57 thoughts on “Does the Cabin Boy™ Doubt Acme?

  1. And the advice is priceless:

    “My advice is to get over it try not to have any further communications with this individual”

    “No prosecutor will choose to use the scarce resources of the court to get involved in your private dispute”

    ” Who knows and more importantly who cares?”

    “you need to look at your part in it. This person has been harassing you so you knew when they said “a nice little gift” that it would be something bad. You chose to open it for reasons unstated by you.”

    These from highly experienced attorneys trolling for work…

    • And, typical Bill… avoids the details and the truth like the plague when seeking legal advice.

      1) It’s a gag “gift” from an online retailer.

      2) It’s MANURE. NOT horse feces.

      Again… a simple Google search will tell you the product is intended as a prank, and the product in NO way, shape, or form contains injurious or infectious material — NOR, is it illegal to order such a product, and have it shipped through the United States Postal Service.

      Blob is FAR MORE full of horse sh*t then anything included in the package he received. What a liar.

      And, once again… there are quite a few folks who, mind you, are not particularly fond of the Demented Freak — but, who are trying all the same to educate him so he avoids doing something really, really stupid on Monday. *smh*

      The feedback he received was downright hilarious though! LOL! I’m sure it wasn’t quite what The Elkridge Horror was expecting to hear.


      • Well said written, Grace and all. 😀

        As I’ve written at TMZ, the adjudicated stalker and adjudicated harasser, slapped with multiple restraining/peace orders from multiple states, multiply cuckolded, dementia addled cyber-freakshow will be incredibly lucky if the authorities only laugh at him. I mean win-the-lottery kind of luck. hahaha

        Oh, they may hear him out… possibly… maybe… but there can be zero doubt that once they find out who and more importantly what he is, they’ll take a very dim view of him wasting their time with his attempts to use them to further his harassment.

        Can even the Elkridge horror be so stupid as to even hope any authority will believe him cos he’s a former “fed” and will talk “fed to fed” with them (hahahahaha), totally ignoring the findings of multiple judges in multiple states? LOL LOL

        As others have wisely written, he’d have been much better off to have simply trashed the package and not mentioned it. IF he didn’t send it himself, then whomever sent it wouldn’t have gotten their money’s worth out of the purchase.

        Absolutely no one could have predicted the the depths of the epic feldtdown we got instead. His reaction, and especially the continued doubling down even after the lawyers laughed at him and advised he take a look at himself, will almost certainly guarantee future pranks, whereas silence would have had the opposite effect.

        If I gave a sh*t (SWIDT?), I’d recommend he read & heed the message on the side of the container. I mean, as AReader #1 pointed out, no one likes him. The list of “suspects” is very long, with his own cursed name at the top of the list. There is one repulsive reason for everything. The one common item in every incident is in his mirror.

        However, as things stand, I’m just stocking up on popcorn. 😀

  2. If someone sent me horse manure, I wouldn’t be happy about it. I also would not be tweeting my address, repeatedly, over social media.

      • Within minutes of each other:

        “Do I know 100 percent? Of course not. THAT’S WHAT INVESTIGATORS ARE FOR! And the Postal Inspectors will do a FINE job.”

        “You just sealed your fate, Johnson, My doctors already know about the shit YOU are making up. And they will hear about the shit you mailed.”

  3. Once again, the Elkridge Horror attempts to wiggle his way out of the corner he has painted himself into. Unfortunately for him, there is no joy in Mudville because “Mighty Casey” has struck out.

    First is his identification of his gift as “horse feces” rather than horse manure or horse shit. Feces, in my opinion, are usually associated with human waste such as what is constantly found in the Horror’s Depends. He seems particularly attached to the word “feces”. Why?

    Secondly, his query to the law group suggests that the Learned Senior Partner of Acme Law is nothing more than a Blithering Idiot who knows nothing more about the law than he knows about properly exiting from a Huey. I would think that Bullshit Billy would be a more appropriate nickname for Mr. Schmalfeldt.

    “Incompetent, incontinent and incomprehensible is no way to go through life”


    In the words of someone more learned than I :



  4. Oh, wow! That’s some actual funny stuff there… at least one of the lawyers overtly laughed at the idiot! hahahaha

    The adjudicated stalker and harasser fantasizes that some authority somewhere will do his bidding. hahahaha Some authority somewhere will help him further his ongoing harassment. hahahahahahaha LOL

    Lawyers trolling for clients laughed at his complaint, and this was without knowing he won’t hire them and pay them, that’s how laughable he his complaint is.

    At least one lawyer suggested he look at himself, even though he somehow failed to mention his multiple restraining orders from multiple states due to his frequent and occasionally even admitted harassment of others. hahahaha

    Once again, the freakshow chooses a hill he’s unable to climb, but he puts all his marbles on the proposition that he’ll take the hill and hold onto it. hahahaha The non-Acme lawyers all told him he didn’t have a case; iirc two suggested he turn to other authorities clearly just to give him another avenue away from their site.

    They laughed at him! hahahahaha LOL LOL

    • Is it possible that all the advice on that law site is actually provided by posters from here?

      Close the feedback loop people!

    • Unlike a certain Demented Freak, I actually took the time (like a whole minute or two!) to visit that website. They are very clear their customers’ information will remain anonymous.

      Doesn’t matter anyhoo — I think we all know (with exception of the Drama Queen, of course) that neither Blob’s “fellow” feds or US Postal Inspectors are going to lift finger one (nor, waste valuable time and resources) investigating who is responsible for sending such an appropriate, gag gift to a certain tincan in Elkridge, MD.

  5. The first reply from a lawyer really summed up the episode rather succinctly but CBBS seems to have ignored the most appropriate advice:

    Unstable people can do dangerous things.

    Hope this helps.

    I cannot believe he has not learned his lesson by this time and cut off his own internet service simply to protect himself from himself. Aye, there’s the rub…

  6. I can’t believe some doofus attorney told him to bring it BACK into a post office. The look on the poor clerk’s face is going to be priceless! Also, there is a case number on that business card. That means a police report, gentlelads and ladies!!!! We so gotta get a copy. It’s probably hilarious. I bet Shakey will post it for us, though!

    • I am trying to figure out how many search warrants will be issued for Slovakian addresses. My guess is zero. Which is slightly less than the number of minutes I think the Postal Inspector will spend on his/her investigation.

      • Gee, an international search warrant, to a Slovakian company that accepts BitCoin, but promises to protect your privacy even if you use PayPal?

        If whoever did this, simply used BitCoin and made the purchase through TOR, I don’t see how anyone can prove anything, even if you get favors from the NSA, you know, “fed to fed.”

      • On further thought…

        If you use BitCoin, they don’t need to ask your identity at all.

        If you use PayPal, how about this for a business security model:

        We collect orders, and bill PayPal. What is paid, we delete the contact info and ship. What is not paid, we do not ship.

        By the time the package is mailed, your data is secure. Not saying they do this, just saying it would be easy to do it this way, and they brag about safeguarding your info even with PayPal.

        So you sue them in court; they laugh at a US government, so you sue in Slovakia, and the judge finds them guilty, and fines them “One Euro, and you have to drive me to the hosipital because I busted a gut laughing about this. The Americans pay you to mail them shit?”

  7. He’s back to being 100% positive that it was Eric who sent it, or at least it will be Eric who is arrested for it. It actually seems like he doesn’t really care if Eric sent it or not, just that he can get Eric in trouble for it. Since the odds are somewhere south of nil that any US investigative service would bother trying to subpoena a Slovakian company over a gag gift, even if said company did keep records, I’m not sure what he’s trying to accomplish other than harassment, which I also seem to recall is illegal in TN, as well as the other 49 (or 56) states.

    • Yep. Typical Bill strikes again. Blob cares not for the truth. He just wants to hang EPWJ.

      EPWJ has been admirably relentless in calling The Elkridge Horror out, and has been consistently telling the truth about BS and BS’s disgusting antics. So, in predictable “Team Kimberlin” fashion… the Demented Freak (once again!) is going to use law enforcement, the courts, and any other agency he can deceive to attempt to shut EPWJ up.

      Tis beyond ridiculous the degree to which this kook believes he is so damn entitled to wasting the time and resources of law enforcement. Cue the hilarious whining once Howard County looks into this “sh*t” a wee bit, realizes it’s an innocent, gag gift legally purchased and delivered via an online retailer, and tells the loon, “PFFT.”

      I cannot imagine how tired they are of hearing from the dingbat, drama queen. Bill Schmalfeldt needs to seek serious mental help in a serious way. His hate-fueled, maniacal obsessions, and his deranged desire to destroy anyone-and-everyone who *dares* speak ill of him, are clear evidence of a man on the edge.


    • I know, right? I thought the exact same thing when I saw that tweet on his timeline. The dude can bust out how many tweets per minute, but can’t open an envelope/package?

      #LyingLiarsLie — And, he’s just absolutely terrible at it, too.

      Another thought that crossed my mind was…

      * With the company Bill Schmalfeldt keeps (an “excellent friend” who has been known to play Blob like a fiddle — not to mention a VERY disturbing history of interest in explosives); and,

      * The “Enemies List” Bill Schmalfeldt has created for himself via his vast history of (and, continued) harassment, stalking, threats, and abuse of many, many, many people…

      … how kind it was of BS to hand a package of unknown contents to his wife to open. What a man!


      • I hadn’t considered that, Grace, though I’d bet a lot that the demented cyberfreak, repeatedly adjudicated harasser and adjudicated stalker most certainly did. That is, of course, IF he didn’t send it himself with the dual purpose of falsely accusing yet another innocent, along with the bonus of having his wife open it but maintaining plausible deniability (at least in his own mind, not a high bar).

        Who knows? Maybe she did try to rein him in, and this is his (fabricated) proof to show her that he really is being harassed in non-imaginary ways. Again, her opening the package is a bonus and punishment for not believing him initially. She likely is very aware that his words are not to be trusted; both as he claimed because of his dementia, and as we all know, because he’s a lying liar.

        And for the record, I also don’t believe EPWJ had anything to do with the package, or any knowledge of it. Remarks that the freakshow hasn’t read (and can’t) before and after receipt, along with general knowledge of EPWJ make me certain he had nothing to do with it.

        Funny isn’t it, how a few weeks ago he’d have been certain it was someone else in his sights at the time and would have built his mirage of a case around that person. A few weeks from now, he’ll be certain it’s someone else; whomever has hurt him worst most recently.

        Grace is right – the list of possible senders is endless but I’d put the freakshow at the top of the list of most likely, followed closely by his “friends” who laugh at him and mock him. Again, I didn’t see any cheerleaders egging him on, so am not sure which “pal” is most likely. I am surprised anyone on TK had the sense to keep quiet if they sent it. Seems a lot more likely they’d have been fanning the flame they paid $ for.

  8. Again thanks for the overwhelming support – I didn’t send it, don’t know who sent it – but I can assure you I will let every investigating agency know why someone with questionable audio child rape fantasies, would be inclined to try and cause me trouble so to speak…

    If there is any after all investigations start with the gathering and sequestering of evidence.

    • I, of course, will only speak for myself… but, I do not believe for even a hot second you sent this gag gift to the demented freak, EPWJ.

      The list of possible individuals is endless. As I stated above, Bill Schmalfeldt has abused and alienated far too many people to count going on YEARS now. You just happen to be the sociopath’s most current obsession.

      I have much sympathy for you anticipating the nonsense BS is going to attempt to inflict upon your time. If there is anything I can do to help ease the burden, please do not hesitate to ask.

  9. Still trying to figure out how a heroic military man who saved lives in Beirut and repelled from Hueys has turned into a trailer-dwelling narcissist whose biggest worry is horse dung. So sad, so sad…

  10. Reblogged this on Truth Before Dishonor and commented:
    My grandmother (msrip) used to have a Texas Turd Bird sitting on her TV. I thought it was stupid when I was 8. This gag gift is stupid, too. But the Mayonnaise Mauler is totally unhinged. Nobody is more deserving of that particular type of stupid gift than him.

    • I am all for the postal inspectors “doing a fine job.” Unfortunately for Bill Schmalfeldt, that involves them either blacklisting a certain company from sending packages to America–a result with which I have no problem–or it will tell him that no violations of Postal Regulations has occurred. Unfortunately for the Truth, Postal Inspectors are not going to ascertain which member of Team Kimberlin, or which member of Team Lickspittle, or which member of Knot Wisconsin, or which Examiner writer, or which [Daily] Kossack, or which fail-dox victim, or which neighbor, or which estranged family member, etc., sent the package. Too bad!

      I’m reminded of the story of former Congressman Anthony Weiner. After posting inadvertently a photo of his “junk” on his FB page, he told the press that his account had been hacked and the photo left by the hacker. One commenter noted about his claim, “If his account was hacked, a crime has occurred, and he has every reason to contact the police. But, if his account was not hacked, he would be filing a false police report and placing himself in legal jeopardy. To date, Anthony Weiner has not filed a police report.”

      I find it telling that the person Bill Schmalfeldt accuses of sending the package is encouraging him to complain to the authorities, while Bill Schmalfeldt, himself, is trying to drop this matter in exchange for an “apology.”

  11. And isn’t it interesting he’s screaming about “MY WIFE OPENED A CONTAINER OF HORSE SHIT!!!”. When he was the one who gave her that container that was CLEARLY marked “THIS IS HORSE SHIT”.

    Why did you make you wife open that container when you KNEW what was in it?

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