An Email

I received this email on Thursday evening.

From: “” <>
Subject: An Explanation?
Date: January 14, 2016 at 9:26:59 PM CST

Mr. Hoge:

I’m wondering if you would oblige me with an explanation. This blank file is saved in your SCRIBD account. I have two questions which are in vital need of an answer from you.

[embedded images reproduced below]

1. Are you concerned about my mental well-being, or is this just another example of harassment from you?

2. Was this form filled out and mailed, or did you just leave it in your SCRIBD folder for shits and grins?

Given that I am the only person you know that lives in Wisconsin, at the moment, I am taking this as a serious threat that requires a serious response on my part. So, I am hoping you will take a moment to oblige me with an answer explaining the presence of this form on your SCRIBD account. If it has been filled in and sent to anyone, please let me know. If it has not been filled out and sent to anyone, then no harm no foul. But I need to know, sir, and I need to know very soon.


Bill Schmalfeldt

Other than to note that I have extended family who live in the region between Chicago and Milwaukee, I have no comment. Some things simply aren’t any of Bill Schmalfeldt’s business.Screen Shot 2016-01-14 at 9.17.09 PMScreen Shot 2016-01-14 at 9.17.25 PM

187 thoughts on “An Email

  1. Wow Bill…….STALK MUCH?!?!? If you think that form has something to do with you, that’s completely on YOU. Not Mr Hoge. Oh and stop contacting people who have so requested.

  2. You know, if some people didn’t act like lunatics all the time, they wouldn’t have to send emails like that.

  3. A blank form on someone else’s scribbed account is a threat?? This guy is a complete clown, nothing more. Can he really not see that all of his online activity is just providing us with hours and hours of entertainment?

    “I need to know sir, and I need to know soon”

    Doom Clock!!??

  4. “I’m wondering if you would oblige me with an explanation.”

    Wonder no more….


    Get Bent.

    The End.

    • i’d suggest Stinky keep his greasy nose OUT of other people’s business.

      a sentiment I believe he has expressed to our esteemed host many times.
      he should follow his own advice.

  5. Huh.

    Let me see if I understand this:

    Billy drinks a bottle of JWR, then starts to scan the Gentle Hosts Scribd library and finds this document. In his drunken stupor, he wobbles up, proclaims to the Three Stooges poster pictrue on his wall, wearing only whitey tighties, “WHO THE HELL DOES HE KNOW IN WISSSSTHCONSSSSINN BESSSIDDES *hic* BESSID… *burp* MEEEE???” Then he plops down and fashions an extortionate email that he’s “threatened” by a blank form. He then slouches back in his chair, points his finger like a pistol at the screen, while holding the mostly empty bottle in his other hand and says, “I GOT YOU NOW, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGYYYY!!!” and then passes out.

    Did I miss anything?

    Feel free to add to the story anything I missed..

  6. He is the only person you know who lives in Wisconsin? Really? He assumes that, he doesn’t KNOW it.

  7. Willie prowls around in someone else’s folder. Finds there a form from the state of Wisconsin IN BLANK. Asserts that Willie knows for a fact that Hoge knows only one person resident in Wisconsin, namely Willie. And finally concludes that a blank form in someone else’s files (not communicated to Willie) is intended to threaten Willie.

    I do not believe that Willy drinks alcohol because he has denied doing so in submissions to a court, but has he made any assertions about other mind-altering drugs?

      • No, he’s admitted MANY uses. I do believe if you check you’ll see it was an ongoing thing, this “smoking a bowl” with his stepson.

      • The way he acts, I figured he’d been smoking salvia, not cannabis.

        (For the folks going ‘huh?’: Salvia is a plant from the mint family and for some reason gets categorized with marijuana. However, the effects are WILDLY different, as it generates a short-term, intense hallucinogenic effect, And we’re talking SERIOUSLY intense, as in ‘God just poured me in a blender’ levels of crazy.)

        (No, I’m not speaking from personal experience. Google is my friend.)

      • A completely filled version was on page 37 of last week’s newsletter, right after the recipe for snickerdoodles.

          • I have a great recipe for pumpkin bread.

            Warm pumpkin bread with melted butter.

          • I don’t know if you visit ‘Home on the Range’, but Brigid has a corncopia of excellent recipes. Even a thumb-fingered cook like me can do beer bread, and it turns out wonderfully. Great with soup!

          • Toastrider, I really like her blog. All about guns and food. Great topics.

    • Me, but that’s because I hadn’t gotten around to it, yet.

      Phone. Commute. Not at work. Or during working hours, even. No need to get excited.

  8. “1. Are you concerned about my mental well-being, or is this just another example of harassment from you?

    2. Was this form filled out and mailed, or did you just leave it in your SCRIBD folder for shits and grins?”

    Embrace the power of Or-And-And/Or on this one. A direct hit on three out of four contingencies.

    Only years of dedication and study of the Sensei’s works will lead one to the full puissance of which one is capable.

      • Good to hear from you again. It has been a while.
        And a Merry Christmas I hope you had as well.

        I had to spend this years holidays in far and foreign lands, a long way away from Tampa *wink*, but it has been a valuable experience in that it renewed in me a fresh appreciation for what I normally take for granted. Although, if you can stay in a 5 star it helps mitigate the pain somewhat (the staff is wonderful).

        • I hope it’s one of the IHG hotels … they always treated me well! If not, I hope it is one of the Ritz hotels. I have a friend in the Ritz Corporation, based in Dubai, in charge of sales incentives throughout the Middle East (a spiritual son of mine actually), you can DM me on twitter if you think he can make your life better. I spent the past week getting multiple inches of snow every night here in beautiful Bay City, Michigan. Tampa is a distant memory.

  9. “Dear Sir,
    I was skulking around in your garage last night and found this box of rat poison. Seeing how I’m the only rat you know……!!!!!!!!!!”


  10. Maybe, just maybe, it’s sitting there for someone else to use. Who knows? It’s not like BS has hurt or irritated anyone …in Wisconsin.


  11. Interesting.

    I thought that Mr. Hoge had sent a Cease and Decist letter to someone (now in) in Wisconsin.

    Certainly that person knows that, having dealt with the legal system as a result of that for quite some time, and being quite proud of exploiting loopholes in the MD system?

    Surely that person wouldn’t then send an extortionate email. (From a new email account, especially after making light of “how easy” it is to “block” someone from contacting you?)


    • It’d be delicious if Billy’s bitching about a blank Wisconsin psycho-form led to his arrest for violating a no-contact order. Followed by…Billy getting locked up for his OCD psycho stalking behavior

      • Stranger things *may* have occurred at sometime, somewhere. But honestly, I can’t think of them. Hmmm.

    • Well, evidently, that person believes that having moved means people now want to be contacted. He’s wrong, but this is not a new experience for him.

      From my phone. At the station, and the burnt-out ends of smoky days.

  12. Pingback: The Great White BUTTHURT Hunter Poses With His Kill | The Thinking Man's Zombie

  13. Somewhere in Wisconsin, a wheezing potato head contorts into a twisted grin. The pale glow of the computer monitor lights the scores of empty mayonnaise jars covering the computer desk and the hulking potato head’s eyes roll back in the lumpy misshapen head. The massive, broken body begins to tremble, as if in a seizure, before the lumpy potato head begins shrieking with laughter. “I’ve got you now, cousin Roy. You have given yourself away… and now you are going down, like so many boy scouts in my erotic fiction. I’ve got you where I want you, Cousin Roy… or should I say, HOGE! I WILL GET YOU HOGE!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  14. Let’s see, our gracious host lives in the greater DC area. We know he’s spent time in Nashville, among other places.
    It’s IMPOSSIBLE that he knows anyone else anywhere in the country.
    Pretty sure this fits the definition of either narcissism or megalomania. The browsing through the scribd account is just crazed paranoia at best.
    Is there still a no contact order? I’m lost on those.

    • I’m sitting here in my company vehicle, engaged in company business and I had a question. If I were to draw a particularly morbid picture of a certain Wisconsin fat man and tape it to the inside door of a linen closet where nobody else in the world could see it, would that qualify as terroristic threats toward that particular Wisconsin fat man?

      • Does it depict rape?

        (Has Cousin William M. “Bill” Schmalfeldt, Sr., figured out that his continuous and horrific presence on the web increases the likelihood that people will Google his name, and find it associated with sundry awful things, like his own words?

        I think not.)

  15. I am appalled at the premise of having such a document. The involuntary commitment system exists to help certain people with forceable treatment. I, for one, have zero interest in helping Bill Schmalfeldt. And, after what he did to the Stranahans, and, others, it would be a slap in the faces to his numerous victims to help him. How about acting to help Schmalfeldt’s victims instead?

    Nor, should one fail to consider the practical effects of filing such a document. Bill Schmalfeldt will certainly demand his process rights. There he’ll produce a series of 8 1/2″ x11″ glossy photos lying out the relationships between his enemies claiming that they are acting with malice. Those conducting the hearing just might favor investigating his claims before following there gut instinct that they just might have found Captain Queeg’s long-lost bastard child. That defense lead to a denial of Peace Order in Maryland once. It could work again.

    What if Neal or Brett convince some reporter that this is a case of political persecution?

    After watching for years our so-called “Justice” system fail to protect the innocent, I, for one, have no faith that the outcome of such a hearing will in any way be either just or fair. Suppose they conclude that he is batshit crazy, but, incapable of harm to others, so don’t commit him. What then? Do you really want to read the ranting of Bill Schmalfeldt claiming that he is only person in this situation that has been certified as being sane?????

    I’m sure the nuns are debating what to do about their lost soul. He’s their problem now!

    • I must disagree!

      I think the nuns are finished debating. I believe that sometime in late June of this year, a letter will appear in the mailbox of apartment 108, or will perhaps be slipped under the door in the dark of night, or may even be posted on the door with a thumbtack (or a hatchet, but not likely because doors cost money to replace). That letter may cover many subjects but the primary phrase of interest will be “you have 60 days to vacate.”)

      Fortunately the bridges and viaducts of Milwaukee will still be warm and cozy by the end of August. On the other hand, Wi-Fi is scarce and computers tend to get stolen and traded for recreational pharmaceuticals.


  16. Hey, this wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that I once posted the link to the form, and then our awesome host fixed it by embedding it in the comment, would it?

    Cuz being the indirect cause of a Biwwy rant is something I’ve aspired to since, like, two minutes ago.

  17. Someone claimed that my child had bruises on her arms in a photo which somehow indicated abuse. Of course they were actually bug bites that the child had scratched at (you can still see a few of the very faded scars).

    I wonder why they are so focused on bruises on the arms. Did they have to ensure that someone they know wore long sleeves, even in the summer?

  18. The completed form has a typo – it has the day and month of the birth date transposed. It should be 01/04/XXXX (January 4th), NOT 04/01/XXXX (April 1st).

  19. I wonder if it has occurred to the person leaving anonymous threats that only a profoundly mentally ill person would do something like that. SEEK PSYCHIATRIC HELP.

  20. Another classic Hoggy forgery. Does Hoggy own the domain Senile old fool.

    Suspected evidence forger to the end, eh, Hoge?

      • It’s closing on 200.

        And, hey, it’s really like we noticed that Bill Schmalfeldt is – once again – harassing people after seeking out (and creating a paranoid fantasy out of nothing much) a BLANK government form in somebody’s – not his! – SCRIBD account to get excited and nasty.

        Damned fool.

        Sent from my phone, at nearly 10 pm on a Friday. Which is pretty obvious, but that won’t stop cetain people from believing it was sent from work, on work equipment and on the office’s dime. Because?

        Damned if I know.

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