Team Lickspittle and Minions

min·ion noun \ˈmin-yən\ : a servile dependent, follower, or underling.

Team Lickspittle is not a collection of servile underlings dependent on The Grand Hog. Rather, it is a bit of shameless commerce based on a parody of the Cabin Boy’s™ lame attempt to denigrate a group of commenters here at Hogewash! who fail to suffer his foolishness gladly. It’s an exercise in appropriating one of the Cabin Boy’s™ memes for the opposite purpose he intended. Think of it as intentional infliction of deserved ridicule.

Team Lickspittle is not the only meme Hogewash! has hijacked from Schmalfeldt and his buddies at Team Kimberlin. Blogsmoke and Twittertown Sheriff were originally part of an attempted put down by Xenophon in a post at Breitbart Unmasked. Blogsmoke, Blognet, and Johnny Atsign are my response. They’re also a bit of an old-time radio dig at certain failed Internet radio formats. The Grand Hog was originally a lame bit of snark by the Cabin Boy™. I’m now selling The Grand Hog merchandise at The Hogewash Store. Schmalfeldt cropped my likeness out of a picture taken CPAC this year and used it for a “Big Hoge Is Watching You” image. I responded by using a headshot derived from the same photograph as my avatar on Twitter.

The Cabin Boy™ simply doesn’t get it. He’s never had control of the narrative. I control the vertical and the horizontal, the brightness and the contrast; my hand is on the volume knob. But that control doesn’t come from having a horde of underlings who do my bidding. It comes from the power of having truth on my side.

59 thoughts on “Team Lickspittle and Minions

  1. Über thumbs-up to this blog post!

    There is much power to be had by having truth on one’s side. Bill Schmalfeldt willfully denies himself such power via his never-ending addiction to lies.

    Keep digging, you ginormous tool. CBBS… you passed being a dumb bastard a long time ago. The future will not be kind to you… deservedly so.

  2. I’m starting to believe that this Schmalfeldt character isn’t playing with a full deck. Or even cards.

  3. Without Bill to bully, you wouldn’t have a narrative, you fucking twat. Your life, your genes, everything about is an epic failure. Bill’s got more courage than you do pockmarks.

  4. If he weren’t so viciously disgusting and vindictive, I’d feel sorry for him. I have never seen someone so relentless in spewing vile rage. Alas, the pointing and laughing is well deserved, not to mention the legal ramifications that will befall upon him.

  5. Bill Schmalfeldt ‏@PatOmbudsman 16m
    This is why I sometimes take this account private. People I’ve blocked sneaking in the backdoor looking for things to cut and paste.

    First, your statement makes no sense at all. You take your twitter feed private because people are “sneaking in the backdoor”? What does that even mean? How does it prevent people who are following you from, well, following you?

    Do you ever think before you type?

    Second, I find this statement incredibly hypocritical coming from someone who has more twitter accounts than friends (or, for that matter, “books”).

    • You can read people’s timelines even if you don’t have a Twitter account. Also, isn’t doxing against Twitter TOS?

      If he had really blocked someone, they couldn’t @ mention him, so their tweets wouldn’t show up in his timeline. Of course, based on stuff he’s tweeted recently, he thinks it rude to @ someone without first getting their permission. Unless you are Bill, in which case you can @ anyone you damn well want, and it’s rude to complain about it. The standard narcissistic “I can do whatever I want, and you have to do whatever I want”.

      • And if by staying off his timeline he means, don’t read it, there is no way to prevent anyone from doing so, blocked or not. If he doesn’t want people he hasn’t expressly OKed reading his tweets, maybe he should get the hell off Twitter?

        But, as I said above, he’s a narcissist; rules are only for others.

  6. It’s beginning to look like Karoli came to her senses (or spent 30 seconds on Google) and decided not to do a story on Bill. Too bad, the more attention his behavior gets, the better.

    Nonetheless, this fact is eventually going to dawn on our Einstein, and then the dam will break (er, as it were).

    • You mean we might get a melt down more epic than the one earlier this week with three hours of straight tweets? Or more #Faildox? Or #copyrightinfringement? Or yet another “last book”? Or a fantastic melange of all of the above?

      Time to replenish the popcorn stocks.


    I can only assume that his thought processes are becoming so scattered it’s impossible to follow them. I get that this is an Animal Farm reference, but I doubt anyone could make a connection between that and Bill’s constant assaults on Our Host and other regular readers or why he thinks we’re just mindless drones following orders.

      • He assures us that the people he is writing for get the reference and don’t have to have it explained to them. The thought that there are other people out there who think the same way he does is rather frightening at first glance, but then one realizes that it’s probably just people who egg him on for the amusement value; they were the kids back in school who pretended to make friends with the special ed kids so they could laugh at them.

    • Also it’s ironic because he actually is a friendless minion/patsy who has been used by cruel people who don’t give a rats ass about him.

  8. His thoughts have been scattered for quite some time. Cyber narcissists like Billow leave interesting trails all over the interwebz. It didn’t take long to find some gems which shed light on him.

    By the way, I can’t believe I’m the first one here to call him “Billow!” (Meaning: a large undulating mass of something, typically steam – but any undulating mass will do!)

    Here’s his “one last try” selling one of his horrible books. Back in 2010.

    Yes, he wrote a press release about himself in the third person, surprise, surprise. Also, in his blog post he states that $20 of the proceeds from each book sale would go to Parkinson’s charities, but in the press release he states that the whole $40 would go to charity. C’mon Billow, keep your story straight!

    He seems to “give up” and come back an awful lot, doesn’t he? Quite the pattern there, Billow.

    Here’s another interesting blast from the past, again in 2010: Billow was already losing control of his cognitive processes.

    “…I’m showing signs of executive dysfunction — losing track of what I’m supposed to do in the shower, losing my place in a script and having to listen to what I’ve already recorded to find my place, getting interrupted in a task then having NO IDEA what I was doing before the interruption – fun stuff like that.”

    Interesting that he thinks that he can rely on his memory for anything, even what he said on Twitter a day or two ago. He couldn’t keep the amount being donated to charity straight one blog post back in 2010. His brain was already so addled that his wife had to take his credit cards away from him.

    You can see that even back in 2010, Billow is and always has been a self-proclaimed drama queen:

    Yes, Billow is being picked on by the lickspittle minions at the behest of the super-evil genius, WJJ Hoge. Seriously, someone should just take the internet away from this addle-brained narcissist already, for his own damn good as well as those he chose to harass before he started getting “picked on” and any future Billow victims.

    • Agree with everything here, though I have one small correction. He never says the whole $40 will go to his charities, just the entire author portion, so on a $40 self-published book, that could be $20 I suppose. The author portion of the current “book” will around $2.50-$3.00 on a $9.00 publication.

  9. Over at Ace of Spades, his minions cheerfully embrace the term “morons.” They are, in truth, anything but.

    And remember when Little Green Footballs was actually worth noticing? They were “lizards” in a rather odd and convoluted story. I think it’s still in use by the very, very few fools who still hang out there, but I really can’t be bothered to check.

    • Lizardoid Minions, if you please.

      Now, we are “banned camp”, and may be found in many corners of the web.

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