67 thoughts on “The Cabin Boy™ Throws in the Towel

  1. Does this mean he will no longer be the Elkridge Horror???
    Anyone want to bet he is moving in order to establish diversity with our gentle host?
    I wonder if there was fear pee on this motion to dismiss…
    He probably shouldn’t have got in the ring with a heavy hitter.

    • If there’s “mistake” he’s already admitted it is his own. Any conclusions drawn from his own error must be blamed on his error, and his bad reputation for bending facts to burnish his vanity.

      I can believe him mistaken, but there doesn’t seem to be any indication LSU went to the beach, whether HQ or HQcompany.
      If he’s got proof he can produce it. He doesn’t have to. He can suit himself.

      But if he wants error correction when the error is his own, he had better provide the proof if he wants people to skip over what he already said.

      • One can only hope that the Lion of Lebanon files another lulzsuit based on the current expose. That’ll be the most hysterical one yet.

        He was lying then and he’s lying now.

  2. Eh, it’s what he does when he knows he bit off more then he can chew and he’s about to get his ass kicked yet again in court. He takes his ball and runs away. This time it’s different because I think it finally sunk into his thick skull that he faced real consequences. His lying on his IFP and then failing to notify the court of his change in financial status was going to be really hard for him to defend himself against. Of course any of the named defendants could move for the court to ignore his request until the perjury on his IFP is ruled on. But since this is MD I would expect the judge to take the easiest way out and let the case drop regardless of how much time and money Schmalfeldt caused the defendants to lose.

    • I would think that there have been SEVERAL answers to his improperly timed and submitted FAC. His argument for dismissal is as abject a failure as any of his other pleadings.

  3. It is rather adorable that the Cabin Boy is trying to walk away because his victims refuse to be sued the way he thinks they should be.

    Oliver Wendell Jones strikes again!

    • Yeah, he doesn’t seem to realize that there are things you have to exhaust before you even begin to answer to the complaint. And they (we) weren’t done exhausting them. He just wanted things to be done chop-chop on HIS time. Well, all I have to say is that I have two middle fingers for him on that one.

    • And as PK once said, “I lowered my sword once because Hoge requested it” not a true quote, but PK would probably confirm it as essentially accurate.

      Other “players” have seen how the game is played, and how Hoge’s morality is rewarded. Others may have seen it coming, I expect WJJ Hoge did as well. I have expressed before my belief that he is a better man than I am.

      But his sacrifice has shown the others what mercy entails. No, this motion to “forgive and forget” will not be unopposed. Other parties have paid costs, either in fees or time. They have had emotional damages. The First Amendment has taken damages which can only be repaid from Bill’s wallet and/or hide.

      In D&D parlance, doing what Hoge did was Lawful Good. Doing it again would be Lawful Stupid.

      We can only hope that even a Maryland court cares.

    • He thinks that he gets to dictate what happens and when. After all, that’s why he liked being the plaintiff!

      In William’s addled and gin-soaked mind, pointing out that he has no earthly clue what he’s talking about is not a response.

      And seeing that this is now the second lulzsuit he’s abandoned on the field of battle, the Conquering Hero of Lebanon should really stop calling people cowards.

      • Let’s see, one was settled, one was dismissed because he was too stupid to understand diversity of citizenship despite it being in writing and everything, the first one and the current one were officially drowned in fear pee.

        I’m missing one …

      • Now I remember! The state case against WJJH, BusStopOffice and Howard was dismissed because William can’t make a jurisdiction argument to save his life.

        When you’re on a roll like that, why stop at just five lulzsuits?

    • Oh of course he is! It’s always the way he wants it, don’tchaknow? Well, there may still be surprises in store for him whether he likes it or not. We shall see.

    • No, the motions aren’t Answers under the rules. The Answer is a separate filing and direct response to the Complaint where the defendant admits or denies every paragraph of the Complaint.

      A Motion to Dismiss delays the time for the Defendant to file an Answer.

  4. It should be pointed out that in cowering away from this particular lulzsuit, he’s either saying that being called a rapist isn’t all that bad or he’s conceding the truth of it.

    We can all draw our own conclusions about which is the case.

  5. While this is obviously good news, I don’t think Smallmind will ever learn. I think everyone who has been dragged through this by the creep from Elkridge should do whatever they can legally under a completely scorched earth, no mercy for evil idiots EVER, policy.

  6. Sanctions!

    Nothing less!!!

    Life has consequences………good and bad!

    The Elkridge Horror is already metastesizing into something more putridly and odoriferously horrific as it scuttles sideways toward Wisconsin, but the hunters from Stolen Valor will locate, pinpoint, exorcise and immolate the Demon!

    Ashes to ashes…….all fall down.

  7. Huh, weird, his proposed order goes out of the way to say that as a “finding of fact and law…” “…none of the defendants filed an answer.”

    How odd.
    Can’t just dismiss, gotta get one last jab in.

  8. ” …and Plaintiff no longer has the desire or the energy to pursue this suit.”

    Oh. No desire? No energy? Well, then. If that’s the case. By all means.

    Maybe kinda, sorta like the defendants didn’t have the desire or the energy to pursue the suit in order to defend themselves against his vexatious, bogus, and deceitful bullshit?

    F*** him.

    • It turns out that Gail’s memory is important enough for him to file the lulzsuit, just not important enough for him to see it through.


      • More like the IFP challenges were raising the Tincasa Depends expenditures to the point where they were eclipsing the “smoke a bowl and have a bag of Cheetos” accounts.

        Plus the fear pee, on two parties, about financial disclosure totally harshed the mellow, man.

        But not the Mellow Yellow.

    • IANAL but does this mean this guy gets to just walk away after causing all this financial and legal havoc in the defendant’s lives? That’s not right.

      Don’t educate the monkey and all that. Yes, I’ll stay tuned.

  9. It would be a real shame if one of the named defendants files an opposition to his motion to dismiss and/or a counterclaim before the judges rules on this. Guess we’ll just have watch the docket for the next couple of days…..

    • Thanks for posting this, the similarities between B.S., Kimberlin and Mix says a lot about the stupidly of narcissistic liberals (ah I know I’m repeating myself)

    • Gee, no actual clue, but I gotta say “yes.” Do the named and/or served victims, I mean, victims, but let’s say for pedantry “defendants” have any say in “but I took all this butthhurt I at least want closure on _this_.”

      My beliefs are, yes, and re: IFP motions filed prior, Oh, God, yes.

      If only I were in any position of authority.

  10. Congratulations to the Defendants.

    I even wish B.S. condolences for the death of his wife. I remain a “skeptic” about B.S.’s fact statements and the lawsuit was completely frivolous and vexatious, but in the abundance of caution I will wish him condolences anyway.

    • Didn’t the federal government already have suck a law that was invalidated by the Supreme Court on First Amendment grounds?

      • Yes.

        But it was struck down on Free Speech grounds. States are getting around that by going after those who derive tangible benefits from their Stolen Valor such as receiving discounts, disability benefits (veterans job training, health, insurance, etc), those who receive free trips or goodies from veteran service organizations (say hunting trips meant for combat veterans) by telling stories that do not match their records.


        And anyone who used stolen valor claims for receiving job preference — such as claiming you were trained on some technical equipment when you were really a military journalist. Or claiming you were a top notch military journalist when you were mostly a student, patient or recovering from injury by working at officer or enlisted clubs.

      • One would think that that sort of thing could be prosecuted under all-purpose fraud statutes. But that’s just me. I have a thing about making the same act illegal five different ways.

      • And Neal, you have my respect for your distaste in making the same act illegal six different ways.

        But an illegal is a sick bird. (ill – eagle)

        At this point, since I have no reason to doubt that law will be pointed at me, I have no reason not to point it at Bill, or anyone else I dislike.

        Yes, it is a sick sign of a decaying society.

    • re: “…get away from…lickspittles nonsense.” Wisconsin hasn’t heard of the Internet yet? Really? Who knew. 🙂

  11. Over at Dave’s (https://ukuleledave.wordpress.com/2015/08/17/was-bill-schmalfeldt-really-in-beirut-krendler-says-no/comment-page-1/#comment-1059) BS just tried to claim that the Marine Amphibious Unit (MAU) was commanded by a Major (O-4).

    Which would come as a shock to the attached Battalion Landing Team which was commanded by a Lieutenant Colonel (O-5) and the 32nd MAU’s commander a Colonel (O-6).

    And the lies from BS mouth keep on coming! ;D

  12. I don’t think he would have skipped over any chance to embellish his adventures – he now walks back the thrills and chills of his storming the beach with no bullets and a a pack of band aids, but he was clearly stressing his valiant participation before….I have a hard time believing he would leave out a daring chopper ride (as the military records do, they make no mention of his units participation) seeing as how sometimes people,get heads chopped off and stuff.

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