I’m Not Making This Up, You Know

Bill Schmalfeldt has been ordered to show cause why he should not be found in contempt of court for disobeying the peace order issued against him. He has posted a second version of a motion to cancel the hearing scheduled for 30 January.

I suppose we’ll see if he mails this one, writes another, or whatever.

134 thoughts on “I’m Not Making This Up, You Know


  1. “Someone who may or may not be pursuing legal actions against me SWORE to me he would drop the matter. Instead he pursued the matter and I failed to appear. My constitutional rights were violated because I did not show up.”

    Shorter Bill: “I’m a dumbass and get my legal advice from cereal boxes.”


  2. Again: “It’s 367 violations.” Not 367 attempts to hold SCHMALFELDT criminally liable. For those new to the story, Hoge put up with hundreds of contacts when a judge had told Mr. SCHMALFELDT to stop contacting Hoge. Never, ever go Full SCHMALFELDT.


  3. Did the state of Maryland keep him from going to court? Then he wasn’t denied his due process rights. People have strange and misguided ideas about the Constitution.
    “SCHMALFELDT was denied due process when HOGE appeared before this court and was awarded a non-contested Peace Order.”


    • Blob’s suggestion that HOOOOOOGEEEE!!!!!! made an assertion and Blob took it as gospel belies virtually everything Blob has been spewing about HOOOOOOGEEEE!!!!!! for the last couple of years. Just marvel at the hate Blob has identified and the myriad machinations that HOOOOOOGEEEE!!!!!! has employed in order to KILL Blob. But he wants the court to believe that he just accepted swearsies about the peace order hearing from the man he claims has been trying to kill him.

      Lulz!


      • Indeed.

        You want to torment me, damage my health, and send me to an early grave. But, yeah, I’ll take your word you’re not showing up for the next court date.

        This is yet another indicator that Bill Schmalfeldt is a true sociopath. His behavior often makes it evident that he he’s missing some of the “wiring” that sane human beings have. He lacks empathy, is clueless as to why people find his antics hilarious yet profoundly creepy.

        He is offensive, and then wonders why people remain offended when he decides he wants something and turns on his famously creepy “charm.”

        What a creep.


  4. A serious question: is this something a judge is allowed to say from the bench to any pro se litigant?

    “I have read your pleadings, and while it is not my position to offer you legal help or advice, I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that since you’re going to be out of pocket $1000 anyway, you should spend that money on competent representation.”

    Or would a competent judge avoid saying that?


    • It is common for the bench to urge parties to seek representation and to strenuously warn of the possible consequences of failing to do so. telegraphing an outcome could be reversible error, but the rest would be kosher.


    • I saw that happen twice in 20+ years of practicing law in Alaska. Each time the judge, following some transgression, gave an unrepresented but clearly not indigent litigant a warning, as in “next time you do that I’m going to hold you in contempt,” then held the litigant in contempt with a de minimus fine- say $25- the next time it happened, saying that the next time the sanction would be much greater, and then finally imposing a $1,000 fine when the litigant screwed up again. At the same time, though, each judge, in so many words, told the litigant, “I’ll suspend the sanction if you have a lawyer enter an appearance on your behalf within the next ten days, otherwise you will need to pay up before we proceed.” My recollection is both hired an attorney.


  5. Now let’s avoid educating poor dumb William shall we? He posts his legal manure so that we’ll point and laugh and show him his errors, then he just cranks out another just like he has done here. Why don’t we wait till he actually files something with the court before we point out the holes in his case?


    • Because his hubris will not allow him to listen.

      If he were not so loathesome, his behavior would be cringe-making. As it is? I have no pleasant way to express my feelings watching/reading his antics.


  6. “Hoge gained a cowardly, dishonest, uncontested victory.” — Bill

    What kind of moron stays home from court when they KNOW there is potential legal actions brewing? …And then complains when the opposing party receives a favorable ruling because they were marked no-show.

    “The future belongs to those who show up.”


    • I’m missing where Mr. Hoge lied. In point of fact; this very motion contains a hearsay accounting that allows that Mr. Hoge set the terms and abided by them. It was bil that failed to live up to his end of the bargain, and bil who failed to show up for the hearing.


    • I’m sure the judge will read a portrait of a “vexatious liar.” Then again, the judge will read other portraits of other “vexatious liars” who successfully obtained Peace Orders against Bill Schmalfeldt. After reading all these accounts the judge is going to be forced to either conclude that numerous Judges independently came to the same wrong conclusion, or, that the account being presented to him isn’t exactly the whole truth. While Bill Schmalfeldt might be impressed with his own bullshit, I seriously doubt any judge will be. Bill Schmalfeldt is in for yet another rude awakening.


  7. Let’s see if I have this straight: BS has accused John Hoge, repeatedly, of being a criminal (RICO racketeers), a liar, dishonorable, under Aaron Walker’s thumb, under our control, etc. Yet he now claims that Hoge promised he’d drop the appeal (a lie, as we all know), and BS believed him? Yes, I think therapy is in order.


  8. Dear Bill – since you read comments here, this is for you. The conditional assurance you received was based on you following promises YOU made about changing your internet presence to one you described.

    You didn’t follow through, either because you never meant to, or changed your mind. You did this without getting anyone’s permission including the person who conditioned his behavior on the behavior you promised. So likewise no permission needed to be sought from you. He wasn’t bound by a handshake-contract you already broke.

    You revoked your own promise, dismissed yourself from any obligation to Mr Hoge to do what you said. Why would you be owed another warning? You had your chance to go about your business, but apparently you thought you had made a bad deal and broke the deal yourself.


    • No, we are pointing out the sheer absurdity of his argument.

      Worse, attaching that screen capture? Just…anyone who cares about Schmalfeldt ought to have stopped him from doing that. It demonstrates that BS never operates in good faith.


    • What is so very hard about, “Leave Mr. Hoge alone”? I really don’t get this. I can go whole weeks without even thinking of any number of people I’ve encountered on line, and I actually like the majority of them!


      • DING DING DING DING!!! Give the lady a prize!!!! lolz

        Nothing is very hard about “leave X, Y or Z alone” unless you happen to be Bill Schmalfeldt. Who has the biggest case of obsessive-compulsive disorder that I have ever seen in my life. And delusions of grandeur of epic proportions.

        Here’s a hint Billy: SPEND $70 AND GO SEE A REAL LAWYER IN PERSON! Do not rely on Interwebzs lawyers because they cannot accurately advise on a case AND TELL YOU SO UP FRONT!

        OMG, the stupid it burns.


    • The shamelessness of Bill Schmalfeldt’s motion is not that he defends himself from John Hoge, but, rather, how he attempts to “defend” himself against John Hoge. Bill Schmalfeldt ought to be embarrassed by the “arguments” that he proffers the Court. The point is that he is not.


    • Notice that NO ONE is objecting to his defense of himself before the law; we are, however, quite amused at how poorly he is doing it.


  9. Why is The Big BM (his moniker, not something I made up) having sexual fantasies about Hoge IV? The tweets are too revolting to post here, but he is clearly fascinated by other men’s sperm. So much for “families are off limits,” eh?


    • Come on now, Reader. You’ve always known that in the bowel movement’s world, “families are off limits” means only his must be left alone; he must be allowed to attack others’ children, spouses and parents with impunity.

      I do have to admit that reading the Big BM’s movement has been quite amusing. I look forward to reading the judge’s response.


  10. Hopefully he files one of these incoherent screeds finally, so the judge can have the opportunity to order a 72 hour psych hold.


      • I had the same thought. Instead of placing himself at the mercy of the Court, Bill Schmalfeldt is dialing up the crazy in the hopes that the Court shows him mercy. Playing it straight will get Bill Schmalfeldt nowhere because he has no case. His only viable option is playing it crooked. That is not to say he is doing a good job of playing it crooked.


    • He has posted that Mr. Hoge received his 75 page “Rube Goldberg” MTD, so he had better have filed it.


  11. So Schmalfeldt didn’t file a DMCA takedown over the NASA images? A DMCA takedown that he had no standing to file? Bullshit.

    Hoge should have lwyered up real expensively right there and then:

    “Any person who knowingly materially misrepresents that
    material is infringing, or that it was removed or blocked through mistake or misidentification,
    is liable for any resulting damages (including costs and attorneys’ fees) incurred
    by the alleged infringer, the copyright owner or its licensee, or the service provider.
    (Section 512(f)).”

    Everybody told him the images were used legally. WordPress should have sued for their costs.

    I guess he also didn’t try to lie to the popo about the poo making him fall down. I guess he also didn’t send an email to NASA trying to have our host’s security clearance pulled. (TBH, I never heard any more about that so perhaps that was just a bit of BS puffery.)
    What a POS.

    Hey, Bill? Like you’ve been told a thousand times. The Court didn’t dismiss the 367 charges. Hoge withdrew them. You should have quit while you were ahead.

    I doubt they put a Stage IV, wheel-chair bound, Parkinson’s victim in jail but whatever they do it isn’t enough. Not by half.

    Our host is far too kind.


    • Heh. Here in Florida the jails are ADA compliant with wheelchair ramps, bathrooms and entire wings dedicated to prisoners serving time who are wheelchair bound, on dialysis, receiving chemotherapy and even those who are on respirators. Physical disabilities do not preclude consequences of crime. Mental disabilities have separate facilities.


    • Yeah, yeah, Bill. Whatever. I know. You only included the NASA posts because you thought Hoge was in legal hot water with NASA. Too bad WP only took down the NASA posts and none of the other stuff you intended them to take down, right? Huh. Weird how that happens. I mean, how does that happen with an organization that deals with so many DMCA take-down notices that they have begun to seek damages from people who fraudulently request take-downs? It’s as if Clicky Steve, Community Guardian, had no earthly idea what he was doing! WordPress should hire a pro.

      You’re a liar. Everyone knows you’re a liar. Even people who come into this with a predisposition to be on your side soon realize that you’re a liar. The only people who don’t care are a domestic terrorist and his friends. YOU know you’re a liar. You lied in a letter to the authorities about the container of horseshit causing you to fall down even though you had posted pictures of yourself after falling the day before the crap arrived. Then you hurriedly sent a letter explaining that PD had somehow caused you to be confused about the timeline. In other words, you lied!

      You lie to yourself about how smart and important you are.”I publish books and CDs globally!” Virtually no-one buys your output. How many copies did your biggest seller move? You lie to online attorneys. You withhold information. That’s why they agree with you.

      How much time do you spend with your grandkids you sick, twisted, 60 year old failure?


  12. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015
    Do the boy scouts in my skit have sex, Eric?

    Yeah remind your cell mate of that – I’m sure the whole block will understand


  13. Cabin Boy was a writer-editor, correct? And yet, he has kept his previous typos in this version while adding some new ones. Like the Jelly of the Month club, he’s the gift that keeps on giving.


  14. Can I ask our host to be so kind as to increase the font size of the ‘XX THOUGHTS ON…’ line? It is hard to distinguish between 0 and 8 for example. On fast paced commenting I want to make sure that I see all of them. TIA.


    • I take no position on font sizes, but in hopes of helping meanwhile and in general, try ctrl/+ meaning the ctrl key and the key with the + at the same time to increase the font size. To go back to normal size, ctrl/0 meaning the ctrl key and the zero key at the same time; or to decrease use ctrl and the – keys. HTH


      • Thanks. Sometimes I do that. All of the comments are easily readable. The line I am talking about has a thin font which is part of my problem in reading. But no big deal.


  15. This is quite a Feldtdown we’re having today. I don’t kmow that we’ll ever see the heights of the horse crap Feldtdown, but this one is pretty good.


  16. If folks haven’t seen that the Internet lawyers are telling him he’s wrong, you should take a look. He’s ignoring them, of course. check out TMZ. And I repeat, Howard Earl is not John Hoge.


    • But he can’t get at Howard, so he attacks someone else. If not our gentle host, there is another family he seems to be unable to stop attacking, despite the fact they haven’t initiated any contact or even mentioned him in months.

      And in his dementia addled brain, that’s fair. Someone hurt his fee fees and if he can’t get at them, or is too scared to go at them, anyone else will do.


  17. Bill Schmalfeldt’s shamelessness shows itself yet again in his demand that the Peace Order against him be “vacated and expunged.” John Hoge filed a request for a Peace Order. Surely, John Hoge, like all residents of Maryland, was entitled to his day in Court. At best, Bill Schmalfeldt could argue that he entitled to a new hearing (presumably, with the temporary order in force until that hearing.) What Bill Schmalfeldt is demanding is that John Hoge be stripped of his right to have his day in Court precisely because he had his day in Court and prevailed. If that outcome were to occur in our justice system there simply would be no justice in that system. It would just be a system.


    • Bill Schmalfeldt obviously can’t conceive of someone playing their cards close to their vest.

      Don’t forget folks: Do not educate the dancing monkey.


      • I don’t agree with that as a general proposition, and I don’t agree with it here. If Bill was “educated” about the pending matter, he would understand that he needs to take it seriously and start looking at how to mitigate the consequences he is likely to suffer. Hiring a lawyer would be good for him, and even better for our host, because it would likely make things far more efficient than as at present. I’m sure, as an example, that Mr. Hoge has better things to do with his time than to have to respond to incomprehensible (and legally meritless) 75 page pro per filings.


      • Yes, given BS’s opinion of him, Mr. Hoge appears to be the head of SPECTRE, in the guise of a nerdy rocket scientist. He has to run his global criminal enterprise.


      • D. Edgren,
        I believe we have an issue with semantics. Using your definition, bil cannot be educated; your version implies wisdom and clarity of thought. Perhaps the more appropriate term we should use would be instruct. Because, while bil will never understand, appreciate, or acknowledge the wisdom of good advice; he can, like a dog, be instructed and trained. We should therefore avoidinstructing bil on how to remove the fool’s errors in his pleadings, and simply pop more corn and enjoy the show.


      • The best model for dealing with Bill Schmalfeldt is animal training. If you want to train a dog to do what you want them to do you start from the premise that a dog is driven by a series of instincts. One tries to harass those instincts to train the desired behavior. At no point does the trainer attempt to reason with, or persuade the dog. He appeals to the dogs base instincts.

        To train Bill Schmalfeldt one merely has to identify the instincts that drive his negative behavior and harass them into more productive outlets. The most obvious instinct that drives Bill Schmalfeldt is a need for dominance. The other is strong ego needs. He wants to be an important person, and, he wants to be respected and admired, not merely obeyed. He has a strong need to align himself with perceived powerful movements or people. He has strong aggressive instincts. When his attempts at dominance fail he is apt to become hostile. “#WAR” is his life. And, there are others.

        The Thinking Man’s Zombie has figured out how to train his monkey to dance! I’m sure that there are folks on Team Kimberlin that who have figured out to manipulate his ego needs to harass his aggressive instincts to their purposes.

        I would not suggest trying to train Bill Schmalfeldt. That is best left to doctors at mental hospitals. Institutionalization could do Bill Schmalfeldt a world of good. Being told on a daily basis when to get up, when to shower, when and what to eat, when to go to bed, and what to do in between will systematically break Bill Schmalfeldt down. That would be the first step.


  18. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 12m 12 minutes ago
    Ya ask questions, ya learn things. And is this a pre school? “Ooopsie Poopsie?

    Looks like you don’t always “learn”:

    Answered 3 months ago. Well killing yourself is out of the question. Delete the social media site and get on with your life. Block those that threaten you to hurt yourself. Get some serious psychological help.
    http://www.sprc.org/states/maryland
    Good Luck!

    Did you learn? No.

    “Oopsie Poopsie.”


  19. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 8m 8 minutes ago
    Why THEN, they’re “Craigslist Lawyers.” But when they DISAGREE? One lawyer becomes “top notch legal experts.” Jesus, the stupidity!

    I know of nobody who thinks your online advice is worth anything. All I’m pointing out is that you selectively take their advice only when it suits you. That is the definition of stupid.


    • Exactly.

      The majority of those who have commented have expressed their opinion that The Big BM is a big, dumb dope for seeking legal advice online. Numerous people have encouraged him to secure competent, reputable, legal representation.

      But, per always… Blobby believes he knows best. Why? I have no idea. *SMH*


      • All Bill wants is affirmation. That’s why he lies to the attorneys at that site. In order to get them to tell him what he wants to hear.


    • Who can we get on the case?
      We need PERRY MASON.
      Someone to put you in place,
      Calling PERRY MASON AGAIN!


  20. Your Honor, I should like to file this amicus curiae “Motion for the Court to Not Give a Crap” pursuant to SCHMALFEDT claims of all sorts. Respectfully filed this Tuesday and served upon the eponymous SCHMALFELDT via registered baseball bat


  21. Motion to Dance
    Motion to debench
    Motion to Stop opposing Counsel From Making Googly Eyes At the Judge
    Motion to Force Amazon to Give me 4 stars
    Motion to make I-Tunes sell my stuff
    Motion to Approach the Bench with 752 exhibits of down right meaness
    Motion to Make them Stop making Faces at me
    Motion to Make them Read my Books Before Reviews
    Motion to Make My Blog have Real Readers

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