BREAKING: Lynn Thomas’s petition for a stalking no contact order against Bill Schmalfeldt was granted.

More later.

UPDATE—The Cabin Boy™ was a no show. His motion to dismiss was denied because he failed to serve a copy on Mrs. Thomas. The order was granted based on the evidence she presented to the court.

The member of the Vast Hogewash Research Organization who was present reports that the judge asked Lynn if she knew who is Paul Krendler. She responded, “I don’t know; he’s currently suing 28 people in Federal Court for being Paul Krendler.”


UPDATE 2—Here is a copy of the order.

138 thoughts on “Qapla’

  1. Lynn lied! The judge was flirting with her! Aliens!

    Bwahahaha happy birthday Bill. Another restraining order on the facts. Great present huh?

  2. Two down, at least one to go.

    Does Bill’s landlord know? And do they believe in “Three strikes, and you’re out!”?

    Will William M Schmalfeldt set the Guinness Book of World Records in the fastest accumulation of three restraining orders?

  3. So this makes, what, the sixth or is it the seventh judge who has played fast and loose with the law and granted no harassment orders contrary to the evidence purely out of malice for the 100% disabled veteran widower? /damn but that was hard to type with a straight face! 😀 😀 😀 😀

  4. On his lates blog, BS makes certain false and libelous claims:

    “[I’ve] learned that all you have to do if you want to terrorize and harass a disabled person who can’t travel is pretend as if you sent a “cease and desist” notice, then schedule a hearing someplace the disabled person cannot get to unassisted.” — Lynn never contacted, harassed, or “terrorized” BS. He started harassing her and her family, sua sponte. BS is fully able to travel, unassisted, and did so as recently as August when he moved from Maryland. He notified Maryland law enforcement in September that he had the means and the he physical ability to travel back to that state for trials. In December, he bragged on Twitter that a lovely train ride to Illinois would be easy to do. Finally, BS admitted IN HIS OWN ANSWER, that he had received a cease and desist notice. See exhibit 4.

    “It’s even better if you have a judge who refuses to even look at your evidence that you have not harassed the individual seeking the order, and you ignore the evidence that the petitioner has called at least a dozen people “stalkers” over the past years.” The judge did look at it, and rejected it for two reasons: (1) BS failed to serve Lynn with his answer and motion to dismiss, and (2) the judge used the SAME ARGUMENT BS helpfully included in his motion to dismiss – that other legal proceedings, i.e., restraining orders, against BS were irrelevant to the matter at hand. I am sure the judge appreciated that.

    “Hold your hearing in a heavily Republican county, get your Republican “justice.”” Uh, huh. Like the Democrat-dominated courts in Masaachusetts and Maryland, who came to the same. Inclusion?

    “Lynn Thomas was only of interest to me when I considered the possibility that she might be “Paul Krendler.” Now that Sarah Palmer has spilled the beans and identified Patrick Grady (who, I am assuming, fed Hoge with from the scene coverage — unless Hoge popped for a Trailways ticket or something) as “Krendler,” my lawsuit will proceed.” — This is nothing other than a bald-faced lie. The incident during which BS claims Sarah allegedly “spilled the beans” occurred literally MONTHS before he started harassing Lynn and her elderly parents.

    Shame on him.

    • Yes, it couldn’t possibly be that he is a stalking stalker who likes to harasses the Krendler of the Week. Couldn’t be that the mass of fail he sent to the courts was unpersuasive must like everyone of his Lolsuits. No, nothing is ever his fault. He is a special snowflake that can never be held accountable for his own actions.

      Damn it must SUCK to live in that skull.

      • “Krendler of the Week.”

        Sounds like a cool contest. Maybe a caption contest on the astronomical photos, or maybe Our Gracious Host could post the pictures without naming them, and whoever first identifies the feature gets to be Krendler Of The Week.

        And we can have Deputy Krendlers Of The Week…

        And maybe we can get Steve Harvey to announce the winners!

        Ooh! Ooh! A Billy Impersonation contest. Whoever can best impersonate Billy gets to be Krendler for a week!

        No, strike that. There would be no winners, just losers. Never mind…

    • If he knew back in JUNE that Krendler was Grady because of me, well, I just don’t know what to say.

      Oh wait! Yes I do!

      Res Judicata.

  5. Maybe Kimberlin will toss Schmalfeldt a biscuit as a show of ‘moral’ support. “Good boy, Bill. Keep trying. (Haaa haaa haa ha ha.)”

    • Well, according to the movies, the Kobayashi Maru was suppose to be a test of how the person dealt with failure. Sounds like we’re finding out with Bill now….

      • According to Bill Schmalfeldt, Kobayashi Maru is about creating a possible solution when all the available alternatives lead to failure [as Ensign James T. Kirk did in the fictional TV series.] All Bill Schmalfeldt has created are alternate means to failure.

        He has embarrassed himself in the process.

    • Somebody needs to tell him that you can’t trade these things or he’s gonna keep collecting duplicates.

  6. His protests at his ill-usage wrt to the unsolicited message he recorded for later playback, without expectation of privacy – are hilarious. If I’m the judge I’m thinking “total fruitcake.” Of course it would help that the message is unctuous, scary and creeptastic as well as slurred.

    • Are you aware that those who have disabilities have a greater responsibility to maintain a healthy weight, since being overweight and obese severely exacerbates medical conditions. Did you also know that the reasons for being overweight or obese are almost universally because of overeating and poor dietary choices. It is also worth mentioning that Johnnie Walker Red has 4200 calories in one 1.75 L bottle and an entire 30oz jar of mayonnaise has 5640 calories.

      The more you know. 🙂

  7. Ah, and now he’s making noise about his options because Lynn “lied” about him suing 28 people for being PK.

    Here’s the deal: it’s not a lie if you believe it to be true. She is not a lawyer. I am sure the poor woman has no idea what BS’s latest legal shenanigans du jour are, nor would she probably care. And the best part? Such a mistake is completely irrelevant because it is not a material fact at issue. BS could be suing no one at all, or 1000 girlfriends and their husbands, and the result would have been the same.

  8. I have had real work to do today so I am way behind.

    Congratulations to Lynn.

    Thanks to the reporter on the scene and John for keeping the public apprised.

    As for me, I am ROFLMAO.

    • Just because one is disabled and has to have assistance from various employees of the transportation company does not mean that one is unable to travel alone.

      Both of my parents must be disabled because I pick them up from (and usually drive them to) the train station every time every time they take a trip. They will be so pleased to hear that they are disabled. For that matter, I am the member of the family with the handicapped parking placard because of how bad my knee is. So the handicapped family member is the one “giving assistance” to the non-handicapped family members.

      • He wants us all to believe that he is just a disabled old man. He is nothing of the sort. Anyone who can mail packages of documents from the post office is not disabled.

        • Bingo!

          His definition of disabled is completely fluid, depending on what serves his perceived needs at the time. Some days he’s confined to a wheelchair for life, and others he takes long walks, admittedly using a walker, but still, most folks I know who need rolly-walkers would not be able to walk a mile or more.

          • In the larger scheme of things, aren’t psychosis and idiocy disabilities? In some jurisdictions, alcoholism is, to.

          • I don’t think he’s an alcoholic — you shouldn’t blame alcohol when stupidity is sufficient explanation.

          • I didn’t say that William’s an alcoholic, just that it’s a recognized disability in several places.

  9. Pingback: Congratulations to Lynn Thomas | Dave Alexander & Company — Ukuleledave and David Edgren

  10. I do hope that Willie’s answer with exhibits is going to be put up. It is a submission to an Illinois court so I am guessing that makes it a public document under Illinois law.

  11. …proving again that the answer to the question “how stupid can Bill Schmalfeldt be”, is…

    “Science has yet to discover a limit”.

    • Hmmmmmmm….

      The tenor of that E-mail doesn’t seem kosher, yannowhatimean?? It’s possible John wrote that comment, but my money is on another weak Failsauce attempt at a Schmaldick set up.

      • Wait, I thought Hoge had dropped Twitter after Team Kimblerlin got him gulaged one…OK seven… too many times. So how could…

        Oh, I see, someone is being “clever” again. Probably the same guy that put up the TurdsRFood site.

        • Wait, “WJJ Hoge” says “don’t mention me again.” But @FrendoDaPeeples didn’t mention Hoge, so how did the threatening reply show up?

          PhotoShop much? Sorry, apparently not.

          PowerPoint much? Sorry, still not buying it.

          MS Paint much?

      • Actually,I believe that is supposed to be a comment to Willy’s alleged “blog”.

        And we all know it is bogus because of one small fact: Willy, look around yourself right now. You are already “destroyed”. You did it to yourself. Why waste a trip to WI?

        Anyway, that soooooo isn’t John. A blind man can see it. John’s got more style than that.

    • Too bad the creator has vision problems (possibly alcohol-related)? Mixed fonts? Really? Can anyone identify the font in the 2nd and 3rd messages??

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