No Default in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler

Aaron Walker, the lawyer representing Sarah Palmer and Eric Johnson in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, has filed a timely motion to dismiss in the case, so neither defendant will default.

I’ll post the memorandum of law in support of the motion and a couple of other motions later this evening. If the Cabin Boy™ wants to see what he’s up against sooner than that, he can download the filings from PACER for ten cents a page.

UPDATE—It seems that the Cabin Boy™ no longer views his reach via Twitter or any of his blogs as sufficient to get his message out, and he is resorting mooching bandwidth by commenting here at Hogewash!. His comments will be moderated and let through at my convenience.

UPDATE 2—Oh, one more thing … The Cabin Boy™ won’t be able to delete any comment he makes here, and even if the site were to go down, his comments are backed up offline as they are received.

226 thoughts on “No Default in LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler

  1. In what better be 8 minutes, AVVO experts will after receiving questions of law and leaving out important and pertinent information make Bill feel all better again.

  2. Well, I spent the money on PACER to read some of it, and the beatdown is glorious. Nothing like a real lawyer pointing out the basic flaws made by a pro se plaintiff trying to be all lawyer like. If Bill had butthurt before, he really has it now.

  3. I am the hammer.
    I am the point of his spear.
    I am the mail at his fist.
    I am the bane of his foes,
    and the woes of the treacherous.
    I am THE END.

  4. Them look like lawyer words in that there motion, and not incoherent word salad written on white paper.

  5. What I am waiting for is the part about inadequacy of service. I suspect I already know the basis for the arguments on the lack of subject matter and personal jurisdiction. But to read how, after all his pontificating about service of process, he screwed that up will be hilarious.

      • He evidently got the service he paid for, which makes me curious, as I explored the costs and found that good process servers, who fill out the forms properly, and verify that the correct, readable papers are being delivered, don’t come cheap. But you can get a street person to “serve papers” quite economically.

        Train and phone, not to be confused with Obama’s phone and pen.

          • You mean he sent the ….
            My lord if he did what I thinking he did then, Gosh Darn!

          • This, Is. incredible.

            Let me see if I have this straight because it’s almost too perfect to be true.

            The Yokohama Casanova served a complaint that hadn’t been accepted by the Court, pretty clearly demonstrating that he’s an idiot.

            He further seems to believe that, on the basis of being an idiot, he can serve the defendants again and again until he finally gets it right.

            And on top of that, he’s hallucinating that somebody else has to pay for his repeated and virtually irredeemable fuck-ups.

            On reflection, that sounds EXACTLY like what I’ve come to expect from the Diminished Capacity Kid. Nevermind.

        • And the nice thing is, the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure say Sarah and Eric have to pay for the process servers.

          • FRCP 4 (d) (2) Failure to Waive. If a defendant located within the United States fails, without good cause, to sign and return a waiver requested by a plaintiff located within the United States, the court must impose on the defendant:

            I will be very surprised if that “without good cause” does not apply in this case, you will not recover costs.

          • I would be surprised if you don’t need your mommy to explain the stories on the back of your cereal box.

          • “And the nice thing is, the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure say Sarah and Eric have to pay for the process servers.”

            And if that were true, then what, oh Brilliant One, is keeping a horde of licksplittles from filing literally hundreds of cases to force you to pay for the process servers until you end up Scooter-less in Wisconsin?

            Now see, Billy, here’s the thing. You. Are. A. F*CKING. DUMBASS. End of story. You think you’re smart, but you’ve just talked yourself into another corner you’re too fat to squeeze into. Either you have to admit that you have no damn clue what the FRCP says and are talking out your ass like we all know you are doing, or you have to admit that you are so stupid you just told your “sworn enemies” how to f*ck you over for the rest of your life.

            Because you’re so brilliant and wise.

            Do the world a favor and FOAD.

          • The Mayo’d One isn’t hiding…he is trying to get attention again!

          • Hah! MAYO! That has been SO FUNNY for the last two years, you retard!

          • I suspect that if you serve someone the wrong (or invalid) papers, they’re not “defendants” and don’t have to pay a cent.

          • They were valid papers. That makes them defendants.

          • Keep up that stupid arrogance Billy! The longer you do, the more expensive this is gonna be for you.

  6. He’d have to find grounds, besides butthurt and chagrin, first.

    On my way home. Nowhere near the Foundation computers. I hope that adds to a certain reader’s butthurt, like Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with a bag of fertilizer.

  7. But I was assured that there would be a default and that homes and wives would be seized forthwith!

    That’s what I get for listening to a DUMBF*CK.

      • When was the last time you had a 36″ waist, Blob? 1960? Hell, when was the last time you had a neck?

        Now call me delusional. That should be fun too.

      • Let us know if you get your money back from the process servers where they served improper documents. I mean, they were glad to take your money. Oh, you think Eric and Sarah are going to pay? To quote you..


        And yes, that was out of context. Sue me.

          • You have enough on your plate at the moment. Let’s see first if you can get to discovery first. You need to be a winner first. I only like to compete against winners.

          • I don’t think this will get to discovery. I think Aaron will bail out long before then.

          • More evidence for the bin. MJ gave an opinion (not defamation) about whether you could get reimbursed for your first service of process. You say you’ll happily sue him for no tort and basically proving you’re a vexatious litigant. Or would you care to elaborate on what specific tort MJ violated in his above comment?

          • Wait, I thought you said you dropped the dim dim girls because it was easier to sue two than 5, now you want to up the number of defendants again?

            I guess it really was the Randazza inspired puddle of fear pee that caused you to drop them.

          • Oh and unless you are paying him, why should MJ do your work for you? Are you too lazy and entitled to do your own work that you expect others to do it for free. Typical liberal.

          • Well, to be fair, he is the super investigative reporter who has more faildoxxes than anyone in the world. He also has yet to get past an MTD. He REALLY believes that he has the credentials to beat a Yale educated lawyer, the same lawyer that has yet to lose to his pedo boss. And when it comes to running away from the big dogs, count on Bill to rev the scooty puff and get out of dodge!

            So really, when you look at fail, Bill wins that category every time. Now, he’ll of course, make personal attacks and extreme hyperbole. He will throw his “fake PD disabled widower” around like a surrender flag.. uh.. yeah.., but the fact remains, when it comes to actually not getting the job done on crossing the I’s and T’s, and being in the 1% of under performers and no achievements, Bill is your Champion!

          • I wouldn’t need to, as I don’t make a habit of harassing people on behalf of a terrorist pedophile.

          • I thought the entire point of “going dark” was to, you know, stop making public statements?

            Instead it chooses to move to a different forum which is controlled by someone it doesn’t like.

            Dumbfuck is fucking dumb.



    • Yep, Aaron. Against a mentally incompetent criminal stalker and inyternationally known pervert.

      Aaron knows to wash his hands, fortunately.

      • You see, John. Now that’s defamation. Please rein in your mouth breathers. Thanks.

        • “mentally incompetent ” -By your own words you have said you have some form of dementia.
          “criminal stalker” -A 3 year old kicked your ass in court and this became a legal description for you for the rest of your life.

          “inyternationally(sic) known pervert” With the Streisand effect from Brett’s lawfare and the world wide reach of the interwebs it actually fits:
          1. You -Scout porn creator;
          2. Brett kimberland – adjudicated pedophile;
          3. Craig Gillette – convicted for child pornography;
          4. Matt Osborne -claiming Gillette’s child porn “wasn’t that bad” ;
          5. Wm Ferguson – claimed willing to have sex with a 14 year old girl .

          You should pray the judge you get doesn’t have kids.

          • Reminds me. I hope Aaron has a subpoena prepared for Microsoft to give us the results of their investigation into Billy’s “serious crimes/malware/child porn” usage of his Outlook email account.
            I’m sure he does!

          • Have I ever mentioned that Klonopin and Ambien increase the risk of dementia in seniors, and that Commodore Confirmation Bias says that he’s on both? While already suffering from Parkinson’s-related dementia?

    • yeah, the Ivy League lawyer who destroyed pro-se Kimberlin who has filed hundreds of lawsuits and I’ll say smarter than you to your six cut and run dismissals.

    • You have to give Bill Schmalfeldt credit for prying his finger away from the F5 key long enough to repeatedly strike the “H” and “A” keys!

  9. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bring down the mood of celebration in the room here, and God knows you people have been through so much and…. mmmmmmmmmmmph!

    I CAN’T HELP IT!!!


    • This taunting of yours will make victory all the sweeter when your ample derrière is served to you on a platter, Cousin…

      So gloat all you want, alleged rapist.

    • You’re the one with all the butthurt that you’re trying hilariously to salve for the SIXTH time, DUMBF*CK.

    • He is a better person than you will ever be.

      Put simply (because that is all you would understand anyway), you are a failure in life and deserve all the punishments you bring on to yourself.

        • Then why did you decide to finish it in this way. Your participation within this entire construction that you undertook showed a pathetic little man desperate for attention, who decided to run with the wrong group and was to proud to admit that his choice was wrong.

          You stuck with BK, even after finding out about his proclivities and you attacked many innocent people and then sued them when they decided to not take your pathetic crap anymore.

          Your full and satisfying life is going to culminate in futile rages against people who are not only way smarter than you, but are better members of society and people that others would like to call friend. You are none of these things and should understand that getting angry about being called out for your disgusting posts is a response to your initial actions.

          I kind of pity you, but then again your antics have removed the desire to feel sorry for you. You are not a good person, your acts and actions, statements and activities in recent history are decidedly shameful.

          • Your insights into Bill Schmalfeldt and his behavior are spot on. You also expressed them in a remarkably clear yet brief way. Kudos to you, sir.

          • That it considers it’s life full and satisfying explains a whole lot about it and how it views the world.

        • If you consider “gorging and drinking oneself into a fat, shaky slob unable to walk” is “a full and satisfying life” then by all means, continue!

    • Say, DUMBFUCK…how’s that default coming along?

      It’s fun that you’ve simply forgotten that bit in favor of moving on to another outlandish fantasy that will also blow up in your face.

      Your STUPID is one of America’s great spectator sports, and the best part is you have no off-season.

        • Ya know, if I can put my two cents in…

          As I see it, Hoge is basically a very nice guy. He has shown Bill mercy on a few occasions. With the copyright case, Krendler described it as “I lowered my sword once, because Hoge requested it” or something very similar. Hoge’s patience is exhausted, but Hoge remains a nice guy.

          Other people are, perhaps, not so nice. Not so willing to forgive water (or other substances) under the bridge. Now, perhaps, Bill is suing two (or more, depends on what complaint is active) people who are, perhaps, not so nice. Not so forgiving. And not _nearly_ so merciful. People who know Bill for what he is, and will no longer give him the benefit of the doubt, who are now represented by a lawyer who _truly_ understands all of the above, and fully groks the intent of his clients, and perhaps, might be looking forward to this one on personal grounds as well.

          Does Amazon sell popcorn by the pallet?

        • And yet YOURE the adjudicated stalker with 9 restraining orders against him in 6 states. Hmmm….

    • We know you can’t help it.

      That’s why Walker is going to tromp you in that courtroom as if he were Tyson in his prime against the disposable tomato cans Don King signed up. And, no, you’re not Buster Douglas.

      You may jeer at Walker’s brains, but you should worry about his extensive experience and simple competence.

      Get a real lawyer Bill. It won’t stop you from being buggered, but at least you’ll be lubricated.

  10. Law school is not a cake walk. It’s not easy. Tons of reading, analysis and memorization.
    Aaron Walker made it through one of the top three law schools in the country, Yale, suffering from severe learning disabilities, including dyslexia. That would be like competing at the elite level in a running sport, with a cast on your leg. He deserves respect for that accomplishment. When people without those disabilities, who did not bother to further their education even though they had scholarship opportunities such as the GI Bill, make fun of him, they’re projecting. They wasted their abilities and talents. Aaron did not.

    • Except for Aaron who had “special accommodations” when he took his bar exam. THANKS, DADDY!

      • You think maybe you could be a lawyer if you wave around “I’m a disabled widower!” and pass the bar exam?

        Let us know how that works.

      • Not surprisingly, there’s your daddy issues popping up again. We should start a scorecard for the number of times you refernece “daddy” in one way or another.
        You may want to seek therapy for any unresolved issues.

        • In his defense the anal/fecal references do seem to have been somewhat reduced. Credit where it is due.

        • I think perhaps repentance and seeking redemption would be the best path for Bill to follow. A complete, truthful and exacting confession has many benefits: absolution and the mercy of God, a clean and clear conscience and a changed attitude.
          I am a sinner and I alone am responsible for my sin and the consequences of that sin. This applies to all of us.
          O Lord, open to me the gates of repentance …

        • His comments contribute nothing to discussion. Ever. Anywhere. And though they do add to the LULZ, I prefer secondhand comments to firsthand.

        • It *is* rather hilarious that a guy who claims his handwriting is so bad a MATCHING signature is evidence of forgery disparages the intelligence of another because he has bad handwriting. Because, you know, the most important thing I look for in a lawyer is the quality of his handwriting.

          So now, on top of Bill Schmalfeldt’s documented sexism, misogyny, and racism, we can add ableist bigot to the list.

          • Yes, he is just such a shining example for all of us. /sarc

            He can have weight issues and it’s simply because of how his Parkinson’s makes it hard to exercise and how dare anyone suggest anything else. But if anyone else has a single spare ounce on their frame, no matter their other physical issues, it just proves what little will power they have and that they are evil.

            Gee, do I sound a little cranky today? 🙂 It was raining all night, and my arthritis is kicking up something wicked, one hip, both knees, both shoulders, both wrists, one thumb, the other hand, and my ribs. Advil helps. A bit. (My own fault; I forgot to bring my topical with me today into work.) I would wish that Bill had to deal with my daily pain level but then the entire internet would have to read his “woe is me, no one has ever been in this much pain” tweets to go with the “no one has ever grieved the loss of a spouse this much” nonsense.

  11. The problem with Smallballs is the he’s too stupid to get how truly boned he really is right now. You could educate him until the cows come home, and he’s only going to sit there and laugh like the idiot he is. The only way he’ll learn his lesson is…well, never. He’s going to be rolling through the pits of hell shouting up at God saying, “YOU AM NOT LAW!”

      • Here, The Truth… in case you missed seeing his response to you down below. The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt cannot even manage to leave his ridiculous comments in the right place. *smh*

        “I’d rather not have toady boys, Truthy. I prefer folks who form their own opinions rather than follow a cult-like figurehead.”

        Brett “The Speedway Bomber” Kimberlin’s Rectal Mouthpiece says what?

    • If the party line is to “Point and laugh at DUMBFUCK and here’s why”.. well.. there you go.

    • Come on Bill it’s rebranding time don’t be so jealous of John … maybe this time you can build some traffic/support/followers. Your 200th attempt is surely the charm.


        • Let’s see…BOTH of those women have lawyers who have, or are, kicking your fat ass. So who’s “running and hiding” Billykins?

          • How the heck does hiring a lawyer equate with “ran and hid”?

            I suppose in Unca Biwwy’s Pretendy Land Court of Law people can’t hire lawyers, they have to face him directly.

            Of course if Ash, Dianna and I all showed up at a real court (with our lawyers) to deal with him, he’d turn into a pile of blustering blubber. And he knows that which is why he has to posture to hide that fact from himself.

          • A toddler beat The Diminished Capacity Kid without a lawyer, but why unnecessarily waste the time if you don’t have to?

            Of course, the Yokohama Casanova now gets to respond to an untold numbers of motions with only and his wallet to help him. And because he’s blindingly stupid, his filings are mostly unfixable.

            This should be FUN!

    • I’m not spouting it Bill, I’m your biggest defender here. As I said before, Kudos on reducing the anal/fecal references.
      You finally have those evil defamers right where you want them.
      Now is NOT the time back off, double down! In your response to the motion to dismiss you can tell the judge all about the conspiracy against you and how the space aliens keep making your pants tighter and tighter year after year. So nice to see everything is going so swimmingly for you. Everything is going exactly as you have foreseen. Tick Tock. You are going to own everything they have.
      You. Are. Going. To. Be. Rich!

      And thank you for your contributions to humanity, science and observational evidence on psychopathy. Such a mensch.

  12. I must lodge a protest. If there’s a “party line,” I didn’t get the memo. The Most Perfect and Excellent WJJ Hoge had me weeding emerging dandelions with a pair of tweezers, so I was busy all day. Please be sure to get any and all memos to me during my daily ten minute break.

    Thank you for your consideration.

  13. Arron Walker against a guy who has dismissed HOW many people from HOW many suits “With Prejudice” and/or folded completely?
    I’m going with the licensed Attorney here and betting this thing doesn’t last 6 weeks.
    Has anyone looked at corn futures?
    Asking for a friend.

    • Corn futures? Green, taller than you, tassled, then dried out and yellow, followed by snapped off at the base by a combine.

      • I was thinking of it being processed a bit further and sent out packaged for easy sale through Amazon.

  14. It’s very kind of you Mr Hoge to allow Bill to utilize your very popular website. His average of 9 twitter followers and zero commenters on his blogs don’t allow for a very wide reach.

    Bill, can you explain in detail how you are going to recoup your service fees? We’ve all been laughing about this for several weeks behind the scenes. Since the cat is out of the bag, I’d love to hear your strategy.

  15. Cabin Boy™, aka The Elkridge Horror™, aka Nunnery Boy™, aka William M. Schmalfeldt knows just what lies in store for him:

    Murum Aries Attigit

    Nothing more, nothing less.

    I look forward to seeing riding the infamous red scooter while restores all that nice Mac computer equipment for use in future lawsuits to recover damages from Mr. Schmalfeldt! Let’s see……how was it said??? Something like “I will see him pay, and pay, and pay….”

    Murum Aries Attigit

    Nothing more, nothing less.

  16. What kind of idiot spends his day deleting his online presence, then comes to comment at a site owned by the guy he’s sworn to hound to the ends of the earth?

  17. As a pro see litigant, the Fail Whale is showing why he is dangerous.

    [Scottish Accent] My F5 key can’t take much more of this captain.[/Scottish Accent]

    As train wrecks go, this is better than if Kanye were The Bachelor.

  18. I assume there is some benefit to the case against the Kimberlins by having Walker represent the defendants in this case?

    I can’t imagine Walker ever getting paid anything since Parvocampus has few if any assets.

    Can you explain without tipping your hand?

    When your opponent is busy shooting himself in the foot, reloading for him may be a good plan….

    If Parvocampus were a lot smarter he would make an ideal villain for some plot. Of course, if he were a lot smarter he wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.

  19. Just an idea, but when Sarah, Eric, and Aaron are awarded the Scooty Puff (It’s red vroom VROOM) from the sheriff’s sale, I vote we video Mr. Hoge riding up and down the sidewalk in front of Stately Hoge Manor.

  20. Bar exams are not law SCHOOL.

    Many, many people have “special accommodations,” which usually translates into being allowed to type the exam essays rather than write them longhand, and in the case of folks who may have certain types of physical issues or learning disabilities, allowing them to take the test in a private room with a monitor, meaning a live human who sits there to make sure no cheating occurs. Basically, it’s like allowing someone with a neurological disorder to use a rolly walker – they still have to walk on their own, but the typewriter is the equivalent of the walker.

      • Aaron got to use a keyboard? The man must well and truly be a moron. None of us would ever stoop so low as to use one of those!

      • Hey Hippo-crite, since using a keyboard is so horribly unfair and the mark of a moron, how about you submit the rest of your court filings hand written? Show us how much better you are!

    • Another example: blind people take and pass bar exams. They get special accommodations, too: additional time and testing materials in braille.

      Anyone here of David Boies?
      “David Boies, perhaps the nation’s most highly acclaimed and sought-after attorney, is known for his brilliance, creativity and passion for justice. Boies has represented clients in many of the nation’s landmark high-profile cases, including Bush v. Gore, where he represented Vice President Al Gore in litigation surrounding the controversial 2000 presidential election; the U.S. Department of Justice in its successful antitrust suit against Microsoft; and together with Ted Olson, represented gay and lesbian couples to overturn Proposition 8, California’s ban on gay marriage.”

      Yeah. He has dyslexia. “Boies feels that dyslexia would be much less of a problem if students were given accommodations, particularly in the form of extra time and quiet surroundings, when taking tests and examinations. “I think we’re moving in that direction, but we’re moving painfully slowly, which is wasteful for them and for our society,”€ he says.”

      Envy is so petty, don’t you think?

      • I wish you hadn’t used -that- example, though. The case that overturned Prop 8 was a farce, as the judge had a distinct conflict of interest that should’ve precluded him from presiding over it.

        • I agree with you, but the point is that he is one of the most sought after attorneys in the country, has been for over 20 years, and he has dyslexia. The case was a farce, but I primarily blame the judges.

        • Oh, and I used it because Bill only cares what democrats have to say. Boies is clearly not a republican or a conservative.

    • ‘Special accommodations ‘ like being such a DUMBFUCK, even the government wants to be rid of you?

      Amazing how many people whose real names and addresses he knows who know Krendler’s IRL info haven’t been named. Maybe in LOLsuit VII. (I’m sure he will have a better chance at filing in forma pauperis, following the conclusion of the current action. )

  21. I’m sorry, I have to go hide under my bed now because of all the scary LAW that the SMARTEST LAWYER in the WORLD is gonna bring down on my head.

    • Actually, in your case, he is the smartest lawyer in the world. You are the dumbest dumbfuck pro-se litigant in the world.

      You have a lot of responses to write and feldtcharts to make. Get to it, fatboy. Get the new coffee pot going. Make sure you pick up a few extra bottles of booze *wink, wink, nudge, nudge

      • MJ, you must remember Mr. I-Only-Drink-Creame- Soda had that bottle ‘for when my sister visited… and only one drink’ came out of it.
        Which was half the bottle.
        A few extra bottles?
        Many stores offer case discounts and delivery, since the scootie puff (it’s red. vroom VROOM!) may not handle the extra load.

    • Not on your head, but out from under your feet.

      Your head is nigh impenetrable, but if there’s one thing supremely sensitive to hurt, it’s your butt.

  22. I’ve reconsidered this whole “special accommodation” thing. Really. Let’s get rid of all handicapped parking and seating. It’s cheating if someone claims they have to use it, right?

  23. Walker, Randazza, White, Coleman, Godfrey, Ostronick, Barnes, all attorneys with maybe 3 to 5,000 clients represented and won vs Team pedo

    bring…. the …..rain…..

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