Legal LULZ Du Jour

The Cabin Boy™ filed this motion to dismiss Lynn Thomas’s petition for a stalking no contact order for lack of personal jurisdiction.

He then agreed to the court’s jurisdiction by filing an answer to the petition.


We’ll see how the judge deals with all this.

Please note that these public documents are reproduced in the same form as Schmalfeldt published them himself.

UPDATE—BREAKING: Motion to dismiss denied.

Stay tuned for more.

19 thoughts on “Legal LULZ Du Jour

  1. ACME Law: When you care enough to file the very….aaaaaAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *gasp* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  2. IS it workth noting that Schmalfldt is already subject to Illinois jurisdiction thanks to a prior, active Stalking No Contact Order?

    Oops, indeed.

  3. 15. in his answer states he is so disabled that travel and even walking unassisted is extremely difficult.
    So difficult that he moved from Maryland to Wisconsin all by his little lonesome by train.
    So difficult that he routinely goes into town to file court documents and mail packages and takes lakeside walks.
    So difficult that he informed LE in Maryland that he would have no trouble travelling there anytime at all if they wanted him to testify in the (non) case of the “forged” letter.

  4. Same what do you call someone that stakes people over the Internet? It’s right on the tip of my tongue.

    Oh right, a CYBERSTALKER 😂😂😂😂

  5. Change the gender in the pronouns and who does this sound like?

    From the Answer:
    WHEREFORE, Respondent is of the opinion that the petitioner is a mentally unstable person with anger management issues who holds resentment over the way she is perceived by the normal world in which reality prevails, she confuses invective and name-calling for wit. She has been doing online battle for more than a decade under a variety of different names, and anyone who stands up to her bullying tactics is labeled a “stalker,”

    Bill Schmalfeldt, the most self-unaware person on the planet.

    Also, The BLOB screwed up the punctuation at the end – nice job GS-13 Writer/Editor (which is the equivalent of an Army Major).

    • He s rowed up more then that.

      BTW, does calling someone names in your legal document show what a level headed person you are or that you are a juvenile waking dick? Asking for a friend.

  6. Missed the class at Acme Law on including a certificate of service on the opposing party on every pleading submitted to the court.

    • Nope, Bill aced the Acme Law “Screwing your opponent by not serving them” class.
      Unfortunately for Bill his motion got tossed because he diddler with the service. MD could learn something from IL

  7. Oy vey,

    Does Bill Schmalfeldt realize he has just admitted that his own case should be dismissed? In fact, he has given up a useful defense against sanctions. Previously, he could have pleaded that he was just a poor dumb pro se who didn’t know better.

    As of today, he knows better.

    If I was his lawyer, i would move to voluntarily dismiss his suit in the Wisconsin court, now, with an apology. Maybe if he is lucky, if he shows sufficient contrition, he will not be sanctioned.

    And never sue a person again unless they are verifiably in the same state.

    But then again, Bill doesn’t listen to even his own lawyers, like Tae Kim.

    • Yep, his asserting that the long-arm statutes do not apply in the cases of Lynn and Ash is going to be VERY handy when asking for sanctions against him: he clearly has a good idea of how such statutes work. He is not the brightest bulb in the carton (unless perhaps we are talking about the Team Kimbergarten carton).

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