Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s next opportunity to embarrass himself in court is coming on Friday. He’s filed for a peace order petition against Patrick Grady. As I pointed out in an earlier post, there doesn’t seem to be any actual legal basis for his petition.

It looks as if Schmalfeldt’s behavior toward Mr. Grady has violated Md. Crim. Law § 3-803, the general harassment statute. I have seen an incomplete list of harassing contacts alleged to have occurred after Mr. Grady asked TDPS to knock it off. There were 23 separate items, 15 of which occurred after the Cabin Boy™ had been served with the paperwork for the Illinois no contact petition. It may be that the person entitled to a Maryland peace order is Mr. Grady.

popcorn4bkIt would be a shame for him to come all the way to Maryland and not take a few minutes to fill out the paperwork and spend a few more in an ex parte hearing with a judge. Perhaps TDPS’s attempt at pushback will cause him more trouble that it’s worth.

Stay tuned.

90 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Some times you have to use a backfire to fight a fire. tdps(no caps) needs to get a lawyer. Oh maybe read a weather forecast for MD on Friday.

  2. CB Parody Records ‏@CBParodyRecords
    If HOGE wants to turn my beef with Grady to a proxy war with him? Swell! The man can’t beat me straight up and fair.

    I would say that our esteemed host has beat the Troll of Elkridge like a rented mule. But the Troll, being the not bright sort of troll, hasn’t figured out that when you are subject to a peace order, a peace order extension, a NEW peace order, and have to agree to remove copyright infringing material from your ‘books’ that you are not on the winning side.

    Of course anyone with a modicum of self respect or dignity would have realized their failures in the legal arena by now, but who are we kidding. The Troll possesses neither self respect or dignity.

      • Of course those who would “pack heat” to a courthouse will still be “packing heat” to the courthouse!

        I wonder what Hoge is supposed to be lying to the judge about. That he never actually said he’d drop the PO without certain preconditions being met? .

        • I wonder why the Cabin Boy™ thinks I would speak to the judge. I’m not a party. I’m unaware of any probative testimony I don’t have any facts to offer that might bear on his petition.

          Indeed, I wonder why he thinks I’ll be in the courtroom. All I have said is that I will have coverage and that I expect multiple bloggers to be present. I haven’t said that I’ll be among them. I may, but I may not.

      • All Howard has said is that he does not drink when he’s carrying, and I said “Ditto.” No one has said they will be armed at all. Is there a bar of some sort at the court that we’re unaware of? Does the bailiff serve mixed drinks?

  3. I carry, so what – I would also probably carry to the court house – so what – My wife also checks the car for bombs – so what – I have failed spectacularly at many things – so what – I have been wrong many times – so what

    What I haven’t done is make porn with children – hard to explain to judges for anyone –

    • Is the “pron w/children” accusation about the boyscout thing? Or are there other documents? I’m wondering how far down he has fallen. The boyscout thing was pretty gross.

  4. Thousands I have thousands of potential slides for anyone that needs them.

    I will say this:

    No one has been investigated, arrested or reported on by anything that someone who makes non parody CD’s of small children having sex has bragged was going to happen based upon the infor they sent to various organizations and jurisdictions.

    Once these audio’s are heard by the courts harassment statutes may become the least of his worries.

  5. William’s been particularly sensational of late. On one hand, he’s mock terrified that someone would consider wasting perfectly good ammunition on him, yet concurrently believes that he can overcome the legal and common sense principles of relevance in having the entire gallery sworn under oath by virtue of his winning personality and deep, dumb voice. Since William has never seen any of his potential witnesses before, I’m left to assume that he’ll be calling people to the stand randomly. How I would love to seem him declaring, “Hey you. in the shirt. Come hither and testify!” .

    He also appears to be telegraphing another of his delightfully crafted lawsuits to be served on Friday. I do hope that’s true and that someone immediately posts it online. I’ve missed Paragraph 83 and Oliver Wendell Jones more than mere words can express.

    If only I could be there to witness the hilarity in person.

  6. Forgive me. I overlooked the possibility that William’s faux pants-crapping over being shot could in fact be genuine (if not uncommon) pants-crapping. Oopsie poopsie.

    And since he seems so horridly disappointed at it not being mentioned this morning, may I suggest that everyone chip in and buy William the biggest tub of mayo you can find before the hearing?

    • STOP IT, STOP IT, YOU GUYS! I’m trying to accomplish things today but I can’t ’cause I’m laughing so hard I may have to invest in some Depends!

    • Also, if mayonnaise really is “America’s top condiment,” you people are far more savage than I previously thought.

  7. Someone just phoned me pretending to be a guy from a trailer park wondering about something and all I can say is – if someone hypothetically makes tapes of boy scouts having sex or trying to sell the services of a young girl in another audio tape or posted pictures of young children on websites and made suggestive comments – that person might have some tough questions to answer in a court of law.

    My comments are general commentary and opinion of anyone’s situation, I would highly advise people to not make audio sex tapes of small children or post young girls on their websites making suggestive comments – it can be difficult to answer in a court of law.

    • Hadn’t you previously asked William not to contact you? I assume that he’s saddened by the fact there remain 48 (soon to be 47) states where there isn’t an active restraining order with his name on it.

      Collect the whole set, William!

      • CB Parody Records
        You’ve crossed the line @Mayberryville. That’s all I can say. You have crossed the line.

        Now you’ve done it, epwj! Check your mail and be ready to count how often William misspells his own name. Or shall he call the heat on you? Only the Jiggles knows!

      • I do not worry about anyone who gets offended when someone posts that its not a good idea for anyone to make audio sex tapes of young children or posts pictures of young girls on his websites and may make suggestive comments.

        People can get worked up over the strangest things.

      • Leave time to get through the metal detectors, and get a good seat. The complainant is usually on the right hand side, facing the bench.

    • We’re still meeting friday for lunch at the same place/time we discussed right? Ive still got some questions & suggestions. Can’t wait to see everybody.

      • My flight – assuming it’s not delayed – will get me there in good time! I look forward to meeting all of you!

        I wondered if there was a near-by range. I can’t fly with a weapon, but I’d love to go shooting.

        • There’s a decent indoor range at the On Target on MD175 just east of the BW Parkway (actually the MD175 exit is right at the boundary between the Parkway and MD295. Same road/different jurisdictions. MD 175 is about 3 mi south of the exit from MD295 for BWI airport.

          From the District Courthouse:

          Take Rogers Ave N about 1/2 mile to US40.
          Go L on US40.
          At the junction with US29 take US29 S toward Columbia. Stay in the left lane.
          Take the left exit from US29 onto MD100.
          Take the BW Parkway S toward Washington.
          Take the MD175 Exit E toward Ft Meade. Go not quite 1/2 mile.
          On Target is in the large strip mall on the left.

    • To be parody it had to make fun of an existing something, I wonder if a tape like that being played in court, I wonder what the reaction would be?

      Kimberlin wrote a song about dating young girls, a tape I heard somewhere was actually graphically describing a sex act including the eruption of fluids into a boy aged I believe 9.

      Oh well, maybe we just don’t understand satire…

    • A Parody is not covered under this statute in MD:

      §11–207. Child pornography

      (a) A person may not:

      (3) use a computer to depict or describe a minor engaging in an obscene act, sadomasochistic abuse, or sexual conduct;

      (4) knowingly promote, advertise, solicit, distribute, or possess with the intent to distribute any matter, visual representation, or performance:

  8. Again I have no confirmation of who called me, also the connection was terrible, however I will state that it will be difficult to explain audio sex tapes being marketed worldwide, of young children, even in fantasy, it tends to undermine credibility and can lead to looking into other things like the use of copyrighted material in the other side. Also in Europe the standards for Child Porn is very low, and I would caution anyone to not make child audio sex tapes or post pictures of young girls on your websites –

    Judges and especially juries tend to get VERY VERY VERY VERY angry at people who think they are clever and cute while making explicit audio tapes of children having sex.

    Hypothetically speaking. I would strongly advise against making graphic sex tapes of boys in grade school having sex

    • William admits it was him on the Twitters.

      That being the case, did you enjoy having a “man to man” conversation with someone who lacks functioning genitals?

      • Stop, I can’t take much more of this! I think Costco sells Depends in bulk, I may need them at this rate.

      • there was no conversation, I didn’t have anything to say to the person saying they were him, I still don’t have confirmation that it was him, and I cannot recall with any certainty what was said I wasn’t really paying attention, I do that when people of no consequence to me call. I do remember the static, and the whining, I can imagine the angst that if I had another court date pending, yet again, and someone might be playing something I made that I really don’t want a judge to hear – I would lash out too, its understandable.

  9. “Nice try, Eric. No cigar. I have written and produced comedy routines as is my right under the First Amendment. No children were involved. No children are depicted as having sex on any of the pieces I’ve produced. I haven’t produced anything with young girls making suggestive comments. All voices on my Parody recordings are my own.” Folks, if you have to ask what someone means, and they don’t mention your name, and you distort what they say, and you think you’re going to magically win something, I have a bridge in Brooklyn you may be interested in buying.

    • “No children are depicted as having sex on any of the pieces I’ve produced.”
      Oh. So it must have been my imagination when I heard that tape of an adult pretending to be a 9 year old boy scout, asking an older boy why he was putting his penis in his “pooter hole.”

      • Now be careful – it might have been totally accidental that that tape was produced with such graphic descriptions, we may all be imagining it, then again maybe we should let a judge sort it out and better yet a jury! Moms and dads miding work for a day of listening to the tape would be very understanding of the situation because considering someone who went to the time and trouble writing, acting and producing a track and marketing it worldwide – it must be okay?

      • I want to state, for the record, that every adult has a First Amendment right to write, produce, record, and star in a skit in which said adult acts as both the victim of an anal rape, and the perpetrator of said rape. I say go into court and shout that from the rooftops. Play the tape for the judge and jury. Play it a LOT. For good measure, when you are arguing that your body of work on anal rape is limited to a piece about adults in the Daily Kos, proudly mention that you’ve expanded into “parody” audio recordings of anal rape between children.

      • Make sure to enter the comment section on that Daily Kos sex piece. Wouldn’t want the judge to miss those. Someone(I vote Paul K) could produce a dramatic reading of the entire thing, just to make it easier on the Judge.

      • I do some voice work. I’d be glad to give a very dry reading of a transcript. ‘Course based on the excerpts, I’d have to vomit several times. But whatever for a proper reading…

      • Paul K writes in large part because he has been blessed with the dulcet tones of a rutting cat being dragged across an ice field in a chain mail bag filled with gravel and sixteen-penny nails.

  10. CB Parody Records @CBParodyRecords · 4m 4 minutes ago
    I have never published a pornographic picture of Hoge, as that term is understood in US law. Hoge wants no part of what’s about to happen.

    Hm, I wonder what’s under seal then?

    Also, does this qualify as a Doom Clock or a Dire Warning? I do get confused sometimes.

  11. If I posted a picture of a young girl and made comments that she was having sex or a boy in his underwear and talking about penis and other things on a screen captured website I wonder if those would fall under this section of 11-207 MD criminal Statutes:

    (5) use a computer to knowingly compile, enter, transmit, make, print, publish, reproduce, cause, allow, buy, sell, receive, exchange, or disseminate any notice, statement, advertisement, or minor’s name, telephone number, place of residence, physical characteristics, or other descriptive or identifying information for the purpose of engaging in, facilitating, encouraging, offering, or soliciting unlawful sadomasochistic abuse or sexual conduct of or with a minor.

    (b) A person who violates this section is guilty of a felony and on conviction is subject to:

    (1) for a first violation, imprisonment not exceeding 10 years or a fine not exceeding $25,000 or both; and

    (2) for each subsequent violation, imprisonment not exceeding 20 years or a fine not exceeding $50,000 or both.

    (c) (1) (i) This paragraph applies only if the minor’s identity is unknown or the minor is outside the jurisdiction of the State.

    (ii) In an action brought under this section, the State is not required to identify or produce testimony from the minor who is depicted in the obscene matter or in any visual representation or performance that depicts the minor engaged as a subject in sadomasochistic abuse or sexual conduct.
    under 11-207 sec 5


    • I’m willing to state for the record that I do not believe that William M. Schmalfeldt is a child pornographer. If he was, Kimberlin’s roommate would have moved to Elkridge by now.

      I do not believe that William M. Schmalfeldt is a pedophile. However, he will suck up to one if he’ll get a ride out of it.

  12. Interesting commentary that many believe that Child porn laws cover nude children having sex and not much else. that’s where people can underestimate their statutory risk, even encouraging middle school kids to “get it on” and/or graphically describe a grade school sex act can trigger the most unwanted of reviews of one’s personal freedoms and options

    • Ya know what I love about our tradition of English Common Law? The idea of the “Reasonable Person”. It’s fantastic that the State returns the power of judgment to twelve “Reasonable People” to decide just what is dangerous to society and what the written word of law actually means.

      Don’t worry, the “peers” was a classist concept that allowed nobility to be tried by their own kind. Here in the good old USofA, Moms, Dads, big Brothers, Priests, all kinds of good folks get to serve on juries.

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