124 thoughts on “I’m Not Making This Up, You Know

    • I missed some from this morning…I don’t see the doomsday clock but Fatboi has been typing his but* off this morning (until he has a brain cramp and has to start over).

  1. i’m sure his explaining why he had the right to steal copyrighted materials that mocked his defamatory story that he removed from his blog when he filed his last police complaint is going to be very convincing to the SA, among his latest activities including attacking babies dead or live on the internet

    • in the acme court of surrealistic appeals, usually open only at midnight, or weekends and xmas eve

      • OK, but you didn’t perjure yourself. He’s just bitching to the cops that he doesn’t like the truth.

        (And if police investigate perjury, well, there are a dozen or so complaints that could be made against his good buddy TDPK…)

  2. “Somebody better tell that poor schmuck that Godzilla’s coming!!” – FBI wiretapper on Miami Vice.

    The Horror is about to realize the consequences of his warped, twisted mind.

  3. CHAIN OF EVENTS — 6(a). Problem. I can not legally contact Hoge since he has a Peace Order against me. Plus, there’s his vested interest…

    CHAIN OF EVENTS — 6. CreateSpace removes my book from its offerings, saying it will restore it when I work out details with Hoge.

    CHAIN OF EVENTS — 5(a). …”World book and ebook rights” to a blog entry that bore no copyright marks or any indication of copyright.

    CHAIN OF EVENTS — 5. Hoge, having been “sold” the rights to a blog that contains no copyright wording, tells CreateSpace that he has…

    CHAIN OF EVENTS — 4. The ever helpful WJJ Hoge suggests he file through an agent, then asks “Paul” to DM him. Paul does so.

    CHAIN OF EVENTS — 3. On April 29, “Paul” asks on his Twitter account if it is possible to request a DMCA takedown under his pseudonym.

    CHAIN OF EVENTS — 2(a). Unhappy that his horrible defamation and libel will be read by more than just his blog readership, he reaches out.

    CHAIN OF EVENTS — 2. “Paul Krendler,” the pseudonymous author of the blog in which he libels and defames me and my wife, haz a sad.

    CHAIN OF EVENTS — 1(a). I provide the link to the blog, I credit the writer. All nice and legal.

    CHAIN OF EVENTS — 1. I publish “Intentional Infliction” on Apr. 23. Under fair use terms of US Copyright law, I use a portion of a blog.

    Making a false statement under penalty of perjury is, uh, perjury. Even when you are the mighty HOGE!

    boys and girls these tweets are the reason why one should engage an attorney before filing false charges and committing perjury with the local authorities – and to not gnaw through your restraints in the morning and log on

    • As I mentioned last night, and I will focus on only point 6(a), that is a flat out lie. The mediation agreement, which BS chose to violate and unilaterally declare null and void, provided for a third party contact, according to BS’s own account of events. Also according to Bill, Mr. H. named his brother (at least I think it was and not a cousin).

      BS is lying. But then, he probably can’t admit that was a dumb move on his part.

    • 5a — all works are copyrighted at moment of creation. Marks and notices are nice, but haven’t been necessary for decades.

    • Copyright still exists under the present legal domain if you don’t have a specific notification of copyright. That is rather like saying if you painted portrait you wouldn’t own the work if you didn’t sign it, but merely the paint and canvas. This is clearly ridiculous. A blog post isn’t part of a word “a blog”, it is an entire work in and of itself. This is obviously the case, as you would be guilty of copyright infringement if you took a short story from a collection of short stories, and published it separately. Without permission, you likewise obviously don’t have the right to publish that short story merely because you point to the original source.

      Thus, 1 fails. 1(a) has no meaning because 1 fails. 2 and 2(a) are the reason he feels justified, but aren’t themselves legal justification. 3-6 are reasonable actions. 6(a) is a self inflicted injury.

      • I was particularly amused by that argument!

        “Your Honor, Stephen King is one of the most prolific authors of the last 50 years. Yes, I stole the entire text of “The Stand” and published it under my own name, but I didn’t steal the foreword, the acknowledgements, the dedication or the author’s notes! That’s good, right? And look at all the rest of his bibliography that I didn’t even touch!

        “Besides, all the proceeds were going to go to great causes like the fight to prevent the Zombie Apocalypse, and the Alliance to Stamp Out Captain Trips. Shouldn’t that mitigate the harm I’ve done? I’m just a harmless, indigent, disabled retiree, your copyright regulations frighten and confuse me…”

  4. I am predicting a new title to a self – I mean – non published book:

    “how to lose everything in 10 tweets or less”

    also known as – “how to lose everything in sixty seconds”

  5. I’m not sure CBBS understands the difference between “plagiarism” and “copyright infringement.” He’s certainly clinging hard to “There was no notice of copyright!” in spite of the fact that, under US copyright law, all newly-created works are copyrighted unless the author specifically opts-out.

    Basically, if you create something, the copyright is yours regardless of whether you include a notice.

    Under his theory of fair use, someone writing a criticism of, say, a poem, could start their paper by reproducing the poem in its entirety.

    I think it’s pretty obvious how that causes problems.

    • Can you opt it of copyright? What I’ve seen is either explicit assignment to public domain or a license that permits specific uses. Neither of which apply here.

      • Yes, you can, but it must be explicit. The default presumption is that a work is copyrighted.

  6. For those who may be confused about copyright issues . . . .

    This analogy is not perfect, because real property, namely your house, a piece of land, is governed by different laws, but there is some overlap, so bear with me.

    You own a house. Your neighbors keep throwing dog poop on your yard. You’re afraid of them, so you don’t complain or call the cops. You have young kids and you don’t want your family to face escalation or retaliation. So, you decided to move to another neighborhood and sell your house to another innocent rube.

    Only, this guy will not put up with this kind of behavior. It is illegal in your county to throw dog waste on other people’s property. Can you sue? Can you call the cops?

    OF COURSE YOU CAN. You are now the owner of that property, and you can exercise your rights, even if the previous owner chose not to do so. Your neighbor can’t argue, “well, the other guy didn’t say anything when I was dumping on his lawn, so you lost your right to say anything!” Well, he can argue it, but in addition to being *ahem* a confession, there is no law to back him up.

    BS could have handled these copyright issues by approaching copyright holders like Krendler and RS McCain (from whom BS has quoted pages), and asking for permission to reprint and agreeing to pay a fee. He chose not to.

    • I have an easy example as well. When you take a photo, are people required to get your permission in order to publish them? Are you required to place a notice or copyright symbol on your photo in order to file a DMCA claim against someone?

      Well, there you go. You created a work. You automatically own it.

  7. What hasn’t been addressed the giant elephant in the room is the publishers of Mad magazine are getting parole soon and when they see the use of Alfred E Newman’s likeness on the cover of Bill’s latest banned book – they are going to be pissed, when they sober up

    • Wondering what the term “adjustment” means to someone who thinks assignation is a verb…

  8. The late Michael Jackson, after acquiring the copyrights to the Beatles catalog, had his legal team shut down companies and individuals that were publishing their music unlawfully even before he acquired the rights. The current owner can exercise their right to demand removal of content not bound by contract to a publisher executed by the previous holder. If no agreement to publish copyrighted material by another party exists, the publisher of said content (except for fair use considerations and publication in a printed book of an entire copyrighted work without expressed written permission is not fair use by any definition) is unlawfully using a copyrighted work and the current owner may demand removal unless an agreement is reached for use of said copyrighted work. Compensation may be required by the current owner.
    Michael Jackson (and his legal team) became even richer in this way. There exists and entire legal industry of enforcing copyright protections and collecting compensation for violation of copyright law by individuals who use copyrighted material without permission of the copyright owner.
    OT: My transport is here, see you all in a couple of hours! Play nice!

  9. I can’t say his argument does very much for his PPPM I’m The VICTIM!!!ELEVENTY1!11 position.

    If he wants to argue that our Gracious Host cannot claim the rights to a work with no copyright symbol (a documentable, provably false legal assertion), then it follows both legally and logically that I do not have the ability to assign full or partial rights as befits my interests (also false).

    From that conclusion, it must follow that anyone’s work, as long as there is no statement or symbol of copyright affixed, is fair game.

    Here we come to the only potential sticking point: in a Venn diagram describing “anyone,” is the Cabin Boy inside or outside the circle? If he is, then his rules apply to him, and to his photographs.

    Oh – wait…

    Did you hear that? It sounded like…a… chain link snapping. And a dog running loose.

    Hey…where did Howard Hanger-Earl disappear to?

    • He also dropped this whopper….
      Now he carries out his harassment on his blog, hogwash.com, which I can ignore.

      • No, he cannot. It is an idee fixe that possess his mind even whilst asleep …

      • Actually it’s an admission against interest. He’s constantly railing about how he has the right to read Hogewash! whenever he wants and that it’s our Host’s responsibility to make sure it doesn’t give him a sad. Here he admits that he can ignore it; by extension, he chooses not to and thus all the offense he takes is a direct result of his own chosen acts. Puts the lie to all claims of harassment arising from this blog.

  10. I like that in his screed to the cops, he keeps using the word “killed”. Gives the complaint a nice murdery feel dontcha think?

  11. I used to have back and forth with people claiming to be jihadists in my Qatar years – the asshattery of their wild claims , almost reaches the level of ignorance …..

  12. Does anyone know if @/bexmajella is a gay bigamist? She tweeted that she made some wives very angry yesterday.

    Probably told them yes, those pants DO make your ass look fat.

    That’s all it usually takes for Mrs. Krendler…

    • Notice that, just like Baghdad Blob, she won’t answer who she contacted or anything else. So just lay the lie out there and refuse to answer any questions about it.

      Hey Leroy, is that a Schmalfeldt trait?

      • * Supervise play groups of 25-30 dogs
        * Clean kennels and dog play areas

        Well that explains a lot!!!

      • A word of caution – sometimes people create accounts for family members without their knowledge, or that family member gives it up, etc. It is entirely possible that his sister has no idea what he’s been up to. her profile also shows that she’s had other jobs and was the primary caregiver for her late mother. The economy has been awful, and has negatively affected many decent, hard working people. My default assumption when dealing with known trolls and socks is that some of their “supporters” are themselves.

      • I don’t think there’s anything nuts about that linkedin profile. She worked in an industry for 18 years, a tenure which ends during a time that her employer was in bankruptcy proceedings. Her resume shows she probably stayed busy after that time anyway, and she is currently employed again. Her current employment may have started just as soon as her family obligations made it possible. It’s really not a bad resume, although I don’t know much about that industry she came from.

        The profile picture is unusual but maybe that’s common practice in the graphic design area.

        In summary, there are no serious grounds for criticism to be found in the linkedin profile. I don’t think there are even a lot of unserious grounds.

        I’m willing to assume good faith – up to and including entertaining the assumption that CBBS is operating that new twitter account. If not, the twitter behavior is strange, but less so if you assume she believed some wild story CBBS told her. Admittedly, believing a story by CBBS is a little nuts. But for all we know, she hasn’t had much regular contact for him for a long time, and knows him from a time that he wasn’t such a liar. If there even was such a time. Anyway, I’m not hasty to judge.

      • Her profile also shows she was her mothers primary caregiver until she sent her to a nursing home. Anyone remember Bill mentioning her being there when she died? He said he was the only one to care for her and the only one there and he had to call and let everyone know. Seems a little hinky that if she cared for her mom all those years that she would abandon her after placing her in a home.

      • The patterns of expression are too similar. The sister is real, but the account is all Bill.

        I wouldn’t be surprised if she wants nothing to do with him, and is therefore completely unaware of this particular malfeasance.

    • Heh. Bill obviously doesn’t understand that Twitter registers your computers unique MAC address every time you log in, no matter what account you use, Twitter handle, email resending service, anonymizer, TOR node or any other attempt to hide your real identity. Every single computer out there from servers down to cell phones has a unique MAC address. Since this Twitter account can be tied to Bill’s laptop via this information, all Tweets from this account that @mention or address directly the Twitter handle @WJJHoge are in fact unlawful direct contact. All this information is subpoena fodder and I’m sure Zoa will have a field day with that.

      • Come on, Inspector Jiggles. It’s called a phyical address. You’re a smart guy, right?
        You know all about the unique 12-digit hexadecimal number that captures the MAC manufacturer and the unique serial number assigned to the adapter by said manufacturer.

        Think of the V.I.N. on your car.
        Or your fingerprint.
        Or a distinctive gumming mark.

        The MAC is the thing that generates that pesky number thingy.

        Absolutley traceable.
        Poor, dumb bastard.


      The account is gone, because apparently Stumbles thinks that makes all the evidence disappear.

      No, Billy boy, it just shows proof of a guilty mind.

  13. Oh, as for the cited statutes…

    § 3-803(b) specifically says “This section does not apply to a peaceable activity intended to express a political view or provide information to others,” while § 3-805(a) defines electronic communication as “the transmission of information, data, or a communication by the use of a computer or any other electronic means that is sent to a person and that is received by the person,” and § 3-805(d) sets out the exact same exception as § 3-803(b).

    As for the perjury one… Well, I suspect he doesn’t get that one right either…

    What’s the penalty for false reports again?

    • At some point, HoCOPD is going to start viewing him as the boy who cried wolf.

      At a minimum I would hope that after the second or at most third of these “bogus” complaints, LE would look into charges for false reports. Not only is the complainant annoying his victims, but he/she is wasting valuable LE staff time. I don’t imagine HoCoPD is doing any better than my local PD on staffing (I’ve voted on town budgets, and read all the reports from the Chiefs about staffing issues) and by taking up their time with “bogus” complaint after “bogus” complaint, and not only does this sort of thing annoy PDs, it hurts the rest of the citizens of the area too, since their taxes are paying the staff and they aren’t getting any benefit since regular police duties are having to be curtailed to deal with said “bogus” complains.

      • Scott; Remember one hangs lower than the other, thus that’s “unfair” and since you are obviously white, that is inherently a RAAAAACIST example of micro-aggression!
        I denounce you!


    I have recently obtained the copyrights to the aforementioned police investigation, known as the “Hoge Investigation”. And I will be enforcing my rights if a certain individual does not stop stealing blog posts. If this certain individual agrees to stop stealing blog posts, I could be persuaded to deliver the copyrights of the “Hoge Investigation” to that person’s front porch in a non-descript brown paper bag. I await the individual’s decision.

    *Note: If the paper bag happens to catch fire, the individual should stamp it out until it is extinguished and then check the bottom of his shoe. The copyrights to the police investigation should be stuck to his sole.

  15. You mean how he thought the Stranahan’s were “funny” after the death of their daughter? And Patrick Grady’s disabled son is “funny”?


    Bill Schmalfeldt @PatOmbudsman
    That’s the part that really amazes me, that these hate-filled, slack jawed idiots think a person’s grief is FUNNY! 1:31 PM – 1 May 2014

  16. bill thanked all the haters for raising his book to number 9 on a minor list – that only had six books to begin with

    • I think it had fallen off the list even before it was pulled. It certainly was below 9.

      I just took a certain perverse enjoyment in watching how a man who claims to be fighting for the disabled against bullying, harasses folks for having Aspberger’s, or being bipolar (or at least thinking that they have those diagnoses). If the law he claims to want to push through were to go through, he’d find himself in more than a bit of trouble for that.

  17. OK, I admit I’ve been busier than a dog with two Willys, and pretty much out of the loop (except for posting really naughty pictures, sorry John), but I have no idea what Willy’s talking about here:


    Apparently he says a law has been broken, yadda, yadda, yadda. Doomclock. Rinse. lather, repeat. But what in the name of God is he referring to?

    This is goofy even for him.

    • You missed a lot yesterday afternoon and evening. Recommend you read last night’s blog post and tweets for details.

      In a nutshell, BS wrote an obscene parody of WJJH and his family. Yes, I know, who’d a thunk it. He then, typically, sanitized his blog. Paul Krendler spoofed that obscene parody on his own blog, Thinking Man’s Zombie. BS then reproduced Krendler’s parody of his parody in his latest book, Intentional Infliction. When Paul called BS on stealing his post, BS basically told him to kiss off. Paul then assigned his print and ebook writes to WJJH, who filed a DMCA complaint. Amazon and the publisher then pulled the book. BS is siccing the police on both of them for butthurt, only he is calling it stalking, harassment, and perjury.

      • In particular, he is claiming that because Mr. Hoge did not have the rights to the parody on the day that the book was published, he is not allowed to assert his rights with respect to Unintentional Fiction ever. According to the Great Legal Scholar of Elkridge, only the holder of the rights at the time of the infringement has the legal ability to claim they were infringed.

        Of course the GLSE spent the first part of the day demanding that Krendler and Hoge produce the paperwork, with Krendler’s legal name and contact info, to prove that Hoge had really had the rights transfered to him. And then we had a doom clock which was supposed to go to 8pm, changed to 9pm, before the legal hounds would be released. However, it turns out that he had already made that call at 6pm.

        We are wondering how hard they are laughing at various police stations in Maryland. Particularly because the police aren’t the ones who investigate forgery.

  18. I’ll settle for an Arizona Restraining Order. Particularly sine AZ is known for extraditing for anything, even a parking ticket. The violation of a RO by someone “back East” makes them positively drool. They are also penny-wise. Transport is handled by Con-Air (U.S. Marshals Service) under contract. No commercial flight cuffed to a deputy like in the movies. The Marshal’s Service is well acquainted with transport of wheelchair bound folks (and folks that fake it too). Belly chain, black-box handcuffs, short leg shackles, all with padlocks. Gotta hop up those steep roll-away stairs to board the plane. Leg shackles will not let you step up the stairs. Coming down is worse as is the long hot drives from the airport in Phoenix to the county jail in a 10 passenger van … and 15 other prisoners crammed in with you. No A/C in the passenger compartment, only for the guards. Lots of fun …

  19. You know, I wish someone could define what “soon” means to Oedipal Troll. The other evening when he made his ever-so-polite (Õ.o) request for me to dox myself, he asked what a “short while” was, then immediately began accusing me of “ignoring him” and “going into hiding” when what I was actually doing was “driving home” and “eating dinner.” I was never going send him an email, which to him is like an invitation to firebomb your house. I had planned a response on my blog, but cooler heads prevailed.

    But now I have “Soon.” hanging over my head like the blade of a guillotine. The stress of waiting for the Howard County MD Sheriff’s Department to contact me is wearing me out! Could it be shaving years off my life? Could it be exacerbating my already diseased mind? Is that such a bad thing?

    I expect answers by 8:00 PM Eastern time, Bill, or I turn everything I have to Law Enforcement. It’s my understanding they aren’t very happy with you and with all the…service they are having to provide you these days. I sure would hate to have to do anything that might further influence their collective opinion of you. But I will if you force me. Now I’m not making any threats. I don’t make threats. I make promises. So I promise that if you don’t tell me exactly what “Soon.” means, you won’t like what happens next.

    So how was that? Did I get him right?

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