In Re a Peace Order

On 9 January, Bill Schmalfeldt filed a motion to dismiss my petition that he be found in contempt for violating the current peace order issued against him. On 27 January, I filed an opposition to his motion.

My opposition speaks for itself, and I do not wish to make any further substantive public comment about my petition or the motion to dismiss until after the court has ruled on them.

UPDATE—I received this in today’s mail.

155 thoughts on “In Re a Peace Order

  1. Game. Set. Match.

    I wasn’t convinced that a pingback would cause much consternation with the judge, but a threatening letter AFTER the violation was filed. Dear God, what a mess.

  2. How unbelievably stoooooooooooopid can one testicle-footed freakshow be?? Why stupid enough to mail threats to a person who has already filed asking the court to enforce a peace order and hold the demented defendant in contempt.

    Never, ever bet the freakshow couldn’t possibly be more stupid – he’ll always prove that he can, and he will.

  3. O!M!G!

    I’ve heard of shooting yourself in the foot, but Bildo, my boy, you just put a bazooka to your temple and pulled the trigger.

    And I just LOVE the Jan 12 postmark, but the date of Jan 15 in the letter. Where did he learn to alter mailing date like that, huh?

    • Heh. Too bad John doesn’t live here in Florida. The letter is a second degree felony here in FL! That’s 15 years in state prison for each threat or extortionate demand.

      • Paul – according to what I linked earlier at avvo, MD has criminal harassment laws too. I’m sure they’ve already been posted here, but I don’t remember where, or the penalties.

        Moot issue anyway, unless John decides to file a complaint. I doubt the judge would do it, especially if she jails the freakshow herself.

  4. Oh, William, William, William.

    You just couldn’t stop yourself, could you?

    Even if you managed to avoid being found in contempt for the pingback, there’s no escaping the letter.

    Enjoy jail, old boy!

  5. A) Extortionate threats / Witness tampering
    2. “Be well” WTF?
    Third: Contact above and beyond nebulous internet vagaries to full on Postal Service harassment!!!

    • Just wait, Paul – he’ll somehow manage to top even this.

      He may have to spend several more hours banging his own demented head into cement, but he’ll manage somehow.

      • He’s started posting again on Twitter.

        He appears to be going for haiku. He’s as good at haiku as he is at the law.

        I’m waiting for him to start one with “There once was a man from Nantucket”

  6. Feldtdown to commence in 3..2..1…

    Unless he’s actually suicidal, which given this letter, who knows?

  7. Think about your family and your job.

    The only thing that could have made this any worse for you, Bill, is if you had cc’d the judge on it.

      • I secretly thought that he might get away with the pingback by playing stupid, but William blew his own balls off with that letter.

        Did we really get into his head to that extent?

  8. I feel like a complete idiot. I had convinced myself that with his ‘radio silence’ he surely had obtained a lawyer.

    This proves that he did not even consult Acme Legal.

      • The lawyer must have agreed to help him throw himself at the mercy of the court. There’s no way a member of the bar would let him do this. Hell, there’s no way any reasonable person wouldn’t try to stop him from doing this.

        Went to go get a quote from the letter. Got this very Schmalfeldtian error message in the Scribd box:

        Error 503 No healthy backends

        No healthy backends

        Guru Mediation:

        Details: cache-jfk1026-JFK 1422483974 493286564

      • Agreed, Gus. I can’t see anything else a lawyer could do, other than speaking for him at the hearing and maybe prevent, or at least lessen, opportunities to make things even worse for himself.

        Again, I have faith – he will top even this.

      • In my experience, advising a client not to do a monumentally stupid thing rarely ends well for the client.

        They want to do the monumentally stupid thing, they’re just asking for legal cover.

  9. Another sterling performance from the senior jurist (NOT!!!) and president for life (think Idi Amin Dada) at Acme Law. Mistook a shotgun for a footlong, slathered it with lots and lots of mayo then inserted it in his usual way and pulled trigger.

  10. I’m going to file criminal charges against you. Be well.
    I’m going to harass your family. Be well.
    I’m going to falsely accuse your son of a crime. Be well.
    I’m going to contact your employer and accuse you of copyright fraud. Be well.
    I’m going to put a voodoo curse on you. Be well.
    I’m going to photoshop your spouse onto a giant cactus penis. Be well.
    I’m going to post photos of your daughters. Be well.
    I’m going to post your address and court sealed documents on my blog so that jihadis know where to find you and your wife. Be well!

  11. Noting for the record: prisons can and do accommodate the disabled. So, that’s not going to fly as any kind of “get out of jail free” excuse.

    Just saying….

    • Heh. One of my fellow felons at Federal Prison Camp-Pensacola had a heart transplant while I was there … he spent three months in a wheelchair with an assigned inmate as his ‘driver’ and he worked in the law library every day. After my heart attack (and emplacement of five cardiac stents) the remaining two months of my prison stay was as a disabled prisoner, no job assignment, confined to the grounds, no housekeeping duties just watch TV in the dayroom, go to the chow hall (head of the line pass) and read in my bunk. Prisons and jails accommodate the ill and disabled all the time.

  12. Friday will be interesting and a little heartbreaking….. I’ve been working since November 2014 running down EVERY SINGLE claim Bill has made online about his military service and researching the hell out of them. It may all be for not if Billy goes away to jail.

    And what a trove….

    14 pages (and counting….) of my research typed in size 11 font IN MS Word, dozens of photographs and scans, copies of material from the Department of the Navy and HQ Marines, more than 37 cited sources of information….. and my second NPRC request coming back in a few weeks with his DD-214 and some additional Navy records (oh the juicy details)!!

    Bill…. let me say…. some of your adventurous claims….. you’re screwed.

    Totally screwed.


  13. Well, it’s been an hour and a half since the response was posted and William hasn’t denied he wrote the letter, so ….

      • Or an admission of guilt. Isn’t that how it works? John doesn’t deny that his son sent a “death threat” within an hour, ergo the son sent a threat.

        Even better, the judge that’s going to reviewing all of this has already been publicly referred to by William as a Luddite and a moron.

  14. You know, on second thought, I believe the Cabin Boy sent this letter as part of a RICO conspiracy to drive traffic to Hogewash! and increase his ranking in SEO algorithms.

    And John, you played right into his hands, you fool!

    • Increase whose traffic?

      People knowing to put on protection before visiting Bill’s Slovenian Manure Fest?

      Seriously, that RICO could work just as well against Bill, if it weren’t for Hoge documenting things most of us would not have heard of the tub-o-mayo.

  15. Is the rest of the pirate crew worried that one of there members appears to certainly be headed for a stay at the government’s pleasure?
    Will they be worried that in an attempt to mitigate any further actions against himself, he may decide to roll over on them?
    As they frequently accused people of things they themselves actually do, will “rolling over on your friends” be just another example?

    Time to make some more beef jerky…

  16. I love it when he proves me right. World’s Stupidest Man™

    Congratulations Bill. Old pedo Kimberlin was breathing down you neck but you managed to surge FAR into the lead with that letter.

  17. At first I thought you meant that he was trying to pass off the letter as being a year old but now I see that it’s just a typo in your opposition.

  18. In the spirit of wishing Billy good tidings, one of my progeny made me aware of a website that has potentially interesting gift ideas, not that I would expect any Lickspittles to take advantage of such product offerings, or anything:

  19. My vote for the excuse is “Perfectly acceptable contact concerning a legal issue”.

    Nope, nope, nope. That’s what YOUR ATTORNEY is for.

    • He will claim it is ok to send because ‘pro se’ permits him. I am not as concerned that he made contact but the content is U F B.

  20. Wow.

    I don’t think Bill Schmalfeldt could have done more damage to his cause than if he mooned the judge in open court.

    And major props to Our Esteemed Mr. Hoge for gently laying out Schmalfeldt’s letter as “additional contact” without foreshadowing the blatant (to this layperson’s eye) criminal threats and extortion. I expect that this is going to be read as “blah blah blah, yah I already know that, no grounds, yeah yah unwanted contact, blah blah signatures, um… HOLY MOTHER OF %&&#%$!!!”


    Before seeing this, I expected that the only “punishment” Bill Schmalfeldt would suffer is being forced to come out in the cold. Now, I’ll be very surprised if he doesn’t spend at least the weekend in jail.

    Can you imagine the hilarity when (as is very likely) the judge sits down at the bench at the time of the hearing to find this sitting in front of him to read? Oh, man, it’s really gonna suck to be Bill Schmalfeldt on Friday!

  21. How about the judge, for BS’ own protection, sentences him to jail until the next day that reaches a safe temperature? Say, at least 40 or 50 Fahrenheit?

  22. Bill all you had to do was leave Mr. Hoge alone. But you couldn’t do that could you? I doubt the judge is going to have sympathy toward your situation. What happens behind those cell doors is a fate of your own making. You have nobody to blame but yourself. Prepare yourself Oedipal Bill, judgement awaits you.

  23. I got a handle on Bill’s future tweets:

    Glazed and Contused @weltschmerz2015 · very soon

    This is the end
    Beautiful friend
    This is the end
    My only friend, the end

    Of our elaborate plans, the end
    Of everything that stands, the end
    No safety or surprise, the end
    I’ll never look into your eyes…again

  24. And:

    Glazed and Contused @weltschmerz2015 · about 36 hours

    I’m a loser
    I’m a loser
    And I’m not what I appear to be

    What have I done to deserve such a fate
    I realize I have left it too late
    And so it’s true, pride comes before a fall
    I’m telling you so that you won’t lose all

  25. I don’t think he’ll drop a dime on anyone. Why?

    “There’s a tugboat, huh, huh, down by the river don’tcha know
    Where a cement bag’s just a’drooppin’ on down
    Oh, that cement is just, it’s there for the weight, dear
    Five’ll get ya ten old Macky’s back in town
    Now d’ja hear ’bout Louie Miller? He disappeared, babe
    After drawin’ out all his hard-earned cash
    And now MacHeath spends just like a sailor
    Could it be our boy’s done somethin’ rash?”

  26. Witless, Witlesser. Schmalfeldtian.

    I seem to have some recollection (perhaps mistaken of course) that legal correspondence was to be sent to our host’s designated legal representative.

    I wonder if someone is relishing the opportunity to have certain orifices well stretched and took out an insurance policy so as not to miss out on any fun.

    • Can he think that far in advance? Wouldn’t he have to know, in advance, what part of his cycle he would be in?

    • Umm, there is no constitutional right to have those. Those are services provided to you by somebody. They can yank them at any moment. Just sayin’.

      The lolz, they just keep coming!

      • But, but, but, what about his right to pursue happiness?? It makes him happy to harass, stalk, torment, and generally pursue others!

  27. Well, I was pretty sure there was no way he was going to get jailed from this hearing. The BM’s going to need to remember to ask “jelly or syrup?”

  28. Even Bill’s crappy retorts aren’t up, er down, to his usual “standards”:

    Glazed and Contused @weltschmerz2015 · 30m 30 minutes ago
    You are what you are, Perry.

    Uh, yea.

  29. I’ve seen you do some really dumb shit over the last 4 years or so, Sir QuakesALot. But this is your pièce de résistance.

    Until you out-stupid yourself next week.

    You should wear your newly acquired jail outfit to court.


  30. I’m not saying anyone would do such a diabolical thing, but…

    With self adhesive stamps and envelopes and a plethora of signature examples online, and a buddy or two or three in Laurel, MD, who knows what could happen?.

  31. There are two reasons why I think he did NOT write this:
    #1: Too many typos.. “…not bing held in contempt…” and “defintion…” I would expect better from a writer.
    #2: Too polite. This is one angry dude. I don’t think he could limit himself to more or less polite speech. I would have expected a real rant — but anonymously sent from outside his zip code.

    On the other hand. Wow. If he wrote this, the line ” Think about your family and your job” is about the dumbest thing ever put into words by this guy. And that’s some special kinda stupid.

    • You don’t read his blogs much, do you?

      The Blob simply does not edit. Not for content, not for grammar, not for spelling. Brain to keyboard to post, no filter, no waiting.

      If it had no typos, I wouldn’t believe he wrote it.

      • I read nothing he writes except an occasional Schmeltdown. I read a chapter of the truck driver book, and some of the filthy anal fantasy stuff. Of course I listened to the Boys Scouts audio. Just enough to determine he is creepy x 100. If he hasn’t denied it by now, it is either a trap set to snair Hoge, or it’s really from Schmalfeldt.

  32. “Be well.”

    Bill might as well have signed the letter with a thumbprint. You could economically mine the tin in his ears.

  33. John,

    Very well done! This is even better than, “Everything you just read was bullshit!” Bill Schmalfeldt’s ranting are so self-evidently nonsensical that calling “Bullshit” is granting his words more consideration than they are due.

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