… is to quote Bill Schmalfeldt. Here’s the opening of a post he published at Partriot-Ombudsman last November.
My case was so doomed that ten days later the peace order issued against The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™ was extended for six months. TDPS’s closing words of that post better describe him than anyone else.
UPDATE—TDPS’s Internet escapades are better documented than he may realize. Those two screen clips above are derived from the actual html code that was posted on his website last year.
I suspect that he will be quite surprised to find out the information he left embedded in that code.
UPDATE 2—Running and hiding isn’t going to be any more successful than TDPS’s fundraising. Backups are kept current. Here’s the beginning of this morning’s index page.
Reblogged this on Dead Citizen's Rights Society.
Paul, I thought you retired from blogging. I am glad to see you are still active!
My health has improved following advanced and risky involvement in a medical trial at USF Medical School/Moffett Cancer Center. So much so that I have just started back up, last week on Dead Citizen’s and this week on Dead Republican Party. Not much in output but I hope the posts are thoughtful.
Thanks for the welcome back!
Huzzah!
HOOOOOOOOGE!
A DECLARATION OF WEIRD http://t.co/Za0uXaZoHw
Is this a safe link to visit? Not CB’s site I hope.
Another Krendler parody. Use the bathroom, first.
No it’s mine, sorry. Should have noted.
Thanks for the bathroom warning Reader. Good job Paul.
Dude, if you keep this up, I may have to invest in some Depends, myself.
They do come in handy sometimes …
Again, masterful, Paul.
A Must Read for all Lickspittles!
Just think of the upward trajectory his “writing” career could have taken had he just asked for your mentoring.
1. Outline
2. First Draft
3. Edit/Revise First Draft
4. Second Draft
5. Edit/Revise Second Draft
6. Polish (as in clean up, not the sausage) Final Draft
7. Publish
It’s really not that hard. But that’s a whole other problem for some people. (rimshot)
Slow clap, then fast clap then suddenly I’m blinded by the beauty of it all.
Crap, did I say that out loud? That was good Paul, was what I meant to say.
I am Church_on_F1 😈
HUBRIS!
FAN FICTION!!
LICKSPITTLES!!!
DICK DENTS!!!
Hold the mayo!
Will someone who speaks computer geek please translate the update for me? I speak other types of geek, just not that one. I hope it also goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, that any translation does not handicap Mr. H. in any way.
Our host is just showing CB that there was more info revealed in the actual html code than CB probably wanted out. Of course Hoge is not showing what info that is.
OK, thanks (scurries off to look up “HTML code.”)
What’s more, Cousin Bill has been leaking all that info for months, nay, years!
#OpSecFAIL
And Lickspittle Intelligence has been automatically scraping, archiving, and analyzing that information.
Bill would be appalled at what he has let slip…
The data actually stored online for a webpage is in the form of html code that the user’s browser uses to draw the page on the his computer’s screen. All sorts of interesting information about the creation of a webpage can wind up embedded in that code. Much of TDPS’s™ web droppings are backed up not only with screen shots but also with downloads of the html code for the webpages.
So, a reader of a blog page can obtain that information?
If you are reading it, you’ve already pulled it down.
One of the first rules of cyber-forensics:
Screencap AND source capture.
Sure. Right click anywhere on web page, select “View page source” and voilà!
Thanks, gentlemen.
How long before the moron adds “theft” to his list of bogus charges now? You read my website and stole my code!!!
*snort*
If viewing page source is “theft”, something like 90% of the web is built on theft.
Ho-hoge!
What a doofus is our Cousin Bill…
Lesson to walk away with:
Never use a tool you don’t understand.
Also never try to sue one person under a different person’s name, if you think they are the same you kinda need to PROVE it, not just expect your word to be taken as proof (especially when your veracity has been called into question many times)
O.o
You mean, when I see a song authored by Lennon/McCartney, the author isn’t Mr. Lennon McCartney????
What is the exactly right word to describe a lawsuit that claims what you want to be true rather than what is true? “wishigation” as in “He is a wishitigous person who is constantly committing vexatious wishigation”.
I like it, but it doesn’t roll of the tongue…
Off
I think assclown is easier to pronounce and more easily understood.
it’s also called Frivolous and the courts tend to take a dim view of such filings…
this could conceivably wind up costing him way more than he thinks, or can pay…
O.o
Now DIM, he understands..
Dismissed for Failure To State A Claim.
He has, with CERTAINTY!!!!11!!!, determined that two IP addresses, one from Henderson NV and one from Virgina are indeed used by Howard/Chris/Paul/Ringo.
You can’t make this up. No proof, nothing to back up his claims, just because he says so.
I can truthfully say that I have NEVER emailed the SPAZ.
I DO NOT visit his BLEH..I mean BLOG. EVER.
Even with my shot records up to date, I know better than to view his filth.
That dog won’t hunt, Jiggles. Take your emails FROM SOMEONE ELSE and jam ’em up yer chute, boy.
100% proven!!!!!1!!!!11!!!
Can he haz flowchartz?
Only the Heavy Flow Chart.
I think Heavy Flo wants a word with you, Simple Bill…
Might this have something to do with the name / identity of the author and previous claims about when a certain individual claimed to have stopped using said name on certain websites? I am out on a limb here, I have looked at the code very, very closely, but I am not sure I have been following this story long enough to know what is happening here.
Nope. That’s not it. I was thinking back to when Mr. Schmalfeldt claimed he no longer used the liberal grouch email address… I am completely in the dark here…
I almost half wonder if there is nothing particularly damaging in there and this is purely for the purpose of causing Mr. Schmalfeldt to, predictably, freak out over nothing and then start tearing through code trying to find something that isn’t there before giving up and doing something drastic. I hear he tore down his website over this, no? I mean what better way to cause Mr. Schmalfeldt to take down his own webpage than by cryptically suggesting and implanting the idea that hidden in the code is something damaging to him, then getting out the jiffy pop and enjoying the fireworks. I can almost picture him now, cowering in fear with a tin-foil hat, uttering obsessively to himself about how the code is conspiring with the lickspittles and Hoge against him and then howling wildly at the moon. I can picture all of this happening while Mr. Hoge smiles to himself saying, “everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.” I mean maybe there is something there and I just don’t see it, but I kinda like this hypothesis better.
Of course, whatever is or isn’t in the code won’t be discussed publicly. Why would we tip him off and miss the show?
Think IP address for pingback (which in the code snippet as been replaced by x’s) and other bits of minutiae.
Didn’t want anyone to think I was off hiding with my tail between my legs. I’ve just got a lot of real world stuff to do right now, including starting (yet another) series of college courses, which will hopefully improve my employability.
And for some odd reason, that takes preference to worrying about what is happening in a certain trailer park in MD. (Hi Bill!)
Indeed between web issues and RL I’ve been too busy to waste real time on such a “frivolous” matter …
O.o
Be sure to take some time out to laugh with us when you can. If nothing else, SchmalFOOL’s self-inflicted abject humiliation is funny, funny, funny, in a “he so deserves it” kind of way. hahahahahaha
Did you know that when a party notices a deposition, they must pay for a court reporter to transcribe it? Yes, you can’t “pro se” transcriptions. You also don’t get “indigent” or “disabled” discounts. Court reporters get paid by the hour and per page, so a 2-3 hour deposition, in the D.C. area, may end up costing around $800 or more.
Did you know that when a plaintiff places his or her medical condition at issue, they will have to agree to independent medical evaluations, at doctors selected by the defendants?
LICKSPITTLE!!!!
I could just be blowing smoke. Or not.
$800 x 10 = $8,000
No credit. No, “I’ll pay you later.”
Did you know that like most Schmalfeldt undertakings, this one was not well thought out?
Ahem.
“Like most BILL Schmalfeldt undertakings…”
I’m standing right here, guys!!!
😉
Ah, UPDATE 2 answers a question I had. Like why BS’s blog went berserk and tons of stuff was deleted after you posted that, and after he wrote a blog post saying he didn’t care about HTML.
All your pixels are belong to us.
^ GIGGITY!
When you buy them by the terabyte…
And now he’s back as brainslices . com (yes, I didn’t make it a link for a reason) Crappy page, no content. Same old same old from the old failure. Rage, realize what a complete moron he is, crap pants, delete website, start over. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Blather, rinse, repeat. FIFY.
I’ve been busy all day being productive and what-not. Has he actually filed anything?
No.
Fatboi probably lost the paperwork!
Dog ate it – it’ll be in the bed, later.
Chess vs Checkers. With a very poor checkers player.
Chess vs. ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ against an arthritic T. rex.
Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock. If you please.
He’s actually a worse player than this clown.
Anyone else get the feeling that right about now there is a very large and very stupid blob sitting in his kitchen trying to figure out what John knows? As you can see from the websites he builds, Bill just grabs a template and puts his content in completely, or almost completely, unaware of any nuggets he is leaving for people to find. And now he is worried. Why else take down his last half finished site, buy a new domain name, and start over? What could he have left behind? What does John have that has Bill so worried? Maybe he can get his buddy Neal to help him. I’m sure he isn’t at all busy with his own warrants and lawsuits. Maybe his good friend the bombing perjuring forger can spare him some time because his case is going down the crapper. Poor Bill. A day late, and a dollar short or make that either $350 or $400 dollars short.
Things you will never hear:
I’d help you out, Jiggles. But that money is earmarked for a child-support payment.
claiming to have raised 2500 dollars now
He couldn’t raise $100 last time. So either just a “claim” or he’s guilted someone into helping. I wonder who?
He has admitted that he knows he will not meet his goal. That means that his, oops, I mean the donor’s credit card will never be charged.
Ahhhh.
Oh, now it says the goal is $1,000,000 and raised $0.
Fatboi can’t even ‘pay’ attention! Focus…you need to focus!
And…and…and…HE KEEPS SENDING SPIDERS TO CRAWL ALL OVER MY WEBSITE!!!!
And they’re getting dangerously close to my earz!
I called late last night – around 11 central time spoke to a young man who said he was the clerk and master – no suit was filed nor was any other paperwork, then he went back to vacuuming
That was me, just jerking your chain!
I was there with the time machine (thanks, Kyle!), modifying certain important files, just for the LULZ that will ensure in a few months.
That wasn’t a vacuum cleaner you heard, that was the sound of the trans-dimensional flugger-capacitor, blowing off excess meta-aether (and steam).
That’s what happens when you go back to before the courthouse existed, move into the space it currently occupies, come forward to “now”, then set the machine for a ten-second static loop…
Easiest way, really, to do such a job, albeit a bit noisy when you’re on the phone.
[Oh, Kyle, I think the machine needs a 5000 year service – there was some knocking under the bonnet, might have been the quantum stabilizer acting up. It’s back in the regular spot/regular time, if you want to take a look. I left the key under the mat.]
intentional infliction!!!!! not cool Leroy!!!!!! I’m going to tell MOM!!!
Go ahead and tell!!!
She always like me best, anyway!
Shakey’s Legion of Imaginary Midnight Experts (S.L.I.M.E.)
nicely done.
I’m rather surprised he doesn’t have one as that may be the only instrumentality by which he could be telling the truth about things.
Bill,
Unplug the computer for a week.
At the end of the week, see if you are happier and more relaxed.
Repeat until you see no further improvement, then donate the computer to charity.
The Internet is a vast and dangerous sea, not safe for those who cannot turn their gaze away at will…
Kindest,
Cousin Leroy
Not-My-Cousin Leroy,
Why should it take a week to unplug the computer?
Why would I be more relaxed after unplugging for a full week? Unplugging is hard.
How do I repeat unplugging something that is unplugged? Donate? I’m trying to raise money.
I tamed them seas on two separate enlistments a long time ago. The interwebz aint rough.
/snarc I gave you a thumbs up on your advice. It sure would be nice to see him heed those good words.
Given the high praise I have been receiving of late (with much gratitude!), I hope you will find it equally high praise to hear, “I LOL’d!!”
Thanks PK. You deserve all the praise you are getting.
You know, I kinda agree with this in more ways than I would’ve expected. He’s a sick old toad, with some really gross hangups. But I don’t think he sees the pit he’s digging himself into- rage, depression, unhealthy fixation to words on a screen. I’m almost starting to feel sorry for the guy.
Hey Schmalfeldt- unplug for a week. Go fishing. Eschew electronic conversations that’re limited to 140 characters. If you’re still wanting to tilt at windmills I’m happy to drop it all. Just stop the Shutuppery.
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Oh my…looks as if I missed alot last night. LOL! I guess that’s what I get for having a life off the internet. You mean to tell me Bill was just blowing smoke up everyone’s ass about filing said lawsuit? *gasp* NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!