BlognetTitleCardMUSIC: Theme. Intro and fade under.

NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

MUSIC: Up, then under …

NARRATOR: You’re a Detective Sergeant. You’re assigned to Internet Detail. A noted deranged cyberstalker has been using the copyrighted works of bloggers as part of his campaign of harassment against them. When confronted with legitimate copyright takedown notices, he has responded with false copyright claims that have temporarily disrupted certain websites. Your job … get the facts.

MUSIC: Up then under …

ANNOUNCER: Blognet … the documented drama of an actual case. For the next few minutes, in cooperation with the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department, you will travel step by step on the side of the good guys through an actual case transcribed from official files. From beginning to end, from crime to punishment, Blognet is the story of the good guys in action.

MUSIC: Up and out.

SOUND: Footsteps in hallway.

FRIDAY: It was Wednesday, July 9th. It was clear and unseasonably cool in Westminster. We were working the overnight watch out of Internet Detail. My partner’s Liz Smith. The Boss is Twitter Town Sheriff W. J. J. Hoge. My name’s Friday. It was 6:06 am when I returned to Room S-140. Internet Detail.

SOUND: Door opens. Footsteps across room.

SMITH: Hey, Joe, did they have the fresh stuff ready?

SOUND: Bag placed on table. Bag rustles as contents are removed.

FRIDAY: Uh, huh. The the bagels were just coming out of the oven. I had to wait for ‘em to cool.

SOUND: Chair pulled out.

SMITH: (Mouth full.) Mmmm. Pass the cream cheese.

FRIDAY: Here. Did I see the Boss’s car in the parking lot?

SMITH: Yeah. He came in early.

FRIDAY: Hmmm. I wonder what’s …

SOUND: Door opens.

SHERIFF: Joe, Liz, come into my office.

SMITH: Be right there.

SOUND: Chairs pushed back. Footsteps across room.

FRIDAY: What’s up, Sheriff?

SHERIFF: Have you two been following the copyright brouhaha going on between Parvocampus and me?

FRIDAY: Yes, sir.

SMITH: Uh, huh.

SHERIFF: And you remember that he was subject of a peace order concerning me?

SMITH: Sure. We did some of the background work on it. Didn’t it just expire?

FRIDAY: We handled the stakeout at BlogBash.

SHERIFF: That’s right, and that’s why I want you on this.

FRIDAY: On what, sir?

SHERIFF: Take a look at these. He tried to make these comments to my blog last night.

SOUND: Paper shuffling.

SMITH: Has he lost his mind? If this isn’t extortion, it’s a near miss.

FRIDAY: Does he really believe that you’ve tried to claim a copyright on those public domain images?

SHERIFF: Yeah, it’s bullshit. But the way he’s acting out, Parvocampus is likely to put out a metric buttload of this nonsense over the next few days. I want you two to monitor it and build a file.

SMITH: Why? What’s your goal?

SHERIFF: Just because one peace order has expired doesn’t mean a new one can’t be issued.

FRIDAY: Well, at least Parvocampus is trustworthy.

SHERIFF: How’s that?

FRIDAY: It’s seems we can always trust him to screw up.

MUSIC: Stinger and under.

FRIDAY: The Boss handed us the file. Then he told us to go home at the end of our shift but to keep our eyes open over the next few days.

Monday, July 14th. 11:29 pm.

SMITH: Whoa, Joe, take a look at this..

FRIDAY: Whatcha got?

SMITH: I was going through the Boss’s email traffic. Parvocampus hit him with a DMCA takedown notice.

FRIDAY: On what?

SMITH: The NASA stuff. This email forwarded by his web hosting provider has Parvocampus claiming to be authorized to file the notice as the copyright agent for NASA.

FRIDAY: Heh. I’ve got a contact down at the NASA Inspector General’s Office. He won’t be at work this late at night, but I can catch him early tomorrow morning. Let’s see what he says about this.

Tuesday, July 15th, 7:32 am.

SOUND: Door opens. Steps across room. Chair pulled out.

SHERIFF: Joe, what are you and Liz still doing here? I thought you were on overnight watch.

FRIDAY: I was hanging around to make a follow up phone call to a guy at the NASA OIG. It’s after 7:30. He should be in by now.

SOUND: Phone picked up. Number dialed.

FRIDAY: Good morning. This is Sergeant Friday, Twitter Town Internet Detail. Is Special Agent James available? … Yes, I’ll hold. … Hello, this is Joe Friday. Did you get that email I forwarded to you? … Yes, that’s the one. Do you folks have an interest in the matter? … I see. When did he contact NASA? … Is there anything we can do to assist you? … Yes, I can send that. … Of course, we will leave that to you, and I’ll pass your recommendation along. … No, not a problem. Give me a call if you need more. … Sure thing. … Good bye.

SOUND: Phone hung up.

FRIDAY: Off the record, he thinks you should get another peace order.

SHERIFF: It’s looking more and more like I will.

FRIDAY: We continued to keep track of Parvocampus’s activities.

Wednesday, July 16th, 11:14 pm.

SMITH: Over the past 27 hour, Parvocampus has tried to make 16 comments on the Boss’s blog.

FRIDAY: That makes a couple of dozen blog comments and raft of emails. Those are clear violations of the no-contact demand.

SMITH: And that DMCA nonsense is clearly harassment. It’s time for the Boss to pull the trigger on a new peace order petition.

FRIDAY: Yeah, let’s recommend that he do it in the morning. But it won’t be quick.

SMITH: What do mean?

FRIDAY: Both the District Court judges are still operating on the legal theory advanced by Timbeland’s lawyer last year. They think that Internet harassment can’t trigger a peace order. I’ve got 5 bucks that says the Boss has to appeal to the Circuit Court.

MUSIC: Up and under.

NARRATOR: On July 17th, a petition for a peace order was filed in the District Court. The petition was denied, and the denial was appealed to the Circuit Court. A trial de novo was held in the Circuit Court on August 27th. In a moment the results of that trial.

MUSIC: Stinger.

ANNOUNCER: Once a matter reaches final judgment in a court case, the doctrine of res judicata means that future case should consider the matter closed. It should not be retried. There’s lots of nifty Hogewash! Res Judicata stuff available at The Hogewash Store. There are shirts and drinkware and other interesting items. Loyal members of Team Lickkspittle can show their support by shopping today. And did you know that there’s another way to show your support? Feel free to hit the Tip Jar.

NARRATOR: On August 27th, a trial was held on the peace order petition Circuit Court for Carrolly County. Based on the testimony presented, a peace order was issued against Willy Parvocampus.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: You have just heard Blognet, a series of authentic cases from official files. Technical advice comes from the office of the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Blognet is a work of fiction. Anyone who thinks it’s about him should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in on Monday evenings at 6 pm Eastern Time for the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous Internet investigator—Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

15 thoughts on “Blognet

  1. It is time, once again, to remind the world what Bill Schmalfeldt is about:

    ” If you morons would just forget #brettkimberlin even exists and go about your lives, you would be happier and no one would be investigating. ” — The Liberal Grouch (@LiberalGrouch) November 30, 2012

  2. People patiently and kindly tried to explain to Willy that he was completely wrong in his concept of copyright. It’s cringe-inducing, how he went out and humiliated himself out in front of God and everybody.

  3. really love how FailWhale Willy keeps harping on Hoge’s conditional agreement to drop the PO, while totally ignoring his own actions of harassment that forced Hoge to not drop it…

    really, is there no end to his narcissistic stupidity?


  4. supporters even questioning Bill:

    ‏@Harada_no_hime · 1m
    @ComedyVengeance Grady can take it but the kid so far as we know is an innocent bystander. Thank you.

    EPWJ ‏@mayberryville · 2m
    @Harada_no_hime @ComedyVengeance no he isn’t sad isn’t it..

    Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@ComedyVengeance · 2m
    @Harada_no_hime For your sake, Lady Harada. Not that Grady deserves it. But for your sake.

    Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@ComedyVengeance · 4m
    I’d be willing to bet he even gets more pussy than you, Patrick. I’d bet your wife is pretty well valiumed out and wouldnt touch you.

    Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@ComedyVengeance · 14m
    Your son wishes he had a man to respect, not a jellyfish nutcase coward with dreams of being a badass. Maybe I should ask him myself.

    ‏@Harada_no_hime · 4m
    @ComedyVengeance I know they’ve stooped to it so but don’t follow suit.You’re better than that. Leave the kids out of it, even the adults.

  5. ” By Monday Morning, I will have a brief requesting reopening of my counterclaim that will have Grady’s own MOTHER believing he is Krendler. ”

    Weren’t all aspects of this action dismissed with prejudice by agreement? What the heck is Schmalfeldt thinking? Oh wait, it’s Schmalfeldt.

    • It hasn’t been 30 days. The agreement had a 30 day window in which to change your mind and continue litigation. Of course it is a counter claim…so it needs the original claim our host filed to return as well…I think. IANAL. Seems to me that a suit has to be making a claim for there to be a counter claim.

  6. A few weeks ago, I thought this insanity had ended. Of course, the source of the insanity is in a trailer somewhere in north eastern Maryland so it was wrong to conclude the insanity had ended.

    I am so very sorry you have to endure more of this lunacy. I don’t mind if people self-destruct. It is their right. But to do so and inflict so much intentional distress on others is the part that bothers me.

    It is like some people can’t stop until they go down in flames.

    Can it possibly be that hard to recognize self-destructive behavior?

  7. It needs to end.

    If a criminal conviction and a lengthy vacation as a guest of the state is what is needed, so be it.

    The blob needs to be taught a very painful lesson and be held out as an example of what lawlessness brings.

    He started it, you should finish it.

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