Peace Order Evidence

The Cabin Boy™ has been running off at the keyboard for months about how I “lied” in evidence presented in support of my most recent peace order petition. Here is the DMCA notice I received from WordPress.

Here are some of the contacts he made, in this case, 21 attempts at blog comments.

Other evidence supported the petition as well, but it is better shared with law enforcement than on the Internet.

186 thoughts on “Peace Order Evidence

  1. Extortion? Words of an advocate for the ill and disabled?

    “And I’d better see alegally signed document between you and Krendler tuit suite [sic] or else you are going to have other difficulties that might wind up with your old, heart-diseased ass in jail.”

  2. Holy smokes, that’s a lot of typing in very short order for a guy who claims he can’t open the mail and makes his wife open packages of horse manure for him.

    • I’ve always wondered that. It takes more dexterity to type (and we know he uses Apple products, so no Swype for him there) at the speed that he does than it takes to open a letter with a letter opener. He is full of the fecal matter he is so obsessed with. I’m surprised he didn’t send himself more tubs-o-poo just so that he could be upset about it in public. Again.

      We are witnessing true performance art, people! Performance art of the deranged!

  3. Oopsie poopsie!

    I will admit to missing the retarded threats about “the Russians kicking in your door.” That was hysterical.

    I’m sure that William’s imaginary cop will enjoy reading all of his barking madness. It should make a solid impression.

  4. Gosh, as I re-read those contacts I am struck by the blatantly extortionate content within them. It makes me wonder if someone is either addicted to flailing about or if he really and truly believes that if he insists upon something it will be so. And it makes me wonder if he ever truly grew out of the toddler phase. Unfortunately I think we all know the answer. Such a pity.

  5. It also appears that William was lying about having weeded out the NASA copyrights that he didn’t own. And since he started claiming that immediately, the odds aren’t good that he “forgot.”

    Aren’t lunatics usually smarter than this?

    • I don’t know, since this is my first ever encounter with an actual lunatic. I’m more familiar with the garden variety of “lunitard” that is just someone who is only a lunatic when the moon is full.

    • He keeps flailing about, tweeting that we should believe our own eyes. I do. In my opinion, his letter to wordpress gave the impression he owned those copyrights.

    • Poor William. And he just threatened me with a counter-claim that U.S courts wouldn’t have jurisdiction over in the first place. And it turns out that his entire, hysterical copyright counterclaim (which remains one of the five funniest things I’ve ever read) would have been dismissed on sight.

      • To clarify, 17 USC 512(f) allows a separate cause of action for the alleged infringer for misrepresentation in a DMCA takedown request. This allows for damages, costs, and attorney fees. This is separate from the court’s power to punish the perjurious statement.

        FRCP 13(b) allows that claims not arising out of the same transaction or occurrence as the opposing party’s claim may be filed against the opposing party.

        Such a counterclaim would, however, lock in federal subject matter jurisdiction.

        Plus, there’s that old saying about blood and stones.

  6. Funny how close the sentence structure matches the letter in the hands of the judge

    I mean with his keen sense of boundaries……………….

    I was proud that he didn’t use any pornographic content, on the other hand, it shows that when he does its not a reflexive but a decisive act on his part, wonder how that’s going to play

    • “Funny how close the sentence structure matches the letter in the hands of the judge.”

      That’s because he wrote it and had his captive nurse mail it. No big mystery.

    • What, you mean that the letter that he SWEARSIES HE DIDN”T WRITE !!!ELEVENTY!! has sentence structures that match other things that he’s written? You don’t say?

      As a writer, I know how hard it is to change your writing style, especially when you are emotional. You slip back into your usual habits, your chronic mistakes, your typical phraseologies. Somebody is going to have to try harder to get us to believe that someone other than him wrote that letter. And the signature! Oh, the signature. It closely matches SEVERAL of his own signatures. At least those before he desperately started trying to change his signature in order to make one look like a forgery. Sigh. The fail, the flail. It’s just awful. So, so sorry Bill.

  7. No wonder Witless Willie did not bother to show up for the hearing back in August (?). The evidence was overwhelming. And now he has doubled down by asserting to a federal court that Hoge lied to the state court. The same evidence he feared last year will be used against him this year ALL OVER AGAIN. I suspect we shall now be treated to an inane explication of double jeopardy; get those LULZ muscles well stretched.

    • Several people warned Bill that he didn’t think this out very well. And he was going to do nothing more than get himself in just more trouble. But that didn’t stop him.

      • The only reason to warn young William about anything is to watch him try to prove that he’s right and the rest of the world is wrong.

        Even after two and a half years, it still makes me smile.

    • Even assuming Hoge lied to the state court to get his injunction against the Cabin Boy’s harassment, he can’t relitigate the issue. Congress has made this clear in 28 USC 1738. Federal courts have to give full faith & credit to the decisions of state courts.

      Schmalfeldt’s remedy was to appeal the order to the state appellate court, not to seek redress with a federal court.

  8. “In the meantime, although I can’t sue you for your commenters, I certainly can enter the comments into evidence in my counterclaim to show you for what you are and how you are not willing to moderate your comments to keep your blog free of libel. Then, I can put you through the time-comsuming and expensive, pain-staking process of identifying each commenter so I can bring actions against them. So think of it this way. Each defamatory, libelous comment is money out of your bank account.” (Bill Schmalfeldt — Extortioner Extraordinaire)

    I so enjoy revisiting the Impotent Imbecile’s threats and predictions of DOOOOOM. It truly warms the cockles of my heart.

  9. Poor Billy runs to hide behind his wife’s skirts yet again. What a coward. What a maroon. Say Bill, what did you do with all that money you collected for the “defamatory” comments? Bwahahahahahaha. The Flailure indeed.

  10. – multiple court orders from multiple states
    – contempt of court
    – misrepresentations in a federal LOL suit
    – WINNING!

  11. I simply cannot understand how a chronologically adult man can assert things that he must know can easily be contradicted by documentary evidence. Witless Willie says Hoge lied about being contacted; Hoge responds by providing screen caps of the contacts. And of course a court has already rendered judgment against the Feckless Fool of Eldridge. Nevertheless the Laughable Lackwit submits those assertions of lying under penalty of perjury. Of course, he probably will not be prosecuted, but it sure opens up the door to sanctions. “Witless” does not begin to describe his behavior. A superlative is needed, but “witlessest” does not sound right. Maybe “witless to the williest” has the right sound and maintains consonance. I need some help here.

  12. HOGE IS GOD!
    Be on notice that I will vigorously attempt to subpoena the identity of each and every libelous, defamatory comment and drawing. Clear?
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    2:14 PM – 11 Feb 2015

    Please note the “attempt”, which itself will be impossible, given that the lulzsuit is going down the toilet.

    I guess the Cabin Boy isn’t as honored by Everybody Draw Bill Schmalfeldt Day as he suggested that he might be.

    I knew I should have learned Photoshop years ago. But I’ll post ideas for anyone that wants them both here and at Hogewash. Friday the 13th will be Funday!

    • Here’s an example.

      William outside of a locked police station, wearing nothing but a diaper and screaming “Hoge lied again, officers!” whist waving about his rattle.

      • I can’t ever remember the threats not making things worse, but he keeps making them.

        Why I think there’s a clinical term for that.

    • Why would the idiot need to subpoena the identity of a comment or a drawing? Are not the identities of those inanimate objects already self-evident?

      It’s almost as good as announcing that he would subpoena the ISP address for each commenter. Last time I checked most of these companies have web pages with contact information right there on the front page of their sites.

    • Extortionate statements like these against me, as a commenter and contributor expressing my opinion (which is protected speech) in an attempt to cause me to do what I would normally do, threats of legal action are a felony in the state of Florida. I have forwarded copies of Bill’s extortion attempts to the State Attorney’s office for Pinellas/Pasco county with a statement that I fear to engage in a lawful activity because Mr Schmalfeldt threatens me with legal action, subpoenas and jail.
      Expect a knock on your flimsy trailer door in about the 1st of March Bill. I hope you can fly in shackles,
      Florida doesn’t screw around. Nor flail about uselessly.

      • Damn. And here I was thinking a bit, ‘What could I do that would really be nasty?’.

        I was thinking of assembling a dossier of the schmuck’s rantings and behavior, and submitting it to 8chan’s /cow/ board. They LOVE guys like Bill who bluster and threaten without any actual competence at it.

      • Oopsie Poopsie.

        Big, dumb, dump dopes be dumb, dumb, dumb.

        As unhinged as Blob has become, and the way he continually and relentlessly doubles down on stupid, it’s almost as if the idiot won’t be happy until he is jailed.


        • And Florida will do it. They will travel to Elkridge, place him in cuffs and leg shackles and fly him here. He’ll be charged and arraigned the next day and as a non-resident he will not be granted bail. Typical time to resolution in Pinellas County: 10 months. All credited towards his sentence of course. They have a nice prison hospital ward at Starke. Too bad there is no air conditioning there … or televisions or radios. Just the lifers without parole, the sickies and Death Row.

  13. Schmalfeldt has one remaining course of action he can try – plead insanity. It would most likely work.

  14. HOGE IS GOD! @weltschmerz2015 · 47m 47 minutes ago
    …before you post your next defamatory lie or before participating in Everybody Draw Bill Schmalfeldt Day, think about how…

    Oh, O Rotund One, now photoshopping people is “libel”? You REALLY need to contact your buddies at AVVO and have them clue you in on some pertinent definitions.

      • I am every bit as much of a reporter as Blob is. My particular beat was cops and courts and the city. This was after I was the lifestyles writer and editor. Oh wait. that makes me MORE of a reporter than he ever was, even though we are both “retired” from the profession.

        If he can do it to others, I can do it to him and he can suck it.

  15. After getting through the seven proxy’s I’m behind it will be embarrassing for the old, overweight white male to face the sweet, svelte Zambian lesbian princess that I am in court. Pages and pages of his hate speech about blacks, gays, Zambian video game goddesses will be laid before the court. The years of his frustrations and impotence laid bare and ON THE RECORD.

    There sit I in regal native splendor. There sits he like a dumpy potato.

    Who will the court have sympathy for? Ha! The court? I can only imagine how many African Americans my lawyers can pack in the jury box. I’m sure they will care what your sputtering argument will be when they see your racist, misogynistic hatred for a beautiful ebony princess.

    And Yes. My lawyers. Because I have MORE THAN enough disposable income to retain lawyers. Bang away uselessly at your keyboard fighting a pro se battle. While you work yourway up to a heart attack from your self-induced stress I don’t even have to break a sweat — just sign a check.

    While you struggle to patch together coherent thoughts (never mind legal arguments) my LAWYERS will do my work for me. I’m sure they will have countered everything your pro se impotence has thrown at them by the time they are done brushing their teeth int he morning.

    The greatest single outcome to hauling me in court is having your own words of racism, misogyny, sexism and sexual defamation on the record The second greatest thing will be seeing you crushed in court and declared vexatious. And the third greatest thing will be the counter suits I WILL bring against you.

    If you think life is rough now on $24,000 a year I will assure you it can be even rougher. And there is at least 25,000+ pages of your hate writing to enter in to the record. Your reputation is already destroyed — I will just be salting the earth.

    As the saying goes in my native Zambia “Come at me, bro.”

      • You have no idea what a relief it is to know that I’m not the Zambian lesbian gamer here. Suddenly, I don’t feel so .. alone, anymore!

      • Maybe connect right into his router. “Oh what the cable is doing here? Connect to computer used by strange man. His browser say Look comment field prefilled with name of online enemy! If only I can find him!”

      • One ping is enough.


        Bai bai la.

    • I will have to consult my lawyers to see if it’s possible…. but I would LOVE to drag his ex-wives and all six of his children in to court in order to ensure we know JUST WHAT KIND OF MAN HE IS. Imagine how HAPPY they will be to see dear old dad again. And the stories they could tell.

      You know…. for ACCURACY.

      I would also love to have Gail up there explaining what life is like at casa de Schmalfeldt. Just so we know WHAT KIND OF MAN HE IS.

      I am sure my LAWYERS can make it happen because they are paid to bring me scalps, Bill. They are not pro se hobby litigators googling away for legal justifications and hoping it sticks. I will tell them to bring me the pelt of the fat rhinoceros and they will do it. They want MONEY for the blood they will spill in court and I will HAPPILY PAY THEM THEIR FEES.

      All of it Bill…. I want ALL OF IT on the record. FOREVER. And EVER. AND EVER!

    • For what, precisely, are we to be “turned over”?

      Here’s the thing, Sparky: Unwanted contact is unwanted contact. Hoge never lied. He merely demonstrated what an unhinged, deranged, petty, nasty harassing ass you are. The point of the Take Down notice is not merely that you somehow couldn’t figure out that NASA photos are not your personal property, but that (pay attention, here, Sparky, I know it’s hard, but – as you love to say – focus!) YOU USED A THIRD PARTY TO CONTACT MR. HOGE FOR HARASSMENT, NOT A LEGITIMATE PURPOSE!

      The business with posting comments that are not going to be published to various threads on Hogewash!? THAT IS UNWANTED CONTACT.

      Now, I can state my opinion that you are a vile, petty, disgusting, anally fixated thug and bully, to say nothing of an utterly incompetent “investigator” of matters that are clearly none of your affair. I can say that I don’t believe your denial of sending that extortionate letter. None of the above is either false, nor is it libel. But, please, feel free to suffer extreme anger. Pound your keyboard and throw things and spew spittle-flecked invective at your monitor.

      I wish you joy of it all. You are a poltroon, a fool, a pathetic joke and a disgrace to trailer park inhabitants.

    • I would have to note that if Word Press didn’t “spend a dime” to protect the privacy of their clients they would soon find out that they have few clients. As a business decion, their only rational course is to challenge such requests in court.

  16. Here’s another idea for EDBSD;

    The Cabin Boy a his card-table computer desk, with his usual psychotic and faux-menacing scowl on his jowls.

    The title? “Everybody Loved Bobber Better.”

    • Perhaps he could be wearing a shirt and hat that reads “Deranged Cyberstalker”,rather than his name.

      Or, “It’s a Deranged Cyberstalker Thing, You Wouldn’t Understand!”

  17. The Cabin Boy on the floor of the Maryland legislature, giving a speech about useless adults being “bullied.” Also wearing a diaper, with Kimberlin in one of those baby backpack things.

  18. William storming the beaches of Lebanon and putting bandages on the bodies he’s pulling out of buildings.

  19. Instead of “My Three Sons”, somebody could do “My Three Wives”, with Bill looking confused in the foreground, with an orgy scene from Caligula in the background.

    The possibilities are truly endless!

  20. For those interested in bringing Neal’s or their own ideas to life, but don’t use photoshop, I’ve heard (don’t know), that offers free, easy to use editing tools to all who open a free account. They also have a ton of graphics available – that’s where I get almost all of the smileys, gifs, etc. that I post. And those are available even without a free account.

  21. my vision is a side view of a naked Buda sitting in the classic thinking mans pose, instead of the side view of the commode – it will be a side view of a laptop, on top of a commode with the title
    “Another Quality Piece On Its Way” by William Schmalfeldt

  22. For those of you participating in the drawing fun, please be careful about where you host you picture (I’m not sure how the pics are being hosted). Don’t post it to a site that has your personal information. Probably best if you ask first.

    And the host(s) of this website would do well to make that warning available on the website.

      • Dear Lickspittles,
        I want to share a rare medical condition that I have. It is known as “ingrown toenail,” and affects only 95% of the world’s population, making it very rare. In some unusual cases which, of course, I have, this results in a sore toe or death, but usually a sore toe. Nevertheless, one can never be too careful.

      • Guess what? My perfectly healthy sister has the same condition — confirmed by multiple physicians at the research lab where she works (they were calibrating equipment).

        It’s also a side effect of a number of blood pressure medications, including the one I’m on.

        So you have a common and harmless condition, Cabin Boy.

      • Orthostatic Hypotension. Does that mean reduced blood flow to the brain? Could explain a lot of his behaviors.

      • “It’s also a side effect of a number of blood pressure medications, including the one I’m on.”

        Exactly, Rob. Hubby experiences the same side effect from his blood pressure medication. Tis aggravating for him at times, I’m sure. But, would I know? Not really — because my hubby is not a pathetic pansy and drama queen like Blob.

        Can anyone imagine the incessant whining and bitching fellow residents of that tincan must endure?

        Good grief.

      • Maybe, if Bill Schmalfeldt stood up more, and sat on his ass typing hateful comments less, ate better, and lost ten stones of weight he could cope with that momentary fluctuation in blood pressure like the rest of folks do.

        If any of readers here are about eighteen, and don’t suffer this fate may I suggest that the air force might be very interested in your services.

    • Alas I regret to inform you all that I have an ingrown hair. I fear it shall be fatal in about 50 years or so. Woe is me.

  23. “Oh no, I’m dizzy. It’s finally come to this, the Lickspittles are KILLING ME! I’m a goner this time, for sure. Hoge and Krendler have finally hounded me TO MY GRAVE! But I die a martyr to a just a just cause.

    @sub_aetha, @Harada_no_hime; If I don’t make it, please tell Gail that I love her. I know that she’s only seven feet away, but if I start to weep in my death rattle, she’ll yell at me.”

    Oh God, is this how Fred Sanford felt?”

  24. I love how Willy suffers from all the nebulous symptoms of PD, but not the show stoppers like severe tremors or inablility to talk. No, Bill suffers from difficulty walking, sensitivity to cold and dizzyness when standing. You know what else causes those symptoms Willy? OBESITY.

    Put down the freaking donut, get up off you ass and lose some weight before you complain about you terrible symptoms. You’ll get no sympathy here.

  25. HOGE IS GOD! @weltschmerz2015
    Wonderful. I’ve developed Orthostatic Hypotension. Blood pressure plummets when standing,
    HOGE IS GOD! @weltschmerz2015
    This has been going on for about a week. Dizziness when standing, resolving fairly quickly. PD affecting the autonomic nervous system.

    Bill may be having hallucinations of his dead mother crawling up his leg with a bloody knife in her teeth trying to shut him up.

    • Here is a link to the Parkinson’s Disease Foundation’s page on dealing with Orthostatic Hypertension.

      I particularly like the third of the tips for avoiding orthostatic hypertension:

      Exercise gently and regularly — and avoid long periods of inactivity.

      Gee, maybe a certain someone in an Eldritch Trailer Park should spend time outside of his trailer or at least moving around said trailer rather than sitting glued to his computer for hours on end to see if someone has said something that he can work up offense over?

      Nowhere on that page to they suggest that orthostatic hypertension can lead directly to death in PD patients. NOWHERE. I guess we’re to believe that the PDF is lying to everyone.

      • “Gee, maybe a certain someone in an Eldritch Trailer Park should spend time outside of his trailer or at least moving around said trailer rather than sitting glued to his computer for hours on end to see if someone has said something that he can work up offense over?”

        But it’s cold outside. BRRRRR!

      • Well, it is an Eldritch trailer park, so I guess it would be colder than usual.

        However, I’m sure if said park denizen believed that he would get to watch Hoge led off in handcuffs, he’d brave an Iowa winter blizzard, temps of -20F (-70F including the windchill factor) and sideways snow and ice, without a second thought.

  26. For a supposed “Lord of Satire,” he sure doesn’t appreciate satire at his expense. Or even the prospect of satire at his expense. What a clown. I’d do a photoshop of him as a clown, but it would be LIBEL and SLANDEROUS. And I know the possible retribution is serious. I read about the endless litigation produced from every satirical photoshop on the internet. This is ENFORCEABLE and we better imagine how much it will COST us in blood and treasure to fend off the LOLsuit.

    Though to be fair, the last thing I’d want is for him to be coming after me. I mean, that obese and dizzy individual could fall and crack the ground under me from 10 paces.

  27. Bill wants to play f*ck f*ck games we’ll play f*ck f*ck games.

    I love FOIA Bill.. and do you know why? Because it gives me public information. Public information I can use against you.

    You see, Lefties like you think Alinsky wrote his rules only for you guys. But that set of brass knuckles works just as good, if not better, in the Right hand as it does the Left. As Glenn Reynolds says…. punch back twice as hard.

    So now I’m going to be digging hard for info. And I’m good at digging Bill.

    Starting with your divorce records. And then having a nice conversation with your ex-wives just so I get the WHOLE story on what wrong with your marriages. Maybe there is something juicy in there… that you never want to see made public. But darn it Bill… we NEED to know what kind of MAN you are. And they are PUBLIC records. So those are my first target.

    Maybe your finances also. I already told you I have LAWYERS Bill. Guy who went to school and passed the bar. Not pro se weasels that filed suits from behind bars because they had nothing better to do for 51+ years. So I’m going after those too.

    I already know where you have worked for the past 40+ years. I will track down every boss you had and every co-worker you knew just so I can find out how many…. off color jokes you made. And I will find out WHY your employment was terminated so quickly each and every single time. It ought to make for fascinating research.

    I already sent off for your NIH and USDA/FSA records Bill. Like I said…. it should be sweet reading.

    And your military records are not secret Bill. Nor are the FOIA’d Navy historical records. And we have already seen how you QUAKED at the thought of THOSE getting out. Bill you are going to be a bowl of jelly in a Baja 1000 buggy soon enough.

    It’s a big, ugly iron fist that is coming down, Bill. And it’s ALL PUBLIC INFORMATION. All of it. No matter how much you cry about defamation and libel the TRUTH will be MY absolute defense. I will speak the truth of what I find Bill. I will package it in a net little .pdf and share it with the world. And once it is out there…. every sordid detail of what you have done, every crummy word, every foul action that drove your family away and cost you jobs… it will be FOREVER.

    No amount of vexatious lawsuits will erase the internet Bill.

    It’s FOREVER.


    • If I remember correctly, Witless Willie has implied that saying he is a wife beater is defamatory (although I do not believe any reasonable person would take what a zombie says as a statement of fact). And the Laughable Lackwit has failed to specify in his most recent complaint what is defamatory. Consequently, getting a subpoena (assuming one is even needed) to question his former wives about whether his misogyny went so far as physical abuse seems completely legitimate.

      • Provided everyone understands that, if the ladies in question do not wish to talk to anyone about their past relationship with the Deranged/Demented Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt, no one will bother them further, I am completely on board with that.

    • Not that he doesn’t deserve it but that post sounds like it should have ended in a Mwah-Ha-Ha-Ha!!!!

  28. Did you intentionally not redact CBBS’s address in the scribd documents attached here? In the past, you have been remarkably consistent in redacting his PII so I wonder if you did so unintentionally in this case.

    • I really hate to do this, because, well..I don’t like to be mean. .

      For some reason, in bureaucracies, they send out lots and lots of really cheap and tacky “commendations” and “awards”. Lucite blocks in various shapes (curved was popular back in the ’90’s, don’t ask me why, I haven’t the foggiest), and those awful wood plaques are the mass-production equivalent of the participation ribbon given out for T-Ball players.

      As to the framed, mostly empty space whatever that is (certificate of some sort?), I see so many of those at school donor events that I winced a little.

      These are, clearly, treasured by the Demented Cyberstalker.

      I am cringing on his behalf.

  29. HOGE IS GOD! @weltschmerz2015 · 7m 7 minutes ago
    Those were the good days.

    No they weren’t Bill, you’ve been a loser your whole life. You had no “good days”.

      • Now, now!

        I have a little wooden bowling pin, commemorating the extraordinary moment when I picked up a 7-10 split. I’ve never done it again, so I’m happy to have it.

        However, that actually *was* an accomplishment, and it’s not so much that I’m proud of it, as I enjoy the sheer quirkiness of the event.

        Bill, though? I fear he’s proud of his participation trophies.

  30. Bill, is going to have to explain at any court hearing the dozens of fail doxes and stalking of people online as well… as soon as you get a hint of info on someone, even if it is wrong, off to the google and trying to dox them online right Bill?

    The obsessive watching of this and other websites Bill? The evidence folders you collect on people? The relentless hounding of them online. Yes Bill lets make sure it ALL GETS OUT THERE.

    All of it Bill!

    One person with multiple restraining/peace orders in multiple states for harassment.

    The other who speaks the truth on you.

    Yes LET US SEE!

    Giddy up!

  31. In advance of EverybodyDrawBill day, Bill was asked a very good question on twitter that he completely ignored, so I’ll take the liberty of reposting it here:

    Was it defamatory for you when you photo shopped an innocent woman onto a cactus penis?


      • And he gets very quiet when he gets a question that too embarrassing to answer. Pretty impressive from a guy who doesn’t find it too embarrassing to post him posing with all his NIH participation “awards”.


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