Shameless Commerce

The easiest way to discredit Bill Schmalfeldt is to quote Bill Schmalfelt.

—Stacy McCain

Yep. And the easiest way to quote him wholesale is make his latest book more widely available. Why not let him embarrass himself in his own words?animus_nocendiYou can buy a copy from Amazon by clicking on this link. Of course, the Cabin Boy™ will make a few bucks on each sale, but so will I—and I’ll pass all the earnings through to the Bomber Sues Bloggers fund.

UPDATE—The purpose of promoting this book is not to embarrass the Cabin Boy™. To do that, he would need to have a sense of shame, so embarrassment is clearly off the table. No, the purpose is to discredit him.

57 thoughts on “Shameless Commerce

  1. That’s a freaking low blow Hoge.

    Willy is on the verge of a milestone. Another day or so he’ll breaking the ONE MILLION mark in Amazon Sales Ranking (currently #821,438).

    You’re just trying to steal this moment away from him.

  2. Bill Schmalfeldt @ComedyVengeance · 13s
    Perry. Why so fixated on my book sales? Do I keep track of the hoboes whose salads you toss?

    I do it to embarrass you. You are a pathetic “author” and the number of your “books” that don’t sell belies that fact. Face it Bill, nobody buys your “books”, nobody ever has bought your “books”, and no one ever will buy your “books”. You are a failure at writing just like you are a failure at everything else in your life.

    That’s why.

    And I have no idea what that second sentence even means. You see, a REAL writer would have been able to think up a great comeback. But once again you FAIL.

    • I’ve been around a while but I’ve never, ever heard that term.

      But it always has to be the butt with him, doesn’t it?

      Then he has to ask “Why do people say I’m anally fixated?”

      • Same here. He has spend the last several days tweeting revolting comments about genitalia, butt stuff, and derogatory comments about women and the mentally handicapped. Revolting.

    • Cousin Bill ejaculates:

      “And what does it say about YOU that YOU know what the term “toss salad” means, defiler of the family name?”

      Means I’ve sat on several jury trials for the likes of you, Gillette, and Kimberlin, Cousin Bill. Plus, I help organize our local sex-offender honeypot. You know, the ones where the offenders are grooming a child online, and there’s nothing but burly, pissed-off cops when the offenders show up with flowers, condoms, and duct tape. Good for laughs, that “oh, holy shit” expression when they realized they’ve been felony pwned!

      The unpleasant knowledge comes with the turf, not from personal experience.

      Speaking of defiling the family name, care to point to any activity of yours in the last five years that brings any credit to the family?

      Ok, that’s a tough one. How about the last ten years?

    • Yes, Projection Bill at his finest. By reading whatever actions he claims to hate, one can assume that he does/has done those very things. And by assume, I mean one can fine actual examples pretty quickly. See: “internet harassment,” “defamation,” “violating the ethics code of the Society of Professional Journalists,” and “stupidity,” among others.

    • Hoge NEVER attacks you. He points out certain unpleasant facts, then steps away. Yet you harass. Personally, I’m never comfortable with comments about your health, or wife or home. But really, have you said or done anything to make yourself a target? “I want it all!”

  3. And Bill, by definition, you cannot “stalk” someone who is always in the exact same place doing the exact same thing almost every single day of his life.

  4. Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@ComedyVengeance · 1m
    Disgusting lickspittles, eating the undigested corn and peanuts from Hoge’s feces, and they call ME revolting. Sakes.

    You can’t discredit someone who never had any “credibility” to begin with

    • If only we had 15 year old girlfriends. We would be William’s “most excellent friends” thereafter.

      • Hitler was also thought to have a feces fascination.

        Of course, that isn’t a fair analogy. A quick Google search demonstrates that Hitler was known things other than that.

  5. Previously posted at the International House of Krendler

    A few casual observations, if I might.

    1) William’s worst invective is directed at women.
    2) William’s response to male critics is either frenzied imaginations of their genitalia or possible homosexual behavior.
    3) William has what seems to be an endless reservoir of gay pornography and/or photographs of the nude male anatomy at his fingertips.
    4) He’s endlessly detailed his cuckolding from his first two wives but, to my knowledge, never said that he was the one to leave them.

    I’m hardly going to present myself as an authority on psychoanalysis, but sometimes a cigar is a pole that William seems desperate to smoke.

    Fear not, good sir. We won’t judge you. You’ll always have a safe place to dance with us!

  6. From
    However, people like LS are in violation of Federal Law for posting negative reviews of a product they have neither purchased nor read.

    There is a federal law about posting comments about a book they have not purchased or read? Seriously? Is this more “Acme law” at work? Inquiring minds want to know.

    • You say that is from Amazon, or are you copying that from Bill?

      Because he tried that a few days ago, and got nowhere. No it is not a federal crime to post a review on Amazon without reading the book. It may be against their TOS, but I don’t think so, seeing as how both reviews are still up.

      • Should have been more precise. This was ON but NOT posted BY Sorry for the confusion. I assume the quote came from or through Parvocampus or one of his “friends” or sock puppets.

        Something about the 1st amendment and prior restraint of speech just seems a bit at odds with such a statement…

      • He came up with something from Sec. 15 of the US Code that had to do with trademarks. Once again Bill read something completely wrong.

      • Apparently, it may be against federal law to claim something is against federal law when it isn’t really against federal law. However, we have search the federal code to verify this.

        But it may be against federal law to search the federal code to determine if it is against federal law to claim something is against federal law when it isn’t really against federal law.

        But none of this has been confirmed as of now.

    • That’s the Honorable Oliver Wendell Jones at work again.

      According to his most learned offerings, all of us are jail. Right now.

    • Considering the number of products at Amazon that have gotten notoriety just for the joke reviews, positive and negative, it’s clearly not something anyone would pursue.

      Arguably it might be “tortious interference”, but, then, so would calling someone’s employer and making veiled threats.

    • It’s cute that Wee Willy Widebody wants to tell everyone to quit hating a serial harasser and faildoxer as if telling the truth, acting in self-defense, or mockery somehow equals hate.

    • wow, looks like I missed the feltdown again…darn this thing called having a life and living it!

      Two things..
      1. considering FAILWhale Willy has spent the last 2 days doing nothing but spew hate, he should take his own advice and
      2. I’d have to start hating first in order to stop, and Twinkie really isn’t worth it…

      comments will be light tomorrow as I will be at a massive labor day party with friends and family, (something FAIL Whale Willy the deranged thieving cyberstalker has no knowledge or understanding of).

      I hope everyone has a great and safe holiday.


  7. Willy, I thought you didn’t delete tweets?

    He just memory-holed hundreds of the past couple of days tweets.

    Freaking coward.

      • What on earth?!!eleventy?? You made a mistake and immediately correct the error, notifying everyone, adding to your already estimable credibility rather than diminishing it in any way?

        Obviously you’re not using Schmafeldtian rules.

      • Well in fairness I just clicked on the wrong button.

        It isn’t like I just cut-and-pasted together a book nobody reads……

  8. Pingback: TOM asks if Brett Kimberlin will ever learn… | Batshit Crazy News

      • I found this when I was looking into what the lowest ranking on Amazon was:

        “I’m astonished to learn this because my own, special interest, 32 page how to manual, which had a single press run in 1980 and is completely obsolete now, is ranked #4,364,147. It is so out of print, the only existing copy I’m aware of is at a small Bible college in Ohio.”

        Hilarious. Although I doubt Bill’s screeds would ever find a place in a “small Bible college in Ohio”.

        Although I do sense a meme developing.

      • I know you’re joking, John Hitchcock, but this is a good opportunity to quote our new friend, Techno Jinx, who has the right idea, imnsho:

        I’ll just donate directly to BomberSuesBloggers & hit your tip jar rather than give that lying thieving POS even so much as a penny of my hard earned money.

        Besides, his ranking is already dropping as if he’s putting his full weight into it. hahahaha

  9. I write only to note that under the “Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed” part of B.S.’s page, we see this item. I’m not sure what to make of that, other than perhaps your readers are contemplating making BLT’s for the State of Texas. That said, the 18 Pack of 48 oz. Kraft Mayonnaise undoubtedly will be more useful and rhetorically coherent, than Mr. S’s epic tale of woe.


  10. FYI – I have just posted a Bleg at TMZ. Not looking for money but information. Although money is nice, too. Go here and follow the simple instructions.

    I think it will be FUN. Because that’s all I have.

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