In Re Animus Nocendi

Animus Nocendi is the name of the Cabin Boy™ latest cut-and-paste opus. I haven’t read it yet, but Amazon says that I should have a copy tomorrow. I may give it a review in a few days.

Speaking of reviews … The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™ is squawking about “false reviews” and warning that they are violations of law. The law he cites is 15 USC § 1125 which is part of the Lanham Act. It deals with trademark infringement, false labeling of country of origin, and false advertising. It will be interesting to see how far he gets trying to sue anyone over a bad review using that statute.

ACME LEGALI’m sure he is getting the very finest of advice from Acme Legal.

Meanwhile, the Gentle Reader may wish to stock up on popcornJujubesRaisinetsJunior MintsMilk Duds, or Red Twizzlers available via Amazon.

25 thoughts on “In Re Animus Nocendi


  1. A ticking time bomb does what a ticking time bomb’s gotta do. Welcome back from the honeymoon, Mr. Hoge.


  2. Annnd he is taking the battle to Amazon – note how he thinks its a crime to solicit negative reviews and but its okay to give out gratis for positive reviews

    Also ummm, where are his sockpuppets – I mean friends…


  3. Thinking my review just went live:

    Bill Schmalfeldt
    ‏@DystopianHijinx @DavidEdgren @mayberryville Die, troll.


  4. Hilarious levels of butthurt from being officially told to “Stop Being an Irritating Creep even if its only to this one guy!!”. Makes it look like he had a whole set of plans or fixations queued up in his head that now have to be scrapped cuz he was rock stupid and lazy..


  5. BTW – supposedly I am going to jail under the latest review of case law by “0-4-3” Bill of the SA office of the JTMP wing of suspended lawyers.

    Someone has to feed my catfish on my 5 acre lake


  6. Next CD project — Bill Schmalfeldt IS The Liberal Grouch. 12 cuts of older material.

    Paperback and CDs? I think I’ll wait for the LP and papyrus scroll.

    Here’s a title for your next “project” Bill, “The Adventures of Bill: Livin’ Large in the 90s”.


  7. Cousin Bill butthurts:

    “There are people who create, and there are people who mock. The creators leave a permanent mark on the word. The mockers leave a stain.”

    Admittedly , Cousin Bill knows a thing or three about stains (hint: granny panties), but, from what I’ve seen (and I’ve seen a lot of Bill), he’s no more creative than anyone else…bottom line, he’s a stainer!


  8. This is priceless! Bill has used his keen faildoxing skills to determine that I am the mysterious ‘LS’ who has been the outlaw scourge of his Amazon review pages!

    Want to know how he came to this conclusion?

    1) I tweeted today for the first time in a while. (I’ve been actively lurking, but I haven’t been feeling so hot lately, and getting my stepdaughter settled in as a dorm-resident college freshman has kept me pretty distracted, so I haven’t been very active.)

    2) fifteen to twenty years ago, in the Great Usenet Spam Wars, I wrote using the mom de guerre Lysander Spooner, and back when Bill first tried to dox me without success, i dearly wanted him to find my old writing, so I handed him this tidbit of info. See? _L_ysander _S_pooner? LS?

    You can see the flowfchart forming in his pin head, Did I once write using a name with the initials LS? Yes? Did I choose today to de-lurk? Yes? Proof positive that I am the LS who wrote the felonious reviews! Yes folks, this is the kind of rigorous analysis that has made Bill popular with random little old ladies and sheriff’s deputies across the land!

    Actually there is a flaw in his logic besides the obvious one. If I wanted to write a nasty review of his book, I’d do it in my own name. I have no employer to get me fired from. No bar association to get me disciplined by. And, despite pointing out my huge body of Usenet writings, revealing the university I attended and the company I retired from, he is unable to figure out where I live! It seems there are too many Rick Buchanans out there, and his flowcharting skills can’t decide which one is me. So I have no reason to hide my identity with initials. And if I did want to remain anonymous, does he really think I’m stupid enough to use initials that I know he is aware of?

    Bill’s record at doxxing remains unchanged – abysmal.

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