Prank Calls?

Apparently, Bill Schmalfeldt is aware of prank phone calls that have come to my home phone line.@weltschmerz2015|201501142016ZHmmmm.

I suppose I should check the voice mail for that line when I get back to Westminster to see what’s there.

UPDATE—After checking the voice mail on that line, it appears that calls from at least 10 different local numbers were received within a brief period yesterday afternoon. Calls placed to those numbers resulted in denials that any legitimate calls had originated from them.

292 thoughts on “Prank Calls?

    • Notice the cited email came from a contact form on his website. Just like the bogus death threats last time that self resolved to his own computer IP address.
      If John or his son visited that fever-swamp their IP address would be hearlded and trumpeted by Bill as proof that John stalks him!!!eleventy!1.
      Bogus BS artist. Bill is attempting to pull a con on the court. He is in no way even a little bit adept at it. All cons eventually get caught (as I well know) but his attempt is so transparent and self-serving (as well as thoroughly unbelievable) his career as a con artist will be still-born.
      The reason all cons fail and get caught eventually? The truth will out.

  1. Reminds me of a certain diminutive boom-maker directing investigators to the site of a weapon buried in a location that was supposed to divert attention from himself. Members of Team Kimberlin display a high degree of clairvoyance!

    • I believe the community should be using facts like that one to reopen the investigation into the Julia Scyphers murder. There is no applicable statute of limitations so Brett Kimberlin could still potentially be prosecuted for his role in the murder.

  2. You know who could have sent him the poop and the email? Lester Klemper. He is a mendacious coward, I hear.

  3. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 9m 9 minutes ago
    @WhoIsNumberNone The Lickspittles are already claiming I sent it to myself.

    We aren’t “claiming” you sent it, we are merely pointing out the fact that you sent it.

    How do we know that to be a fact? Simple, nobody else is dumb enough to have done it. And you have a long history of sending these kind of messages to yourself.

  4. Like I said on the other thread, I don’t think the Elkridge Horror sent the email to himself. I suspect it was one of his buddies acting as an agent provocateur. Which one? Take your pick – Neal, whoisnumbernone, Bunny Boy, liberaluniverse – could have been any of them.

    • Nah, they don’t need to be so sneaky, look at Bill’s TL today. They’re right out in the open provoking a rather spittle-flecked Feldtdown.

      Ever notice none of them have EVER said to Bill, “Dude, why don’t you just ignore the guy. Your already in pretty deep.”

      Yep, great friends.

    • He did it. He went from “anonymous” to “it’s Hoge IV” in seconds, with no proof, and proceeded to explain how he would attempt to use the email to attempt to derail Hoge’s case.

      • Blob is beyond desperate.

        January 30th is looming, and he is terrified… and, with good reason. He is grasping at anything his pea-sized brain can think of to get out of having to attend that court hearing.

        And, in true BM fashion… he’s going to shoot himself in the foot in the process.

  5. He should call the cops and report it. Immediately. Oh, that’s right, he won’t because he’s lying.

    William the Elder ‏@weltschmerz2015
    @MJanovic @WhoIsNumberNone …his son sends me a death threat because I made an oblique reference to “two can play this game” where…
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
    2:08 PM – 14 Jan 2015

    • BS has accused Hoge IV of a crime. He either believes it, or he’s just engaging in libel. I guess he wants to spend more time at the courthouse. It’s a good thing his symptoms are so much better.

      • And that Hoge IV is not a resident of Florida … where that (falsely accusing someone of a crime) is a felony (Criminal Libel) and as a class 2 felony, punishable by up to 15 years in the state pen … un-air conditioned, un-heated prisons. Under the recently re-elected Republican Attorney General Pam Bondi, inmates must serve a minimum of 85% of the maximum sentence before any parole review.

  6. I’m certain the Hard Drive Subpoena Department is going to get right on this caper. Blob will vindicated, the courts will proclaim him a Model Citizen and the Mayor will give him a key to the city of Elkridge by the end of this episode!


  7. He’s said this before, when he sued Krendler last summer.

    “William the Elder @weltschmerz2015
    They think Daddy Hoge will protect them like he did Krendler, but when push comes to shove and I ask for …IP records, we’ll see how generous Hoge is then.”


  8. If Schmalfeldt had actual evidence that pointed to the Hoge household (like the IP of the submitter), he’d have posted it.

  9. Yes, my thought is that he should seek psychiatric help immediately.

    William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 ·
    @WhoIsNumberNone @MJanovic Is Hoggy admitting that the e-mail came from his son?

    .@WhoIsNumberNone @MJanovic If that is what Hoge is saying, that gives me the leave I need to call the cops. Thoughts?

  10. You know who the second shooter was on the Grassy Knoll? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!
    You know who sacked the Library at Alexandria? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!
    You know who poisoned Alexander the Great? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!
    You know who really stabbed Caesar? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!
    You know who caused the Black Death, aka, The Plague? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!
    You know the real identity of DB Cooper? It’s HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!

  11. Because he’s been accusing his son and drawing cartoons about him all afternoon?

    ” William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 5m 5 minutes ago
    @MJanovic @WhoIsNumberNone How would he know I was writing to his son, based on what he pasted? Tacit admission?”

    How did this man survive past childhood? Roy?

  12. Why, it seems as though it was only Friday that William filed a sworn declaration that asserted that he was terrified of his own mailbox, but what could be construed as an actual death threat gets little more than a “meh” and some mockery.


  13. Because he read BS’s entire timeline, like the rest of us? This is a perfect example of BS in action. Lying about others and accusing them of crimes.

    “Based on what he posted from what I wrote, how did Hoge make the assumption that I was talking about his bouncing baby boy?” 2:51 PM – 14 Jan 2015

    • Exactly. It was obvious from almost the first of the BM’s tweets about this purported email that he was accusing John’s son of sending it.

      But then he doesn’t think any of us are capable of figuring out things like this and making those logical connections; even though we may have post graduate degrees and work in intellectually demanding fields, we just can’t beat out good ol’ BM with his HS diploma in the intelligence department.

      Or was that just a GED? He’s never told us. Guys didn’t need to be high school graduates to enlist back in his day.

  14. Whaaaaaaaaaaa???

    William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 21m 21 minutes ago
    .@MJanovic @WhoIsNumberNone How would he know I was writing to his son, based on what he pasted? Tacit admission?

    Because you wrote this 4 hours ago?

    William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 3h 3 hours ago
    An anonymous e-mail. How do I know whose mumsie or dadsie not to mock? Izzat you, IV? Gonna get me with your GUN?

    Are you drunk, Bill? It’s a “tacit admission” by you, you blithering idiot.

  15. I presume Acme means “an admission against interest,” inasmuch (one word) as that is the correct term.
    ” William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 21s 21 seconds ago
    Is This an Admission Against Self Interest? … #hogwash”

  16. Remember 11 months ago when Bill had John arrested?

    Bill Schmalfeldt@VeryBadRadio 11 months ago

    The state’s attorney’s office and I have already spoken. The entire matter is out of my hands. If Hoge has charges he wants to file, file em

    Me neither.

  17. The 30th just got much more interesting. William, in his endless Williamness, left a trail of tweets (which I presume have been saved) not taking a death threat seriously to be compared to a sworn oath that he’s afraid of the mail.

    But I’m sure he has his reasons. Maybe he was traumatized by The Postman Always Rings Twice, because I’m sure that he’d never tell a fib under oath. Why, that would be naughty!

  18. I guaranDAMNtee you that even WhoIsNumberNone is scratching his head and thinking, “Man, this Schmalfeldt guy is a FUGGIN’ idiot.”

    After reading;
    “Hoge’s blog post made the connection. How did he know I was talking about him?”

  19. “Objection, your honor. Irrelevant.”

    William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 7s 8 seconds ago
    And then, there’s the placing of Hoge under oath and asking him if his son sent the threat. @WhoIsNumberNone

  20. I’m surprised BS hasn’t posted the visitor’s log from his site. It was supposedly sent by a form on his site, right? There should be a matching IP for a visitor at that time. Even if the IP is just a VPN address, it tells us something…

  21. I assume if the police appear at our host’s door, he’ll have a printout of William’s twitter tirade of this afternoon ready for them, along with a copy of the peace order.

    It never will get any harder to make him dance, will it?

    • If the police appear at our Gentle Host’s door, what a way for John and his family to have to spend an evening after being out-and-about in the world all day being productive and contributing —

      … while an envious, angry, lazy leech sits around in his tincan all day, in gravy-stained pajamas, thinking of ways to irritate, harass, and intimidate a victim of his relentless and targeted campaign of deranged cyberstalking.

      Bill Schmalfeldt, and his sociopathic behavior, need to be stopped.

      • We scream at William to call the cops on the Hoges, and he does it, without a thought in the world about how that will look in light of the peace order and the contempt hearing.

        This is almost too easy, although still FUN!

        I wonder what else we can get him to do?

  22. “I would like to use this email as the official police report.”

    “No need to come out on such a cold night.”



  23. Oopsie poopsie, Bill. It says nothing about “Ghost in the Machine”. It says “ghostintheshell”. Anyway…that just shows that you TRIED to do your homework before your transparent set-up attempt.

    • Bill hides behind the cold, hard truth:

      William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 7m 7 minutes ago
      Or, it means I have no idea what the fucking thing is and used the wrong name.

      “Guys, I’m just a freaking moron. Give me a break!”

      • Must be terrible to have a memory so bad that one can’t remember the name of the anime one used to try to set up one’s arch-rival’s son. After what? A couple of hours?

        Anyway…you don’t know what it is but somehow you are able to figure out that Ghost in the Shell is the name of a manga franchise.

  24. Nothing makes me smile quite like someone under order to show cause acting like a prosecutor. It’s a delight!

  25. Also posted at TMZ: There is a nomination on the floor at FUPP – could use your input/vote when you’re done here. 🙂

    And for someone to clean it up.

  26. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 11m 11 minutes ago
    Owain changed his name to @/waraiotoko, now being used by some guy in Japan. @WhoIsNumberNone

    Really Bill? You want to go THERE?

    ‘Cause this could take a while…..

    Whatever happened to “RadioWiseGuy”……





    • Shame it is so cold out over there. Or I’m sure Inspector Jiggles would have the fine young officer over for some good old-fashioned investigating and sweat pants micturating.

      • “You see, officer, there’s this Japanese Cartoon, and Hoge IV plays video games. Do I have to spell it out for you?

        Hey, where are you going?”

  27. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 4m 4 minutes ago
    And who is a character in Ghost in the Shell? So, putting the pieces together…

    And once again the idiot “puts the pieces together” AFTER he accuses someone of a crime (libel) AND allegedly files a police report

    • Why not? He was filing pleadings before he decided to try figuring out the law. On multiple occasions.

      That lad has zero impulse control. None. No wonder his children don’t talk to him. Can you imagine what growing up around that must have been like before there was an internet to keep Dear Old Dad distracted and dancing?

    • Well, that’s what has to happen when the set-up attempt is laughed at. You have to then throw the proof you have suddenly gathered out there for everyone to see.

      It’s amazing how quickly one becomes familiar with a subject when the use of said subject as an attempt at intimidation doesn’t work out quite the way one planned. One minute he doesn’t know what anime is and the next he can string together a trail of breadcrumbs that all lead back to a suspicion he once had! of course, he still doesn’t have any evidence that he was correct about the identity of @WaraiOtoko.

    • This. Will. Not. End. Well. For. Blob.

      To demonstrate this degree of knee-jerk stupidity with a pending “Show Cause” hearing for contempt facing him is beyond mind boggling.

      Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

  28. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 4m 4 minutes ago
    Interesting, innit? That the person I thought might be Hoge’s kid assumes a character name from Ghost in the Shell, and I get an e-mail…

    William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 3m 3 minutes ago
    …from someone using a phony “ ” emaill address making threats? I tie the threats to Hoge’s kid,… @WhoIsNumberNone

    William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 2m 2 minutes ago
    …and Hoge practically confirms it on his blog tonight. Interesting discussion, should there be a hearing Jan. 30th. @WhoIsNumberNone

    Bill’s circular reasoning is circular…..

    • Oh, there will be a hearing on January 30th, because a judge ordered the cyberstalker to show cause why he should not be held in contempt. He may chicken out and not attend, again, but the hearing will go on. If he chickens out, the judge will certainly enter a bench warrant and/or a writ of bodily attachment.

      And since the judge ordered him to show cause, he should be working on trying to come up with a good reason why he violated the judge’s order. And trying to manufacture evidence of anyone, even Mr. Hoge himself, contacting the freakshow will not help him, nor will it change the focus of the hearing.

      The issue at bar is described in the judge’s order to show cause. Any other issue is for a different hearing on a different day.

      If there is another hearing, the judge can order him brought from jail to attend it. I hope the next hearing is a criminal hearing for him filing a false police report in an attempt to perpetrate a fraud upon the court. Fingers crossed! 😀

  29. #0 ‏@WhoIsNumberNone 7m7 minutes ago
    @weltschmerz2015 I can’t decide if Hoggy Jr is really this stupid or someone just wants you to think he is. Time will tell, I guess.

    Gee, I wonder who would want to do something like that …

      • It truly is. But, oh, how it warms my heart.

        Speaking of keeping my heart warm, that reminds me to take take the 30th off. I hear that it’s going to be a bone-chiller!

    • There is zero doubt he did it himself. He imagines (cos he has no experience) that a good father will want to protect his son (not that he’s ever done anything for any of his children) and so, John will cancel the hearing because the cyberstalking freakshow accused his son of a crime.

      Because he’s never had a relationship with his children, much less ever been any kind of father to them, it doesn’t occur to him that if John has any doubt at all (very unlikely), he’ll simply ask his son what happened. Because he’s never been a father it doesn’t occur to him that John will believe his son over an adjudicated cyberstalker and known liar, who is clearly desperate to avoid a hearing where he knows there’s a good chance he’ll be jailed and/or fined hundreds of dollars, maybe even $1k.

      In fact, he’s so desperate, he tried to pull this ploy, never thinking about the consequences of his actions, because he never does.

  30. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 17m 17 minutes ago
    @WhoIsNumberNone That, of course, assumes that Hoge doesn’t do the right thing and cancel the hearing, or the judge doesn’t do it for him.

    Yes Bill, the judge is going to cancel a hearing on a completely unrelated subject, because you claim to have gotten an anonymous email, and have no real idea who sent it.

    • And, of course, that *isn’t* an obvious attempt at intimidation.

      Bill is absolutely the dumbest human being alive.

    • The January 30th hearing being cancelled was quite obviously Blob’s end game here.

      He has been caterwauling about having to leave his tincan and brave the elements for days and days and days now. Of course The Big BM would attempt to pull something so mind-numbingly stupid to try to get out of it.

      He is so screwed.

      Oh. And, since when did the creepy NumberNone pay this much time and attention to Blob? *hmmm*

    • Wow. Extortion. Out there in public, he attempts extortion. With all the subtlety of explosive diarrhea.

  31. William the Elder
    .@WhoIsNumberNone @antvq16 I’ve just written LE in Howard and Carroll Counties to see if there’s any way to disarm the Hoges for time being.
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
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    9:33 PM – 14 Jan 2015

    Yes, the subject of a peace order is going to have the person protected by it disarmed.


      • 2 weeks, Grace, 2 more weeks of transparent juvenile implosion, blogkeeper = a round of popcorn flavored with generous doses of delicious derision for all the lickspittles here……

        brace for impact………

        kind of a wet wide splat

      • To the lawyers and paralegals out there, wouldn’t said report also constitute contact for the purposes of the PO? And wouldn’t that lead to further court hearings? And by involving LE in the contact, would not those court hearing most likely involve criminal charges, which can indeed carry a significant risk of jail?

    • I just knew old 0 could get him wound up enough to do something really stupid again. I’ve seen the guy do it to Bill time and time again and Bill never catches on.

      • Yep. I’ve seen it numerous times, as well, Army Vet.

        Isn’t Blob the very creature who has been screeching at the top of his lungs that he was robbed of his Due Process? Why, yes. One and the same.

        So, what the hell does he think law enforcement is going to do? Go to Hoge Manor and remove all firearms from their possession without Due Process? Because an Adjudicated Harasser with a current Peace Order against them requested as much because of an anonymous email?

        Damn! I say, damn! The stupid… it buuuuurns.

      • It is my opinion that Schmal^H^H^H I mean shit just got real.

        Popcorn futures through the roof.

        Bill. Hire those expert witnesses. They are not cheap. I set up a wi-fi network in the home of a guy who was an expert witness. He showed me the regulation ice hockey rink he had set up in his backyard so that his kids could learn to play the game. Again. Not inexpensive.

        I suggest you forget the experts who will testify that you have no evidence that Hoge IV sent you that message. Forget the experts who will testify that no traces of the message exist on Hoge’s hard drive. You need to hire the psychological expert who will testify that you are a bipolar narcissist in the throes of Stage IV Parkinson’s.

        When a Judge gets a look at what you have done today? Not pretty.

      • Army Vet
        I am not sure that the people behind the 0 account have even let Bill know who they are. I think it is multiple people, including BK.

      • Ohhhhhh man…
        Maybe I should leave it alone, but I must keep trying to clear it up.

        I think #0 is one guy. He is not BK nor a sock of any other prominent people in Kimberlin’s circles (for the record, I’m well aware that Kimberlin himself has used sockpuppets quite a bit, and he PROFUSELY puts other people up to repeat his words). I don’t even have a theory on who #0 is and frankly I doubt it matters.

        Do keep criticizing #0 for his wrong defenses of BK’s unconscionable behavior, but I hope none of you rely on the fact of him being BK because it is no fact.

      • BKW
        I hope you do not take this offensively but if you are going to clear up the matter of the #0 account don’t use phrases like ‘I think’ and ‘I do not even have a theory’ when telling us about the account. Tell us that you do know.
        I don’t know but I have my opinions. I would indeed like for the matter to be cleared up.

  32. Dear Bill:

    You need to start dealing with reality. The reality is that there is a court hearing on the 30th. No amount of imaginary twitter flack will change that reality.

    You need to stop listening to Acme Law. They are not your friends. Friends help friends deal with reality. Expecting the hearing on the 30th to somehow disappear is not realistic. It’s a loser’s plan. It’s an Acme Law plan. Acme Loser Law. Clients, one. Soap on a rope.

  33. I tried to write a, “If Bill didn’t do it, and Hoge’s son didn’t do it (which seems pretty obvious – if he was going to do it and put identifying information in, like the prank calls, why would he bother with a screen name and fake email, and there’s no doubt our gracious host has told him to give BS a wide berth), who did it?”

    And then I see BS attempting to wrangle it into a “Drop the hearing on the 30th, or else”, and it seems too dumbly obvious.

    (Note that in a previous thread a week or two back, another commentor called me a troll because an action attributed to BS had nothing BS could gain from it. Here, it’s clear what he’s attempting to gain, as stupid as this is.)

    • Don’t worry about the troll accusation. Team BK has so many sock puppets that any comment has some positive probability of being trollistic, even one purportedly from Mr. Hoge himself on his own blog.

      The accusation was founded on your assumed premise that something out of the BLOB had some semi-rational explanation. I am sure that was a momentary lapse on your part. Could happen to anyone.

      • As folks say, you couldn’t write a book with the Bowel Movement as a character, because your editor would send it back saying he wasn’t believable. As normal, sane, rational thinking people, we just find it so hard to believe that there is someone out there who doesn’t think at all like us.

        He’d actually be a good basis for a sci-fi alien species if someone was trying to get across non-human thought processes.

  34. “He’ll cancel the hearing because Hoge chose wrong venue, lied on the petition, and is trying end run around the SA.”

    Apparently, Bill didn’t like the answers he got over at Avvo. They answered your venue question. They answered the “end run” accusation. Surprise, surprise, you’re wrong once again.

    You can try and try to get the hearing cancelled, but it won’t work. Hire a lawyer Bill. It’s your only hope.

    • Let’s suppose that you were a barrister and William came into your office with this case. Would you;

      A) Take him on, because every American has the right to a fair trail.
      B) Throw him out of your office.
      C) Throw him out of your office by way of the window.
      D) Throw yourself out of the window.
      E) Ask him what the fuck is up with that Twitter avatar and hope that he doesn’t stab you in the neck.

    • Ole Bill has this persistent delusion that his asserting something is a lie means that it is a lie. The concept of proof is alien to him. He can shout til the cows come home (where have they been in this cold anyway), but he has already admitted to initiating a prohibited contact. He might try asserting that the contact was immaterial or inadvertent, but given his already public remarks any assertion that Hoge is lying about the contact has no probative value whatsoever.

      • Charles, while you’ve got the right idea, I think you’ve got the phrasing wrong. It should be “Twitter AM Law!”

        I love how the bm tries to write to make others sound like the Hulk or a caveman, and fails utterly, simply making himself sound even more stupid with each post and tweet.

      • Important corollaries he has established are:
        Failure to deny its proof.
        Failure to respond within unilaterally determined and amazingly short timer window is proof.
        Failure to deny permission is permission.

        Experimental test: Schmalfeldt! Your are having a myocardial infarction! Respond or deny this before 1800 ET today.
        Now let’s see if he survives.

      • 32 Fahrenheit is freezing, correct? My apologies, I live in a Celsius world.

        It’s 28 in Elkridge right now, and I imagine it’ll only get get colder as we approach February.

    • Bwahahaaaaa! Oh, my lulz muscle!

      Visiting Hogewash! brings me such joy, and makes me laugh, laugh, laugh! Just this morning, I’m welcome to such gems as:

      “I understand that the wet, frigid air really puts a bounce in your step!” (Neal N. Bob)

      “Officer! That bouncy dude is trundling after me with sharpened keyboard in hand. I thought I was done for, but I stepped up onto the curb.” (howardearl)

      And… “Wow. Extortion. Out there in public, he attempts extortion. With all of the subtlety of explosive diarrhea.” (Rob Crawford)

      To quote a Deranged Cyberstalker and all-around Demented Freak:

      Y’all are killing me! Just killing me! LOLOLOL!

      • Yes! What I Grace said. But we have to add one more to the list. in the serial killer musings, Rick wrote:

        “It puts the mayonnaise on its skin…”

  35. William the Elder ‏@weltschmerz2015
    What kind of people cheer on a person who sent a threatening e-mail and then cheer for cold weather to torment me? Sick.
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
    5:39 AM – 15 Jan 2015

    Since no one here thinks Hoge or his son sent that comment it would be impossible for us to be “cheering on”, but since you are a stupid, stupid man that thought never occurred to you did it?

    As far as wishing it were cold, no one would be talking about it if you hadn’t gone on several days worth of whinging about it. Say Bill, explain how you are going to fall down and break a hip when you have repeatably claimed to be confined to a wheelchair? You think your caretaker is going to flip you out of it in disgust at the giant mangina you’ve become and make you walk the last block or so?

    • LOL – spot on, Army Vet. The weather comments are mocking his whining. Beyond that, no one cares.

      I mean, our gracious host will be out in the exact same weather. It doesn’t occur to us that our host is too stupid to take reasonable precautions to accommodate his various medical issues and the weather. Also, our host doesn’t have a caretaker to warm up the car, help him into it, drive him around, and drop him at the entrance, but we haven’t seen him whine at all. I guess that’s the difference between being a respected, admired, quantum mechanic who is held in esteem and affection by many; versus being an imbecilic trainwreck of total failure with delusions of authority, power and relevance. (SWIDT?)

      As for the stage eleventy PD death threat (that merely suggests a visit to confront a stalker if the stalker carries out his threats), most believe he sent it himself; others believe it was one of his pretend-o-pals. We are not going to cheer any of them as long as they remain, well, um, them.

      It is just hilarious how seriously he takes himself, but even funnier that he believes anyone else does.

      • Ack! disappearing close strike tag um “strikes” again! haha

        Should read:

        As for the stage eleventy PD death threat (that merely suggests a visit to confront a stalker if the stalker carries out his threats), most believe he sent it himself; others believe it was one of his pretend-o-pals. We are not going to cheer any of them as long as they remain, well, um, them.

        It is just hilarious how seriously he takes himself, but even funnier that he believes anyone else does.

  36. William the Elder
    Hilarious. No sooner do I post on my blog “no more foreign anonymizers allowed,” the blog lites up with foreign anonymizers. Ban. Ban. Ban.
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
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    11:34 AM – 15 Jan 2015

    But what about your “important SEO functionality,” William? However will you market your books and CDs now? After all, you’re spending $1,200 to get a return of $94, as it is.

    Hilarious, indeed. .

  37. I wonder how many other parts of William’s show cause filings we can have him undermine in a single 24 hour period? We’re already up to two and the day remains young.

    • Will Acme Loser Law be driving Bill to the courthouse?
      Will Acme Loser Law be driving Bill to the county lockup?

      • I would be more than a little surprised if he were allowed to be chauffeured to the hoosegow by someone who has himself been convicted of multiple felonies. I can almost assure you that Carroll County will give him a lift. I just hope his wheelie-walker fits in the trunk.

        Now, before we start hearing from him about how his response to death threats and his much-needed SEO functionality that turned out not to be so needed after all are unimportant,I would remind William that he put those things in his briefs to the Court himself.

        And that assumes that anyone even reads his Motion to Dismiss, which I doubt anyone will.


  38. Something else just occurred to me. If things don’t go William’s way on the 30th, and he’s placed on some kind of supervised release, he’ll almost certainly be barred from associating with known felons.

    Whatever will he do without his “most excellent friend?”

  39. William the Elder
    Once this latest Hoge situation is resolved, I’m done with @twitter. It’s like wading in a cesspool and adds nothing of value to my life.
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
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    1:10 PM – 15 Jan 2015

    And the fourteenth time counts, goddammit! But in the meantime, he has an important defense to undermine.

    • Ahhhhh…Twittercide. I love this part!


      William the Elder @weltschmerz2015
      · 5m 5 minutes ago
      FWIW, it looks like Hoggy Jr. was smart enough to toe the “threat” line without crossing it. LE says there was no direct threat to harm me.

      It looks like Blob wasn’t smart enough to read (or perhaps write) and discern a threat. Nice work, Jeenyus.

      • William should really learn to write better death threats to himself. But first he would have to learn to write.

      • Maybe the cyberstalking freakshow’s advisers insisted he tone down his first 37 draft versions to make sure law enforcement wouldn’t do anything to trace the sender.

        It’s possible the blob really doesn’t know who sent it. Remember Kyle’s observation about the Elkridge imbecile’s auto-delete twitter embarrassment:

        I noticed that you just discovered you had installed an app that deletes tweets from your Twitter account. I can only imagine how much of a shock that must have been to discover that you had been sneaking around behind your back and installing apps without checking with you.

      • The cyberstalking freakshow always and only sees what he wants to see, whether it’s here, in his email, with online lawyer advice, court orders, or in MD and Federal code and case law interpreting and expanding on both.

        Heh. Gotta order more popcorn.

      • “@weltschmerz2015: “Implied threat”? Of course, but that’s protected speech. But there was no direct threat, so nothing to be done. ‘Fraid I have to agree.”
        1/15/15, 12:15 PM

        ‘Fraid I have to agree? Whaaaaat?

        NOW The Big BM agrees it was NOT a direct threat after he raged for hours that it was, and repeatedly accused Hoge IV of making a “direct threat?”

        Here’s to hoping he legally has to eat those words. Heaven knows Blobby doesn’t have an issue with eating anything-and-everything else he can get his sticky fingers on.

    • By the “cesspool and adds nothing of value to my life” logic, wouldn’t it make more sense for him to quit coming here? He calls this place a sewer, after all.

    • Dementia doesn’t require a PD component.

      The reason we are all convinced of the dementia is that it’s too difficult to believe that anyone could be that stupid without some sort of severe illness.

    • I’m a simple foreigner, but here’s what I think will happen.

      Assuming that anyone reads William’s nonsensical Motion to Dismiss in the first place, it will be ruled that the respondent had the opportunity to make that case during an appeal of the peace order itself. Since there was no appeal, the argument is moot. Since the window for such an appeal has long-since closed, this isn’t “educating the monkey.”

      The 30th isn’t about the validity of the peace order, since that was settled in August, when William decided to “pay it no nevermind” is how I remember he put it. The show cause hearing will be on the very narrow question of whether it was violated.

      Of course, he’s not even preparing for that because William knows best. No matter how often and how thoroughly he humiliates himself, William always knows best.

      And that’s why I love him. I’m actually going to have own big, stupid William teddy bear made to remind me that life can always be worse.

      • Heck, even his internet lawyers told him that these arguments are bogus. Will thr teddy bear come with a rolly walker?

        • And a wheelchair, but that comes separately. Other accessories include a desktop that goes to the stepbear from time to time, and a voicebox that goes out “forever,” only to return in a day or so.

      • The show cause hearing will be on the very narrow question of whether it was violated.

        Actually, it’s a tad broader than that. The question before the bar is whether Blob should be held in contempt. There is a pattern of conduct that goes beyond the recent violation that is pertinent to that question. LOL!

    • Yeah, what was John thinking, checking his email? He should have known there’d be yet another court-order-violating contact from the cyberstalker in his inbox. It was his choice to look at his email.

      That much stupid should be very painful. Oh. Wait… the freakshow does complain about pain a lot…

      • Makes as much sense as claiming sending a letter by mail isn’t contact. John opened the letter thus causing contact to occur.
        How stupid can you be?
        I guess the fault is on anyone who answers the phone, opens their mail or checks their email not in the person who calls, writes or causes to be sent by a third party any form of communication.
        His intellect is even smaller than Brett’s is, and Brett is a small man indeed, in fact I would venture that Brett is a tiny man and Bill, in every metric except physical size, is growing even smaller than Brett!

      • See the essays by Theodore Dalrymple who used to be a prison doctor and psychiatrist in the UK. Best quote ever was him talking to a guy in for murder. Guy still claimed he was innocent of killing the guy and that it was the hospital doctor’s who killed him. Why? Because they pulled the knife our of his heart and he bled to death.
        Dalrymple didn’t say but I’ll bet that guy was a Schmalfeldt.

    • No fro yo. Lots of ‘fros, dudes who say yo, but no ‘fro yo..
      Of course Bill fails from the gate. This is not a trial De Novo this is a show cause hearing to determine if Bill can show cause why he should not be held in contempt of court for violating the Peace Order. The fact the PO has been violated is not in dispute, the fact of the person who violated the PO is not in dispute. The validity of the PO is not in dispute. The only fact in contention is the court giving the Defendant an opportunity to show any extenuating circumstance that may allow the court to either find him not to be in contempt (an alien hijacked his computer and made the contact … better have film and several hundred witness statements, all notorized) or compelling proof that the contact was an accident and not part of a pattern of continued harassment.

  40. William the Elder
    How does a fine purge the contempt in a remedial fashion? It can’t. Can I go back in time? If so, I’ll try to stop the JFK assassination 1st
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    2:36 PM – 15 Jan 2015

    You couldn’t stop the Kennedy Assassination, William. That happened at the end of November and it was cold outside.


    • “…to extort his father into not pursuing a valid legal claim…”


      Hey, wasn’t there something similar in some lawfare suit? hahahaha

  41. He’s never more stupid than when he tries to convince himself of something. Wow. Now he believes there is no such thing as a civil fine, that it is simply not allowed under (SchmalFAIL) law. hahahahaha I wonder how all of those people who’ve paid fines to the court will feel when they find out their trained lawyers with years of experience didn’t know this? hahahaha

    I mean, really, why does anyone even hire an attorney, when the law is so simple even a demented moron can do better than a lawyer? LOL LOL LOL

    • Wow. He must have learned this little legal fact from BK, since it explains why BK refuses to pay the money the courts say he ows Mrs. DeLong. Since the money can’t bring her husband back, obviously the courts should never have required BK to pay it.

  42. Paging Paul Lemmen –
    Do they provide toiletries and espressos in jail, or do you have to provide your own?

    • You get a used toothbrush a bar of reputed soap (the kind that is found in $15 a night motels), a threadbare towel, stained sheets and a ragged blanket. He will probably be given a bunk in the medical wing where he won’t have to sleep on the floor for a few months before getting a bunk.
      He’ll probably claim to be indigent (a status that is verified — have money on your commissary account? You’re not indigent). Indigent inmates get two sheets of lined paper, an envelope, a stamp, a stub pencil, a bar of the aforementioned soap weekly and once per month a tube of clear tooth-gel and a new used toothbrush.

  43. Now that sending a nasty email to himself didn’t work as planned, Bill has moved back to trying to convince John to cancel the hearing or…….something will happen.

    Good luck with that, Sparky.

  44. Now the idiot has convinced himself it’s a de novo hearing. LOL He actually claimed res judicata doesn’t apply!!

    His theory of the case is that it’s not a valid order, so he doesn’t have to abide by it. LOL Yeah, I soooo hope he goes with that one. LOL

    • Someone is furiously googling “de novo,” and becoming an expert on it in under five minutes. Why in blazes does anyone bother to go to law school?

  45. Also, how could “Hoge, Aaron Walker, or anyone else in the courtroom” testify to William’s contacting WJJH through WordPress in a way that could possibly be beneficial to him? Didn’t he pay attention at all to what happened when his “most excellent friend” tried the same trick?

    • Apparently not. I can just imagine some of the testimony if he pulled that. Picture this hypothetical scenario:

      “Yes, I believe that you are a racist and a misogynist who likes to write parodies about anal rape, especially if it includes Boy Scouts.” This would then be part of the court record FOREVER.

      • Exactly, and that assumes that the judge even allows William to call witnesses on a whim, which he won’t.

        But I second Jane. I do so hope he goes forward with this strategy. I only wish I could be there to see it, but it’s going to be awfully cold on the 30th.

  46. William the Elder
    He lied on his Peace Order petition, claiming I filed a “bogus DMCA takedown.” He lied, and I can prove it now.
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    3:09 PM – 15 Jan 2015

    That would have been excellent in August. Sadly for you, the 30th isn’t about that.

    You should wear two pairs of socks. BRRRRRRRRRRR

    • Also, you put that in your Motion to Dismiss when you couldn’t prove it?

      How have you not been appointed to the Supreme Court yet, William?

  47. “…and he finds “cause” to hold me in contempt, as the alleged contempt was not committed in the judge’s presence, it is not direct contempt”

    Oh my.

  48. I have a question.

    Bill swears that he really did contact LE about having the Hoges’ weapons confiscated because of the “death threat”. (Though interestingly, I can’t find that on his twitter stream now. Hmmm.)

    Now he says he knew all along that it wasn’t really a threat.

    If I were the subject of the attempt to have my guns confiscated, I know what I’d be doing right about now.

    • Indeed, LG.

      And, once again Blobby demonstrates that the truth behind “the Internet is forever” goes completely over his demented, dented head.

  49. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 10m 10 minutes ago
    I will ask directly… @AaronWorthing? Are you the person who comments on Hoge’s blog all day as “A Reader”? If you’re in court on the 30th

    Huh? For a show cause hearing? Your OWN show cause hearing?

    Willy’s really cracking up. I thought he’d last till at least a few days before the hearing.

    • With a full 14 days to go? No, we’ll have at least two. Maybe more, if the stress gets bad enough.

      And while I agree with Howard that William will go *poof* on the 22nd, I doubt that he’ll stay gone until after the hearing. He needs the last word too badly, and there may not be an after the hearing. And don’t think that the prospect of that isn’t scaring William half to death.

  50. “I just don’t see a circumstance where I’m held in contempt. Certainly no jail time, and no fine. A good talking-to, perhaps. But that’s it.”

    When you’re right, you’re right, Bill.

    Go with that…no reason to worry.

    Heck, you should probably just stay home, and send your wife. But only if the weather is good. If she slipped and broke a hip, who’d be your slavedevoted caregiver? Her son?

    (Bill types purty good for a man with one teat in the wringer…)

    • It’s slowly, slowly starting to dawn on him. A few days ago, he thought that the judge was going to nominate him for the Congressional Medal of Honor and lock everyone away but him.

      Now it seems that the reality is ever so gradually starting to sink in. And that’s where things get FUN! By the end of next week, when the judge is done giggling at William’s motions, the panic will set in. And unlike last Friday, when he swore that he was going to “go down fighting,” he’ll know that he’s just going down.

      Unlike Mr. Lemmen, I rather do hope that William gets sent to the Grey Bar Hotel. For then he’ll have indisputable proof that a) his actions have consequences, and b) he doesn’t have a friend in the world.

      Besides, it’ll be funny.

      But, like Vladimir Pozner before him, William is Parting With Illusions. And it is going to be sensational to watch for 14 more days.

      • I agree. His twitter posts border on hysteria at this point. They remind me of Tom Wolfe’s account of transmissions from doomed test pilots told in “The Right Stuff.”

        “Sometimes at Edwards they used to play the tapes of pilots going into the final dive, the one that killed them, and the man would be tumbling, going end over end in a fifteen-ton length of pipe, and he knew it, and he would be screaming into the microphone, but not for Mother or for God or the nameless spirit of Ahor, but for one last hopeless crumb of information about the loop: “I’ve tried A! I’ve tried B! I’ve tried C! I’ve tried D! Tell me what else I can try!”

  51. Wow, Cabin Boy actually publicly released evidence of several additional violations of the PO he had committed. That’s brilliant.

    • I know, right? He always, always, always ends up proving what a liar he is, and that he knows exactly what he’s doing – especially when he’s been court ordered not to do it. It’s never an innocent mistake; he goes out of the way to supply proof of his deliberate intent.

  52. One of these days, maybe January 30th, the cyberstalking freakshow will become very acquainted with the principle behind, “don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time,” or can’t pay the fine.

    hahahaha Can’t believe he’s got himself convinced he’s not only not going to jail, but he won’t even be fined, despite admitting he deliberately violated the order, and despite what excuses he does make are easily proven false with his own words.

    With all of the evidence available, and with what the actual laws, rules, and case law allows/requires, he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t max out both. He can also could be punished separately for separate counts.

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