Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

CALLER: (Telephone Filter) Mr. Atsign, my name is Steve. I’m a fan of your show.

JOHNNY: Hello, Steve. What can I do you?

CALLER: (Telephone Filter) Well, you could check for a DM from me in your Twitter account.


CALLER: (Telephone Filter) Yes. I believe you’ll find the link it contains intriguing.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Short-Fused Dud Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) Hey, @Stevethefan, thanks. That does seem intriguing.

JOHNNY: An anti-First-Amendment activist called The Bomber had filed suit against a small group of bloggers in a Maryland state court. He claimed that they had conspired to stalk, harass, and defame him by writing truth things about his past and present activities. When that didn’t sufficiently intimidate them, The Bomber sued them along with almost 20 other bloggers and media organizations in a federal court, this time claiming that the larger group was a racketeering enterprise set up to harass and defame him.

Some of the bloggers he sued are anonymous. The Bomber didn’t know who he was really suing, and, therefore, he didn’t know who to serve with the various court papers.

He’s tried various methods of identifying those bloggers. In the case of the blogger known as Top Gun, he has been singularly unsuccessful. But that’s not from lack of trying.

SOUND: Typing on keyboard. Mouse clicks.

JOHNNY: My caller’s DM contained a link to the case number of The Bomber’s federal RICO suit, but with a twist. The suit had been filed in the District of Maryland, but the link led to the Eastern District of Virginia. Sure enough, the case was docketed there too.

SOUND: Typing on keyboard. Mouse clicks.

JOHNNY: Well, well, well … It seems that he’s gone fishing in a new pond. This is worth sharing.

SOUND: Telephone handset picked up. Number dialed. Phone ringing (Caller’s POV).

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Pro Bono.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign here, Counsellor. I’ve got something to show you online. Can you login to PACER?

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Actually, I’m logged in now. What’s up?

JOHNNY: I know you’re only handling the state case, but you want to take a look at The Bomber’s RICO suit.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) I do that from time to time. Has he filed something new?

JOHNNY: Yeah, but you need to look in the Eastern District of Virginia for it?

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Really? Let’s see … Yeah, there is something there … Uh, huh … He’s filed subpoena request to try to get information about Top Gun. That’s interesting, but Top Gun isn’t one of my clients.

JOHNNY: I know, but look at attachment 2.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Wow! I don’t believe that.

JOHNNY: Yeah. He’s screwed up big time. That receipt for the filing fee shows that it was paid by a check drawn on the account of the not-for-profit he works for.

ANNOUNCER: Here in Westminster, we’re having those pleasant summer evenings when it’s nice to sit on the porch and sip a cold drink while listening to crickets and watching the lightning bugs. I’ve been sipping mine from a Res Judicata travel mug. It’s just one of the goodies exclusively available for you to spend your hard-earned cash on at The Hogewash Store. Stop by today, and spend some cash to support Team Lickspittle. You can also show your support by hitting the Tip Jar.

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny, we finally got discovery from The Bomber.

JOHNNY: How incomplete is it?

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) It’s pretty spotty. He really doesn’t seem to understand the rules of evidence and what it takes to prove something in court. But I called you to let you know that he did give us an answer to that document request you suggested.

JOHNNY: Evasive, huh.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Uh, huh. The same sort of off-topic answer he gives when he’s pinned down in court. We asked him to provide copies of any payment records from his not-for-profits that covered any expenses in any lawsuit against one of my clients. He responded that there was no such payment in the state suit.

JOHNNY: Technically true—the payment was in the federal case—but still a lie by half-truth.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @TheBomber, quid est veritas?

MUSIC: Theme up and under

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next week? Who knows? We may be at the denouement. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in every Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for a episode of Blognet or Blogsmoke on alternating weeks. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

19 thoughts on “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

  1. The request was for “any expenses in any lawsuit” against any of the persons he is presently representing in the state case. So he withheld documents?

  2. I have to say I don’t believe him on the substance of his answer, either. I think he’s lying, or waiting to “bill” later.

  3. I’ll also note that Richard Milhous Schmalfeld remains quiet some hours after the phrase “Charged with statutory rape” was mentioned in court.

    He must be so proud of his “journalist’s privilege!”

    • Don’t let me down now, old boy! You’ve just GOT to support to man that has actually been charged with statutory rape, don’t you? Let’s see those PRINCIPLES!

      Of course, you knew about that charge, didn’t you?

      To do anything less is to admit that you’ve been cuckolded by the Crown Prince of Kaboom.

      • Also, doesn’t that fact that your master wants to drag his own daughter before the bar sort of undercut your narrative of just this morning, or will those tweets suddenly vanish?

        Oh, William, how we await your legal insight! Why do you forsake us, now that we beg for you?

    • I will note, as well, that Bunny Boy has completely ignored the happenings of today in their entirety. Yet another “upstanding” Team Kimberlin “journalist” shoves their fingers in their ears when facts prove to be inconvenient to their narrative.

      And, the rest of ’em have pretty much taken their rabid behavior of this morning down to a dull roar. Well… except to claim the sawed-off, domestic terrorist Brett Kimberlin’s wife is going to be the DOWNFALL!!1!!1! ELEVENTY!!1!!1! of Team Free Speech when she takes the stand.

      It appears the “statutory rape” business went right over their little, pointy-horned heads.

      The stupid… it burns.

      • Ah, Osborne. Formerly known as Xenophon, father of a daughter, who wrote this at BU on August 29, 2013:

        “Stranahan recently learned that Craig Gillette, an employee of the very-real JTMP, received a two-year federal sentence in 1999 for possession of a half-dozen images of nude females who appeared underage. They were on his computer in a cache of pornographic images and they were discovered when the drug flop where he lived got raided. Those pictures might just as well have been Stranahan’s own photography with childlike models, but in fact they were less disturbing than Stranahan’s “art.” Nevertheless, writer Stranahan has been making much of Gillette on Twitter, feeding Walker’s propaganda about Brett Kimberlin supposedly doing nefarious things to his own family.”

        I posted this last year, IIRC. Please note that I have a close friend whose job it was to investigate such images to ensure that the models in them are indeed underage. In court, prosecutors have to prove that these were kids. Osborne is whitewashing Gillette’s conviction for possession of CHILD PORNOGRAPHY by suggesting they were not minors, and by stating that Stranahan’s erotic photography using ADULTS was somehow worse. Also note that he is comparing the images – does this mean he actually saw them (!!! Uh oh!!!), or that his reporting is pure speculation and propaganda?

      • We should remember that there is no reason to believe that any of the details Matt Osborne gave above have anything to with actual facts in the Craig Gillette case.

        One merely need ask Matt Osborne one simple question:

        Did you see the [allegedly] six photos in question?

        Nor, does Matt Osborne’s claim make any sense. A jury of Gillette’s peers determined unanimously that it was beyond a reasonable doubt that Craig Gillette had possessed child pornography. To make that determination they would have had to have concluded that the girls in the pictures were under eighteen beyond a reasonable doubt.

  4. I note that the official Democrat Ways and Means Committee twitter feed is following the TDPK. Nice optics, following a convicted bomber, perjurer, drug dealer, etc.

  5. Boy. This doesn’t look good.

    After today’s proceedings, one has to wonder if there are any other litigants out there rethinking their strategies…

    …perhaps while curled under his computer table in a fetal ball, scooping fingers full of mayonnaise down his gob.

  6. I believe I’ve mentioned this before, A Reader #1, but in case I haven’t…

    Awhile back I found myself in a Twitter conversation with Bunny Boy concerning Craig Gillette and his Child Pornography conviction. Bunny Boy worked tirelessly to excuse the vileness of Gillette’s actions due to the fact there were ONLY half-a-dozen images. *smh*

    It was beyond creepy the way Osborne endeavored to justify a crime against children.

    The fact this creature is the Father to a young daughter increases the creepy factor exponentially.

Leave a Reply