Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Cabin Boy’s™ LOLsuit that he’s filed against Eric Johnson, a couple of John Does, and me is a real piece of … um … of work. Paragraph 40 is particularly entertaining.WMSvEJ ECF 1-40popcorn4bkNotice that he starts out by saying we said false things about him but ends up saying that we gave unwanted publicity to private matters—which is an admission that what we said was true.


137 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. He also just admitted on twitter to stealing a Vanderbilt photo and creating child porn – just not as much as south park……

    Then he has another several dozen admissions against interest

  2. Rule 11(b)(1) “it is not being presented for an improper purpose . . .”
    You can’t file a lawsuit, knowing that you will lose, just for the sake of irritating
    somebody or getting back at them by making them spend money trying to dismiss your

  3. “One of us is playing offense. That would be the plaintiff. The other has to defend himself. That would be the defendant.”

    — William Smellfart, Twitter Attorney at Law

  4. BM, “Wile E.”, you are not. “Stupidibis”, you are. “Learned”, you are not. Give it up, just give it up!

    You remember Julia Scyphers, don’t you?

    Be well,

  5. Bill, you fat worthless sack of crap, how many times do we have to explain it before you understand? Here it is real slow, YOU SUCK AT LIFE, meaning, you suck at every single thing you do. You can now add attorney, to the long list of stuff you’ve tried and sucked at, alongside, father, husband, blogger, author, human, sex show worker, radio host, comedian, etc.. Man, that list could go on forever

    • The fine print in lemon ink on the bill of rights expressly forbids opinions by anyone other than Mr. Schmalfeldt

  6. Even more entertaining will be Bill’s reaction to the order in the contempt proceeding, which I would put even money on being out tomorrow (Friday, the 6th). He will try to style anything less than being sent to jail (which isn’t in the cards in any event) as a win, but my guess is that there’ll be tears and gnashing of teeth behind the false bravado.

  7. SCHAMFELDT remains a private citizen.” ??????

    A writer for Daily Kos and other sites? “Publisher” of “books”? Blog owner? Active Twitter user? Internet radio show host? Self-proclaimed internet journalist?A private citizen?

    Jane Bill, you ignorant slut.

    • Heh. He writes about me because by his journamalistic standards, I am a public figure because of two newspaper articles about my crimes (as well as blog posts). By his public stance on what a public figure verses private citizen is, isn’t it both ironic and disingenuous that he claims that he claims to be a private citizen and not a public figure at all?
      Please God, in your mercy, take Bill home!

      • CORRECTION: “he claims that he claims to be a private citizen and not a public figure at all?” should read: he claims to be a private citizen and not a public figure at all?

  8. So if an evil elf is convicted of perjury, drug-running, forgery, terrorizing Speedway, Indiana by setting off several bombs, etc.; and is found responsible for the death of a Viet Nam vet and serious injuries to the vet’s wife, but has avoided paying the judgment, and even sued his victim to avoid paying the judgment; is the only suspect in the cold-blooded murder of a grandmother whose only known offense was preventing the evil elf, a grown man, from having contact with her very young granddaughter; whose own wife alleged under oath that the evil elf molested her; while in his 40’s married his wife, a teenager he imported from the Ukraine when she was only 14 years old; and more; the evil elf is a-ok and everyone should just ignore his many past and likely current crimes, and the fact he’s still not paying the widow he created.

    But when a repeatedly adjudicated in multiple states harasser and/or stalker with dementia who says his own words can’t be trusted, Bill Schmalfeldt, who is a known and prolific liar, claims that a woman cheated on him 30 years ago, she should be permanently ostracized by the entire world.

    Yup, makes perfect schmalsense to me.


    • To be accurate, he imported the Ukrainian girl at the age of 15. He first met her when he was forty and she fourteen.

  9. Not to defend the guy but regarding “Notice that he starts out by saying we said false things about him but ends up saying that we gave unwanted publicity to private matters” it is possible to both say false things about a person AND to also give unwanted publicity to private matters.
    I wonder how much of all the vitriole directed (justly) at Schmalfeld would go away if he publicly apologized for the false light exposes and publicity of private matters for which he is responsible.

    • If I state that while you were in college you once paid your cable bill two days late, it’s either true or it’s not. If it’s not true, it’s not an invasion of your privacy, it’s a lie meant to defame you. Remember, the phrase is: giving publicity to private facts.

      Nice thought about an apology, but no one would believe him. Remember, he also “apologized” to Lee, then within a week was attacking Lee over the stillbirth of his daughter yet again, despite Lee not having so much as mentioned the freakshow during the interim.

      • If I state that a person (call him Shrill Ballssmelt) once paid his cable bill two days late (after official due date but before penalties were applied) and then I state that Shrill’s significant other left him due to his lack of hygiene in the naughty bits area I will have created a situation where Shrill could claim that I painted him in a false light AND provided unwanted publicity to private matters.
        A point I was trying to make, unsuccessfully, the guy is what he is and demonstrably so. There is no need to make what appears to me to be picayune points that are not necessarily accurate.


        Yes, Occam’s Toothbrush, one of your hypothetical statements may have been false while the other was an invasion of privacy. However, neither of those allegations are both an invasion and also false.

        Keep in mind, in this hypothetical Shrill Ballssmelt (well played, OT! haha), is a professional writer. He writes what he means, and probably would write something along the lines of:

        …blah blah… Defendants have appropriated ShrillBallssmelt’s likeness from copyrighted photos to use as they will, distorting the images, cropping them dishonestly, or crafting them into disfigured creatures to portray ShrillBallssmelt in a false light as being a stalker, a supporter of pedophilia, and practically any other sort of monster they care to depict. Therefore, according to the Restatement (Second) of Torts, § 652D, the Defendants have given unwanted publicity to private matters concerning ShrillBallssmelt’s private life and therefore are subject to the liability of invading Plaintiff’s privacy. … blah blah…

        (emphasis added)

        So, to me, either something is “distort[ed],” “dishonest,” “disfigured,” and/or “false light,” or describing ShrillBallssmelt as a “stalker, a supporter of pedophilia,” is giving unwanted publicity to private matters.


      • Occam’s Toothbrush – The word salad produced by the adjudicated harasser is always difficult to decipher. It’s a good rule of thumb to begin with the premise that he has written something really stupid, likely harming his own cause, rather than expecting to find valid arguments or even coherence.

        Very, very good on you for calling out a possible misunderstanding. I’ve noticed that our wonderful host appreciates valid criticism and correction, as do most, if not all, others who comment here.

        I greatly enjoy friendly debates with smart people. Thank you. I hope we’ll find something minor to debate in the future, and expect to thoroughly enjoy reading your comments in the interim. 😀

  10. Bill Schmalfeldt
    Lickspittle Logic – Nobody buys Schmalfeldt’s books or CDs, but he is a public figure because he wrote books and CDs.
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    5:47 AM – 6 Feb 2015

    Better logic than “The fourteen memoirs I published for public consumption didn’t sell, so I’m a private citizen!”

  11. The “private person” publically tweets more personal information:

    Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015

    Oh, and his favorite lickspittle morons are back cheering him on to yet another glorious victory. Sigh!

    Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015

    Over the span of two years, one can either spread defamatory lies about a person, or reveal private information. Never both.

    Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015

    And then, in the next sentence, tell private information about that person that is not meant for public eyes. His argument seems to be that

    Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015

    Hoge presents an interesting theory this morning. He seems to be suggesting that one cannot tell defamatory Lies about someone…

    More invasion of privacy by the guy who values his privacy by tweeting it publically (again) on the airwaves.

    • Absolutely the only way I can find out anything on Schmalfeldt is – if the idiot tells me – like in one of his unsold books, or thousands of tweets. – Its not like hey he took a copyrighted picture of my underage daughter – put it on his website that points to “explicit” lyrics and says something as a fact that isn’t true.

      Moron talks more about himself than anyone else – on the public airwaves

      • Moron still talking about libel – when all that is being posted is public information ne posted license free on twitter

  12. I have a suggested title for the book William writes after the current lulzsuit gets dismissed with extreme prejudice;

    “Hoge Am Law.”

  13. Bill writes to the world: I crapped my pants
    I write: Bill craps his pants
    Bill Writes: that’s Libel and invasion of privacy,

      • Hey Jane, it does seem, Shaky gets a little braver when he thinks he’s dealing with a kid. I wonder why that is? Maybe, like any other bully, he prefers “weaker” victims who are easily intimidated and scared to hit back. If that’s how he thinks of me he couldn’t be more wrong. Not only do I take his threats as a joke, I hope he follows through on them and adds me to the lawsuit. I’d love nothing more then to see his reaction to my identity. I don’t want to sound like I’m talking shit, but for several reasons (some of which Paul the head zombie himself can vouch for), Shaky would be better off leaving me out of it. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell all of you how small of a world it can be sometimes. I needed an apartment in Baltimore, for work reasons. I looked and looked and finally found one in the North Linthicum area of town. I’ve gotten all moved in, so I guess me and Bill are now basically neighbors, How crazy is that?

      • Yeah. Blobby tries to pull the same bullying nonsense with female Zombies/Lickspittles, Joe. I’m sure he’s been horribly disappointed numerous times that Team Free Speech chicks are not intimidated in the least.

        His bully schtick is beyond tiresome and boring. *yawn*

        Oh. And, I received my first faild0x courtesy of the Blob this past week, as well. What’s that about doing the same thing over-and-over again?

      • Correction: Truth be told, I suppose this past week’s faild0x could be considered my second. Blob initially claimed I was Jane and Jane was Grace.

        Blob really should heed Mr. Twain’s advice:

        “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

        Slow learners be slow. Faild0x on, Blobby Boy.

    • It is a real pity he can’t be sued for idiocy. It would be the only real slam-dunk case in this whole battle between Team Lickspittle and Team Kimberlin.

    • Yeah, BPO you need to stop publishing false true accounts… what? Oh.
      Okay, gimme a sec…There fixed it.

      What? Doesn’t make any sense that way?

      Of course it doesn’t; it’s Schmalogic.

      • I think the key point is that Bill Schmalfeldt is the guy facing adjudication on a show cause order to demonstrate why he should not be held in contempt. Additionally, at some point, Illinois is going to want its court’s costs. Restraining orders don’t seem to restrain Bill Schmalfeldt that much. Bill Schmalfeldt could take a Court’s order as guidance as much as an order, but he won’t. He’ll have to learn the hard way.

    • The contempt petitions are not based on forged evidence, unless BS wants to recant his admission about the pingbacks. The letter he claims was forged was an exhibit to Hoge’s opposition to BS’s motion to dismiss.

  14. I wonder why William isn’t offering a comment about A.B’s allegations regarding his military service?

    If there was no “there” there, there certainly would have been a denial by now. And in WilliamWorld, if you don’t deny within 13 seconds of a charge being made, it’s presumed to be an admission, as we learned in the case of the Hoge IV “death threats.”

      • SPQR – True – and how about the mulitply-adjudicated harasser having his own drooling sycophant in wee willy?

        Does anyone think it possible for TK to find something even lower on the food chain and reward wee willy with his own drooling sycophant?


    • Forgot to cross post!

      “Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015 · 26m 26 minutes ago

      I have never claimed combat service, nor do any of my awards indicate such service. I did go to Lebanon in 1976 to assist in the evac.”

      That’s quite a walk back from just last November when he was claiming all kinds of wild stories of hitting a beach unarmed in a war zone with the Marines. Or just a few months prior to that claiming pulling a body from rubble. Or before THAT saying they were under fire.

      He doesn’t get that the internet is FOREVER.

      “Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015 · 25m 25 minutes ago

      I am proud of my service, and am happy to discuss it. It was exciting enough without having to make shi*t up.”

      Oh Bill. Bill. Bill…. but you have been making up stories. Stories that are easily proved false. And like any liar you are now trying to walk back your claims.

      Which will be nice to read in my .pdf when I put screenshots of your tweets and blog posts of bullsh*t up next to the ones you are tweeting now.

      And even better when I put direct quotes from some of the people you have worked with over the years ho remember you telling them some wild stories of “heroism” in the Navy.
      “Bill Schmalfeldt @weltschmerz2015 · 2h 2 hours ago

      Anyone questioning my military service should raise those questions with ME. Not drooling sycophants.”

      Why? I have your bullsh*t stories you posted of your own free will.

      And I have the documented historical facts according to the Department of the Navy, NPRC and the DoD.

      I don’t have to raise anything with you. I just have to publish YOUR claims alongside the FACTS. And then let the people decide what to believe.

      And there are some folks who will take serious issue with your claims. You can take it up with them.

      • Heh. Bill can dish it out but cannot take it. What a surprise!
        (Nota Bene: Bill’s lies and falsifafications of his military service, as egregious and horrible as they are, do not diminish in any way to consequences of my actions as an admitted military imposter. I have rightfully earned the scorn of all for my actions.)

  15. Heh. Picking apart team kimberlin’s legal work is akin to picking apart a two-year-old’s excuses for writing on the wall. The difference is a two-year-old actually learns from the experience.

  16. Bill Schmalfeldt
    Hot long can you duck a subpoena, Krendler?

    Uh, at least until you find out his real name?

    I just don’t get the feeling that Willy has mastered this whole “legal” stuff.

  17. I have not contributed to your tip jar in several months. Reading this blithering idiocy from Bill Schmalfeldt has motivated me to get off my ass and tip again.

    Someone in an earlier thread said that any attention given to the World’s Most Witless Wonder diverted attention from Brett Kimberlin. Some of us have sufficient neurons to pay attention to more than one thing at a time. And both of those slime molds are prime examples of abusing the law to shut people up so I see no reason to give either one of them a pass.

    • Bill Schmalfeldt
      This will not end well for Hoge or for EPWJ. I have them both dead to rights.
      0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
      Reply Retweet Favorite
      11:24 AM – 6 Feb 2015

      How many different things has William had Hoge “dead to rights” on in just the last 12 months? How did they turn out?

      Our host should start a counter on the main page. Or a scoreboard.

      But I do like that William’s comfortable being the Washington Generals.

      • Also, I’m doing some quick math in my head, allowing for time differences.

        Why is William’s time-stamp three hours behind? It is 2:40 pm on the east coast of America, isn’t it?

  18. Do you think @weltschmerz2015 has figured out that I’m not blustering here.

    BTW Bill check your twitter thing. I left you a message!

    • My intention has to go after his military service embellishments that he has made over the years. I will respond to as many claims as he has made with the facts — the truth.

      As I have already stated in a previous post he had a plain jane vanilla career and there is nothing wrong with having a career like that. But if you start shooting off at the mouth and embellishing your career… well now we have a problem. It disparages what other veterans have done. It makes ALL veterans look like embellishers and liars.

      And I will uncover as much evidence as I can to expose his claims for what they are — LIES.

      I have given Bill the chance to come clean about his embellishments and he KNOWS what embellishments I am talking about. We have seen his reaction to that today on Twitter. A man who watches certain blogs like a hawk fromt he moment he wakes up for any word written about him managed to avoid MY POSTINGS for several hours! And then tries to play it off as “oh, who? That?” Mmmm. Hmmm.

      Actions speak louder than words Bill.

      Bill knows why…. and I know why. And I’m giving Bill the chance to come clean. But he wants to keep digging a hole. So I’ll keep handing him a shovel.

      I will continue searching for evidence Bill. If that means more FOIA’s and time and money spent…. well shucks. I’m not hurting for it. If it means contacting previous co-workers or supervisors then so be it. But it also means that when it get’s published it’s forever, Bill.

      The Internet is forever. It’s forever.

  19. 39-13-529. Offense of soliciting sexual exploitation of a minor Exploitation of a minor by electronic means.

    (a) It is an offense for a person eighteen (18) years of age or older, by means of oral, written or electronic communication, electronic mail or Internet service, including webcam communications, directly or through another, to intentionally command, hire, persuade, induce or cause a minor to engage in sexual activity or simulated sexual activity that is patently offensive, as defined in § 39-17-1002, where such sexual activity or simulated sexual activity is observed by that person or by another.

  20. (b) any written material, visual representation or audio recording that advocates or counsels sexual activity with a person under the age of eighteen years that would be an offence under this Act;
    (c) written material whose dominant characteristic is the description, for a sexual purpose, of sexual activity with a person under the age of eighteen years that would be an offence under this Act; or
    (d) Any audio recording that has as its dominant characteristic the description, presentation or representation, for a sexual purpose, of sexual activity with a person under the age of eighteen years that would be an offence under this Act.

    Marginal note:Making child pornography
    (2) Every person who makes, prints, publishes or possesses for the purpose of publication any child pornography is guilty of
    (a) an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years and to a minimum punishment of imprisonment for a term of one year; or
    (b) an offence punishable on summary conviction and is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years less a day and to a minimum punishment of imprisonment for a term of six months.

    Marginal note:Distribution, etc. of child pornography

    (3) Every person who transmits, makes available, distributes, sells, advertises, imports, exports or possesses for the purpose of transmission, making available, distribution, sale, advertising or exportation any child pornography is guilty of

    (a) an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years and to a minimum punishment of imprisonment for a term of one year; or

    (b) an offence punishable on summary conviction and is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years less a day and to a minimum punishment of imprisonment for a term of six months

  21. “Bill Schmalfeldt was a part of XM before day one and had a hand in the shaping of several channels, much of which can still be heard today. Bill was glad to take a few minutes from his busy schedule as Program Director of Newsradio 1330 WHBL and speak with XMFan about a few of his adventures (and misadventures) along the way.”

    Note the last sentence
    “XMFan: Would you go back and do anything differently if you could?
    Bill: I wouldn’t have married my first two wives. And I love my job here – I really do – but if XM ever needs me, all they have to do is call!”

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