Prevarications Du Jour

The Cabin Boy™ has a long post up at cabinboycomedy dot com that includes an email that he supposedly sent to an Officer Trodden and to Wayne Kirwan who he identifies as a “deputy” Howard County State’s Attorney.

According to the Howard County State’s Attorney’s Office website, Mr. Kirwan serves as Director of Community Justice & Public Information. Mr. Kirwan is not a Deputy State’s Attorney. He isn’t a lawyer. According to his LinkedIn page, Mr. Kirwan has an M.S. in Public Relations from American University but no law degree.

The Cabin Boy™ also states in the alleged email he reproduces in the post that I know the identity of “Paul Krendler.”

I do not.

19 thoughts on “Prevarications Du Jour

    • I have to say the person who sent Bill Schmalfeldt that package just doesn’t know his sh-t. Words have meaning, and, that extends to slang. “Chickensh-t” connotes cowardice, or, sometimes, pettiness. “Bullsh-t” connotes dishonesty, sometimes mixed with pomposity. “Apesh-t” denotes hyperactivity. “Horseshit” merely connotes irrationality.

      Here’s using all in a paragraph:

      Brett Kimberlin is the quintessential bullsh-tter. He would have the world believe that he is for his weight, “the world’s strongest man,” a rock star, a country music promoter, an “expert” on electronic voting machines, a former political prison, a player within the Democratic party, and an important person in Washington DC. The sad reality is that he is a minimum-wage failure living in mommy’s basement. He even “feels” like he is a lawyer, though his legal arguments are consistently horsesh-t. When someone challenges his bullsh-t, he’ll go apesh-t seeking revenge in completely chickensh-t ways.

      I could understand how someone could associate Bill Schmalfeldt with all four types. His legal theories, and, reasoning behind his numerous fail-doxes are horsesh-t. His phoning employers is especially chickensh-t. His grandiose claims about governmental and military service reek of bullsh-t. And, he tends to go completely apesh-t over perceived slights. But, the sad reality is that the fact that his rantings are nonsensical is the least of his numerous faults. Calling “Bullsh-t!” with a tub of horse manure, or “Chickenshit Coward!” with a tub of Chicken feces would have sent a more powerful message.

      As an aside, if I had taken the decision to send Bill Schmalfeldt some bullsh-t by proxy, I wouldn’t use my mailbox. I’d create a dummy account somewhere. What better mnemonic for remembering the name of a dummy mailbox to be used for ordering internet-based feces delivery than “iShit?” Perhaps, we have a big clue as to who had it sent.

  1. Wow. I just read the stuff over at What with all that orbiting, I guess Bill is just admitting that Mr. Hoge is indeed a stellar individual.

    On the tupperware of manure, I wonder how he thinks law enforcement is going to get prints off of it which would lead to someone living in the states, given that the plastic container in question was bought in, packed in, and mailed from Slovakia, presumably by some nice Slovakian(s). So even if they were to waste their time dusting it for prints (and they’d presumably have to get prints from the Schmalfeldts, which I understand usually involves going down to the police station) they wouldn’t find anything that would lead to any of the people that Bill is praying sent it to him even if every single one of us Lickspittles were in the system.

  2. Bill Schmalfeldt @CabinBoyBilly · 54s 54 seconds ago
    In fact, ANYONE who knows the identity of whoever committed this crime could be charged as an accessory if they don’t reveal his ID.

    William is to the practice of law (to say nothing of basic logic) what Bill Cosby is to a first date.

    Let’s watch now as he also tells us to pull up our pans and act right.

    Poor, [redacted] subjected to this twenty-four hours a day without respite.

    • Umm, “No!” Anyone with knowledge of a felony is in some jurisdictions is required to report that knowledge to the police, unless the perpetrator is their spouse. No one has a legal obligation to report a prank. That’s too bad, because, it makes it less likely to find out whoever had the horsesh-t sent from Slovakia. Incidentally, anyone with knowledge of the location of a fugitive from justice could be accused of harboring a known criminal.

      Somehow, that brings the conversation back to Neal Rauhauser. Assuming Bill Schmalfeldt didn’t have the package sent to him, note that’s an assumption not a stipulation, Rauhauser claims to have a certain talent for “social engineering.” A member of Team Kimberlin sending the horsesh-t would be an example of “social engineering.” The results for twenty bucks speak for themselves: Bill Schmalfeldt’s knickers are put in a twist resulting in him attacking Brett Kimberlin’s enemies with greater vigor than usual.

      Someday, Bill Schmalfeldt needs to wake up and smell the horsesh-t.

  3. We know that you’re as “serious as a heart attack, William. That’s what makes this your finest comedy to date. That and the fact that you’re pretending that you fell down and went boom for reasons other than your being so morally crooked that you can’t stand up straight.

  4. Bill Schmalfeldt
    Are you saying I am incorrect in this regard, Kneel And Bob?

    Dear boy, I’m saying that you’re a lunatic and a half wit. This is, what, the fiftieth time that you publicly mused about your narcissistic delusions being of any interest at all to the constabulary.It may well be the sixtieth, I stopped counting ages ago.

    First, stroking the dog caused the boo-boo on your noggin. Then it was the Oopsie-Poopsie. Then it wasn’t again. First EPJW was the culprit, now Howard is. Who shall it be next weekend, William?

    Your a certifiable maniac and three-quarters retarded, but you entertain me so.

    I wish I knew how to quit you. [redacted], too.

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