Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

This exchange occurred when The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin put me on the stand as his witness during the Kimberlin v. Walker, et al. nuisance lawsuit that he lost last August.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Have you filed any, do you know a reporter named, or an individual named Bill Schmalfeldt?

MR. HOGE: Yes.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Have you filed 367 criminal charges —

MR. OSTRONIC [my lawyer]: Objection.

MR. KIMBERLIN: — against Bill Schmalfeldt?

THE COURT: Sustained. That is the most leading question I have ever heard.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Okay, have you filed any charges against Bill Schmalfeldt?

MR. OSTRONIC: I’m still going to object.

THE COURT: Sustained. You can’t tell the person the answer to the question in the question.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Okay, okay —

THE COURT: That’s what a leading question is.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Do you know Bill Schmalfeldt?

MR. HOGE: Yes.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Have you ever filed any charges against him?

MR. HOGE: Yes.

MR. OSTRONIC: Objection.

THE COURT: Overruled.

MR. KIMBERLIN: How many?

MR. HOGE: It’s some place north of 360 for multiple violations of a peace order.

MR. KIMBERLIN: So 367 criminal charges. My question what were the results, simple question were they nolle prossed?

MR. HOGE: At my request.

MR. KIMBERLIN: And you filed, why did you file, what got Mr. Schmalfeldt on your —

MR. OSTRONIC: Objection, Your Honor, this can’t be — defamation of him.

THE COURT: Sustained. What does Mr. Schmalfeldt have to do with this?

MR. KIMBERLIN: Okay, I’m only trying to show that these individuals attack anyone who supports me. He’s a reporter. He wrote a story —

MR. OSTRONIC: Objection.

THE COURT: Well that’s not a cause of action.

MR. KIMBERLIN: Okay, and what happens?

THE COURT: It’s not a cause of action whether they – – even if they did that it’s not a cause of action.

MR. KIMBERLIN: It goes to malice. It goes to malice, Judge.

THE COURT: For someone else to be, no. Ask another question, if you have one.

TDPK tried to convince the court that my efforts to have a peace order enforced against Bill Schmalfeldt was proof of malice against Kimberlin.

155 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. “Referred Butthurt”. I think I’ve recently heard the exact same legal “strategy” mentioned elsewhere recently……

    I just can’t remember where……………..

    • you mean the teenage copyrighted pictures of Eric’s kids in countrys and states that expressly forbid what Bill is saying to do? Forwarded this to the Howard County Detective, who is researching the audio child rape porn – he wants to know if any pictures of underage children were ever posted against their parents wishes – go to the secret place to get his email address……..

    • “Another note is that during the hearing Mr. Kim argued that Hoge wasn’t a journalist because he insulted Schmalfeldt in his reporting.
      The interesting thing is that if insults means Hoge is not a journalist, then Schmalfeldt really isn’t one. For instance, once Schmalfeldt wrote that Hoge was being paid to file these charges against him (he is not), and that it allowed him to buy something to comb out the “poop flakes” from his beard. And Kim actually did specifically say his client was as bad as Hoge was on this count. I would argue he is worse.

      So you have it straight from Schmalfeldt’s own lawyer: he is not a journalist.”

  2. BS is a stalking horse for BK. He at times uses the reporter ruse to find out useful info for BK. Or maybe to do something useful for BK like publish something he received from an “anonymous” tipster. Sometimes in his legal follies he is a trial balloon (see what I did there?) that is used to practice certain legal strategies or arguments. So, he might do something to one of BKs targets that BK has accused his targets of (say copyright violation) and then BK uses some of the arguments that are used against BK against the target.

    BS is also used to draw charges, muddy waters, and poison wells. By being a total ass, he invites response in kind. So, when people just quote him they sound like horrible people for repeating what he said. And if they respond by being mean? Well, that is something to point at and say look, they are big old meanies! He is such an awful person that anyone who comes into contact with his presence with no prior knowledge takes a look and says this is so crazy I want no part and I will avoid it. Just crazy people arguing on the Internet. All that butt stuff is just to make things the worse the better. Make things so awful that people will turn away.

    And being a hypocrite is not something that he is ashamed of. Of course he wants to shame you for including family, but he is going to go after your family. It isn’t a threat that he will withhold that awfulness. The awfulness is useful, so he is going to do it regardless.

  3. So it’s in the court record that
    a) Bill Schmalfeldt is a supporter of Brett Kimberlin; and
    b) the 367 charges for violating the Peace Order were nolle prossed at Our Gracious Yet Overly Patient Host’s Request.


  4. EVERYTHING in the universe is about Brett Kimberlin- FOCUS!!! Even the Magnanimous Host’s pretty pictures of nebulae are, in fact, about Kimberlin. When a Somali pirate scratches a buttcheek, its about Kimberlin. When a rickshaw driver in Rangoon pops a zit, its about Kimberlin. When a Koala in the Moscow zoo admires the pile of poo he just left . . . . you get the picture.

      • As if William would insist on fighting 367 (THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY SEVEN) criminal charges. I’m sure it took quite an arm-twisting to get him to “agree” to that mediation session.

    • Gently to the pathetic fool: The charges didn’t go poof upon agreement to enter into mediation – still required: request for dismissal of the charges.

  5. William the Elder
    The charges were NOT dismissed at Hoge’s request. They were dismissed because we both agreed to a mediation. #perjury
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
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    12:46 PM – 16 Jan 2015

    Let’s assume that William’s telling the truth, which he’s genetically incapable of doing. He’s still a dipshit who doesn’t have a clue what #perjury actually is.

    For a statement to be perjurous, it has to be material to the case. How were William’s nearly 400 violations of a peace order material to Kimberlin’s claim in the state nuisance suit?

    They weren’t, which further demonstrates that Schmalfeldt is an ignoramus of almost magnificent proportions. Small wonder the folks at Avvo mock him so.

    • It also has to be false no?
      Saying it was “at Hoge’s request” isn’t exactly false. BK never asked why Hoge requested it (which I’m sure our host would have said “as part of a mediation agreement.”)

      I mean FFS, words having meanings.

  6. Hey, Shakey. You don’t read very well for a “journalist.”

    Take it REAL slow.

    MR. KIMBERLIN: So 367 criminal charges. My question what were the results, simple question were they nolle prossed?

    MR. HOGE: At my request.

    Professor Hoge never said HE dismissed them.

    See the difference? FUGGIN’ DUMMY, you.

  7. If William Matthew Schmalfeldt ever tried telling the truth, he’d have a stroke, so unused to that process is his brain circuitry.

  8. “I just don’t see a circumstance where I’m held in contempt. Certainly no jail time, and no fine. A good talking-to, perhaps. But that’s it.”

    — William Smellfart, Attorney at Law

  9. So incredibly stupid:

    If the person who filed a complaint does not agree to drop their complaint, mediation has no effect at all. Geeeeez… of course a defendant wants charges dropped, it’s the complainant’s preference that matters.

    I started to wonder how someone so stupid manages to find his way to the bathroom… but he doesn’t, does he? hahahaha

  10. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 22m 22 minutes ago
    The charges were NOT dismissed at Hoge’s request. They were dismissed because we both agreed to a mediation. #perjury

    And thus dies the “the state threw out 367 charges” lie.

    Keep talking Willy.

  11. Young William’s idiot position regarding Ye Olde Peace Order Crime Spree of ’13 raises an interesting question.

    If he was so awesomely innocent that the moon, the stars and all the planets couldn’t stop smiling upon him, why would the DA ask for mediation at all? Why not just unilaterally nolle prosse the charges?

    Because William wasn’t as innocent as he so amusingly contends.

    • Another excellent point! hahaha

      He just can’t help telling on himself, can he? No matter how carefully he crafts a lie, no matter how long he sticks with it, no matter how ardently enthralled he is with the lie, he will ultimately make clear that it is indeed yet another LIE. hahaha

  12. “Dear AVVO,

    I violated a peace order nearly 400 times, and now I’m pretending that my victim said he dismissed all the charges himself.

    Can he go to jail for this? If not, can I re-enact the final scene from “…And Justice For All”? Pacino was fine, and everything, but it would be more compelling if a corpulent cripple did all of that yelling.

    Elkridge, MD”

  13. From one of the many versions of Bill recent opus Motion To Dismiss:

    HOGE convinced the Court Commissioner through duplicity and twisting of facts to suit his narrative that SCHMALFELDT had committed 367 (three hundred sixty seven) crimes, mostly for violations of the peace order. The Carroll County State’s Attorney deemed each charge nolle prosequi

    Oh dear, in light of his most recent admission, it seems Bill has lied in his filing to the court.

    Things just keep getting worse for Bill.

    • See, William? That’s directly material to the peace orders you’ve repeatedly violated, and is therefore a material misstatement.

      In case you were curious, That’s perjury!

      • If William had any shame at all, he’d be embarrassed to have a foreigner lecturing him about his ignorance of U.S law.

      • Schmalfeldt has so many versions of the same event that he can’t keep his story straight. Not that he cares.


      “Nolle prosequi (/ˌnɒli ˈprɒsəkwaɪ/;[1] Classical Latin: [ˈnolːe ˈproːsekwiː]) is legal term of art and a Latin legal phrase meaning “be unwilling to pursue”,[2] a phrase amounting to “do not prosecute”. It is a phrase used in many common law criminal prosecution contexts to describe a prosecutor’s decision to voluntarily discontinue criminal charges either before trial or before a verdict is rendered.[3] It contrasts with an involuntary dismissal.”

      “Application in law[edit]
      Nolle prosequi as a declaration is most often used in criminal cases, but in jurisdictions making use of nolle prosequi in civil lawsuits, is used by a plaintiff to voluntarily drop its claims.”

      “Involuntary dismissal is the termination of a court case despite the plaintiff’s objection.”

      RIF. RESEARCH is fundamental.

    • Cabin Boy commits actual perjury repeatedly but is too stupid to realize that he contradicts himself, and establishes the perjury, with his own words.

  14. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 5m 5 minutes ago
    …presented by travel, and that Hoge never gave an indication that he had changed his mind. Her response? “Oh, my God.” If THIS time…

    And does she work Christmas Eves too?

  15. William the Elder
    In happier news, I have a doctor’s appointment Monday morning. Very short of breath on minor exertion. No chest pain, though. Will get…
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    1:38 PM – 16 Jan 2015

    Wait for it … wait for it…

    I get a feeling that “You’re Killing Me Bill” is getting ready for a return engagement! And, of all William’s multiple personalities, that one’s my favorite!

    • Well, now that it’s established that he lied in his MTD, he better start looking at other options. You don’t get much more cut-and-dried perjury than this.

      • That’s a clear material misstatement, unlike William’s constant howling about other people’s supposed perjury.

        On the other hand, the power of his JOURNALISM might be so strong that he doesn’t have to know the definition of words like “request.”

      • Mine too, Gus. And when he figures out the judge may very well throw him in jail for 10 days or so just for that one stoooopid lie in his pleadings, can “I’m dying” be far behind?

        • Speaking of which, it’s almost close of business in Maryland and William’s not gloating about a call from the Doublemint Clerks telling him how impressed the judge was with his fabulous motions.

          In a tin-can in Elkridge, a heart is breaking.

  16. “When the clerk asked if I had attended the August 27 peace order hearing, I told her ‘No, because the petitioner assured me he was not going to pursue his appeal.'”
    “Her response? ‘Oh, my God.'”

    — William Smellfart, Attorney at Law

      • Anyone who has to deal with the general public learns very quickly how to say things which mean nothing, but which make the listener feel good so that said listener will go away happy, and more importantly Leave. You. Alone.

        This would appear to be a very experienced pair of court clerks.

    • It probably suddenly occured to her which case she was dealing with, as in “Oh my God, its that whackjob that is a cheerleader for the convited terrorist and pedophile Brett Kimberlin! We’ve been laughing about this case in the lunchroom for MONTHS!!!”

    • “Her response? ‘Oh, my God.'”

      Left unsaid: “You were informed about a court hearing to which you were a party and didn’t bother to show up? You sure are stoopid!”

    • We also had a call to the Copyright office, the NPF, the Fed to Fed, the FBI times six, the IRS under stranahan, the deputy police chief of Detectives in Dallas, The Ashland Police Chief, the Racine Police Chief, The Henry County CID, the Amazon Bureau of unfair Reviews, The Howard, Caroll and Goofy county States Attorneys offices and Police departments and my Favorite the Slovenia Capital Police Interpol Unit

    • He left out “if I kept certain promises”. The promise of Mr. Hoge was conditioned on Bill’s promises.

      • Or not even “promises” – simply a course of conduct he said he was going to undertake. It became apparent he didn’t mean to keep to that course of conduct.

  17. William the Elder
    …hitting their knees and praying for God to strike me down.) Hey, if I get a clot in the heart or brain, wish granted!
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
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    1:41 PM – 16 Jan 2015

    Didn’t Howard just say something about happy endings?

  18. “If THIS time the judge actually READS my motions I’m told I’ll get a phone call advising me of the decision. Whatever. I will be prepared. Boy, Howdy!”

    — William Smellfart, Attorney at Law

    • Has anyone ever heard of a party to a case getting a phone call from the court and/or judge to notify them of the judge’s decision?

      He really should do some research to make his lies at least a bit plausible.

      • Nope. Never.

        Judges don’t read motions until they absolutely, positively have to. They rely on their law clerks to clear the decks, first.

      • Don’t practice in those courts but no court has given phone notice of a decision in my experience. In days before electronic filing, some courts gave a recording for decisions but haven’t seen that since the ’90’s.

      • But the bowel movement is a special snowflake, and government bodies will instantly bend to his will, and if he says they need to phone him, by God, they phone him! /sarc

        This could be another case of the clerks letting him think what he wants to make him go away.

  19. William the Elder
    But I’m sure that if it turns out that I’m correct, it will be just one more horrible injustice committed by a liberal state. Right?
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
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    2:16 PM – 16 Jan 2015

    And if you’re wrong, there’ll be no end to the insults you throw at the judge.

    Of course, that assumes you survive ten minutes in jail, which you won’t.

    • “…And if when it’s thoroughly proven to the degree inanimate objects are aware enough to understand you’re wrong, there’ll be no end to the insults you throw at the judge. …”


  20. “Most of this stuff is written simply enough that lickspittles can grasp it.”

    — William Smellfart, Attorney at Law

    • Well, he is so much smarter than we are. You don’t wind up with this much experience with courts across america because you’re stupid.

      Oh, wait …

      • Think about it, though, Neal. He no doubt enjoys all of the interaction with real people. Plus, the court staff has to treat him as if he’s human. That doesn’t happen much, even within his own trailer.

      • And on top of that, he gets to feel like he’s a sooper geenyus (like now) until the court slaps him down AGAIN.

    • Oh, we understand it well. We’ve not only read the law, we’ve have had real lawyers who wasted all of that time and money going to law school explain it to us. hahaha

  21. Without tipping him off to the actual law regarding peace orders – can he really be so stupid as to have no understanding of the court’s inherent authority that would allow the court to jail him regardless of the motion before it?

    • Oh, Neal! I just thought of the epic habeas corpus petition he’d file from jail… LOL LOL Have we been good enough to get such a pleading?

      • Up until now, I’ve been part of the chorus hoping he’d get a real attorney, tell the lawyer the actual truth, and follow the lawyer’s advice. But man oh man, a habeas corpus from jail would be so incredibly FUN…

        I retract all I’ve said about how he really needs a lawyer. He’s doing just great on his own. It’s just plain English, after all. It’s not like there are rules of procedure, case law, federal code, state and local statutes along with regulations and other authorities, and the interplay of all of these sources, to consider. hahahahahaha

        Oh please, please, please, let there be a jailhouse habeas corpus petition!

      • “Dear AVVO,

        A Luddite idiot judge might steal my corpse for violating a peace order hundreds (100s) of times over the past two years.

        Will that make me a zombie?

        Elkridge, MD”

  22. One of us should create a page with all of William’s tweets while he’s still in his “Schmalfeldt Uber Alles” persona. It’ll be neat to have when “You’re Killing Me Bill” comes back to us.

  23. My hands are kind of full with household chores at the moment — so, would one of you kind Lickspittles mind closing a window, or shutting a door, or something?

    The fear pee emanating from a certain tincan in Elkridge, MD is wafting through Hogewash!, and it’s starting to stink things up a tad around here.



      So that’s what’s causing the stench. I thought one of the pets had an accident. Should have known the pets don’t smell that bad.

  24. “Now, shall we discuss the merits of calling me “John Wayne Gacy” who enjoys blowing up small children with explosive devices? […]”

    Bill, no one said you enjoy blowing up small children with explosive devices.

    That’s Brett Coleman Kimberlin being referenced…

    No, I suspect you’re more like Fat Bastard, “I’m bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly.”

    Run, kids!!!!!eleventy!!

    (Hi, Cousin Bill! Suggest you review Gacy’s history, Cousin…)

  25. …peace order hearing, I told her “No, because the petitioner assured me he was not going to pursue his appeal.” I explained the challenges…
    …presented by travel, and that Hoge never gave an indication that he had changed his mind.

    Travel challenges, Blob? You’ve already told us you went somewhere else. This sounds like a prioritization issue. Try again, doofus.

      • If Mr. Grady acts quickly, Maryland could – at least in theory – hold William until the unpleasantness is Illinois is settled. The Full Faith and Credit Clause of your Constitution obligates the states to honor one another’s judgements, no?

        I’m not as sure about the American law on this, and I understand that it varies from state to state, but in most jurisdiction, a spouse could be made to pay off a judgement if the primary debtor can’t or won’t.

      • That and the fact that Maryland law enforcement told Patrick that they would honor any Illinois order. I’m sure the folks in Howard County have no problem with Bill Schmalfeldt being extradited to another state. They might have a problem with Bill Schmalfeldt eventually returning to Maryland.

      • Just imagine if the Cook County court notifies the Carroll County court of William’s failure to satisfy a stalking order just as Carroll County prepares to hear his showing of cause in violating a peace order.


        It’s too bad that William’s children are above the age of majority and not speaking to him. One of the things I learned from the saga of O.J Simpson is that Florida has what it calls a “Head of Household Act.” Long story short, that means that a creditor cannot auction the home where minor children reside to satisfy a judgement.

        Also, Florida’s not as cold in January.


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