Translation Service

wmsbroadcasting201407111041ZIt’s just like the narrative in Daniel 5. A low-grade tyrant calls for a learned man to help him when he’s perplexed. I’ve got my Aramaic dictionary handy, so I can translate what it’s tellingΒ him.


MENE: Your works have been measured and are coming to an end.

TEKEL: You have been weighed in the balances and found overweight.

UPHARSIN: What’s left of your audience will be divided between Nigerian and North Korean spam bots.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Belshazzar's FeastUPDATEβ€”William Walton wrote a musical retelling of the original story. A recording of his work is available from Amazon.

114 thoughts on “Translation Service

  1. I used the Aramaic to Schmalfeldtian dictionary and got:
    MENE: Your works are awesome
    TEKEL: You are handsome and desired by all
    UPHARSIN: Hoge and lickspittles are always wrong
    No wonder Bill is deluded, he uses the wrong translation guide …

  2. You have not truly enjoyed Bagdad Blob until you have read him in the original Klingon…

    veH tIn!!

  3. The Schmalfeldt Theorem:
    Serial adjudicated harasser + incomplete understanding of the law + false “facts” + preliminary injunction rendered on a matter not central to the case + mischaracterization of a brief blog entry by lawyer who admitted in the same blog entry that he’d breifly scanned a decision + ???? + Victory = Wishful Thinking?

  4. Interesting that the comment count of a national lawyer blog seems to have dropped several hundred percent – was it the Kerr’se of dearth of values?

    Internet Certified Adjudicated Serial Harasser with pedophilia terrorist bombing worship tendencies surprisingly endorsed by “prominent?” “UCLA” law professor who didn’t read the case



  5. “Drew” your own conclusions – hey the freedom of speech has consequences – unless its on the net then – well, anything goes – oh unless maybe you mention a four letter word “UCLA”

    • Last time I checked:
      Aaron: college degree? CHECK!
      Aaron: J.D. ? CHECK!
      Aaron: Yale Law School? CHECK!

      BS: college degree? NOPE
      BS: JD? NOPE

      Michael Malone’s prediction of deforestation, rising sea levels, etc., due to need for Brazilian ipecac and subsequent deforestation? ON TRACK!

      • Bill seems to be having a hard time grasping that you get into Yale law because you are smart. That is a surprising lack of intelligence showing from someone that was an Honor grad from the Wednesday School of Journalism and Bus Pass Office

  6. Trying to disparage Eugene Volokh is a losing proposition. He’s quite accomplished and widely regarded as a leader in the use of law as a tool for freedom and liberty rather than simply a professional trade. (Think Libertarianism.) Volokh’s straight-thinking presentation of law is one of the social mechanisms that can carry us past the tyranny of rulers like Obama, Reid and Pelosi. We should all be happy that he’s at the UCLA law school shaping the minds of future California lawyers.

    In regard to Hoge’s efforts to fend off copyright violations by Bill Schmalfeldt: Have faith and persevere. Lots of time between now and November. Multiple options will develop.

    • I agree whole-heartedly. Volokh is a great libertarian and friend of the first amendment. Calling him a poopy head for not following the company line looks petty, at best. He’s writing in his capacity as a blogger, and reported on the outcome of a legal matter that involves people in the news (in this case, Kimberlin). He’s done nothing wrong here.

      This matter has a long a winding road to follow before it is resolved (remember Kimberlin’s recent efforts?) Let things work themselves out, let the REAL evidence be heard, and maybe Eugene writes another post about all this.


      • I’m sure the Drew family is encouraged to hear it –

        If The UCLA law professor felt a strong need to comment on a case without reading about the people involved or reading the case – then he open’s the door for criticism and public censure

        Its funny the suit by Kimberlin and now the dropped suit and then subsequent countersuit by the Certified Adjudicated Serial Harasser is about misuse or denying people the first amendment rights to comment.

        Now we have some people coming on here saying hey, don’t comment on someone commenting on a case because well – its commenting…

        Volokh’s reputation was one that was thorough and balanced – was his post that?

        If he feels so strongly then he should have signed BS as a pro bono client.

        Note the total lack of comments on his posts – geez I couldn’t get through all the comments on his posts they were like aces just pages and pages and pages

        Now Crickets….????

  7. Charles and Perry

    Not criticizing but I would research some people more carefully before commenting about them. There are more to people than the front page we see, its confusing but its how we have turned true conservatives into rinos and so forth and so on.

    Read in depth about Volokh and then come and tell us how conservative he really is – libertarians are liberals BTW – they believe only in the worship of one’s self at the expense of everyone else – that’s why it seems good on the surface but has never ever worked – ask the greatest nation on the earth Austria how that worked out for them.

    Eugene has done many worthy things – and guess what so did a guy named Bill Schmalfeldt – when I was in the DA’s office I had a string of worthy honorable 99% lived a clean great life and then – the 1% happened..

    Bill didn’t need to threaten harass, smear people, Eugene didn’t need to endorse his behavior without giving at least the courtesy of reading the suffering of his victims.

    Its amazing how some people forget basic humanity on the net, or the base law that should govern us all???

    • He didn’t endorse anything. He said the judge’s opinion appeared to be correct. Move on, EPWJ. Chill.

      • Exactly right. Someone seems to be making a mountain out of a peppercorn. The only reason that makes any sense at all is if you were trying to get Blob to dance like a…..


        Carry on, EPWJ. God’s work you’re doing here.

  8. Also great friends of the first amendment don’t endorse dead baby doxing, harassing a poor child to death by an adult or pass judgment on someone who is out to harm as many people as he can in the time he has left to do it.

    You fight for what is right – you fight for the person next to you – you fight for the weak – you fight for the oppressed –

    Not for the oppressors..

    The first amendment was about freedom not tyranny, something many mistake including most lawyers

    • Volokh hasn’t endorsed anyone or anything. He offered a drive-by comment on the opinion filed by Judge Hollander in denying the preliminary injunction. That’s all. Seriously, and with all due respect, chill out.

    • Volokh didn’t do any of the above – EPWJ, you’re just a wee bit over-the-top here. Could you settle down a little?

    • The BREAKING NEWS is that Bill was so in love with his own ranting that he forgot to actually verify what he was talking about for over a week.

      I actually believe that the reason no lawyer will represent the Elkridge Cowboy is that they want nothing to do with a client determined to try his case on Twitter.

      And if you think John or Stranahan are his most aggrieved victims, guess again.

      Imagine being poor Gail for a day! Everybody else can at least walk away from the computer.

      • And I’m sure Ms. Brawner loves having her name and contact number associated with a well-known lunatic online. She probably dreamed of being intertwined with a neckless psychopath as a little girl.

  9. Once upon a time the Rolling Stones had a really big it with a song called Miss You. Having decided that having really big hits was preferable to the alternative, the released what was basically the same song, except they called it Emotional Rescue.

    Bill’s latest unhinged victory lap is the Emotional Rescue to his “My appeal of the Peace Order can’t possibly lose, and Hoge will go to jail. Victory is MINE!” Miss You.

    And he still won’t get no satisfaction.

    • Given recent history, I’d say the manic phase passes by Tuesday or Wednesday, at which point the pathetic whimpering about his health and how all of his friends abandoned him begins anew. This will probably be followed by a mass memory holing of the last six weeks.

    • I basically hear, “blah, blah, blah, eight by ten glossy photos, blah, blah, blah” almost every time he posts stuff any more. It is the same broken record. I am surprised that Jerry = 30 fail doxes = Howard Earl hasn’t lost his mind yet.

  10. I kind of have to wonder why he wants all the NASA pictures off this blog. I’ll bet he wants it to appear as the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!!!! is more obsessed with him than Bill is with HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!!!!

    I mean, even the most cursory analysis of his writing over that past two years would show that he only writes or tweets about HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!!!! 99.999863792% of the time. Who in their right mind could call that obsessive?

    Oh. Right. Everyone. Everyone in their right mind could reach that conclusion.

    But not Bill.


  11. Of course, whenever somebody tries convicting Bill of something, we see a lot more of his walker and hear about how everybody is trying to kill him. Say that in public, and he responds that you’re minimizing his Parkinsons and that the legion of lawyers in his head will get you … just as soon as he figures out which grandma in Oregon you actually are!

    It would be admirably cynical if he were actually bright enough to be cynical.

  12. I have to admire the level of focus this blog manages to keep Bill on. That’s good. It allows all the other things he should be focused on to continue unhindered by his actions.

    • Okay Bill; put something on Twitter that wasn’t thoroughly evicerated at Running Wolf. We’ll bring it here and rip it to shreds. More traffic for Hoge, less mess for Michael. BTW Michael is living proof that you are untrustworthy. Remember he came here in your defense; only to learn the truth.

      The best way to discredit Bill Schm… oh nevermind.

      • Billy forgets sometimes that there are written records of stuff, and not everybody memory-holes the past with the frequency of Dementia Lad.

        There is a certain charm to watching retards trying outwit adults, though. I’ll grant him that.

        But no one EVER tried being fair to the Elrkridge Cowboy quite like Michael did, and this is what the response is when the guest shits on the carpet.

        Duly noted.

    • I suspect the comments he claim are missing but aren’t are either a figment of his imagination, or whatever device he is viewing on can’t deal with the embedding levels. I know on my iPhone, several of his long law citations appear blank.

      Of course, Bill has no experience dealing with a blog that gets comments, so it’s easy to see his confusion.

    • OH, Bill would never lie. That’s why he has no defenders and zero replies on his blog or Twitter. He’s almost as truthful as the POTUS.

  13. To some it’s a game but Bill listed his demands – they are ruinous to Hoge

    Hat tip – Eugene..

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