The Dread Pirate’s Dictionary


A reader has suggested that I provide a dictionary of terms used in The Saga of the Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin. That strikes me as a useful idea, so here begins an intermittent feature aimed at explaining terms to newbies.

TDPKTDPK is an abbreviation originally for The Dread Pirate Kimberlin. That name came into use when Brett Kimberlin put up a pirate-themed Bloggers Offense Fund website in a lame attempt to parody the Bloggers Defense Fund site that was raising support for Aaron Walker. Since Kimberlin has begun suing folks, it also stands for The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin. Kimberlin is representing himself in the lawsuits. The legal Latin for self-represented status is pro se. Note: During the brief period when Kimberlin had an unconstitutional gag order in place against Aaron Walker, he was referred to as Lord Voldemort (“He who must not be named under penalty of court order”).

Team Kimberlin is the loose association of cyberthugs who are engaged in the support of TDPK and his interests online. Note: During the interval when Kimberlin was referred to as Lord Voldemort, his associates were called “Death Eater Wannabes.”

CBBS is an abbreviation for Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt. The Cabin Boy™ is the noisiest and possibly the most noisome member of Team Kimberlin. In the past, he served as the Team’s PR flack. He is noted for his use of threats, online harassment, and faildoxing when engaging in his own special brand of inept “journalism.” Recently, he made an abortive attempt to get into lawfare like TDPK, earning himself the additional designation as TDPS, The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™.

Lawfare is the use of meritless civil lawsuits filed on the cheap by a pro se litigant to inflict the cost of defending the suits on the victims/defendants.

Watch this space for more entries in The Dread Pirate’s Dictionary.

team_kimberlin_briefUPDATE—Acme Law is the presumed legal brain trust behind Team Kimberlin’s lawfare efforts and the source of Team Kimberlin’s legal briefs. It is reputed to be the legal department of the famous Acme Company that supplies Wile E. Coyote.

29 thoughts on “The Dread Pirate’s Dictionary

    • Interesting BS “never been a flack” declaration, from Feb. 7:

      “Now, I will report aggressively on Brett Kimberlin’s lawsuit against Hoge and his co-defendants. But I will not be unbiased. I have news that I am sitting on until early next week. It is not good news for Hoge and his co-defendants. (I’ll tell you this much. I won’t say if it’s the state case, the RICO case, or both. Some will save themselves at the expense of others. This is not speculation.)
      And I can’t fucking WAIT until I can write about it without risking the outcome.

      And for every dollar Kimberlin takes from Hoge, for every piece of property Kimberlin takes from Hoge, for every bit of suffering Kimberlin causes Hoge, I will smile. I will laugh. God forgive me, I want the man to suffer. And according to this story I am sitting on, suffer he will.

      Remember where you read it.

      Suffer, he will. It won’t match what he’s done to me. But it will be a small measure of satisfaction to have lived long enough to see Karma bite him on his pockmarked, pimply ass.”

    • If Bill wasn’t mendacious, there would be much less of him. He wrote this earlier (unironically, I assume):

      WMS Radio Network @wmsradionetwork · Jun 14

      @WhoIsNumberNone @mrvogon Remember when folks placed a premium on just acting like decent human beings?

      I just talked to the guy who runs the Examiner Bill, he says he remembers it as the day before you signed up and started posting your crap on his website (no, you were not “hired”, or “fired” from there. It’s a blog that pays “good” and productive writers). And you were dumped from there long before anyone around here had much to do with you.

    • Where’s the quote about him engaging in harassment specifically to get people to stop talking about Kimberlin?

  1. Aw, man. I was hoping this would be more like Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary. Just, you know, TDPK instead of the Devil.

  2. This post and comments along with the Team Themis post has made me think of the Evil League of Evil. (Yes, my mind runs off on strange tangents. I often have no idea why I ended up someplace.)

    Except that The Evil League of Evil is actually somewhat competent and the Bad Horse’s Chorus is pretty decent.

  3. It is important to use the correct dictionary. Allow Mr. Lincoln to explain in discussing a gradual emancipation measure in Maryland:

    “The world has never had a good definition of the word liberty, and the American people, just now, are much in want of one. We all declare for liberty; but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing. With some the word liberty may mean for each man to do as he pleases with himself, and the product of his labor; while with others the same word may mean for some men to do as they please with other men, and the product of other men’s labor. Here are two, not only different, but incompatable things, called by the same name—liberty. And it follows that each of the things is, by the respective parties, called by two different and incompatable names—liberty and tyranny.

    “The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep’s throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as a liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty, especially as the sheep was a black one. Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed upon a definition of the word liberty; and precisely the same difference prevails to—day among us human creatures, even in the North, and all professing to love liberty. Hence we behold the processes by which thousands are daily passing from under the yoke of bondage, hailed by some as the advance of liberty, and bewailed by others as the destruction of all liberty. Recently, as it seems, the people of Maryland have been doing something to define liberty; and thanks to them that, in what they have done, the wolf’s dictionary, has been repudiated.”

    Always use the dictionary of the shepherd.

  4. Hm, I was hoping this would be along the lines of
    Harassment (n) Discussing, seeing or hearing Brett Kimberlin.
    Forgery (n) Any evidence that proves Brett Kimberlin is guilty.
    Sure Case (n) Any case logged by, Brett Kimberlin.

  5. I actually do have a funny story to share here in the hypocrisy department(I know shocking right?) with these DMCA’s take down notices, copyrights and CBBS. It dates back to late 2011. When I get some time today or tomorrow. I will share it.

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