min·ion noun \ˈmin-yən\ : a servile dependent, follower, or underling.
Team Lickspittle is not a collection of servile underlings dependent on The Grand Hog. Rather, it is a bit of shameless commerce based on a parody of the Cabin Boy’s™ lame attempt to denigrate a group of commenters here at Hogewash! who fail to suffer his foolishness gladly. It’s an exercise in appropriating one of the Cabin Boy’s™ memes for the opposite purpose he intended. Think of it as intentional infliction of deserved ridicule.
Team Lickspittle is not the only meme Hogewash! has hijacked from Schmalfeldt and his buddies at Team Kimberlin. Blogsmoke and Twittertown Sheriff were originally part of an attempted put down by Xenophon in a post at Breitbart Unmasked. Blogsmoke, Blognet, and Johnny Atsign are my response. They’re also a bit of an old-time radio dig at certain failed Internet radio formats. The Grand Hog was originally a lame bit of snark by the Cabin Boy™. I’m now selling The Grand Hog merchandise at The Hogewash Store. Schmalfeldt cropped my likeness out of a picture taken CPAC this year and used it for a “Big Hoge Is Watching You” image. I responded by using a headshot derived from the same photograph as my avatar on Twitter.
The Cabin Boy™ simply doesn’t get it. He’s never had control of the narrative. I control the vertical and the horizontal, the brightness and the contrast; my hand is on the volume knob. But that control doesn’t come from having a horde of underlings who do my bidding. It comes from the power of having truth on my side.
To be fair, being the party that isn’t dumb as a stump also plays a role.
And.. scene.
……and a full wit!
…..not a ‘nit’s worth.
Über thumbs-up to this blog post!
There is much power to be had by having truth on one’s side. Bill Schmalfeldt willfully denies himself such power via his never-ending addiction to lies.
Keep digging, you ginormous tool. CBBS… you passed being a dumb bastard a long time ago. The future will not be kind to you… deservedly so.
I can’t wait until you show up on the cover of Tiger Beat. I hope they include a poster.
P.S. Typo: “Rather, it is an bit….” Should be “a.”
Thanks. Fixed it.
I’m starting to believe that this Schmalfeldt character isn’t playing with a full deck. Or even cards.
He fancies himself a Monopoly on brains.
Yet, he is playing checkers.
He will go straight to jail and NOT pass GO!
Checkers? I was thinking Chutes and Losers.
Without Bill to bully, you wouldn’t have a narrative, you fucking twat. Your life, your genes, everything about is an epic failure. Bill’s got more courage than you do pockmarks.
Hi, Neal!
Amazing. Deranged cyberstalkers make life a living hell for others for years. When someone holds them accountable, they lie about the history of the interactions and claim victimhood.
Which at least partially explains the “deranged” part of the descriptor.
Folks like Bill only exist because I think as a society we’ve in some ways become too civilized for our own good. Back in the days when “He needed killin'” was a valid defense for homicide, folks tended to behave themselves in a more polite fashion, knowing that if they didn’t, someone might take it upon themselves to clean the locale up without having to worry too much about repercussions, IYKWIMAITYD.
The original point of a jury of one’s peers was to have a jury who actually knew the people involved, so they knew who to give credence to, and who couldn’t stop lying to save their life. If that was the modern standard for juries and law enforcement in general, cancres like Bill and Brett would be in trouble.
librarygryffon,
Before now I would never have believed the words “folks like Bill” could appear in a sentence.
Now, don’t ever do it again!
Shouldn’t you be writing a child support check or something, Neal?
Oh…I think that’s BS. “Twat”, “Pockmarks”, denigrating your life’s accomplishments, the whole speaking in the third person and extolling his “courage”…come on, it has BS written all over it.
Lovely.
Shouldn’t you be dealing with those arrest warrants instead of trolling here?
Patrick, you have a point. It should probably be “critters like Bill” or “hominids like Bill”.
Friendly advice, Neal — when the police catch up to you, DO NOT REACH TO PULL UP YOUR PANTS!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7mo1h_there-s-something-about-mary-rest-s_fun
Flopsweat and courage are different things, Neal.
If he weren’t so viciously disgusting and vindictive, I’d feel sorry for him. I have never seen someone so relentless in spewing vile rage. Alas, the pointing and laughing is well deserved, not to mention the legal ramifications that will befall upon him.
Bill Schmalfeldt @PatOmbudsman 16m
This is why I sometimes take this account private. People I’ve blocked sneaking in the backdoor looking for things to cut and paste.
First, your statement makes no sense at all. You take your twitter feed private because people are “sneaking in the backdoor”? What does that even mean? How does it prevent people who are following you from, well, following you?
Do you ever think before you type?
Second, I find this statement incredibly hypocritical coming from someone who has more twitter accounts than friends (or, for that matter, “books”).
You can read people’s timelines even if you don’t have a Twitter account. Also, isn’t doxing against Twitter TOS?
Bill has made a hobby of breaking Twitter TOS.
Where’d he come from!
“But respect the rules of Twitter.”
Gigglesnort.
https://twitter.com/PatOmbudsman/status/460156989264248832
If he had really blocked someone, they couldn’t @ mention him, so their tweets wouldn’t show up in his timeline. Of course, based on stuff he’s tweeted recently, he thinks it rude to @ someone without first getting their permission. Unless you are Bill, in which case you can @ anyone you damn well want, and it’s rude to complain about it. The standard narcissistic “I can do whatever I want, and you have to do whatever I want”.
And if by staying off his timeline he means, don’t read it, there is no way to prevent anyone from doing so, blocked or not. If he doesn’t want people he hasn’t expressly OKed reading his tweets, maybe he should get the hell off Twitter?
But, as I said above, he’s a narcissist; rules are only for others.
Have you ever in your life met a more useless narcissist?
“Think of it as intentional infliction of deserved ridicule.”
My GIGGITY is GOOED, sir.
I missed that the first time through.
I see what you did there John.
I see you’re running some of his greatest hits on Twitter.
More to follow. As I stated. I have GBs of them.
It’s beginning to look like Karoli came to her senses (or spent 30 seconds on Google) and decided not to do a story on Bill. Too bad, the more attention his behavior gets, the better.
Nonetheless, this fact is eventually going to dawn on our Einstein, and then the dam will break (er, as it were).
You mean we might get a melt down more epic than the one earlier this week with three hours of straight tweets? Or more #Faildox? Or #copyrightinfringement? Or yet another “last book”? Or a fantastic melange of all of the above?
Time to replenish the popcorn stocks.
Uh, yes.
https://twitter.com/PatOmbudsman/status/460182148675563520
I can only assume that his thought processes are becoming so scattered it’s impossible to follow them. I get that this is an Animal Farm reference, but I doubt anyone could make a connection between that and Bill’s constant assaults on Our Host and other regular readers or why he thinks we’re just mindless drones following orders.
Be watching my Twitter. I have opened the archives to show all the true Inspector Jiggles.
He assures us that the people he is writing for get the reference and don’t have to have it explained to them. The thought that there are other people out there who think the same way he does is rather frightening at first glance, but then one realizes that it’s probably just people who egg him on for the amusement value; they were the kids back in school who pretended to make friends with the special ed kids so they could laugh at them.
I’m not on Twitter. But that is probably a public service.
Also it’s ironic because he actually is a friendless minion/patsy who has been used by cruel people who don’t give a rats ass about him.
Well bless his little heart, Willy’s got some more imaginary friends!
His thoughts have been scattered for quite some time. Cyber narcissists like Billow leave interesting trails all over the interwebz. It didn’t take long to find some gems which shed light on him.
By the way, I can’t believe I’m the first one here to call him “Billow!” (Meaning: a large undulating mass of something, typically steam – but any undulating mass will do!)
Here’s his “one last try” selling one of his horrible books. Back in 2010. http://parkybill.wordpress.com/2010/11/27/one-last-try-then-i-give-up/
Yes, he wrote a press release about himself in the third person, surprise, surprise. Also, in his blog post he states that $20 of the proceeds from each book sale would go to Parkinson’s charities, but in the press release he states that the whole $40 would go to charity. C’mon Billow, keep your story straight!
He seems to “give up” and come back an awful lot, doesn’t he? Quite the pattern there, Billow.
Here’s another interesting blast from the past, again in 2010: Billow was already losing control of his cognitive processes. http://parkybill.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/test-may-predict-cognitive-decline-in-parkinsons-disease/
“…I’m showing signs of executive dysfunction — losing track of what I’m supposed to do in the shower, losing my place in a script and having to listen to what I’ve already recorded to find my place, getting interrupted in a task then having NO IDEA what I was doing before the interruption – fun stuff like that.”
Interesting that he thinks that he can rely on his memory for anything, even what he said on Twitter a day or two ago. He couldn’t keep the amount being donated to charity straight one blog post back in 2010. His brain was already so addled that his wife had to take his credit cards away from him. http://parkybill.wordpress.com/2010/12/22/hand-over-the-credit-cards-and-nobody-get-hurt/
You can see that even back in 2010, Billow is and always has been a self-proclaimed drama queen: http://parkybill.wordpress.com/2010/12/31/mr-body-worlds-announces-he-has-parkinsons-disease/#more-21161
Yes, Billow is being picked on by the lickspittle minions at the behest of the super-evil genius, WJJ Hoge. Seriously, someone should just take the internet away from this addle-brained narcissist already, for his own damn good as well as those he chose to harass before he started getting “picked on” and any future Billow victims.
Agree with everything here, though I have one small correction. He never says the whole $40 will go to his charities, just the entire author portion, so on a $40 self-published book, that could be $20 I suppose. The author portion of the current “book” will around $2.50-$3.00 on a $9.00 publication.
Thanks for the correction.
You know you’re screwed when Karoli – passes on defending you…
Truth!
Over at Ace of Spades, his minions cheerfully embrace the term “morons.” They are, in truth, anything but.
And remember when Little Green Footballs was actually worth noticing? They were “lizards” in a rather odd and convoluted story. I think it’s still in use by the very, very few fools who still hang out there, but I really can’t be bothered to check.
Lizardoid Minions, if you please.
Now, we are “banned camp”, and may be found in many corners of the web.
Minion means whatever you say it means…Master.
Must go do crimes…in history.
What did you do with Betty’s pony?
The correct question is not “what” did I do with Betty’s pony, but “when” did I do with Betty’s pony.
Not right.
Mr. Or Ms. Downtwinkles has no perseverance.
OK, OK… if I can’t be a minion, can I be a mini-onion?