Bonus Legal LULZ Du Jour

Over at his blog (No, I won’t link to it.), the Cabin Boy™ has more or less admitted that he will have to prove that he isn’t a child pornographer in order to win the defamation claim in his LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler.

Words have meaning.

por·nog·ra·pher \pȯr-ˈnä-grə-fər\ n. : one who produces pornography.

por·nog·ra·phy \-fē\ n. : 1. material that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement. 2. the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction <the pornography of violence>.

child \ˈchī(-ə)ld\ adj. : 1. of or pertaining to a young human being who had not attained the age of puberty. 2. of or pertaining to a young human being who has not attained the age of majority.

So Bill Schmalfeldt says he’s prepared to prove that he never published, for example, anything that depicted sensational acts involving one or more underage kids that prompted intense emotional reactions. Uh, huh.

20 thoughts on “Bonus Legal LULZ Du Jour

  1. Hmmm…

    “It really doesn’t matter who turned Schmalfeldt in to the Safety people at Microsoft. Once they had a reason to look for suspicious material, they could have reviewed the contents of the emails the Cabin Boy™ had been sending and receiving via their servers. All those emails. Oh, and now that he’s made them an issue, any defendant he sues will undoubtedly subpoena that entire account from Microsoft. The backups exist.”

    All that incriminating shiite, just waiting to be subpoenaed and dumped into the public record.

    tick, tock?

  2. He apparently also believes it’s time to go back to harassing a family who have a court order against him AND that he’s admitted he went overboard in his treatment.

    Bill, stealing someone’s photo, turning it into a threat, and then trying to weasel out by saying you didn’t name the subjects of the photo won’t fly. It didn’t fly when they applied for the court order, it won’t now.

    You whined and complained and filed lolsuits over shopped photos of the Star Trek salt vampire, but when you do it it’s OK? I’m tempted to use ol’ Salty as my avatar, too.

    Cut your losses and drop the suit.

    • The avatar of mine that I used for a time he claimed was his sainted mother? Absolutely nowhere in that picture was any scrap of his mother. In fact, the whole avatar was created from scratch in paint by another member of the zombie and lickspittle horde. The only part of it that was ever part of any other photo was the salt monster face. I still have the avatar picture you know.

      But the truth destroys his narrative so of COURSE I’m lying. Ummm hmmm.

    • And, as should always be pointed out with respect to this incident, this family had no idea who he was before he started to harass them. This was the fruit of a faildox. IIRC, he’s admitted as such before, but now his bone of contention is that they “lied” in their application for whatever the AZ equivalent is of a restraining order.

      • Everyone “lies” when they’re getting court orders against him. Nevermind the documentation, and all the judges who found it believable.

      • As if what they thought they honestly knew at that time means that they deliberately lied. Well, at least according to BS. Then again we can’t expect *everybody* to know precisely who he is, right?

        But because they honestly thought that he did what they claimed they did, that makes ALLLLLL his harassment just A-OK. Riiiiiight!

        • I don’t know about that, but claiming that people have lied to the court is claiming they committed perjury. That’s a crime. And if his statement is false (his failure to appeal means the truth of the situation is what the court declared), he has committed (wait for it)… defamation per se.

      • Nine separate restraining/no contact/peace orders, and he claims that in every one people “lied,” or the judges did not know the law, or the judges were senile, or the judges made googly eyes at a complainant’s attorney. I think this is an excellent approach on his part, because it aids the defendants.

        • Deb Frisch actually took the same tack, claiming that police reports and criminal complaints against her were “lies.”
          Result: 6 months behind bars last year.

  3. Yeah, but it’s different if he thinks that sex between children with adults supervising is funny.

    So the firm of Schmalfeldt, Schmalfeldt and DUMBFUCK advises me.


    • Bill Schmalfeldt thinks sex between children and adults is funny, which makes you wonder how much longer the nuns at Canticle and Juniper Courts will tolerate this pervert’s presence.

  4. “I am probably not a child pornographer.”

    — William Smellfart, Twitter Attorney at Law, collector of multiple court orders from multiple states for harassment and stalking.

Leave a Reply