The Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit that he’s filed against Eric Johnson, a couple of John Does, and me is a real piece of … um … of work. Paragraph 40 is particularly entertaining.
Notice that he starts out by saying we said false things about him but ends up saying that we gave unwanted publicity to private matters—which is an admission that what we said was true.
Oopsie.
Genius. Sheer genius.
He also just admitted on twitter to stealing a Vanderbilt photo and creating child porn – just not as much as south park……
Then he has another several dozen admissions against interest
What’s amusing is that he forgets when yearbook photos are taken…
Heh. That tweet was a real head shaker.
He pretty much said, “South Park creates and distributes porn, TOO!”
Unbelievable.
“One of us is playing offense. That would be the plaintiff. The other has to defend himself. That would be the defendant.”
— William Smellfart, Twitter Attorney at Law
One of them is playing checkers. That would be Bill. Unfortunately for him, the game is chess.
And like everything else, he really sucks at checkers.
The best defense is a good offense. – Team Free Speech
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
“One of us is playing offense. That would be us. The other has to defend himself. That would be the enemies.”
-Adolph Hitler speaking at the commencement of the Battle of Bulge.
Okay! Okay! I made up the quote. But, I think you can see my point.
Watch it, Jane. The Big BM will add you to his lolsuit for asserting he “sucks” at anything.
Blob’s over there on his Twitter timeline threatening JuicyJoe because Joe dared to tweet that Bill Schmalfeldt sucks at life.
Libel. I don’t think that word means what old Blobby Boy would like for it to mean.
hahaha
I’m don’t think a whole lot of words mean what he thinks they do.
SchmalSchwanz sucking at life is provably true.
Or in the words of Oliver Wendell Jones; “Probably.”
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_fb_0_11?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=bill+schmalfeldt&sprefix=bill+schmal%2Cdigital-text%2C489
Blows his assertion that he is a private citizen out of the water.
“Stupid is as stupid does”
BM, “Wile E.”, you are not. “Stupidibis”, you are. “Learned”, you are not. Give it up, just give it up!
You remember Julia Scyphers, don’t you?
Be well,
Bill, you fat worthless sack of crap, how many times do we have to explain it before you understand? Here it is real slow, YOU SUCK AT LIFE, meaning, you suck at every single thing you do. You can now add attorney, to the long list of stuff you’ve tried and sucked at, alongside, father, husband, blogger, author, human, sex show worker, radio host, comedian, etc.. Man, that list could go on forever
The fine print in lemon ink on the bill of rights expressly forbids opinions by anyone other than Mr. Schmalfeldt
Even more entertaining will be Bill’s reaction to the order in the contempt proceeding, which I would put even money on being out tomorrow (Friday, the 6th). He will try to style anything less than being sent to jail (which isn’t in the cards in any event) as a win, but my guess is that there’ll be tears and gnashing of teeth behind the false bravado.
(SCHMALFELDT)
Heh. Substitute ‘Bill Schmalfeldt’ for ‘Bobby Brown’ in the lyrics …
I apologize in advance for my tone even though I think it’s justified. That said,
WHY DON’T WE ALL JUST HIT THE TIP JAR AND BUILD A DAMN MONKEY SCHOOLHOUSE?
Who’ll shovel the monkey sh*t?
I thought we did?
Reblogged this on A Conservative Christian Man and commented:
Oopsie Poopsie!
“SCHAMFELDT remains a private citizen.” ??????
A writer for Daily Kos and other sites? “Publisher” of “books”? Blog owner? Active Twitter user? Internet radio show host? Self-proclaimed internet journalist?A private citizen?
“
JaneBill, you ignorant slut.“Heh. He writes about me because by his journamalistic standards, I am a public figure because of two newspaper articles about my crimes (as well as blog posts). By his public stance on what a public figure verses private citizen is, isn’t it both ironic and disingenuous that he claims that he claims to be a private citizen and not a public figure at all?
Please God, in your mercy, take Bill home!
CORRECTION: “he claims that he claims to be a private citizen and not a public figure at all?” should read: he claims to be a private citizen and not a public figure at all?
So if an evil elf is convicted of perjury, drug-running, forgery, terrorizing Speedway, Indiana by setting off several bombs, etc.; and is found responsible for the death of a Viet Nam vet and serious injuries to the vet’s wife, but has avoided paying the judgment, and even sued his victim to avoid paying the judgment; is the only suspect in the cold-blooded murder of a grandmother whose only known offense was preventing the evil elf, a grown man, from having contact with her very young granddaughter; whose own wife alleged under oath that the evil elf molested her; while in his 40’s married his wife, a teenager he imported from the Ukraine when she was only 14 years old; and more; the evil elf is a-ok and everyone should just ignore his many past and likely current crimes, and the fact he’s still not paying the widow he created.
But when a repeatedly adjudicated in multiple states harasser and/or stalker with dementia who says his own words can’t be trusted, Bill Schmalfeldt, who is a known and prolific liar, claims that a woman cheated on him 30 years ago, she should be permanently ostracized by the entire world.
Yup, makes perfect schmalsense to me.
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
To be accurate, he imported the Ukrainian girl at the age of 15. He first met her when he was forty and she fourteen.
Not to defend the guy but regarding “Notice that he starts out by saying we said false things about him but ends up saying that we gave unwanted publicity to private matters” it is possible to both say false things about a person AND to also give unwanted publicity to private matters.
I wonder how much of all the vitriole directed (justly) at Schmalfeld would go away if he publicly apologized for the false light exposes and publicity of private matters for which he is responsible.
If I state that while you were in college you once paid your cable bill two days late, it’s either true or it’s not. If it’s not true, it’s not an invasion of your privacy, it’s a lie meant to defame you. Remember, the phrase is: giving publicity to private facts.
Nice thought about an apology, but no one would believe him. Remember, he also “apologized” to Lee, then within a week was attacking Lee over the stillbirth of his daughter yet again, despite Lee not having so much as mentioned the freakshow during the interim.
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
If I state that a person (call him Shrill Ballssmelt) once paid his cable bill two days late (after official due date but before penalties were applied) and then I state that Shrill’s significant other left him due to his lack of hygiene in the naughty bits area I will have created a situation where Shrill could claim that I painted him in a false light AND provided unwanted publicity to private matters.
A point I was trying to make, unsuccessfully, the guy is what he is and demonstrably so. There is no need to make what appears to me to be picayune points that are not necessarily accurate.
Yes, Occam’s Toothbrush, one of your hypothetical statements may have been false while the other was an invasion of privacy. However, neither of those allegations are both an invasion and also false.
Keep in mind, in this hypothetical Shrill Ballssmelt (well played, OT! haha), is a professional writer. He writes what he means, and probably would write something along the lines of:
(emphasis added)
So, to me, either something is “distort[ed],” “dishonest,” “disfigured,” and/or “false light,” or describing ShrillBallssmelt as a “stalker, a supporter of pedophilia,” is giving unwanted publicity to private matters.
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
Love the Handle!!!
Jane, I should have read more closely.
Occam’s Toothbrush – The word salad produced by the adjudicated harasser is always difficult to decipher. It’s a good rule of thumb to begin with the premise that he has written something really stupid, likely harming his own cause, rather than expecting to find valid arguments or even coherence.
Very, very good on you for calling out a possible misunderstanding. I’ve noticed that our wonderful host appreciates valid criticism and correction, as do most, if not all, others who comment here.
I greatly enjoy friendly debates with smart people. Thank you. I hope we’ll find something minor to debate in the future, and expect to thoroughly enjoy reading your comments in the interim. 😀
#RememberJuliaScyphers
Bill Schmalfeldt
@weltschmerz2015
Lickspittle Logic – Nobody buys Schmalfeldt’s books or CDs, but he is a public figure because he wrote books and CDs.
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5:47 AM – 6 Feb 2015
Better logic than “The fourteen memoirs I published for public consumption didn’t sell, so I’m a private citizen!”
Totally ignoring his years as a radio personality including a staint as a nationally broadcast SiriusXM host …
staint = stint
https://www.google.com/search?q=boardway+bill+schmalfeldt&gws_rd=ssl#nfpr=1&q=broadway+bill+schmalfeldt&spell=1
Yes he is a public figure under New York Times Co. v. Sullivan, as are several of my close relations and friends.
Staint fits better.
Staint William.
The patron staint of dumbfuckery.
The “private person” publically tweets more personal information:
More invasion of privacy by the guy who values his privacy by tweeting it publically (again) on the airwaves.
Cabin Boy makes up more nonsense in an hour than ten years output of the nation of Elbonia.
I would imagine the Stranahan’s would find this an interesting line of thinking, no?
And what private information is he on about now?
Has he found the stolen valor comments yet?
Probably…
Or he’s just having another spastic fit at the keyboard…
It’s gotten to where it’s hard to tell.
Absolutely the only way I can find out anything on Schmalfeldt is – if the idiot tells me – like in one of his unsold books, or thousands of tweets. – Its not like hey he took a copyrighted picture of my underage daughter – put it on his website that points to “explicit” lyrics and says something as a fact that isn’t true.
Moron talks more about himself than anyone else – on the public airwaves
Moron still talking about libel – when all that is being posted is public information ne posted license free on twitter
I have a suggested title for the book William writes after the current lulzsuit gets dismissed with extreme prejudice;
“Hoge Am Law.”
LOL
Quick! Someone design the cover! haha
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
Bill writes to the world: I crapped my pants
I write: Bill craps his pants
Bill Writes: that’s Libel and invasion of privacy,
THIS ^^^^^^^^
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
Succinctly stated.
Further evidence that “libel” isn’t what William thinks it is.
Everything Juicy Joe said is a matter of opinion. If William’s writing, or even parenting, aren’t to Joe’s taste, there’s no legal basis for making a federal case out of it.
Oh, and this case never sees the inside of a courtroom. There’s that.
If Joe’s only 18, I might just have to loan him a lawyer, to ensure justice is done…
It’s not like I’m needing “Mr. Burns” at the moment!
(Painful, hope it works…)
(How’s that next faildox coming, Cousin Bill? That’s three for me, right?)
Darn it, no image:
If only I was 18 again. Those were some wild, wild times.
We should all ignore the freakshow creeping around an 18 year old kid’s internet presence. It’s all Joe’s fault for making him do it.
Gee, Joe, what were you thinking in not setting up your id so that no one ever could use the same handle? That’s just being mean to the mentally disabled, allowing others to use the same nickname.
Well, at least the adjudicated stalker has found another young person with a criminal record to taunt. That will probably work out well for him. When they find out, I mean.
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
I would love for this to make it to a courtroom. Who is this kid he’s talking about? What a minute did I just get my first faildox? Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah I made it. Finally I made it.
“Nice goin’ kid……don’t get cocky.”
Thank you Mr. P.M.. Yes sir, I promise I won’t let it go to my head.
Actually Mr. Mason was channeling Harrison Ford, Joe.
Hey Jane, it does seem, Shaky gets a little braver when he thinks he’s dealing with a kid. I wonder why that is? Maybe, like any other bully, he prefers “weaker” victims who are easily intimidated and scared to hit back. If that’s how he thinks of me he couldn’t be more wrong. Not only do I take his threats as a joke, I hope he follows through on them and adds me to the lawsuit. I’d love nothing more then to see his reaction to my identity. I don’t want to sound like I’m talking shit, but for several reasons (some of which Paul the head zombie himself can vouch for), Shaky would be better off leaving me out of it. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell all of you how small of a world it can be sometimes. I needed an apartment in Baltimore, for work reasons. I looked and looked and finally found one in the North Linthicum area of town. I’ve gotten all moved in, so I guess me and Bill are now basically neighbors, How crazy is that?
Oh, sorry Mr. Edgrin, I didn’t realize that’s what Mr. Mason had done. You know I’m just a young kid, only 18 years old, so I’m not very familiar with Harrison Ford’s movies.
Yeah. Blobby tries to pull the same bullying nonsense with female Zombies/Lickspittles, Joe. I’m sure he’s been horribly disappointed numerous times that Team Free Speech chicks are not intimidated in the least.
His bully schtick is beyond tiresome and boring. *yawn*
Oh. And, I received my first faild0x courtesy of the Blob this past week, as well. What’s that about doing the same thing over-and-over again?
Correction: Truth be told, I suppose this past week’s faild0x could be considered my second. Blob initially claimed I was Jane and Jane was Grace.
Blob really should heed Mr. Twain’s advice:
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
Slow learners be slow. Faild0x on, Blobby Boy.
Inspector Jiggles faild0xes people?
Jeepers…
Oh, this is just HILARIOUS! He believes that suing someone means they can’t comment on his idiocy! hahahahahaha
Guess that LOLsuit isn’t working out like he thought. But has anything, ever? hahahaha
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
It is a real pity he can’t be sued for idiocy. It would be the only real slam-dunk case in this whole battle between Team Lickspittle and Team Kimberlin.
Yeah, BPO you need to stop publishing
falsetrue accounts… what? Oh.Okay, gimme a sec…There fixed it.
What? Doesn’t make any sense that way?
Of course it doesn’t; it’s Schmalogic.
I swear there was a /del…
This just makes me even more sure someone around here is stealing close tags.
Where is Kyle?
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
That damn temporal pony thief him!
Muwhahahahahahaha!
Says the guy waiting on a contempt order decision.
Says the guy with three current restraining/peace orders on him in three different states. NEXT !
I think the key point is that Bill Schmalfeldt is the guy facing adjudication on a show cause order to demonstrate why he should not be held in contempt. Additionally, at some point, Illinois is going to want its court’s costs. Restraining orders don’t seem to restrain Bill Schmalfeldt that much. Bill Schmalfeldt could take a Court’s order as guidance as much as an order, but he won’t. He’ll have to learn the hard way.
The contempt petitions are not based on forged evidence, unless BS wants to recant his admission about the pingbacks. The letter he claims was forged was an exhibit to Hoge’s opposition to BS’s motion to dismiss.
The jovial former impresario known to XM fans worldwide as “Broadway Bill” have been making internetwork friend since 2004:
http://xmfan.com/viewtopic.php?t=80384&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0
Just one example for look at.
1 also example:
http://www.xmfan.com/viewtopic.php?t=53746&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15
Nice find!
http://www.siriusfan.com/viewtopic.php?t=70804&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0
Sheesh. Bill Schmalfeldt manages to be a complete asshole everywhere he goes.
What an empty DD214. The unremarkable Admiral.
I love the smell of faildox in the morning.
It smells like……….stupidity.
He really is his own worst enemy and too stupid to figure that out. .
How odd. Why is he lying? He know that the contempt petitions were not based on the letter he claims was forged. One petition was based on a pingback. Here we see how BS is deliberately muddling the waters.
Liar or idiot?
I know. I know. Embrace the power of “AND.”
I wonder why William isn’t offering a comment about A.B’s allegations regarding his military service?
If there was no “there” there, there certainly would have been a denial by now. And in WilliamWorld, if you don’t deny within 13 seconds of a charge being made, it’s presumed to be an admission, as we learned in the case of the Hoge IV “death threats.”
The Admiral seems to think that HE owns his military record.
Poor dumb bastard.
Not sure anyone is “questioning” his service.. more like, he’s giving it the “Brian Williams reporting” of it..
Actually, it sounds like someone is taking it up with the official record keeper of your military service – the U.S. Government.
Cabin Boy is the very definition of Kimberlin’s drooling sycophant.
SPQR – True – and how about the mulitply-adjudicated harasser having his own drooling sycophant in wee willy?
Does anyone think it possible for TK to find something even lower on the food chain and reward wee willy with his own drooling sycophant?
#JeSuisJuliaScyphers
#RememberJuliaScyphers
Forgot to cross post!
“Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015 · 26m 26 minutes ago
I have never claimed combat service, nor do any of my awards indicate such service. I did go to Lebanon in 1976 to assist in the evac.”
That’s quite a walk back from just last November when he was claiming all kinds of wild stories of hitting a beach unarmed in a war zone with the Marines. Or just a few months prior to that claiming pulling a body from rubble. Or before THAT saying they were under fire.
He doesn’t get that the internet is FOREVER.
——-
“Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015 · 25m 25 minutes ago
I am proud of my service, and am happy to discuss it. It was exciting enough without having to make shi*t up.”
Oh Bill. Bill. Bill…. but you have been making up stories. Stories that are easily proved false. And like any liar you are now trying to walk back your claims.
Which will be nice to read in my .pdf when I put screenshots of your tweets and blog posts of bullsh*t up next to the ones you are tweeting now.
And even better when I put direct quotes from some of the people you have worked with over the years ho remember you telling them some wild stories of “heroism” in the Navy.
——-
“Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015 · 2h 2 hours ago
Anyone questioning my military service should raise those questions with ME. Not drooling sycophants.”
Why? I have your bullsh*t stories you posted of your own free will.
And I have the documented historical facts according to the Department of the Navy, NPRC and the DoD.
I don’t have to raise anything with you. I just have to publish YOUR claims alongside the FACTS. And then let the people decide what to believe.
And there are some folks who will take serious issue with your claims. You can take it up with them.
Heh. Bill can dish it out but cannot take it. What a surprise!
(Nota Bene: Bill’s lies and falsifafications of his military service, as egregious and horrible as they are, do not diminish in any way to consequences of my actions as an admitted military imposter. I have rightfully earned the scorn of all for my actions.)
falsifafications should be falsifications.
Heh. Picking apart team kimberlin’s legal work is akin to picking apart a two-year-old’s excuses for writing on the wall. The difference is a two-year-old actually learns from the experience.
2 year olds actually grow up as well
Here you go, William.
https://hogewash.com/2015/02/05/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-698/#comment-78408
https://hogewash.com/2015/02/05/team-kimberlin-post-of-the-day-698/#comment-78451
So early in the day and the first faild0x of a Lickspittle.
Could we be looking at the coveted pentagonal faild0x today?
Who was the target? Juicy Joe?
Yes.
Har!
Bill can faildox more people before noon…
Bill Schmalfeldt
@weltschmerz2015
Hot long can you duck a subpoena, Krendler?
Uh, at least until you find out his real name?
I just don’t get the feeling that Willy has mastered this whole “legal” stuff.
He wrote ” Hot” long…
He must be thinking of The Bobber today.
Wrestling, anyone?
Eww. No.
So much incompetence in one little tweet.
I have not contributed to your tip jar in several months. Reading this blithering idiocy from Bill Schmalfeldt has motivated me to get off my ass and tip again.
Someone in an earlier thread said that any attention given to the World’s Most Witless Wonder diverted attention from Brett Kimberlin. Some of us have sufficient neurons to pay attention to more than one thing at a time. And both of those slime molds are prime examples of abusing the law to shut people up so I see no reason to give either one of them a pass.
Jeff made the much ballyhooed “evidence folder!”
You’re going places!
Evidence of what? That Jeff has his own money, and has willingly chosen to give some of it to our Gentle Host to support John blogging about issues that are of interest to Jeff?
Good grief. Could The Big BM be any more ridiculous and petty if he tried?
https://twitter.com/weltschmerz2015/status/563820056736694272
“That is not a warning. That is not a threat. That is a promise.”
LOL.
Ask Cousin Bill’s kids and wives what his promises are worth.
Bill Schmalfeldt
@weltschmerz2015
This will not end well for Hoge or for EPWJ. I have them both dead to rights.
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11:24 AM – 6 Feb 2015
How many different things has William had Hoge “dead to rights” on in just the last 12 months? How did they turn out?
Our host should start a counter on the main page. Or a scoreboard.
But I do like that William’s comfortable being the Washington Generals.
Also, I’m doing some quick math in my head, allowing for time differences.
Why is William’s time-stamp three hours behind? It is 2:40 pm on the east coast of America, isn’t it?
HAHhahahaah. Its none of the above. Its a Schmalthreat.
Schmalthreat.
So let it be written. So let it be done. (shaking head seriously)
… spidey sense is tingling …
Do you think @weltschmerz2015 has figured out that I’m not blustering here.
BTW Bill check your twitter thing. I left you a message!
https://twitter.com/schmeltdown
I am become death, the destroyer of Schmalfeldts.
Yah, his survival instincts do sputter to life, from time to time…
The same sort of cunning that an opossum might display.
My intention has to go after his military service embellishments that he has made over the years. I will respond to as many claims as he has made with the facts — the truth.
As I have already stated in a previous post he had a plain jane vanilla career and there is nothing wrong with having a career like that. But if you start shooting off at the mouth and embellishing your career… well now we have a problem. It disparages what other veterans have done. It makes ALL veterans look like embellishers and liars.
And I will uncover as much evidence as I can to expose his claims for what they are — LIES.
I have given Bill the chance to come clean about his embellishments and he KNOWS what embellishments I am talking about. We have seen his reaction to that today on Twitter. A man who watches certain blogs like a hawk fromt he moment he wakes up for any word written about him managed to avoid MY POSTINGS for several hours! And then tries to play it off as “oh, who? That?” Mmmm. Hmmm.
Actions speak louder than words Bill.
Bill knows why…. and I know why. And I’m giving Bill the chance to come clean. But he wants to keep digging a hole. So I’ll keep handing him a shovel.
I will continue searching for evidence Bill. If that means more FOIA’s and time and money spent…. well shucks. I’m not hurting for it. If it means contacting previous co-workers or supervisors then so be it. But it also means that when it get’s published it’s forever, Bill.
The Internet is forever. It’s forever.
Maybe Bill could cut&paste the Brian Williams apology, inserting the word “MEEEE” where necessary.
forever…forever….forever……..forever………………
39-13-529. Offense of soliciting sexual exploitation of a minor Exploitation of a minor by electronic means.
(a) It is an offense for a person eighteen (18) years of age or older, by means of oral, written or electronic communication, electronic mail or Internet service, including webcam communications, directly or through another, to intentionally command, hire, persuade, induce or cause a minor to engage in sexual activity or simulated sexual activity that is patently offensive, as defined in § 39-17-1002, where such sexual activity or simulated sexual activity is observed by that person or by another.
“Bill Schmalfeldt was a part of XM before day one and had a hand in the shaping of several channels, much of which can still be heard today. Bill was glad to take a few minutes from his busy schedule as Program Director of Newsradio 1330 WHBL and speak with XMFan about a few of his adventures (and misadventures) along the way.”
http://www.xmfan.com/bill.php
Note the last sentence
“XMFan: Would you go back and do anything differently if you could?
Bill: I wouldn’t have married my first two wives. And I love my job here – I really do – but if XM ever needs me, all they have to do is call!”
Good lord, that’s almost enough to make me cancel my satellite radio.
So…it stands for Epic Powered Wielder of Justice? Who’d ‘a thunk it?