON! IMPULSE CONTROL! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!”
There. I saved him the trouble of writing the motion himself.
The three “I’s” … Incompetent, incoherent and incontinent.
a) That’s my schtick
2) I was going to say:
https://youtu.be/yUfec8S10MI
And I see he has shit canned his latest Twitter handle. I have lost count on how many accounts he has memory holed. What a pathetic loser
Around 115 or so. Either runs away in fear like a coward to gets suspended for harassment. Once he got suspended for death threats. But he’s a proggy so they keep letting him make a new account.
Over 160. I think it’s around 170 right now.
I just came back from the vault, and it’s 160 known accounts, over 170 if you count the ones he’s used more than once.
One for each of the voices in his little pin head!
Nothing says “not a crazy online stalker” like having used and trashed 170 twitter accounts!
There you go again, Aaron, telling the judge how to do his job.
I can’t wait for the Yokohama Casanova to compliment her “tinge.”
Rumor was she was a prosecutor in the Child exploitation unit of the Milwaukee District Attorneys office
She finished as a Federal Public Defender
As they say down on the bayou…
EAUX NEAUX!
Laissez les bons temps rouler!
I seem to recall a certain tweet by a certain DF that the Honorable Judge may find interesting..
Did it happen to mention 1865?
Hmmm… you mean _this_ tweet by pro se plaintiff Bill Schmalfeldt (2:15-cv-01516)? Or did you have another of his racist and/or misogynistic and/or stalking and/or pedophilic and/or threatening tweets in mind?
http://imgur.com/9uN4NiE
You LEFT OUT THE CONTEXT!!
It’s the context that’s going to get William’s formidable fat out of the fire in this case.
As he said in his own lulzsuit, his depictions of child rape aren’t supposed to be arousing, they’re supposed to be funny! Do you think that he’ll have a problem finding twelve ordinary citizens of Milwaukee who won’t find kidfucking hilarious?
Oh. Since I put it that way …
If only there was a company who made it easy to search for things on the web…
Hmmm.
http://www.justanswer.com/law/44928-required-serve-original-complaint-defendants.html
It’s almost like there might be value to this whole “law school” thing?
How do I just know that this was asked this morning?
http://i.imgur.com/uoajpwU.jpg
Nope, five years ago, and in regards to California law.
Actually, it was 5 years ago. But, you know, there’ll probably be an “it seems like I’ve answered this question before” response going up any minute now.
https://thinkingmanszombie.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/capture6.jpg
I have started to wonder, could the court force BS to consult an attorney in order for this mess to proceed? I am aware that they can force a pro se defendant to at least have a shadow council in a criminal case (though, obviously a different situation).
IANAL, but I don’t think so. I do know they can find him to vexatious and not allow him to file new suits without the court’s permission.
Not sure about ordering him to consult a lawyer, but google tells me that Billy could find himself subject to a Federal Court Order looking something like this one:
http://internetisforever.blogspot.com/2010/11/federal-court-imposes-second.html
I foresee a current and possible future issue here.
Given that Deb Frisch is, to the best of my knowledge, without an address at present, and given also that Bill Schmalfeldt may find himself in a similar situation by the end of August, how would any new such order be delivered to either of these psychostalkers?
Mail to:
B. Schmalfeldt
Cardboard box behind the 1st pillar on the north
Daniel Hoan Memorial Bridge
Milwaukee, WI
Maybe they can be roomies at the local flophouse. I don’t think SSN can be garnished but Disability and Pension payments sure can and that won’t leave much for lodging.
I wonder how this blast from the past might fare as evidence that Billy knows his lolsuit is without merit?
http://www.justanswer.com/law/8x1mn-issue-libel-maryland-liabilities.html
The lawyer actually seems to understand Billy’s character all too well: “Please note: If I tell you simply what you wish to hear, this would be unfair to you. I want to be honest with you and sometimes this means providing information that is not optimal. Negative ratings are reserved for experts who are rude or for erroneous information. Please rate me on the quality of my information; do not punish me for my honesty.”
I’m sure anyone that works for a site like that gets the lay of the land pretty quick. I have to imagine that there are a lot of people that word their questions just-so in order to get the right “GOTCHA!” answer they are looking for.
Just google “deranged cyberstalker” and you’ll see he knew exactly who he was talking to.
Talk about owning the title! Bill Schmalfeldt IS the “deranged cyberstalker”.
Impressive. Blob has done well in his ongoing attempt to trash his reputation.
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=%E2%80%9Cderanged+cyberstalker%E2%80%9D
Oh sh*t! Pictures and everything!
And who is responsible for result #1?
One guess.
I confess I am disappointed to be at the bottom of page 2. 😢
OW. OW. OW.
MEDIC!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ihD8t3_qxmQ/UQ_lFBy9n0I/AAAAAAAApr4/GJtEcbgmTdU/s1600/Point_Laugh.jpeg
All I can say is I am glad that Aaron didn’t make the Palmer-Johnson,err, Johnson-Palmer, err, joke in the motion.
Now do you all see why I’ve kept Shakes The Clown around for five years?