Poor Bill, He Just Can’t Help It

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™ seems bound and determined to shoot himself in the foot. He’s now ranting about having a motion ready on Monday to reopen his counterclaim against “Paul Kindler” and me. (It will be interesting to see how successful he is filing it on Labor Day.)

Under the terms of our settlement agreement, Local Rule 111, and Judge Hollander’s settlement order, the Cabin Boy™ has the right “to move for good cause within 30 days [of 15 August, 2014] to reopen this action if settlement is not consummated.” My only obligations under the settlement agreement were to dismiss my amended complaint (done), refrain from republishing any of the Cabin Boy’s™ material (so far, so good), and to bear my own costs related to the lawsuit (done). “Paul Krendler” has no obligations under the settlement agreement—he is not a party to it. Thus, as far as my side of the bargain is concerned, the settlement agreement has been/is being consummated. One wonders where he will find “good cause” that I have not delivered on my part of the deal.

Indeed, the only breach of the agreement has been by TDPS™. He thought he could get away with publishing in his recent book material from Hogewash! as exhibits from one of his court filings. However, what he published was not from the actual court documents but from his working files used to create the documents. I suppose he could argue that he should be able to reopen the case since he breached the agreement, but … no … surely TDPS™ isn’t stupid enough to try that.

There’s one other thing that TDPS™ may want to consider. If he petitions to reopen the action, he can’t reopen just his counterclaim. He will be asking that the Hoge v. Schmalfeldt lawsuit be reopened. That means he will be facing the copyright suit again.

I will not be amused.

UPDATE—The Cabin Boy™ really shouldn’t rely on Acme for his legal opinions. Here’s the actual settlement order.

Note that the order refers to “this action” being dismissed. By “this action” Judge Hollander is referring to the one in the caption, i.e., “Hoge v. Schmalfeldt, Ciivll Action No. ELH-14-01683.” The order permits reopening “this action” if the settlement is not consummated. That means my copyright lawsuit. There is no provision for opening just the counterclaims.

popcorn4bkIf The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™ wants to pursue those claims without having to face the copyright suit, he will need to file his own lawsuit. If he wants to file in federal court ($400 filing fee), he will need to find a legitimate federal cause of action or he will have to drop me from the case in order to have diversity of citizenship. Or he could file a state suit ($135 filing fee). Either way, he would open himself up for counterclaims and some rather interesting and intensive discovery.

22 thoughts on “Poor Bill, He Just Can’t Help It

  1. Pretty sure he doesn’t want you amused. He’s just angry. I’m sure he’ll calm down by the time he gets to the courthouse Monday.

    • And when the Courthouse isn’t open on Labor Day?
      Well…… !!!1!!!!! and eleventy and all that. Hoge’s Fault

  2. Oh my! Poor Grady is going “carry the rap” for um, uh… um… Well, I suppose he’s going to “carry the rap” for laughing at CBBS humiliating himself again. hahahaha

    Seriously – he never sound more stupid than when he tries to mimic old detective movies, amiright?

  3. ” He and Grady will have to bear the freight. ”

    Are Schmalfeldt’s attempts to drag Hoge into situations extraneous to Hoge’s blog considered harassment? And Schmalfeldt is under a protection order? Hmm…

  4. I honestly didn’t believe he could prove himself stupider and more self destructive then he already has. I stand corrected.

    • That is the number one “most often repeated” comment about him. That was the 1693455th time stated, if my memory serves me correctly.

  5. Mr Hoge, if I may ask…
    It’s my understanding that the copyright suit settlement had nothing to do with either dropping or pursuing the P.O so your decision that Schmalfeldt’s behaviour warranted getting it has no effect on the settlement, am I right?


      • that’s what I thought. One wonders where Schmalfeldt gets the idea that your pursuit of the PO reopens his counterclaim, without reopening your copyright suit…
        Acme Legal must be sending in the C team on THAT one…


  6. I swear, it seems like the problems with both BS and BK will never be resolved, short of the death of one party; and should that party be our gracious host, I’m not convinced a lawsuit wouldn’t be carried on against his family.

    (In no way does this indicate I wish the death of any party involved…since I have no doubt someone will interpret it that way.)

  7. A message to the Elkridge Horror:

    Sometime yesterday, you posted a short tweet….

    Bill Schmalfeldt @ComedyVengeance · 10h

    The astounding stupidity of WJJ Hoge. The counterclaim was part of the settlement. I can move to reopen. Hoge is no legal genius.

    …..From a absolute scum-sucking cretin who continues to posture and portray himself as the “world’s greatest legal genius evah”, you negligently committed the most egregious error ever for an attorney….an error that would definitely get you sued and, in all probability, disbarred. You forgot (if you ever knew) to check the court calendar for the status of a case in which there was a pending issue that involved you or your client. That is major league stupid!!!! Just so you know, every attorney that is aware of this spectacle is laughing their ass off at YOU!!! “Bill Schmalfeldt” = Wile E. Coyote. They will remember you long after you have become food for worms, numb-nuts! “Bill Schmalfeldt” = ‘SOOPER’ GENIUS = SEAMAN SLURPER. You are nothing more than a loathsome parasite that clogs the legal system with your penny-ante twisted and befuddled legal shenanigans.

    Acme Law? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    You poor dumb schmuck! Not even smart enough to take care of your own legal calender!

    You are in no position to render an opinion about anyone else! You, Bill Schamlfeldt, are the dumbest idiot alive! That is why you are now and forevermore known as


    that only HP Lovecraft could accurately envision.

    Have a nice day!

  8. Pingback: When Bill Steps on His Crank… | BILLY SEZ – The words of W.M. Schmalfeldt, Sr., Serial Litigant, Woman Hater, Jackwagon

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