In Re a LOLsuit

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt has a post up at The Liberal Grouch (No, I won’t link to it.) that contains this motion which he says he will file by mail tomorrow.

Note: The embedded document is the one Bill Schmalfeldt posted on his Scribd account.

I do not wish to comment on this motion until after I have had a chance to review the version actually filed with the court.

UPDATE—Apparently, the Cabin Boy™ has changed his mind.@GrouchyOldLib201505110040Z

102 thoughts on “In Re a LOLsuit

  1. What a piece of sanctimonious BS. I think I’m actually more disgusted by him now. A Mother’s Day gift for Connie? No, more like stroking his, um, ego IFYKWIMAITYD. Utterly disgusting.

  2. Obviously, it isn’t my decision to make, but I would insist on dismissal with prejudice.

    • He has absolutely no concept of how the First Amendment works. All it means is that the GOVERNMENT cannot impose restrictions.

      Think of the blog as a house. If I went to Mr. Hoge’s house, and acted like Schmendrick, the host would be within his rights to ask me to leave, up to and including escorting me from the premises or contacting law enforcement to do so.

      Urge to publicize TK all over the place RISING.

    • “I have no wish to contact him, except I want the right to contact him any time I want”

      Yep. And…

      “I want my arbitrary definitions of non-harassing, peaceable, and reasonable to apply when I contact the very person who has demanded for two+ years that I cease and desist all contact. AND, I want the victim of my unwanted contact to be instructed by this court that he has no recourse moving forward to hold me legally accountable for my harassment of him.”

      Unreal. BS’s obsession with our Gentle Host and his family is beyond disturbing. The state of Maryland should be ashamed they have not taken the legal steps to protect John from this stalking and abusive sociopath once and for all.

      • Blob, you dumb son of a bitch, you’re either suing or you’re not. Make your damn mind up and stop thinking that Mommy wears a black robe.

    • And in response to this comment he tweets this:

      And COURTS are part of the… a) government, b) anything else? Correct answer? A.

      And what does the subject of the tweet have to do with the comment? Correct answer? Nothing.

      He tells us to “Be gone” and “Shoo!”. The problem is that we’ve actually done that before. We left him completely alone for about a week, last summer I believe it was, and by the end of the week, he was tweeting and blogging up a storm about nothing except “Lickspittles!” and “Hoggy!”. He consistently proves that he wants nothing less than for us to leave him alone because without us to rail at he has NOTHING to do with the long hours between waking and going back to sleep. How’s that for pathetic?

      If he really wanted John to “leave him alone” he wouldn’t talk about keeping the right to post on John’s blog (which isn’t a right, since a blog is private property, like a lawn or a front porch) or to legally contact John, though why he’d want to do that if he wants John to leave him alone, I’d love to hear (without insults – I suspect he’s constitutionally incapable of explaining that without calling me stupid or dim).

      But to finish: I think we should do just what he asks. Leave him alone. Don’t comment here or any place public about him. See how long he goes before he starts tweeting @ mentions, or writing his disgusting so-called “satires”, or producing even nastier podcasts.

      I’d give it ten days, absolute tops. I’d actually be surprised if he made it six.

      • LG, for a “dim girl”, you’re pretty smart. Oh, noes, could BS actually be wrong about something? Unpossible!

        Cutting off all comments and replies is a great idea. But take it further. When the “pleasepleasePLEASE pay attention to meeee” whining starts, maintain radio silence. What torture it must be to have to live with the “black and dank and empty void of sullenness” that he has spent a lifetime creating.

        Let him stare into the abyss, look at what he has become and choke on it, in complete silence from those who have given him good advice and those he has abused. Good riddance.

  3. This clearly states his intention to continue to contact WJJH. Great exhibit for the PO appeals. Also, this is not a straightforward MTD – he is trying to get the court ostensibly to ok further contact so he can say, “see, they said it was ok!” What he’s doing is improperly combining a MTD with a motion for declaratory judgment. Cackling, no doubt, at his “cleverness.”

    • His dumbass interpretation of 1st amendment free speech is flatly incorrect. He has no ‘right’ to post or comment on someone else’s blog nor does he have the unilateral ‘right’ to contact someone for any means after being requested to no longer be contacted (Cease and Desist all contact) by the person in question.
      He thinks he can get the court to grant his dismissal and all this utter bullsh!t will be court-ordered for him to harass and contact anyone without consequences.

      • Considering how slowly the Md courts respond to motions, it is amazing how quickly they respond to a MTD from the plaintiff.

        I hope, Mr. Hoge, you are quickly preparing a counter motion to be submitted immediately after Blob’s motion is filed with the court (after comparing this Scribd version to the one filed of course). IANAL, but it is obvious that there are several things to include in this motion which will not be mentioned because we do not want to educate the monkey.

    • Note, also, the self-contradictory nature of claiming that the action has been filed in the wrong venue, and, then, immediately asking the Judge sitting in the wrong venue to issue declaratory judgment in his favor. Having realized his mistake, shouldn’t Bill Schmalfeldt being asking a Judge in Carroll County to wag his finger at John Hoge?

      • My faith and my family are mine, for which I am profoundly grateful. An anchor keeps you grounded where you want to be.

    • Of course he only sees/uses the potentially negative interpretation of “anchor”, ignoring that anchors are primarily to keep ships where they want to be, safe, and not drifting into dangerous waters.

      I guess Bill likes living dangerously. /snerk

      I also find Bill’s attitude towards anyone with a physical or mental disability to be absolutely disgusting. He loves playing the disabled card himself, and heaven forbid that someone make light of it, but he views disabilities in anyone else as weak spots to launch assaults against. And then he whines when people decide to use his own standards against him.

    • Actually, either can be compliment or otherwise, and which it is depends entirely on context.

      “Oh this kid is an anchor, dragging me down” vs. “My child is my anchor, keeping me steady despite everything.”

      Quoting out of context, when meaning is otherwise unclear, is the surest sign of a hack-job.

      • Frankly, I don’t care if he said that. Even at the best of times, people get to us. Things can seem unbearable. We all say stuff we come to regret. Throw in a disability, and it gets even harder.

      • I agree with both AJ and gmhowell. It can be taken both ways, and frankly it doesn’t matter if it was either way.

  4. ‘Having lost 371 times’ — uh, what? He didn’t LOSE, you blathering slack jawed junkslut, he declined to press charges on your sorry ass.

    I have to wonder if our host is regretting his kindness. A word to the wise is sufficient, but a fool needs a brick.

    • I doubt he regrets graciousness. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Once, you get to repent. Twice? Murum aries attigit.

    • Says the guy with 4 restraining orders (so far).

      Pro tip Willy: Waiting for a restraining order to expire does not make it a “win”.

    • I suppose it depends on how you define “win”. If it’s simply “I didn’t end up in jail!” than yeah, he wins a lot. But I don’t think there is a single other person in this country (and not a single one who is of sound mind), who thinks that having three outstanding peace/restraining orders (2 from AZ and 1 from IL) is exactly a stellar legal record.

  5. “Mommy, I’d like to surrender this battle I started. Would you please declare a draw and insist that everyone be nice to me?”

    That’s extra special even for you, Blob.

  6. This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
    For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
    without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: FROM SUCH TURN AWAY. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, ever learning, and NEVER ABLE TO COME TO THE KNOWLEDGE OF TRUTH.
    (2 Timothy 3:1-7)

  7. My eyes glazed over reading this… Does he deny he is a whale again?

    Also, does he realize he just doxxed himself?

  8. “Plaintiff filed in an incorrect venue…” and yet “…behavior by the Defendant may necessitate a refilling.”

    Seems someone is trying to have it both ways.

  9. He keeps using nolle prosequi like it is a vindication. It doesn’t mean that the alleged things didn’t occur. Plus the charges were nolle prosequi’d as a part of a settlement. Which he promptly broke.

  10. Bill realises that he’s at his personal best high water mark, and that it’s all downhill from here vis a vis Our Gentle Host. That said, I’m inclined to leave him be as far as further commenting from Hogewash, as I’d really,really, really like to see him leave John alone.

      • “He has no sense.”

        Nor any impulse control. Nor the ability to just shut his gob.

        It appears Biwwy got his fee-fees hurt by our Gentle Host stating he would wait to comment on BS’s “Motion to Dismiss” until it was officially filed with the court — so Biwwy is now carrying on that he MAY or MAY NOT file his “Motion to Dismiss.”

        Why would he so childishly overreact to such an innocuous comment?

        And, just how does he figure his butthurt is going to overcome his “Improper Venue” problem?

      • Ah, so he might yet charge headlong into a venue battle in which he knows he’s wrong, and he’s going to do so having posted an admission that he’s wrong (that is surely saved for posterity and the courts in our Gentle Host’s bit bucket, as well as in hard copy.) This is so very intimidating!


  11. “Undaunted, the defendant hurried from Westminster…” — paragraph 6, MTD

    Outside of the narration of the Batman TV show, where do you find writing like this? You’d think a world class investigative journalist would write better.

    As to the actual argument, I’m pretty sure it makes Schmalfeldt look bad. IANAL, but shouldn’t a Motion to Dismiss for Reason of Improper Venue be focused on um, venue?

    • What do you think is Cabin Boy’s average interval between thoughts related to the anus? Five seconds? Maybe ten?

      • Makes you wonder if he’s going to bend over and back into the courtroom. I wonder how low a rolly walker will go.

    • So John was reasoned, logical, and didn’t comment on something that hadn’t happened yet. A rational response. And Bill flips out over that. SMH. What does he want? For John to send him flowers and chocolates? Fat chance!

    • The Big BM has been reduced to insulting our Gracious Host and spitting “I’ll see you in court!” on the court of Twitter.

      • As part of his “Grady makes fun of my dead mother” (which just proves that his reading comprension is failing) he says that Gail is slipping away, refuses to go to the hospital, and just sleeps all day.

        I hope her remaining time is peaceful, but she certainly doesn’t sound like someone who would be taking anything to the post office.

        If she is this far gone, have they looked into home hospice? It would assist both of them.

      • Well there is that. His veracity is minimal on a good day.

        And what about the step-son? Has he made any comments about him lately? You’d think if the kid’s mother was that sick, he’d be doing more around the house, like maybe doing the shopping. Or has Bill’s behaviour gotten so bad that he moved out, in spite of his mother’s deteriorating health? There are times when you just have to go, no matter who you leave behind.

  12. Bill Schmalfeldtian desperation. Seeing the writing on the wall he vainly attempts to bargain and negotiate himself into a better situation, then when that doesn’t pan out he throws a tantrum like a toddler. What a schmuck.

  13. Let me see if I understand: Our host made a post that he was aware of the potential filing, stated that he didn’t want to make any comment until it was filed. Then, during a twitter rant, Schmalfeldt managed to not only talk himself out his filing, but got mad in the process and pitched a tantrum on his own blog?

    Am I to also understand, that out of the kindness of his heart, he was going to drop his “defamation” suit (while at the same time reserving his First Amendment right.. whatever that had to do with it) and BS expected John to say, “Oh thank you!” before he even filed it?

    Huh.. weird.

  14. It takes a lot of energy to be as stupid as the Cabin Boy.

    How do people become this vile, mean, nasty, vengeful, hateful and twisted?

    • It is in Bill Schmalfeldt’s book. Bill needs attention. Bill CRAVES attention. It’s utterly insane.

  15. Hmmm a picture that says – “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury THERE WAS NO PENETTRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I have been DEFAMED!!”

  16. “You are motivated by your hatred. And your hatred will be your downfall. As will your hubris. As will your stupidity.”

    Self-awareness fail-whale.

  17. Always, with the butt stuff.


    Cousin Bill, any invective loses its effectiveness if overused.

    And you’ve pretty much shown that your repertoire is limited to the butt stuff.

    So, either get some new invective, or just shut up and attended to your “beloved” in her death throes.

    Tacky bastard…

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