Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Good afternoon, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Hi! What’s up?

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) We’re putting the finishing touches on our discovery to The Bomber. That background material you’ve dug up has been helpful in framing some of the questions, but I’d like you to take a look to make sure we’re not misinterpreting or forgetting anything.

JOHNNY: Sounds like fun.

BOB BAILEY: (Telephone Filter) Can you be here tomorrow morning, say around 10?

JOHNNY: See you then.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Short-Fused Dud Matter.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) Hey @probono I’ve dug up a couple more items. I’ll bring ‘em with me.

SOUND: Road Noise. Car Interior POV.

SOUND: Cell Phone Rings.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny. Pro Bono says you’ve got some more info on The Bomber.

JOHNNY: I do. It doesn’t seem all that earth-shattering. Mostly nickel/dime stuff. But you can never be too sure.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) True. What sort of stuff?

JOHNNY: Information about the results of some lie detector tests he took for his lawyers during his bombing trials.

AARON: (Telephone Filter) And?

JOHNNY: Oh, it boils down to his not being a very good liar. Or a very smart one.

AARON: (Telephone Filer) How does that help us with discovery.

JOHNNY: It probably doesn’t, but it may give Pro Bono some hints on how to deal with The Bomber in the courtroom.

AARON: (Telephone Filer) He’s a convicted perjurer. He can’t testify.

JOHNNY: Yeah, but since his acting as his own counsel, he’ll be making some sort of statements. Look, I just made the jog around the 7-11 in Damascus on 27. I’ll be at the lawyer’s office in about 45 minutes.

AARON: (Telephone Filer) (Fading out.) I’m on the Beltway. You may beat me …

SOUND: Road Noise out.

ANNOUNCER: Are you a proud member of Team Lickspittle and a fan of Johnny Atsign? You can show you support by wearing Team Lickspittle gear. The Grand Hog, Johnny Atsign, Team Lickspittle, and Res Judicata merchandise is available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today, spend some money, and show your support for Team Lickspittle.

PRO BONO: Well, what did we miss?

JOHNNY: It’s pretty thorough. The first thing that I would add would be a question or two about the status of his parole.


JOHNNY: There are these claims floating around that he’s been secretly exonerated. If that’s true, then why would he still be on parole?

PRO BONO: That’s a good point.

JOHNNY: Also, he was sent back to prison for a parole violation.

PRO BONO: What else?

JOHNNY: Why aren’t you asking for more information on communications between him and some of his associates, The Grouch, for example. If this goes to the next stage, aren’t you going to make counterclaims? Aren’t you going to add parties?

AARON: Well, some of those documents we’re asking for should develop that sort of information.

PRO BONO: Yeah, but Johnny’s right. That sort of communication does bear on the facts of the case and may be useful. It’s always good to get a fresh pair of eyes to look over this sort of thing. These were a couple of good catches.

JOHNNY: Glad to help.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @Goodguysunmask “I’ll try parole violations for $1000, Alex.”

MUSIC: Theme up and under

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next week? Slow and steady may not have won the race yet. But it’s in the lead. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1.

Be sure to tune in on Friday at 6 pm Eastern Time for the next episode of Blognet. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

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