#BillSchmalfeldt Says, “Only Kidding!”

His letter asking to withdraw his lawsuit has been posted on PACER.

Like a madman who shoots torches, arrows, and death,
is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “Am I not joking?”

—Proverbs 26:18, 19

UPDATE—The Cabin Boy™ seems to have his panties in a knot because I have described his account of filing/non-filing his lawsuit as a lie. This is not to say that there’s not a grain of truth in his story, but some of the “facts” strain credulity. He wants us to believe that it took six days for the USPS to get his letter a few miles from a Baltimore suburb to downtown Baltimore. Yeah, OK, we’re talking about the Post Office, but crosstown mail delivery is usually faster than that.

The notation at the bottom of the letter says that it was sent via Certified Mail. If the tracking number were published, the date of mailing could be seen on the USPS website, and the Cabin Boy’s™ tale could be verified.

72 thoughts on “#BillSchmalfeldt Says, “Only Kidding!”

    • Here is a new “Daffynition” for you regarding the Cabin Boy… Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

  1. Well what do you know. The Cabin Boy™ told the truth when he said he was not going to sue anyone. He said he sent a letter the next day after seeing his doctor and by golly here it is. As a result I think our host should probably remove or at least update yesterdays post,

      • The gist of the “final” comment was that he sent in a letter dropping the suit…so the quoted section,IMO,was not a lie.

        There are plenty of other lies and half-truths that can be used!

  2. Did you know that Twitter, Facebook & other social media platforms & self-publishing sites are OBLIGATED by the First Amendment to provide an outlet to people like Todd Kincannon?

    Well, not according to the Cabin Boy’s latest Liberaland entry (no linky love). But of course, they ARE obligated to provide the Cabin Boy with an outlet to spew his stupidity. If they weren’t obligated, how then could we First Amendment loving, God fearing tolerant RWNJs endeavor to deny him those rights, which don’t exist for Todd Kincannon but do for the Cabin Boy?

    My twisted twist on Bill’s thoughts here:

  3. So why isn’t the Cabin Boy worried about dying when he is doxing innocent people and trying to get them fired? Why isn’t he worried about dying when he is attacking someones family? Oh right, when HE is attacking he is in his sweaty palmed happy place. When people respond, then he is dying. What a wuss.

    • It runs in the “family.” Notice that Hoge, Walker et al are causing real hurt to BK, for which they should pay real money. You know what hurts? Getting your leg blown off. Having your spouse suffer until he kills himself. That’s hurt.

  4. Oh, now the “poor me” phase of the evening.

    BS reminds me, in part, of my kid brother — when he was five. At the time, he lied about virtually everything, even irrelevant stuff. Consequently, none of us believed a word that came out of the little miscreant’s mouth. Nevertheless, a broken clock is right twice a day, and on those rare occasions when he was called a liar but was actually telling the truth, boy, oh boy, would he milk that for all it was worth. His mighty honor had been offended.


    BS has repeatedly called people liars without proof, often in an obscene fashion. When those he accused denied the accusations, he ignored them and continued to call them liars them via Twitter or his blog. Some examples of his erroneous accusations, for which he has yet to apologize: Hoge lied about receiving a witness impact statement; McCain lied about moving from Maryland; McCain is a drunk; Mrs. walker is a mail order bride; Ali lied about not living in Virginia; Nancy Gilly’s rank in a local election . . . I could go on, ad nauseum.

    His “olive branch” email at blubbersuesbloggers.com is full of insults, self pity, and the type of manipulative behavior my brother used to display. My brother a outgrew this at age 7. BS is 59.

  5. Destroy the filings, sir? Why these have provided us much entertainment! We’d sooner destroy the works of Shakespeare, O.Henry, or Jerry Lewis.

  6. Look, Hoge, why must you be so unreasonable? Schmalfeldt dropped his suit, so you should drop yours, too. It’s the only polite and Christian thing to do, after all.

    (Better put on the /sarc tag before someone thinks I’m serious, and not just trying to predict Blobbo’s line of alleged reasoning…)

  7. Well, unlike Shaky, I’m a big enough man to admit when I’m wrong. I said he was lying, but it looks like old Tubby was telling the truth. However, if people are this impressed simply because you were honest about a situation, I’d say some serious soul searching and self reflection should be taking place.

  8. I think the bitterness and anger being stoked on both sides would diminish if we refrain from personal insults against Schmalfeldt. Don’t call him “Cabin Boy” (whatever that means), “Shaky,” “Senor Neck Roll” or “Blob.” These are very insulting and add nothing but vinegar to the mix. Call him Bill or Bill Schmalfeldt or simply Schmalfeldt.

    • How about we call him “felon”? He likes that one.
      How about we call him “DIAF”? I’ll bet that stands for “Don’t I Always Friendship”.
      Maybe “T.W.A.T.” for “Thursday was after Tuesday”, his meltdown schedule.

    • Stogie,

      I have no reason to question the nobility and sincerity of your suggestion, as someone who has been actively engaged for several months and aware of much (but by no means all) of his past activities, he has earned no benefit of any doubt from me. His behavior must undergo a sustained change before I’ll be convinced to change mine.

    • Personally, I try to stick to calling him “Bill Schmalfeldt.” I agree that we should all try to call him “Bill Schmalfeldt.” However, if we were to follow your suggestion that we not insult the man we would have to resort to constructions such as, “our opponent,” “the subject of the current conversation,” or “that certain blogger in Elkridge.” The name “Bill Schmalfeldt” has gained a level of infamy similar to that of Benedict Arnold, Quisling, or Deb Frisch. The cumulative effect of years of stockerish behavior on Bill Schmalfeldt’s part has so damaged his reputation that the perjuring, drug-dealing, terrorist, bomber Brett Kimberlin whose authorized biography inferred that he was a pedophile who had murdered the protective grandmother of his tween love interest doesn’t want to be associated with him.

    • The nickname “Cabin Boy” was coined for Bill Schmalfeldt back in September, 2012, when Brett Kimberlin put up a pirate-themed fundraising website called Bloggers Offense Fund in an apparent attempt to parody the Bloggers Defense Fund site raising support for Aaron Walker. I began referring to Kimberlin as “The Dread Pirate Kimberlin” (now “The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin”). Other members of Team Kimberlin have received other crew titles. Bill Schmalfeldt was called “Cabin Boy” by a commenter, and the nickname stuck.

      Schmalfeldt has now embraced the nickname, intermittently calling his Internet radio station Cabin Boy Radio. In fact, during our mediation session in January, he told me that he no longer objected to being called “Cabin Boy.” The term has now evolved to Cabin Boy™.

    • It’s called “backsplash”, Stogie.

      I’m sure you’re sincere, but “Marquis of Queensbury” rules don’t apply when your opponents are “by any means necessary” non-gentlemen.

      Professor Hoge has taken the high road many times. It has not gentled the behavior of his opponents, not once.

  9. Bill Schmalfeldt doesn’t seem to understand that the lawsuit was filed, and, as a result he owes the court $400 if his pauper status is denied, and, $350 if it is approved. At this point, if wishes to end the suit he file a MTD, and, pay another fee.

    • The Court has deemed Schmalfeldt’s letter a motion for voluntary dismissal and has granted it.

      Upon review of self-represented plaintiff William M. Schmalfeldt’s correspondence stating his intention to withdraw this lawsuit, it is this 29th day of May, 2014, by the United States District Court for the District of Maryland, hereby ORDERED:

      1. The Motion to Proceed in Forma Pauperis (ECF No. 2) IS DISMISSED as moot;

      2. Plaintiff’s correspondence, treated as a Motion to Voluntarily Dismiss, IS GRANTED;

      3. The case IS DISMISSED without prejudice;

      4. The Clerk SHALL CLOSE this case; and

      5. The Clerk SHALL SEND a copy of this order to plaintiff.


  10. I would suggest that one of defendants file a motion ASAP.

    The first relief that I would ask is that the original lawsuit be sealed because it includes defamatory content. And, that based on Bill Schmalfeldt’s pattern of behavior it is reasonable to expect him to attempt to publish for profit the content the lawsuit though it contains copyrighted material he has refused to pull even after a DMCA takedown notice. The harm caused by failing to grant this motion quickly would be irreparable.

    The second is that the lawsuit be dismissed with prejudice.

    The third is that Bill Schmalfeldt be sanctioned for filing the lawsuit for the improper purpose of harassing John Hoge, “doxing” other defendants, and defaming all the defendants.

    The fourth is that he be enjoined from suing any of the parties without proper approval. Again, refer to “doxing.”

    The fifth is all costs in filing this motion payable to the court.

  11. Mr. Hoge: Is there an unredacted copy of CB’s suit out there somewhere besides Pacer? I’d like double check to see if he got “my” address right.

  12. OMG!!

    As some people know I am a bit if a video game junkie. The latest game I am playing is called,”Watchdogs.” In it you play a hacker. You hack using your phone, which identifies people around you and offers a little bit of information about them.

    I just saw a Will Schmalfeldt and the information given about him was Social Media Stalker! I tried to catch him so I could get a screenshot, but he got on the L-Train before I could.

    Makes me wonder if one of the developers follows this blog or TheOtherMcCain. I thought the names and info generated was random, but that was just Too Close for me to chalk it up as coincidence. I mean what are the odds?


      • That’d be a neat trick, since I don’t think I have ever used the PS4 to cruise the web. Spooky to think that it goes that deep into my home network. I’ll certainly be looking a lot more closely at who it says I am hacking to see if I see any other real names.

      • Is there some sort of forum where you can talk to other gamers about this, and find out if they got the same name?

      • Sure there are other forums dedicated just for games, and Watchdogs in particular, but I don’t think many will be paying that much attention to names, aside from looking for “Easter eggs” of famous people. Only thing I can do is ask people to keep an eye out for it, I suppose.

    • I just started the game yesterday, where should I look for it? (It’s seems open-ended, it might be hard to tell)

      • I saw by the mission at Willis Towers, when you are looking for Helena Tucci.

        Names seem to be random pretty much though, so I’m not sure if he’ll be a constant or not.

  13. Also interesting is that the letter is originally marked with the case number from the RICO case but that has been crossed through. The RICO case is in a different division.


  14. People want to apologize to BS because he wasn’t lying that he filed a lawsuit?

    F*ck Bill Schmalfeldt.

    When he starts apologizing about the lies he has spread then maybe.

    Otherwise, he should forget that #wjjhoge exists and go about his life, he would be happier, and no one would be investigating.

    • Yes! This ^^^^^ is exactly right, Earl.

      And yes, A Reader, questions remain. When one spends years thoroughly trashing their own credibility by insisting on the most ridiculous, most transparent, most easily proven lies; when one lies about things large and small, even when the truth would serve them better; when one — well, to sum up, when one is SchmalFOOL — they can’t expect to be seen as anything other than the liar they’ve constantly proven themselves to be.

      That SchmalFAIL feels he is due an apology over this matter is just further evidence of his unwarranted arrogance, unmitigated gall, and unchecked dementia.

      While questions remain about the timing of the mail service in MD, there is no question whatsoever that SchmalTROLL, like all other trolls, is not entitled to the courtesies nor the respect afforded to decent people. There is no journaTROLL exception.

  15. Over at blubbersuesbloggers, Flynn should have realized by now that BS never admits fault, cannot disengage and walk away, and has “last word syndrome.” What is it now, thirty comments by BS since he said his last goodbye several days ago?

      • I wrote this over at Flynn’s blog, and it says pretty much what you are saying (except using a lot more words):

        Bill, any hope for sympathy is long gone (at least as far as I’m concerned). You have been telling us for months, if not a year, that this is “killing you”. Yet every time you say that, and say goodbye, you’re back in a few days. If you were TRULY concerned about your health, you would have walked away long ago. But there you are, filing groundless suits and whining about your treatment on yet another blog.

        You. need. attention.

        This isn’t killing you, it’s your only reason for living.

        Question for the group. When did you first read the rantings of Bill Schmalfeldt?

        I remember reading his comments as “Liberal Grouch”, but for the life of me I can’t recall where or how long ago. But it seems like ages ago.

      • I don’t remember my initial exposure, but it’s been a while. I think I really tuned in during the peace order stuff over a year ago, because I was a regular reader of WJJH’s blog. I was flabbergasted at BS’s behavior, and in my ignorance, thought that something major must have happened to explain his vulgarity. Apparently, the “something major” was WJJH helping Stranahan. I did some research and was revolted by his behavior towards the Stranahans.

      • Like Kyle Reese told us:
        “It’s what he does. It’s all he does. And he absolutely will not stop until you are dead!”
        Dun Dun Dun duhDUN
        Dun Dun Dun duhDUN

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