Legal LULZ Du Jour

JWR smallThe Cabin Boy™ has been hitting the … um … the books … yeah, that’s it … hitting the books over at the Acme Legal Law Library and has come up with another couple of cockamamie theories. He really doesn’t understand the doctrine of res judicata.


I’ve never claimed that Roy Schmalfeldt’s allegations against the Cabin Boy™ are true. What I have noted is that by dismissing his lawsuit against Roy with prejudice, it now a settled matter that the Cabin Boy™ could not prove that what was said was false. I’ve also noted that the legal doctrine of res judicata prohibits The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt from ever suing his distant cousin Roy over those statements again. By extension, if it wasn’t defamatory for Roy to make those statements before 19 August, 2015, it still shouldn’t be defamatory now.

Should someone else say the same thing about Bill Schmalfeldt? I wouldn’t advise it. However, it is not defamation to report the factual outcome of a court case or to offer an opinion about the future consequences of that case.

YGNQ201601121920Zpopcorn4bkThe Cabin Boy™ sued “Roy Schmalfeldt” and lost. The fact that the Cabin Boy™ didn’t know for sure exactly who he was suing doesn’t affect whether res judicata applies. The Cabin Boy™ is suing an unknown Roy in his LOLsuit VI: The Undiscovered Krendler, and res judicata shields that Roy from any thing that the Cabin Boy™ sued or could have sued about prior to 19 August, 2015. If TDPS decides to ID a particular person as “Roy Schmalfeldt,” that should have the affect of transferring the res judicata shield to that defendant.

The Cabin Boy™ should ask The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin about res judicata and it’s bite.

20 thoughts on “Legal LULZ Du Jour

  1. Now, if he threw his computer out the window, that might improve his life.

    Or spent some of what he spends on computers and “rebranding” on an hour’s of a real, belonging to the bar (not the one with the JWR), lawyer.

    But he probably needs to spend his time looking for alternative housing before the snow gets too bad.

  2. Anyone know what the criminal statutes of defamation are in Wisco? The Cardinal Francis of Policia is curious according his spokeswoman Liza…

    Also someone with More than 1/2 a dozen restraining orders should perhaps be aware that the management he claims is supporting him and his activities has categorically DENIED doing such

  3. Professor Hoge, could you please take a quick look in the mirror, and see if I am you?

    Roy Schmalfeldt
    Cult member #4717
    “All is proceeding as I have foreseen.”

  4. “If TDPS decides to ID a particular person as “Roy Schmalfeldt,”……

    What if he decides to ID Roy as 5 or 10 or 30 different people like he’s done with Krendler? Wouldn’t that be FUN?

    • Res Judicata attaches no matter whom is ID’d by Bill as the anonymous blogger known as “Roy Schmalfeldt”
      Yemember, the law only means what Bill wishfully dreams it means, not what is actually written.

      • I repeat, Roy Schmalfeldt is my given name. I’m no more anonymous than Paul Lemmen, or John Hoge.

        I simply have a much smaller web and IRL “footprints”, carefully cultivated over the last fifteen years (thirty years for the IRL presence).

        I do use various pseudonyms elsewhere on the web, but after my initial appearance as “Leroy Oddswatch”, I started using my given name in all matters related to Cousin Bill.

        By and large, I’m “off the grid”.

  5. Nothing makes me smile quite like watching William play lawyer.

    Actually, that’s not entirely true. Seeing Roy toy with him is even better.

    • The joke – which I wasn’t sure was obvious, was that Potato Head would take an innocuous comment about having family out west as a slip up confession. That somewhere in that lumpy potato head the last two synapses lazily firing back and forth at one another would come to the conclusion that the form was still about him, and that the only one who claims to be related to him is Roy… so if our host has family out west, our host MUST be Roy. Hence the evil grin and howls of laughter for what would inevitably become just one more in a long string of faildoxes. I honestly wasn’t sure that joke would get any traction, but without a beat, potato head accuses John of being Roy. Classic.

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