Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype phone rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good morning, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Hello! How ya’ doin’?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) I’m fine. I had a great time at the Christmas party.

JOHNNY: Yeah, it was good to see you again.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) What do you know about serving court papers?

JOHNNY: A bit. Here in Maryland, anyone over 18 can do it. I have occasionally. Why?

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) What do you know about the rules in Illinois?

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of the At Your Service Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch Have you tried A&D ointment for that sore spot?

JOHNNY: Actually, I have had some experience related to serving court papers in Illinois. It’s not something I can do. Illinois requires personal service of process, and it has to be done either by a deputy sheriff or an Illinois-licensed private investigator in most of the state. In Cook County only the sheriff can handle service (with a few exception). Which brings us back to that phone call …

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) (Fading in) … so he says he’s mailed out waiver of service forms.

JOHNNY: Hmmmm. I’m not a lawyer, but with that no contact order in place, Grayson would probably be within his rights if he refused to accept any mail from The Grouch. He should check with his lawyer.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) (Fading out) That’s what I told him when …

JOHNNY: That wasn’t the only call I had about The Grouch trying to serve Grayson.

SOUND: Skype rings twice

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) Johnny, it’s Pete Grayson.

JOHNNY: Hi, Pete. I thought you might call.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) I guess that means you’ve heard about The Grouch’s latest legal shenanigans.

JOHNNY: I’ve heard rumors.

ANNOUNCER: How do you plan to celebrate the New Year? My friends and I will be toasting the New Year with our favorite beverages in Team Lickspittle Drinking Glasses. Like all Team Lickspittle stuff, they’re available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today and spend some money. It’s a great way to support Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar or by doing your Amazon shopping via the link on the Home page.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) (Fading in) … so, yeah, I didn’t accept the package.

JOHNNY: And that’s his basis for thinking that the Marshals will serve you?

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) That’s what he posted online.

JOHNNY: Uh, huh. It could happen, although in my experience, most courts won’t order the Marshals Service to serve process in a private civil suit unless the plaintiff has pauper status.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) He didn’t file for that this time.

JOHNNY: Well, if the court orders them to serve you and if The Grouch is willing to front the money for their service fees, …

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) That’s a big if.

JOHNNY: Yeah, but talk to your lawyer about that. Meanwhile, your email with your list of things you want researched just popped up. I’ll get a report to you and your lawyer as soon as I can. There may be some travel involved.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) Do it. By the way, how’s your Latin.

JOHNNY: A bit rusty. High school was a few years back.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) Murum aries attigit.

JOHNNY: I know that one.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheGrouch You’ll have to marshall more resources.

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? New nonsense for the New Year. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for an episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

6 thoughts on “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

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