In Re a LOLsuit

A new lawsuit has appeared on PACER styled Kimberlin v. Hunton & Williams LLP, et al. The complaint isn’t posted yet, but it appears that The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin has decided to sue a long list of persons and entities who he believes are associated with Team Themis. There are 21 defendants, and I am listed among the et al. along with the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and Pacific Northwest National Laboratory. PNNL is a part of the U.S. Department of Energy.

I can’t make any further comment until I’ve seen the complaint. I’ll post it as soon as I can download it from PACER.

Stay tuned.

UPDATE—Here is the complaint.

There are 44 exhibits. I will post them after I have had a chance to redact personal information contained in them.

145 thoughts on “In Re a LOLsuit

      • ^^^^ THAT times 10^100 ^^^^

        I’ve given up or postponed many potentially hilarious comments and posts in sacrifice to the God of Don’t Educate the Monkey. The time will come, soon enough.

      • Too bad Kimberlin didn’t read about all the things he failed to do in the last suit before filing this one. Of course, he was told exactly what he did wrong last time and still failed to craft a proper complaint.

      • If/When Kimberlin does go back to prison, I am sure they are gonna love him there, seeing as he has now, in this lawsuit, copped to being an FBI snitch.

    • That’s the rule- loser pays a percentage of attorney’s fees- here in Alaska. The award goes from around 20% to the sky’s the limit. It is subject to being enhanced in cases of a litigant’s vexatious or otherwise sanctionable conduct during the course of the suit. BK would be up around 130% if he was in the courts up here- just kidding, but he would get hammered with a fee award here.

      • I’m just wondering out loud here – what kind of claim would the Delong family have on any settlements Kimberlin has received?

  1. Schmalfeldt’s been telegraphing this for a few days now, which goes to show how pathetic he is.

    Team Themis? Was Monsters, Inc. in the et als, too?

  2. For a family of four living off of $19,000 a year, Kimberlin certainly seems to have a lot of money for restricted mail, doesn’t he?

    Maybe he paid with a credit card.

    I slay me.

  3. Mr. Scruggs has not commented yet so let me point out that Judge Hazel has effectively been complicit in this by not dismissing the RICO suit. Justice delayed is justice denied.

  4. It would never occur to me to try to make a living as a professional LOLsuit pro se plaintiff.

  5. The “RICO Madness” graphic is taken from the “Reefer Madness” movie poster, I think.

    Reefer madness. That is what I think. Reefer madness.

  6. From Wikipedia:

    It has been reported that HBGary Federal was contracted by the U.S. government to develop astroturfing software which could create an “army” of multiple fake social media profiles.

    I guess TK doesn’t like competition.

  7. Stay tuned for the 2016 LOLsuit edition in which they sue: “William Hoge, Paul Krendler, Aaron Burr, that b$%^& Linda at Starbucks who always cheats me on the foam, the American Bar Association, and the 1983 New York Mets.”

  8. This steaming pile has been assigned to Judge Hazel, who just dismissed RICO Madness Part One. I confidently predict that Part Deuuuuuuuuuuux (pronounced Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh) will meet the same fate. Hopefully much faster this time, now that His Honor is well acquainted with the vexatious, vindictive plaintiff.

  9. For a moment there I was expecting to see Jason Bourne mentioned somewhere. I had even pulled out my Twizzlers.

    • Neal Rauhauser, I mean, BK, was inspired with this one: “Seeing stones … are communication and tracking tools that have the ability to see into the minds of enemies.”

  10. So most of the claims are based on emails obtained illegally with no clean chain of custody? And the Dread Pro Se forget/perjurer wants to go to court on their basis?

    “Your honor, all these claims come either from stolen or fabricated ’emails’. Further, the plaintiff has a history of perjury and just this year admitted to a court he fabricated a court document. The sole connection of one of the defandants is the plaintiff’s publicly declared intent to drag him into court continuously for the rest of his life. We request that you not indulge this paranoid fantasy any further, dismiss this suit with prejudice and declare the plaintiff a vexatious litigant.”

    • That doesn’t necessarily doom the case. The pleadings are just stating the harm that the Plaintiff suffered and the actions of the Defendants that caused that harm. Discovery is the point at which these allegations will come to light.

      Although, as stated in other threads, discovery is a two-way street. The Plaintiff gets to see the Defendants files to prove his claims (although since many of these are based on privileged attorney-client communications, he won’t), and the Defendants get to see the Plaintiff’s files to contest the Plaintiff’s allegations.

      Given his choice of defendants, the Plaintiff made a mistake, and had better hope this doesn’t survive to discovery.

      • No.

        Discovery is a one way street when a true villain abuses the system versus a law respecting victim. If the villain dares the courts to force him to comply with discovery, by lying and refusing basically everything, and never revealing anything useful, what is the law respecting victim to do? They must comply with discovery anyway, and beg the court to give a crap.

        But the court will just dismiss the case a year later and consider the matter closed. The injustice stacks on so many others, and the campaign of endless lawfare is totally successful.

  11. Ah. I see it pays to scroll down on this blog. Added to a lolsuit right after being dismissed from another. Some people might consider this as being somewhat vexatious

    I wonder if there is some sort of legal remedy available.

  12. How many pages in the Team Themis playbook? What color is its binding? Is it perfect bound or in a binder? Questions that this raises.

  13. I lost my breath laughing as the crazee built. He’s nuts. BK is Walter Keane level effing nuts, (only not as harmless.) I think prepper cottage may be a little too airtight for the amount of loco weed inhaled behind those bank vault doors, even if it’s just the guy with the prescription smoking it.

    • Can you imagine how that will work. They’ll have one of their best at the desk, along with twenty interns each being charged at $1000/hr.

      Remind me, do bankrupts have their parole revoked?

  14. Tempted to show up at he de novo peace hearing, and slip,into the back of the courtroom as it gets underway, wearing a black suit, and a “hearing aid” that requires constant adjustment. At breaks disappear into the hallway to confer with strategically placed “bystanders near the vending machines” making cracks about hobbits. And the end of proceeding step into a large tan SUV with gov plates, tinted windows and an #RVA sticker.

  15. So we have now learned that Brett Kimberlin is crazier than Bill Schmalfeldt.

    Rarefied air indeed.

  16. I won’t say a lot, but i will make this point. It can’t help Brett fighting a claim that he is a vexatious litigant when the judge dismisses this suit, only to have another pop up, involving one party in common, and clearly involving some of the same events (his false accusation that i beat Brett up).

      • You explained it yourself, Dianna. He’s nuts. He’s obviously semi functional and quite devious. But he’s a bundle of paranoia and grandiosity.

      • I expect he does not name Aaron because he is collaterally estopped from making this claim agains Aaron and doubts Hoge has standing or the others know about it.

        If his claims of Team THEMIS are remotely accurate (cough) then, well, THEY KNOW. I have no opinion about Hoge’s standing to state the facts of the case, but he can certainly submit trial transcripts and the video of the “assault.”

      • I don’t understand how he thinks he can sue for damages to the 501(c)(3)s. I’m not reading the entire screed, but none of the claimed damages are really to him.

      • He realizes he isn’t convincing anyone. He has no intention of winning.

        He is following through on this promise of endless harassment via lawfare. He will make nasty claims because he can, forever. If a court ever actually stops him (and dismissing a case is not stopping him) then there is no real justice.

        Sorry to be a downer.

      • Dr. Mike,

        Brett doesn’t name me as a Defendant bc he’s figuring out I hurt his case every time he drags me to court.

      • Yes, Aaron, so instead he sued 800 lawyers who will have collectively sufficient time on their hands to do the same.

    • I would seriously get a belt made with a giant buckle that reads “Court Champion, Brett Kimberlin is my BITCH” and wear it to every hearing.

    • TDPK: “I’m suing these guys because they caused me to get beat up by some guy.”

      Court: “Did you sue the guy who beat you up?”

      TDPK: “Yes, but the court found that he didn’t actually beat me up.”

  17. So if I have this straight, there’s all this Team THEMIS bullshit, and this guy Hoge who did forensic examination of the photos I took when I had a tea towel on my head and was stalking his friend’s wife. And the only thing they have in common is Hoge googled me when I came to his attention.

    Oh, and I’m on record in the news media with declaring I would tie him up in lawsuits for the rest of his life.

    There are times when “Oh, FFS” does not cover it.

  18. My take he is butt-hurt because they investigated him when they became aware that he was investigating them.

  19. If anyone was even mildly curious what was being discussed in the starbucks next to the occupy wall street encampment, they thoughtfully documented it for us

  20. I am speechless. I have no words to describe how awful this suit is. I’m not a lawyer and I can point to paragraph after paragraph that can be tossed without much effort at all. Hell, this reads like something Schmalfeldt would have written.

      • Pffft. The college kid I mentor writes better and he’s a millennial! Can’t speak a coherent sentence in proper English, texts that need a translator but when writing papers for school, OH MY! The kid makes Bill, with 40 years in journimalism, a stuttering fool. Elegant prose, beautiful and illustrative vocabulary and proper grammar and punctuation.
        The spell check program makes sighs and puts hearts on his reports …

  21. Well John, does the playbook have 8×10 color glossies with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back explaining each one?
    Will Judge Hazel give Brett lots of leeway to introduce factless facts and forged subpoenas and proof of service green cards in this case too?

  22. He’s suing you for state law butthurt claims again, John. Same old garbage re-wrapped in fresh newspaper. Judge Hazel is on to him. I see a motion to dismiss in your future, more speedily granted this time around.

    Oh, and as for the complaint in general… Brett is nuckin futs. Certified. Nuckin. Futs. This will not end well for him.

  23. Up until now I had just thought he was simply a vile manipulative narcissist with a level of cunning. He can’t think this “Themis” conspiracy will fool anyone can he, unless he actually believes it? I’m going to have to add ‘unbalanced paranoid’ to the list.

  24. I wonder whether Judge Hazel saw this come over the transom and asked to have it assigned to him. Hmmm.

  25. Wow, so it has been a busy day here. I spent an hour or longer reading over the dismissal (twice) and I kept seeing referenced to Rico2. Had no idea this was posted today. Wow.

    Well, considering the court has already ruled that Rico1 was a festival of fail for Brett, and the Rico allegations contained in Rico2 are, in essence, a cut and paste job, it stands to reason the rational which lead to the dismissal in Rico 1 should lead to the dismissal in Rico2. After that, there are only state law claims and no diversity, again, which should make for a relatively quick decision for Judge Hazel.

    If I were drafting a motion to dismiss, I would plagiarize heavily from the Court’s ruling in Rico1. Literally, copy it almost verbatim. I would probably reference that this case is almost exactly like Rico1, and therefore I am borrowing heavily from the Court’s ruling in that case in the motion (so as to explain/justify the word for word copying).

    Good luck John.

    • Esodia –

      Don’t forget the judge in the dismissal (Judge Hazel) has also been assigned to the RICO 2 case. Coincidentally.

      Hilarity will ensue.

  26. RICO 2: Electric Boogaloo?

    Meet the new suit, same as the old suit. Only the other 20 names are different.

    If at first you don’t succeed, try suing the shit out of someone else. Maybe, just maybe the judge will fall for it. /sarc off

  27. No better way to become a vexatious litigant than:
    File another LOL suit when ends up with Judge Hazel the day before he dismisses the previous LOL suit.
    Sue rich defendants like the Williams & Holland, LLC, Chamber of Commerce, and HB Gary who can spend bucks to catalog all the prior frivolous lawsuits as an exhibit to their motions to dismiss.

  28. I finally got through this late last night. Wow.

    I wasn’t sure that it was possible, but Kimberlin managed to present an even weaker case (at least against you) than RICO Madness, of which the underlying causes of action have now been dismissed twice. On the other hand, he managed to get through 62 pages without using the phrase “false narrative” once.

    The case against you shouldn’t survive even a poorly written motion to dismiss with prejudice (such as a single sheet of paper with “WTF” scrawled on it with crayon), and I believe that Judge Hazel will be much more accommodating when it comes to sanctions. That’s particularly true since Brett filed it with RICO Madness still on the docket.

    It’s fun to compare and contrast the litigation styles of Kimberlin and Schmalfeldt, though. Brett constructs an elaborate hallucination worthy of Kafka on speed, whereas William just shoves as much stupid into a few dozen pages as he can. Yet the results for both are always the same.

  29. Hoge motion to dismiss, part 1:

    “The federal courts have traditionally adhered to the related doctrines of res judicata [claim preclusion] and collateral estoppel [issue preclusion]. Under res judicata, a final judgment on the merits of an action precludes the parties … from relitigating issues that were or could have been raised in that action. Under collateral estoppel, once a court has decided an issue of fact or law necessary to its judgment, that decision may preclude relitigation of the issue in a suit on a different cause of action involving a party to the first case.”

    These legal principles apparently are not taught at the Acme law school.

  30. TDPK has made a very very stupid mistake with this mess of a complaint. And its not the choice of defendants that I am referring to (although suing the Federal government while bragging about FBI contacts is pretty dumb move by a violent felon).

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