In Re a Peace Order

I have petitioned the Circuit Court for Carroll County to find Bill Schmalfeldt in contempt for disobeying the peace order issued by that court on 27 August, 2014. He has published on his schmalfeldt dot org site a motion to dismiss my petition and a motion to cancel the scheduled show cause hearing. Here they are for those of you who don’t want to wade in that sewer in order to read them.

I do not wish to make any comment on the substance of these motions (if they have any) or an substantive comment about my petition until after the court has ruled on the matter.

80 thoughts on “In Re a Peace Order

  1. Like an eel caught in a basket trap, he wriggles and wriggles trying to alter reality. The previous violations of the previous Peace Order were not adjudged by the court, rather, they were nolle pros’ed by the State Attorney at the request of WJJ Hoge (after being brought by the State Attorney’s office in the first place. Remember, an individual cannot issue a criminal charge, only the State Attorney’s office can). Bills bullshit narrative is transparent and the generousness of Mr. Hoge is agreeing to dismiss the 367 violations of the previous Peace Order will be demonstrated to the court. Even a prejudiced judge will see that Bill cannot be trusted to not violate the Peace Order again and again. If you cannot trust someone in small matters (like not violating a Peace Order) how can they be trusted in anything?

  2. Of course the Admiral is proud and displays his Craigslist legal findings for all to

    He never seems to tell those sh*thouse lawyers the entire story, does he?

    Your legal advice is worth what you’ve paid for it, Shakey.

  3. Bill Schmalfeldt’s second biggest problem is that he listens to advice from losers. They egg him on from the sidelines, but he’s the one who has collected multiple court orders from multiple states while they sit nice and warm and untouched in their mothers’ basements.

    • … in their Cheetos stained underwear … wondering why they do not have an actual life, with IRL friends, activities, wives and children.
      Even an old reprobate, former criminal con-man and military impersonator like me has an actual life, populated with friends that visit, go out together and families. My darling wife loves me (God alone knows why), my grandchildren are a joy and we have a home of our own (sure it’s an apartment but it’s cozy and fits our needs).
      As much as a loser as I was/am, things are looking up since I put aside my criminal ways, reformed my life/attitude and started that life-long path of redemption.
      God is good, He has greatly blessed me.
      Note to The Cabin Boy and his sycophants and enablers: Repent, Reform and start the road to redemption. You’ll be happier and things will improve in your life if you do so with a will to change and follow Christ’s precepts. All of them, not just the ones you like.
      I am praying for you all. The time to change is now for we know not the appointed hour or day of our death.

  4. If William has a boo-boo on the 30th and breaks his hip, he can log into WebMD and perform the corrective surgery himself. Better still, William’s Internet Matlock also told him to hire a lawyer, but our hero appears to have stopped reading at that point.

    I still can’t comprehend that someone can be so obtuse as to gamble their liberty on what Al Gore’s Internets told him.

    On the other hand, yes I can.

  5. Which part of the Bill Schmalfeldt cycle do you enjoy most?

    1. “Now I have you right where I want you.”
    2. “That’s it! I coming after you with everything I’ve got!”
    3. “That’s it! I’m shutting down all my twitter accounts and never talking to you again!”
    4. “I’m dying because of you.”

  6. Between the conclusory, statements, off topic ramblings and lies about dates, I wonder if the cabin boy didn’t get help from the first mate or the captain.

    • I had considered that, but discarded the possibility, since William hadn’t created a grand conspiracy involving THEMIS, Simon & Schuster, Mercury Radio Arts, ISIS and the Shriners.

      No, this is uniquely, beautifully Bill.

  7. There is much to mock in William’s 80-odd pages of hilarity, but I fell in love with it as soon as I saw that William was not found to be in violation of copyright, ignoring entirely that this is what settlements do. They prevent conclusions of law since there is no final judgement.

    But that really set the tone for the errors and dissembling that followed.

      • I can’t speak to U.S law, but it would only be an issue if the words “not found” were reversed. That would be an affirmative statement, but the one in … whatever William sent .. isn’t.

      • …avoided being found guilty of copyright infringement…

        Ah, but that would be more wholly honest, now wouldn’t it?

  8. He seriously needs legal counsel…and to follow said counsel’s advice to the letter. I can’t believe he thinks filling a legal filing with irrelevant rants about our gracious host will endear him to the courts.

    Write simply, address what needs to be addressed, and add nothing extra. It’s like talking to a police officer – polite yes and no answers whenever possible, and short answers when yes or no won’t do, or you can talk yourself into a lot more trouble than you have.


    Ex: complaining that the peace order was “ill-gotten” isn’t appropriate when you’re looking at a contempt of court charge under said peace order. The time to talk about it being “ill-gotten” is when you appeal it, not when you’re in trouble for breaking it.

    Under the Schmalfeldt school of logic, Aaron Walker shouldn’t have bothered appealing the peace order Kimberlin got against him; he should’ve just broken, waited to be hauled before the court, and complained then that it was illegitimate. Because I’m sure that would have gone well…

    • In William’s Wonderful World of Logic, John is smart, but Aaron is a fool. So of course John does whatever Aaron tells him to. It’s like “Of Mice and Men” for the dyslexic!

      Once you fully absorb that, the rest of William’s theories are much easier to understand.

      • Schmalfeldt also hasn’t learned an important lesson from the Kimberlin lawsuits:

        Judges tend to be forgiving to pro se individuals with errors far more grievous than “wrong form.”

      • I saw, but it hardly counts as advice given they have no personal knowledge of the case and have read none of the relevant information on it – only what Schmalfeldt has told them. That’s like getting all your news from MSNBC!

  9. So, part of the defense is that he “can’t go back in time” to undo the thing which he did? I can’t really judge all the legal gobbledegook, but telling the judge “It’s too late, I did it,” does NOT sound like good legal thinking.

    And once and for all, please Mr. Schmalfeldt (SCHMALFELDT) stop telling people that Hoge tried 367 times to hold you criminally liable. That’s the number of times you contacted Hoge after being told NOT to. That big number makes you look silly, not Hoge.

  10. William the Elder
    Cute, how the lickspittles think mocking me will correct Hoge’s unforced error.
    0 replies 0 retweets 0 favorites
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    4:21 PM – 11 Jan 2015

    Oh, William. Some things are worth doing for their own sake.

      • Wish their was. I know one of the people who responded to Bill. We had a nice email chat where I gave them ALL of the facts. Needless to say, their advice was: “He needs to get a lawyer ASAP!”

        I can’t post it as they don’t want to get dragged into this mess. I would love to, but I must respect their wishes.

        Bill, legal advice is only as good as the facts presented to the lawyer. When you omit certain things and couch other things in a way that misrepresents what actually happened, you will get bad legal advice. Consult an attorney and lay it all out for them. They will be able to help you get through this.

        • Great, now I’m going to miss the most beautiful Feldtdown off all, wherein William starts howling at his “Internet Attorney-Client Privilege” being violated in a manner most foul!

          Can somebody copy/paste all of his tweets in case he deletes his account while I’m out? Pretty please?

      • Another lawyer chimed in, commenting on the previous advice and adding: “but after ‘367’ previous filings/charges and your suggestion that you posted on his blog after all those filings’, seems like some facts must be missing…..”

        YA THINK?

      • ““Internet Attorney-Client Privilege”

        OW. OW OW.

        There goes that LULZ muscle. DAMN IT!!

        Hey, junkie skank whore. Put down the pipe and get me the heating pad!!

    • I wonder if Bill Schmalfeldt is asking these questions using his real name.

      It’d be interesting to see the difference in advice coming from those that have vs. have not spent a few minutes Googling “Bill Schmalfeldt.”

      The sample size for “have Googled Schmalfeldt” might be vanishingly small… Since anyone who knows about Bill Schmalfeldt seeks to AVOID Bill Schmalfeldt.

  11. Hmmm, interesting–ac-2017932.html#answer_4717970

    Rixon Rafter
    Litigation Lawyer – Fairfax, VA
    Contributor Level 20
    Answered 30 minutes ago. Mr Oakley has the way forward, big picture; Mr Brinkmeier the near-term action. Do ’em both, but after ‘367’ previous filings/charges and yoursuggestion that you posted on his blog after all those filings’, seems like some facts must be missing…..

    • Bill’s reply:

      Posted about 2 hours ago.
      Those are the pertinent points. This person has fixated on me for reasons that have nothing to do with me and to go into a great deal of explanation would take pages. I’ve written two books on the subject, this has been going on for three years, and on and on it goes.”

      Once again BS proves the old chestnut, “Lying liars gotta lie.”

      • You have to consider that the truth makes him look like a maniac to the point that even William recognizes it.

      • Ya know, the “I’ve written two books on the subject” doesn’t suggest someone who wants it all to go away.

      • Holy Crap!

        …fixated on me for reasons that have nothing to do with me …

        You won’t leave him alone! You festering boil!

  12. William the Elder @weltschmerz2015 · 40m 40 minutes ago
    It’s not the lickspittles who will have to pay fines and otherwise suffer if Hoge makes the wrong decision. So, they should zip it.

    Hey, that reminds me. Did anyone tell old man Hoge we ain’t pickin’ up his fines, and we sure as hell ain’t otherwise sufferin’ for him this time. He’s on his own.

    And tell him to hurry up with the next Johnny Atsign.

    CHOP CHOP!!!

  13. “”

    Why is it when he files court papers he uses his name, but when soliciting advice from strangers on the internet he uses the email address in his wife’s name? Why is Bill so ashamed of his own sterling reputation that he is scared for anyone he is asking for free advice to find out who he really is?

  14. While there’s no way on God’s green Earth I’m reading 75 pages of Schmalfeldtian babble, (My sympathies to you, John) I’m delighted to see that “Because horseshit, your honor!” made it in there in living color.

    I wanna find the guy that invented the scroll wheel and kiss him on the mouth.

  15. I read the first two paragraphs picked my jaw up went got a towel to tie my jaw up to keep it off the desktop and a pillow to cushion the desktop for when I was beating my head on it.

    Page one and two are the only pages that pertain to the matter before the court. Oh b.s. might want to take a new toothbrush to court with him.
    As I said over on the thz Shakespeare says it a whole lot better than I.

    There’s letters seal’d, and my two schoolfellows,
    Whom I will trust as I will adders fang’d—
    They bear the mandate, they must sweep my way
    And marshal me to knavery. Let it work;
    For ’tis the sport to have the enginer
    Hoist with his own petard, an’t shall go hard
    But I will delve one yard below their mines
    And blow them at the moon.
    Hamlet Act 3, scene 4, 202–209


  16. Also posted at TMZ:

    Let’s not forget, at the sooper sekrit site we can discuss the many failures (and even more funnies), in the cyberstalking freakshow’s pleadings without helping him.

    Also please remember the MTC hasn’t actually been filed yet, so can be amended. Let’s be very careful to not encourage him to change a single word.

  17. I had to stop about 8 pages in on the first one.

    All I can think is that he really, truly aches for punishment.

    After the sixth time I thought, “No, he can’t be serious!”, it seemed that it was time to stop.

    He documents his own behavior, and somehow thinks that means our *gracious host* is at fault?!

    By the way, I am not, nor have I ever been, anyone’s “minion”.

  18. I think my favorite part is where he certifies that on August 7, 2014 he mailed our gracious host a copy of his motion to dismiss.

  19. Bill, based on all your legal battles with John, (you should know this better then anyone) he doesn’t make mistakes, you do. What will it take for you to realize that you suck just as bad in the courtroom, as you do in every other part of your life? You suck at EVERYTHING.

  20. “William the Elder ‏@weltschmerz2015 · 1h1 hour ago
    Just uploaded Motion to Cancel … #ScribdDocs This is the accurate copy, not the one on Hoge’s blog.”
    So, the first one is “inaccurate”?
    Why should we expect this one to be “accurate” when it has been produced by the same crappy writer under the same incompetent and negligent conditions?
    Why don’t you just hold off until you finally get to the version you have filed with the court and are ready to stand (or wheelchair) behind?
    Show us the one you are ready to bust a hip for.

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