Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign


Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Cell phone rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Johnny? Where are you? I thought you’d be back today.

JOHNNY: Not yet. I’ve taken a detour to run down another lead.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Oh?

JOHNNY: I’m driving back from Chicago rather than flying. It’s given me a chance to stop off along the way and interview some witnesses.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Witnesses? To what? Where?

JOHNNY: Right now, I’m in Bloomington.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Short-Fused Dud Matter.

THE GRIMMACE TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @JohnnyAtsign. Call me. I have an old girlfriend you’d like to meet.

JOHNNY: The Grimmace is an old colleague from a previous adventure. When I called him he told me of an old girlfriend he had had in Bloomington years ago. Through her, he had met several interesting people, and one of them was of particular interest to me, a young kid dealing dope. It turned out that The Grimmace’s friend was still in Bloomington where she was practicing law. I arranged to meet her at the B Town Diner across the street from The Bluebird. And not too far from the Monroe County Courthouse.

SOUND: Restaurant background.

JOHNNY: MizB, thank you for meeting me.

MIZB: When The Grimmace called me and told me what you’re investigating, I wanted to help.

JOHNNY: Why?

MIZB: Look, I hung out with some … shall we say … interesting characters when I was in school—The Grimmace is an example—and almost all of us got our acts together and became responsible adults. The Bomber, on the other hand, went from being a petty criminal to something much worse. I thought he was still in prison for the stuff he did up in Speedway. I hadn’t heard anything about him since the VP dope dealing lies.

JOHNNY: Why do you call those stories lies?

MIZB: Because they are. The Bomber met the VP-to-be through me. I grew up with the VP’s wife, but we really didn’t hang out together here in Bloomington. The Bomber happened to be at my place when she came by introduce her new husband to me. The Grimmace was there too. Ask him.

JOHNNY: OK, what else do you want to tell me?

MIZB: (Fade out) Like I said, he started out as a small time dealer …

SOUND: Restaurant background out.

ANNOUNCER: Well, it looks like Johnny will be driving back from Bloomington, and that’s a fairly long haul down I-70. Fortunately, he has his own Johnny Atsign Travel Mug with him to keep his road coffee warm. Johnny Atsign, Team Lickspittle, and Res Judicata travel mugs are available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today, spend some money, and show your support for Team Lickspittle.

SOUND: Road noise. Car interior POV.

SOUND: Cell phone rings twice. Caller’s POV.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Hello, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Yeah, it’s me. Isn’t Caller ID wonderful? Got a minute?

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) Of course. Where are you?

JOHNNY: Wheeling just disappeared in the rear view mirror. I’ll be back in the morning.

PRO BONO: (Telephone Filter) So, was your stop in Indiana worthwhile?

JOHNNY: I’d say so. One thing for sure—The Bomber isn’t fondly remembered by his former associates there. If some of this stuff checks out, it will expand what we know from that biography. I’ll give you a complete report tomorrow.

SOUND: Road noise out.

JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @ProBono Wait till you see this expense report!

MUSIC: Theme up and under

ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.

JOHNNY: Next week? Pick a card. Any card. Join us, won’t you?

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Swell theme and under

ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.

MUSIC: Theme up to music out.

ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

14 thoughts on “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

  1. I really hope that when this whole mess is over, and hopefully BK is at the very least declared a vexatious litigant, someone writes the whole story of how it came to pass. It would make for a very interesting read.

  2. I would like to suggest that you communicate your findings to Mark Singer. Would you consider this?

    From reading his book, I think he was quite mad at Kimberlin for trying to play him, which is why Singer made much of the book about Kimberlin’s “inappropriate” relationship with the young girl (Singer quoted Lolita when talking about it), with much of the rest being about the bombings. Singer definitely believes Brett is the bomber and makes sure the reader believes that too. Singer falls short of saying Brett Kimberlin is a pedophile, but he probably suspects it and wants the reader to know about Brett’s totally creepy behavior, even opening the book using an anecdote of newly-released Brett Kimberlin making a very laughable overture to a teenaged girl sitting across from him on the bus.

    Remember Singer’s whole reason for writing about Brett was his interest in Brett’s implied story – which is that “the Bureau of Prisons is capriciously mistreating me, at the behest of the current administration, to hide that Quayle is just a total hypocrite.” I hope all readers will admit this is a compelling story and contains a tale of important miscarriage of justice. If White House or Quayle had requested the injustice, they really ought to have been raked over the coals for it!

    I think Singer, in the end, just throws his hands up at getting to the bottom of any story where the main source was Brett. (Where main sources are NOT Brett, Singer makes sure readers see that Brett is a damn liar.) He would be interested to know just how far from being true the Quayle pot story was. And be sure to see the other important aspect: that Brett’s tales of being a political prisoner is just more fanciful attention-seeking on the part of a man who will say anything to make you doubt the truth, which is that he was imprisoned for totally disgusting unconscionable acts and the stupid election of course has nothing to do with why he is in jail.

    • To those who haven’t read _Citizen K_,

      Singer also knows Brett is the one who got William Bowman to shoot Julia Scyphers as revenge for separating him from the young teenage girl he’d been pursuing since she was age 10. Singer is not beyond the reach of Brett Kimberlin’s lawfare like I am so he stops short of saying that Brett definitely had Julia Scyphers killed. Therefore let me pause to say it for him:

      Brett Coleman Kimberlin is a murderer who arranged for William Bowman to shoot Julia Scyphers dead. And Brett Coleman Kimberlin did it because he is a pedophile who was enraged because the family of the little girl crossed him by separating her from him. (Moreover it appears she may have just recently gained the maturity to find Kimberlin a bad man.) Then to compound his awful, disgusting, cold, perverted, murdering behavior, Kimberlin set off bombs that ripped off a man’s leg and hand. And then he made HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of dollars while in jail, hid it from the widow he was ordered to pay restitution to, bragged about it to a reporter, … probably had more hundreds of thousands stashed away from his days of being a violent smuggler gangster like a small Al Capone, then got out and made more millions which he also hid from the law to avoid giving justice to his surviving bombing victim. Also remember how he lies and lies about this. And everything else.

      And is still a pedophile child abuser.

      I hope Singer could take some pride in seeing the above, and knowing that the public can still see the truth of Brett Kimberlin. I also hope he thinks on how Kimberlin was still able to dupe more people to carry out more injustice and maybe Singer can still help with that too.

      • But…but…but…Brett Kimberlin’s truth has an expiration date! Stalking! Harrassment! Why, mentioning what he is is a conspiracy!

        Love,
        Team Themis

        Seriously, Kimberlin’s past (and not so past) transgression will cease to be relevant as soon as the Statute of Limitations on his crime against Julia Scyphers expires.

      • Pablo,

        Understand, I found that no statute of limitations applies to murder (in Indiana, anyway). If I am mistaken, please correct me.

        Naturally Kimberlin’s past – for which there is no repentance, apology, or contrition – is totally relevant to the way we must understand him and evaluate his contemporary actions and statements.

        It must also be remembered that his defenders and helpers bring upon themselves a taste of the same judgment.

      • Totally unrepentant, unreformed and unredeemed. He has willfully continued his criminal and sinful life instead of accepting his actions as wrong and worthy of punishment and requiring reformation, repentance and redemption.

    • Onlooker,

      Not sure where Bowman is. He was released because the only witness who put him at the scene died a week after pointing him out.

      I do hope a good cold case team is working the Scyphers murder. There are so many new ways to connect a person to a crime scene, forensically, that were not available in 1979. I’d like to see pressure put on him so that he flips on BK. I’m not sure Bowman is alive any more. I *think* I remember reading somewhere that he was dead, leaving the only link to Kimberlin buried as well.

      • It looks like he may still be alive (he’ll be about 67 now), and has used or is using an alias. Very curious now, hope to confirm.

  3. I hope the Bomber is very worried. There are probably lots of crimes for which he still could face prosecution. Yes, the murder of Julia Scyphers. Last I heard, the feds still prosecute for tax evasion. Protip: Don’t tell the IRS that you live on very little income if you in fact have other sources of money. Bonus Protip: Don’t try to outcrazy RS McCain, and don’t tick off Johnny Atsign.

    • There are a few other admonitions that are apt but I shan’t reveal them. They are poised to bite him on his fourth point of contact quite severely …

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