Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 10(b) states: “A party must state its claims or defenses in numbered paragraphs …” Here’s how The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin numbered the paragraphs in his Kimberlin v. Team Themis, et al. RICO2 Electric Boogaloo suit.

Unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, unnumbered, unnumbered, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129 ,130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141

popcorn4bkThe “reasoning” presented in those paragraphs is even more poorly organized that their numbering.

Meanwhile, the time to file an amended complaint without first seeking the court’s permission has passed. So has the time to file an opposition to my motion to dismiss the suit against me.

Tick, tock.

23 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Brett’s grasp of time is as tenuous as his understanding of sequential numbers. He’ll have an excuse for late filing.
    Rules don’t apply to the tiny pedoterrorist.

    • My reflex is to caveat your comment with “in his mind“, but I guess I might also need to add “Maryland and specifically the Greenbelt”. Time will tell.

  2. I’d have assumed that MS Word would have some kind of pre-formatting (including the numbering) specifically for legal documents. I’m guessing he instead types things up in Notepad.

    Perhaps the pedo pipsqueak is too cheap to buy a copy of Word. Or too dumb to figure out how to pirate a copy.

    [Embracing the power of “and” in 3, 2, 1….]

    • MS Word (at least the edition I use) will auto-number points for you if you start it as such (1, 2, etc). I think OpenOffice (a free open source version of MS Office) does it too.

      Tsk tsk. So sloppy on his part.

      • MS word is notoriously bad for getting numbering messed up if you change things or move them around.

        Some secretaries at the firm won’t let the attorneys edit a motion once they’ve formatted it.

  3. You should say, “Thank you for not filing a response to my Motion to Dismiss. I guess filing multiple lawsuits makes it difficult to keep up with the time limits on all the lawsuits. I am sure it was easier when you were locked up in prison and could focus on your lawfare.”

  4. In the spirit of good sportsmanship I’d offer Bill Schmalfeldt my unsolicited advice.

    First, forget you said, “For every dollar Kimberlin takes from Hoge, for every piece of property Kimberlin takes from Hoge, for every bit of suffering Kimberlin causes Hoge, I will smile. I will laugh. God forgive me, I want the man to suffer….” Try not to think about all the lickspittles who are going to be taking pleasure in every dollar the courts extract from you. That will just distract you. My second piece of advice is as follows: “you’re going to wind up being the Monica Lewinsky for his Bill Clinton unless you start telling the truth and start telling it quick. I’m done fucking around, and I am not going away. …Now, do you wanna play dumb and lose your kids? Or do you wanna play smart and keep what you got? I am not making any threats. I am just trying to help you avoid a shit storm for some giggling fuck who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you. Do you really want to be dragged through the mud for THIS giggling shitwit?” You might remember having issued that advice to someone else once in a different context. Maybe, you should consider following it yourself in the present circumstances . It would go a long ways towards showing you are attempting to rehabilitate yourself by getting on the right side of the law regarding what should be your former associates. Stacy McCain offered Brett Kimberlin the suggestion that he “plead insanity.” You might consider following his advice. If you can’t bring yourself to do that, may I suggest as an alternative that you just be yourself, don’t hold back, and state the truth, the truth and nothing but the truth as you see it. About five minutes into the trial everyone in the room, except yourself, is going to realize that you are guilty. It might take the judge longer than that to realize that you are a nutter so drag the proceeding out as long as you can. The judge just might consider incarcerating a nutter to be poor form. Finally, don’t set yourself up for a bitter disappointment. Your fantasies about catch John Hoge in a perjury trap, or ferreting out some vast conspiracy against you simply aren’t going to happen. The only thing that isn’t in doubt tomorrow is how the judge is going to deal with you. Focus on what you can change.

  5. I feel your pain. I have a pro-se plaintiff in a case with a Complaint containing 516 separate paragraphs and numbered as follows (with no indentation to offset what appear to be attempts at subparagraphs or block-quotes):

    Unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 1, 2, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, 1, a, b, c, d, unnumbered, e, f, g, h, unnumbered, unnumbered, i, 2, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, 3, a, 4, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, 5, a, b, 6, a, b, 7, a, 8, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, unnumbered, 9, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, 10, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, 11, unnumbered, 1, a, b, 2, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, 3, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, 4, a, b, c, 5, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, 6, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, 7, a, b, c, d, e, f, 8, a, b, c, d, e, 9, 1, 2, 3, 4, a, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, 5, 6, 7, unnumbered, 1, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, 2, 3, unnumbered, 1, a, b, c, d, e, unnumbered, unnumbered, 1, a, b, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, a, b, c, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, 1, 2, a, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, unnumbered, 1, ½-page unnumbered quotes, 2, ½-page unnumbered quotes, 3, ½-page unnumbered quotes, 4, 5, ½-page unnumbered quotes, 6, ½-page unnumbered quotes, 7, 8, 1, ½-page unnumbered quotes, 2, 3, unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, unnumbered, unnumbered, 1, 2, a, b, c, 3, a, b, 4, 5, unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, unnumbered, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, a, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, 12, 13, unnumbered, 1, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, unnumbered, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1, a, 1, 2, a, large block-quote, b, c, large block quote, 3, a, b, 6-paragraph block-quote, 4, a, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 1, 2, a, quoted material, b, quoted material, 3, 4, a, b, c, d, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, a, 12, 1, a, b, c, d, e, f, 2, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, 3, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, 4, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, 5, a, b, c, 6, 7, 1, a, b, c, d, 1, a, b, c, 1, a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, 2, 3, 1, 2, a, b, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3,

    I honestly do not understand the difficulty of sequential numbering. Scientists should study this because it seems to have a strong correlation to insanity.

  6. Or, and I’m thinking way out of the box here:

    You could write the document and then manually add a “1.” In front of the first paragraph, a “2.” in front of the second paragraph, et

    I know you must be wondering what to do for the third, fourth, and fifth paragraphs, but at some point even I have to give up too.

    Didn’t they have to form a queue in the prison cantina? Most prisoners can actually figure this out.

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