Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Good evening, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Well, hello!

RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Have you been reading any of the junk Bunny Boy’s been publishing lately?

JOHNNY: Not really. What have I missed?

RULE 5 GIRL: He’s done a post about that suit against The Bomber, and some of the comments are disturbing?

JOHNNY: Really? I’ll take a look.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of The Point of View Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @BunnyBoyUnread Have you ever passed a polygraph test?

JOHNNY: There’s a fairly infamous character on the Internet known as The Bomber. He got that name as a result of a conviction in federal court for a series of seemingly random bombings that terrorized a town in the midwest. He’s always been a litigious jerk. While he was in prison, he sued the widow of a victim to try to prevent her from collecting a damage judgment.

Since his second release on parole—his first parole was revoked for cheating that same widow—he’s taken to suing people who write or speak publicly about his past or his present activities. He managed to win one case by default, but has failed at every other suit he’s filed. He’s also filed bogus criminal complaints against a couple of bloggers, and one of them is now fighting back with a countersuit.

It’s patently obvious that the Bunny Boy Unread is a wholly-owned subsidiary of The Bomber’s Internet operation and that Bunny Boy, the current editor, is something of a Bomber groupie. Thus, it was not surprising to find that a *scare quotes* news *unquote* story at BBU was chock full of misrepresentations and outright lies trying to spin news about that countersuit in The Bomber’s favor.

In order to sort fact from fiction I had to sit down and slog though over three years of BBU’s BS, a period extending to before Bunny Boy became associated with the site.

JOHNNY TWEETS (SYNTH VOICE) I’m reading a backlog of @BunnyBoyUnread Wait till the clients see my expense report for brain bleach

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BBU WEBPAGE: (SYNTH VOICE) (Fading in) … his co-defendants in the litigation spurred by the 2013 divorce court shenanigans have redoubled their efforts to reach settlements with The Bomber.

JOHNNY: That’s an example of the BBU’s BS. A look at the court records shows that some of the defendants in The Bomber’s suits have settled with him. It also shows that they were unwise to do so. All the other resolutions of the claims so far have been either dismissals, summary judgments, or directed verdicts in favor of defendants. The Bomber has had a perfect record as a loser.

What makes the nonsense in the BBU post so exceptionally stupid is that it was published 11 days after The Bomber’s latest LOLsuit had been dismissed against 6 of the defendants. Anyone who looks at the record can see The Bomber’s case is failing.

BBU WEBPAGE: (SYNTH VOICE) (Fading in) … is still in a position to file criminal charges for perjury.

JOHNNY: In that article BBU’s mythical perjury claim was based on the failure of a witness being cross-examined by The Bomber to authenticate a tweet as something the witness had written. Bunny Boy tried hard to spin that as a lie by the witness. But Bunny Boy was lying, and he got caught. It turned out that the tweet in question had been reproduced in an article written by Bunny Boy and that he had properly cited the original author of the tweet.

That’s amateur’s mistake.

But it’s to be expected. The Bomber can’t keep his lies straight either.

Meanwhile, digging through that backlog brought out several leads that have pointed to hard evidence that is now in my clients’ hands. We’ll see how they use it to push back.

Oh, and about those comments that disturbed Rule 5 Girl … Yeah, those people are sick. Really sick.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheBomber So, what do you think of pro se lawfare now?

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next time? You can’t make this stuff up. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for an episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

20 thoughts on “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

  1. Well, actually…you CAN make this stuff up. Team Kimberlin are living proof of that.

    Getting away with it…that’s another matter.

  2. “It’s patently obvious that the Bunny Boy Unread is a wholly-owned subsidiary of The Bomber’s Internet operation and that Bunny Boy, the current editor, is something of a Bomber groupie.”

    This is just a guess, but I don’t think Osborne is Brett’s type, which probably goes a long way in explaining why Matt’s so furious all the time.

  3. Good thing this is fiction!

    It occurred to me that The Grouch and Bunny Boy have a common bond: military careers lacking any significant accomplishments.

  4. …Bunny Boy, the current editor, is something of a Bomber groupie.

    You don’t say! Are you suggesting that this might not be straight up journalism?

    Kimberlin has never been enthusiastic for comic book superheroes since his childhood, much less shown any fondness for the eccentric and obscure DC series which inspired Stan Lee to create a much more famous Marvel Comics imitation, The X-Men.

    (No, I won’t link it.) Um. Er. Whooooo…. Ah…ha…ha…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

    You’ve sure got a nose for news, Bunny Boy. It’s pretty clear where you keep it parked.

  5. I laugh at how BunnyBoyUnread’s latest story, this time involving my Harassment case against William M Schmalfeldt Sr, speculates about testimony in a hearing without talking to anyone who was actually there.

    He should have gotten a transcript, like a real journalist would have.

    • “I laugh at how BunnyBoyUnread’s latest story, this time involving my Harassment case against William M Schmalfeldt Sr, speculates about testimony in a hearing without talking to anyone who was actually there.”

      But he did talk to someone who was actually there, Scott – he talked to you and this was your response:

      Mr. Osborne, you are to consider this a formal Cease and Desist Demand from me to you. I do not want you to contact me in any way, including, but not limited to: in person, by phone, by email, or through any social media. You are not to contact me, my wife, or either of our places of employment. Any contact you have with me should be through the U.S. Mail, and only those things required by court rules.

      Bill Schmalfeldt acknowledged today on his website that the two of you are friends. As the Harassment Prevention Order I have obtained explicitly prohibits contacts including through a third person, I will consider all contacts by you to be contact through a third person, and to be a violation of that order. Violation of that order is a criminal offense, and there are no exceptions to the court’s order for “the press”.”

      Any more whoppers you want to tell out of school, Scott?

      Yeah, we’re done here.

      • Why not just get the official court case transcript and the supporting documents for yourself Mr Very O. Seaman? I’ve seen most of the documents submitted by Mr Dogg and Acme Legal, why haven’t you and Mr Bunny Boy gathered those documents? Wouldn’t that type of information be the BASIS of a story on Mr Dogg & The Blob? But the point is now moot because “Above It All” Bill has surfaced and he is done with all Lickspittles & Zombies(his words). He is “taking the power back” and will never concern himself with the evil Team Free Speech again. I’m really glad Bill has decided to stop all this insane fighting & harassment and move on with his life!!!!!!!

        • Willie – no transcript = malice. At any rate, a primary purpose of the hit piece was to attempt to deflect attention that Whoisnumber contacted the court and the email was included by the court as an exhibit. Stupid is as stupid does.

      • Yeah, no, “talking” to the subject AFTER publishing an unsourced hit piece is not the same as talking to him beforehand.

        Yeah, we’re done here.

      • I notice you didn’t post any time of when I sent that – it was hours after the garbage appeared on the bunnyboyunread site. So he didn’t “talk” to anyone who was there before publishing his “piece”.

        And how exactly is a “go away and don’t bother me” message “talking” in any sense of the word? Yes, we’re done here, because I refused to play the game.

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