On 9 January, Bill Schmalfeldt filed a motion to dismiss my petition that he be found in contempt for violating the current peace order issued against him. On 27 January, I filed an opposition to his motion.
My opposition speaks for itself, and I do not wish to make any further substantive public comment about my petition or the motion to dismiss until after the court has ruled on them.
UPDATE—I received this in today’s mail.
Game. Set. Match.
I wasn’t convinced that a pingback would cause much consternation with the judge, but a threatening letter AFTER the violation was filed. Dear God, what a mess.
How unbelievably stoooooooooooopid can one testicle-footed freakshow be?? Why stupid enough to mail threats to a person who has already filed asking the court to enforce a peace order and hold the demented defendant in contempt.
Never, ever bet the freakshow couldn’t possibly be more stupid – he’ll always prove that he can, and he will.
We have a saying in Engineering:
“Do not try to make something idiot-proof. They are always developing more clever idiots.”
some attribute this to Einstein : “Intelligence is finite”
I’d heard that phrase too, though as “they just make a better idiot”.
I think what Einstein said, or was widely credited with saying, was “Only two things are infinite: the Universe, and human stupidity.”
He was a great man.
Excellent presentation, John. Very well written, and great contrast to the pleading to you’re opposing.
Ditto.
O!M!G!
I’ve heard of shooting yourself in the foot, but Bildo, my boy, you just put a bazooka to your temple and pulled the trigger.
And I just LOVE the Jan 12 postmark, but the date of Jan 15 in the letter. Where did he learn to alter mailing date like that, huh?
If this weren’t Maryland, I would say this would be a slam dunk.
Heh. Too bad John doesn’t live here in Florida. The letter is a second degree felony here in FL! That’s 15 years in state prison for each threat or extortionate demand.
Paul – according to what I linked earlier at avvo, MD has criminal harassment laws too. I’m sure they’ve already been posted here, but I don’t remember where, or the penalties.
Moot issue anyway, unless John decides to file a complaint. I doubt the judge would do it, especially if she jails the freakshow herself.
Actually, considering the history, she may be inclined to do both.
Cabin Boy actually compounds the contempt with criminal threats.
What a genius.
Oh, William, William, William.
You just couldn’t stop yourself, could you?
Even if you managed to avoid being found in contempt for the pingback, there’s no escaping the letter.
Enjoy jail, old boy!
It’s like he’s playing Russian Roulette with a semiautomatic pistol. He can’t help but hurt himself.
Or using a revolver and 6 bullets
… and it’s a J-Frame Smith & Wesson, so he has a spare round to stick up his ass.
A) Extortionate threats / Witness tampering
2. “Be well” WTF?
Third: Contact above and beyond nebulous internet vagaries to full on Postal Service harassment!!!
“Think about your family and your job.”
Just…..wow.
“Be well.”
The first threatening letter he sent me in early December ended “Regards, and Merry Christmas”.
Thanks for posting that, I officially have no comment to contribute but a reply to yours. (not upset mind you.)
My response is, OMG. Extortion. From someone with a no contact order. Extortion. They say you cannot underestimate the Dread Blobfelt’s stupidity, I honestly believed that, I’d still have lost money.
Don’t you know that civility is an exception to extortion and intimidation?
It’s like when Southern ladies say “Bless your heart.”
“Why, look at that ugly little baby! …bless his heart.”
Wow. I am literally dumbfounded. Should make tomorrow even more interesting.
I cannot believe this.
I am dumbfounded. Numb. Speechless. Breathless.
Mind = Blown.
Just wait, Paul – he’ll somehow manage to top even this.
He may have to spend several more hours banging his own demented head into cement, but he’ll manage somehow.
+2 for imagery!
He’s started posting again on Twitter.
He appears to be going for haiku. He’s as good at haiku as he is at the law.
I’m waiting for him to start one with “There once was a man from Nantucket”
There must be a word for that kind of stupid, but for the life of me I can’t think of it.
There is. It is “Schmalfeldt”.
THIS ^^^^^
Sorry, Roy, but this really should be in the urban dictionary.
Jane, I cannot disagree.
I haz a sad…
Err…day after tomorrow….Friday.
Oh, tomorrow may be interesting as well.
Can’t wait…
What happens tomorrow?
Spoilers!
Will the number four have any significance to tomorrow?
This feels like Christmas Eve!
Let’s see if I got the html right this time….
Aaaaand, the answer would appear to be “NO!”
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Duh2cFnMCdo/Ut5BsNGrCSI/AAAAAAAAA98/GDeZMMRtgk8/s1600/River-Song-Spoilers.png
LG,
Looks like you got it. Is that a clip from Arrow?
WJJH4 vs. Schmalfeldt and CH vs. Schmalfeldt perhaps?
Monitor, the second time I just posted the link. The first time I tried to do the [img stuff.
It’s River Song from Dr. Who.
Ahh LG. My son is trying to turn me into a Whovian, but I have’t had the time yet. She also played a Doctor in ER and plays the Wife/Mother of some of the regulars in Arrow. She has only done so a handful of times.
/facepalm
Feldtdown to commence in 3..2..1…
Unless he’s actually suicidal, which given this letter, who knows?
“Think about your family and your job.”
The only thing that could have made this any worse for you, Bill, is if you had cc’d the judge on it.
“Nice job and family you have there. Would be a shame if you lost them. Be well.”
I secretly thought that he might get away with the pingback by playing stupid, but William blew his own balls off with that letter.
Did we really get into his head to that extent?
I predict:
“I NEVER SENT THAT!!”
“I DIDN’T WRITE ANY LETTER!!”
“HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!”
“LICKSPITTLES!!!!”
Yes, he IS stupid enough to try that. Look how well he’s managed things so far. hahahaha
With a forged signature? And a Baltimore postmark?
I don’t think he’s that crazed and dumb, but given today’s developments, who can say?
gmta, Neal.
Wonder what he was doing in Baltimore. I thought the weather confined him to the trailer park in Elkridge?
This is an urgent case for the Postal Inspectors. Their crack forensics team can dust the letter for prints and do a hand writing analysis of the signature to see if it matches any known samples.
hahahaha
DNA analysis of the dried saliva on the stamp?
I predict radio silence.
Heck, I’ve already f’d up once by overestimating his intelligence, what are the chances I could do so twice?
(provemewrong provemewrong peovemwrong provemewrong)
I feel like a complete idiot. I had convinced myself that with his ‘radio silence’ he surely had obtained a lawyer.
This proves that he did not even consult Acme Legal.
Oh, he may have hired a lawyer – just much too late to do him a bit of good.
The lawyer must have agreed to help him throw himself at the mercy of the court. There’s no way a member of the bar would let him do this. Hell, there’s no way any reasonable person wouldn’t try to stop him from doing this.
—break—
Went to go get a quote from the letter. Got this very Schmalfeldtian error message in the Scribd box:
Agreed, Gus. I can’t see anything else a lawyer could do, other than speaking for him at the hearing and maybe prevent, or at least lessen, opportunities to make things even worse for himself.
Again, I have faith – he will top even this.
In my experience, advising a client not to do a monumentally stupid thing rarely ends well for the client.
They want to do the monumentally stupid thing, they’re just asking for legal cover.
Another sterling performance from the senior jurist (NOT!!!) and president for life (think Idi Amin Dada) at Acme Law. Mistook a shotgun for a footlong, slathered it with lots and lots of mayo then inserted it in his usual way and pulled trigger.
LOL
That must hurt. Maybe someone can send him a get well card. “Be well.”
Hey Man, Nice Shot!
I love that song. It gave me a moment’s pause when I learned what it was about, but still a great song.
I’m going to file criminal charges against you. Be well.
I’m going to harass your family. Be well.
I’m going to falsely accuse your son of a crime. Be well.
I’m going to contact your employer and accuse you of copyright fraud. Be well.
I’m going to put a voodoo curse on you. Be well.
I’m going to photoshop your spouse onto a giant cactus penis. Be well.
I’m going to post photos of your daughters. Be well.
I’m going to post your address and court sealed documents on my blog so that jihadis know where to find you and your wife. Be well!
Reblogged this on A Conservative Christian Man.
Noting for the record: prisons can and do accommodate the disabled. So, that’s not going to fly as any kind of “get out of jail free” excuse.
Just saying….
Heh. One of my fellow felons at Federal Prison Camp-Pensacola had a heart transplant while I was there … he spent three months in a wheelchair with an assigned inmate as his ‘driver’ and he worked in the law library every day. After my heart attack (and emplacement of five cardiac stents) the remaining two months of my prison stay was as a disabled prisoner, no job assignment, confined to the grounds, no housekeeping duties just watch TV in the dayroom, go to the chow hall (head of the line pass) and read in my bunk. Prisons and jails accommodate the ill and disabled all the time.
“Nice parole you have there. Too bad if someone lied to your PO and it was revoked. Be well.”
Precisely. As attempted and rejected by my PO.
31 more days!
Does the ‘driver’ get a head of the line pass for chow too?
Just curious, but it seems like being a ‘driver’ is about as nice a gig as ‘disabled’ without, you know, the whole cardiac cath business.
Yes, the volunteer ‘driver’ also gets a head of the line pass sand that whole femoral puncture and discomfort.
Friday will be interesting and a little heartbreaking….. I’ve been working since November 2014 running down EVERY SINGLE claim Bill has made online about his military service and researching the hell out of them. It may all be for not if Billy goes away to jail.
And what a trove….
14 pages (and counting….) of my research typed in size 11 font IN MS Word, dozens of photographs and scans, copies of material from the Department of the Navy and HQ Marines, more than 37 cited sources of information….. and my second NPRC request coming back in a few weeks with his DD-214 and some additional Navy records (oh the juicy details)!!
Bill…. let me say…. some of your adventurous claims….. you’re screwed.
Totally screwed.
*sigh*
…and twenty-seven 8 by 10 color glossy pictures with th’ circles an’ arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explainin’ what each one was to be used as evidence against [him.]
Sorry…couldn’t resist.
As a Naval veteran, I would love to read your RESEARCH. All in due time, I suppose.
I’ll second that, seeing as I’m the wife of a Navy Vet, and a friend to many more.
I am former Navy also which is why some of his claims started irking me. I am nearly done with it all and will disseminate it as widely as possible.
If you post a link, A.B., I’ll read it.
Please, please, please post it!
Yes let’s make sure we all get to see that study of yours. Very interesting.
The Great Elkridge Foot Shoot.
Well, it’s been an hour and a half since the response was posted and William hasn’t denied he wrote the letter, so ….
DOOM CLOCK!!!!
Or an admission of guilt. Isn’t that how it works? John doesn’t deny that his son sent a “death threat” within an hour, ergo the son sent a threat.
Even better, the judge that’s going to reviewing all of this has already been publicly referred to by William as a Luddite and a moron.
You know, on second thought, I believe the Cabin Boy sent this letter as part of a RICO conspiracy to drive traffic to Hogewash! and increase his ranking in SEO algorithms.
And John, you played right into his hands, you fool!
LOL
That must be his diabolical plan – and the poor quantum mechanic was just no match for such geeeenyus.
Increase whose traffic?
People knowing to put on protection before visiting Bill’s Slovenian Manure Fest?
Seriously, that RICO could work just as well against Bill, if it weren’t for Hoge documenting things most of us would not have heard of the tub-o-mayo.
Is the rest of the pirate crew worried that one of there members appears to certainly be headed for a stay at the government’s pleasure?
Will they be worried that in an attempt to mitigate any further actions against himself, he may decide to roll over on them?
As they frequently accused people of things they themselves actually do, will “rolling over on your friends” be just another example?
Time to make some more beef jerky…
Make it extra spicy …
“… decide to roll over on them”
And squash them. I would say “Oh the humanity!”, but by their actions they have been exposed as sub-human.
So I guess it would be: “Oh the sub-humanity!”
I love it when he proves me right. World’s Stupidest Man™
Congratulations Bill. Old pedo Kimberlin was breathing down you neck but you managed to surge FAR into the lead with that letter.
At first I thought you meant that he was trying to pass off the letter as being a year old but now I see that it’s just a typo in your opposition.
In the spirit of wishing Billy good tidings, one of my progeny made me aware of a website that has potentially interesting gift ideas, not that I would expect any Lickspittles to take advantage of such product offerings, or anything:
http://www.shipadick.com/
I don’t think they have a box big enough for Bill.
LOLOLOL!
My vote for the excuse is “Perfectly acceptable contact concerning a legal issue”.
Nope, nope, nope. That’s what YOUR ATTORNEY is for.
He will claim it is ok to send because ‘pro se’ permits him. I am not as concerned that he made contact but the content is U F B.
Wow.
I don’t think Bill Schmalfeldt could have done more damage to his cause than if he mooned the judge in open court.
And major props to Our Esteemed Mr. Hoge for gently laying out Schmalfeldt’s letter as “additional contact” without foreshadowing the blatant (to this layperson’s eye) criminal threats and extortion. I expect that this is going to be read as “blah blah blah, yah I already know that, no grounds, yeah yah unwanted contact, blah blah signatures, um… HOLY MOTHER OF %&&#%$!!!”
Wow.
Before seeing this, I expected that the only “punishment” Bill Schmalfeldt would suffer is being forced to come out in the cold. Now, I’ll be very surprised if he doesn’t spend at least the weekend in jail.
Can you imagine the hilarity when (as is very likely) the judge sits down at the bench at the time of the hearing to find this sitting in front of him to read? Oh, man, it’s really gonna suck to be Bill Schmalfeldt on Friday!
by posting that letter after telling the judge in 77 pages he was innocent was to me him mooning the judge
It’s possible that Bill Schmalfeldt’s figurative mooning of the judge will result in worse sanctions than literally doing so.
Oh, and I see the Downtwinkle Fairy is visiting again.
Only the good boys and girls …
How about the judge, for BS’ own protection, sentences him to jail until the next day that reaches a safe temperature? Say, at least 40 or 50 Fahrenheit?
“Say, at least 40 or 50 Fahrenheit?”
On the dark side of the moon.
+eleventy
Hmmm … perhaps incarceration pending report of a 5150 psych exam?
This is a “Smellyfeldt”.
The update is hilarious. Arguments raised in his motion to “Cancel the Show Cause Hearing” will be heard *AT* the show cause hearing.
Priceless.
I do believe His Honor has a sense of humor.
So does somebody else.
Glazed and Contused
@weltschmerz2015
When yer smilin’, When yer smilin’
The whole world smiles with you.
When yer laffin’, When yer laffin’,
The sun comes shinin’ thru.
0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
Reply Retweet Favorite
More
7:27 PM – 28 Jan 2015
Too funny. Bundle up Billy, looks like you’re heading down to the courthouse after all. I’d pack an extra pair of drawers too. It could be a long weekend.
And Vaseline Petroleum Jelly.
Bill all you had to do was leave Mr. Hoge alone. But you couldn’t do that could you? I doubt the judge is going to have sympathy toward your situation. What happens behind those cell doors is a fate of your own making. You have nobody to blame but yourself. Prepare yourself Oedipal Bill, judgement awaits you.
The big “bm” Friday.
Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I came across this post re: Andrew Sullivan’s cessation of blogging. It links to a piece that, well, it just brought someone else to mind, from the fascination with male genitalia to forensic obstetrics at a distance:
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/354622.php
It appears the “Down Twinkles Crew” has made an appearance.
Pathetic. They act like middle school girls.
Excuse me while I go get some more popcorn…
I got a handle on Bill’s future tweets:
Glazed and Contused @weltschmerz2015 · very soon
This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I’ll never look into your eyes…again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ar27ChFKqA
Heh. Quite apt Perry.
And:
Glazed and Contused @weltschmerz2015 · about 36 hours
I’m a loser
I’m a loser
And I’m not what I appear to be
What have I done to deserve such a fate
I realize I have left it too late
And so it’s true, pride comes before a fall
I’m telling you so that you won’t lose all
I don’t think he’ll drop a dime on anyone. Why?
“There’s a tugboat, huh, huh, down by the river don’tcha know
Where a cement bag’s just a’drooppin’ on down
Oh, that cement is just, it’s there for the weight, dear
Five’ll get ya ten old Macky’s back in town
Now d’ja hear ’bout Louie Miller? He disappeared, babe
After drawin’ out all his hard-earned cash
And now MacHeath spends just like a sailor
Could it be our boy’s done somethin’ rash?”
jail time baby
Wow! 5 down twinkles must be some kind of record!
Witless, Witlesser. Schmalfeldtian.
I seem to have some recollection (perhaps mistaken of course) that legal correspondence was to be sent to our host’s designated legal representative.
I wonder if someone is relishing the opportunity to have certain orifices well stretched and took out an insurance policy so as not to miss out on any fun.
Can he think that far in advance? Wouldn’t he have to know, in advance, what part of his cycle he would be in?
“Constitutional right to have a blog and a Twitter presence”!
LOLOLOL
Next, he will claim to have a medical right to an obsession.
Umm, there is no constitutional right to have those. Those are services provided to you by somebody. They can yank them at any moment. Just sayin’.
The lolz, they just keep coming!
But, but, but, what about his right to pursue happiness?? It makes him happy to harass, stalk, torment, and generally pursue others!
Well, I was pretty sure there was no way he was going to get jailed from this hearing. The BM’s going to need to remember to ask “jelly or syrup?”
This type of salad?
Exactly.
Even Bill’s crappy retorts aren’t up, er down, to his usual “standards”:
Glazed and Contused @weltschmerz2015 · 30m 30 minutes ago
You are what you are, Perry.
Uh, yea.
It’s like he’s coming to terms with something…
I’ve seen you do some really dumb shit over the last 4 years or so, Sir QuakesALot. But this is your pièce de résistance.
Until you out-stupid yourself next week.
You should wear your newly acquired jail outfit to court.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
This out does “I want it all doug ” and ” You want to lose your kids” …. Oh my..
Someone’s trying to create grounds for an insanity defense over on his Twitter TL…
Or someone broke out the Mogen David.
Nightrain or fourloko perhaps …
I’m not saying anyone would do such a diabolical thing, but…
With self adhesive stamps and envelopes and a plethora of signature examples online, and a buddy or two or three in Laurel, MD, who knows what could happen?.
What are Neal’s current whereabouts?
Actually, I wonder if the pirate’s Prius would make it that far on electric alone.
There are two reasons why I think he did NOT write this:
#1: Too many typos.. “…not bing held in contempt…” and “defintion…” I would expect better from a writer.
#2: Too polite. This is one angry dude. I don’t think he could limit himself to more or less polite speech. I would have expected a real rant — but anonymously sent from outside his zip code.
On the other hand. Wow. If he wrote this, the line ” Think about your family and your job” is about the dumbest thing ever put into words by this guy. And that’s some special kinda stupid.
He isn’t denying it, so that’s proof he wrote it if I recall his last feltdown correctly.
You don’t read his blogs much, do you?
The Blob simply does not edit. Not for content, not for grammar, not for spelling. Brain to keyboard to post, no filter, no waiting.
If it had no typos, I wouldn’t believe he wrote it.
Also “books.”
I read nothing he writes except an occasional Schmeltdown. I read a chapter of the truck driver book, and some of the filthy anal fantasy stuff. Of course I listened to the Boys Scouts audio. Just enough to determine he is creepy x 100. If he hasn’t denied it by now, it is either a trap set to snair Hoge, or it’s really from Schmalfeldt.
“Be well.”
Bill might as well have signed the letter with a thumbprint. You could economically mine the tin in his ears.
John,
Very well done! This is even better than, “Everything you just read was bullshit!” Bill Schmalfeldt’s ranting are so self-evidently nonsensical that calling “Bullshit” is granting his words more consideration than they are due.
Oh. My.