In order to get a subpoena prior to discovery, he will have to comply with the requirements in Independent Newspapers, Inc. v. Brodie, 407 Md. 415 (2009). He will have to make a prima facie case of defamation for each individual about whom he seeks information. Because he is suing in a federal court with tighter pleading standards than a Maryland state court, he will have to plead with particularity, and I will only provide information that the court specifically orders given. He won’t get thousands of IP address unless he specifically asks for that many one by one.
Of course, that presumes that his case survives. If the court takes note of the fact that he has admitted in his Application for pauper status that he has more income (almost 2X the federal poverty level for a family of two) than is allowed, the case will be kicked out. If he’s allowed to proceed in forma pauperis, the LOLsuit must then be screened for frivolousness, maliciousness, and failure to state a claim. Let’s pretend that it gets past that screening; there will still be motions to dismiss. If the LOLsuit makes it over that hurdle, the Cabin Boy™ can then file a discovery interrogatory. He will then find that discovery may not be as open-ended as he thinks. He will also find that it’s a two-way street.
The Gentle Reader should not worry about any of this. I only log the IP addresses of the Insightful Commenters who contribute to Hogewash!—and the Ill-mannered Harassers who attempt to troll the blog.