How I Cracked the Case


The Cabin Boy™ wonders why he wasn’t able to maintain his sekrit identity as Clark Kent Matthew Lillefielt for a whole week. The answer is that he is mind-bogglingly clumsy with operational security. Although I saw no need to mention it, I’ve been aware of the Matthew Lillefielt ID for quite a while. I stumbled on it when I went to document one of the videos he had posted. I went searching for his The Lord of Satire YouTube channel, and found this:YouTube_LoSThere’s the Cabin Boy’s™ portrait inset into a banner from one of his pornographic animated videos, and there’s the name Matthew Lillefielt.

The game was over before he put his quarter in the slot.

49 thoughts on “How I Cracked the Case

  1. seriously, i was going to praise you for the catch and then i saw how thin his disguise was and decided that praising you for catching him would be like praising you for eating with a fork without stabbing yourself in the eye. In other words, ANY IDIOT COULD HAVE DONE THAT, and its not praise-worthy. It would be borderline insulting to praise you for discovering something so easy to learn.

  2. So he makes a crude YouTube video mocking John, Aaron and his wife. Uploads it. And then wonders how people knew it was him???

    Breathtakingly stupid.

    • I’m pretty sure this video was defamation and libel, per Acme Law. I guess it’s OK when Matty Boy does it.

    • Given how sparsely viewed his videos are, he may have a point there. His own crew doesn’t even watch the garbage he puts on You Tube.

  3. true to form on the Cabin Boy double standard…
    his sitting on this blog obsessively arguing (on twitter) with each post and most of the comments to each post = not stalking

    Hoge looking to document something CB has posted previously and realizing it shows his new alias = STALKING!!!1!!!!ELEVENTY!!

    O.o…
    I foresee a nice white jacket that straps in the back in the near future for Twinkie…

    • Which terms of service is his fevered brain imagining for Mr. Hoge to violate? Or does TOS have another meaning that no one ever uses?

      • Evidently, CBBS seems to think reading the TOS is a violation of it.

        When you find yourself in a hole, the best advice is to stop digging. But CBBS just can’t discard that shovel.

        And, by the way, my real name is not “WarEagle82.” I have used a clever alter-ego for my real name which is actually “WarEagleEightyTwo.” I figured nobody would ever be able to break that code.

      • Maybe by “TOS” he means “The Original (or Old) Series” and thinks Hoge did something bad to Star Trek.

    • Gotta love this… Baghdad Blob arguing with himself with regard to just who discovered yet another incidence of him being a lying, disgusting, filthy, creepy waste of a human being. Heh.

  4. I didn’t have any idea he made pornographic animated videos. I hope to never view any of them. What a lowlife.

  5. Really, that’s so lame that even my rudimentary google-fu would have located it. And there are very, very few people out there with weaker google-fu than I.

    • TDPK has run short of people stupid enough to be associated with him. Between Cabin Boy and a child pornographer, you’ve pretty much run through the list of candidates for TDPK minions.

  6. I’m still conflicted about this. I truly believe in my heart of hearts that Fat Willy is a sub literate moron. He’s proven himself time after time on that count, so he deserves the title. But this is beyond even his stupidity. Coming up with a false ID that sounds like your own name? A Youtube avatar that uses your own picture? A Youtube account under your fake name that you use to upload Bill Schmalfeldt videos? Then using that same fake ID to open an account at the Examiner? And finally using another picture for that site that is obviously you?

    I’m not ready to say he is really that stupid.

  7. Cabin Boy gets mad when he’s called a moron. Frankly, it is still a compliment since in terms of formal definition, a moron had more IQ than Cabin Boy has demonstrated.

  8. I love how Moldwarp thinks his stuff can’t be considered pornographic because we’ll see worse stuff on basic cable. Given that he’s probably thinking of HBO, he might have a point EXCEPT, HBO is NOT basic cable, it’s premium. And that we’ll see even nastier stuff on HBO is one of the reasons many of us won’t pay for it.

    • further proof that he views his own definitions of anything as LAW that everyone should follow OR ELSE!!!11!!1

      O.o

    • Yep. Or else he’s saying there is worse stuff on basic cable, which may be true; we dropped cable over a year ago. But just because FCC decency standards don’t exist or aren’t followed anymore doesn’t mean that not being as bad as something that’s on late night basic cable (or for that matter what little I’ve seen of Two and a Half Men) makes stuff not pornography. It just makes it not quite as obscene/disgusting pornography.

    • This being the time when one points out that one is very, very selective about what one watches on basic cable, and therefore, completely unaware of animated porn designed to harass another person.

      Which reminds me. Does anyone actually look up this stuff, except as evidence in a lawsuit? Do you just see it as a “document”, the way you treat Soviet novels, or what?

      • True about the selective. I have tried to avoid anything that smacked of animated porn on TV, whether or not it was designed to harass. But then we also gave up on cable completely last year, paid for a higher speed, higher data limit cable internet plan, and joined Netflix, HuluPlus, and Amazon Prime. All in all much cheaper, and even easier to avoid things of the “can’t unsee” variety.

  9. BTW, in case anyone might misunderstand, the Examiner.com is not a newspaper, it is essentially a glorified blog that you only “apply” to in order to decide what area you will write for. People who get read are paid a pittance and others, well, aren’t. There are no editors, or standards for that matter. FW making sound like some kind of big newspaper gig is just more of his overinflated sense of self worth, among other things.

    • so what you’re saying is he won’t be loosing any “big money” when his “articles” get few if any hits…..
      good to know when he starts accusing the lickspittles of costing him $$$ by the mockery that will continue unabated for the foreseen future…

      • In college I spent a summer working for PC support. We had to clean THREE DORMS WORTH of keyboards. A strong stomach and a bottle of “Simple Green” did it.

        Seriously, it was less filthy cleaning out the wiring closet with the half inch of drywall dust on everything.

  10. He’s got a new “article” up on the Examiner about Breitbart, which then goes on to, at least by common if not legal definition, defame Walker, McCain, Stranahan, and Mr. Hoge as well as bringing up the “366 individual misdemeanor criminal charges which were dropped” in such a way as to try to imply that they were baseless. (“Would Breitbart have stood idly by and allowed Mr. Hoge to waste his time and the state’s money in 366 attempts to jail a disabled reporter?”) An extremely unprofessional piece of writing if there ever was one.

      • I’m sure he feels better now that he’s “outed”. He doesn’t have to hold back anymore can start in on attacking all of BK’s “enemies” (again)and blame us when he gets shit canned (again)….

    • Yes I saw that earlier, and my outrage was overrun by my befuddlement at his ongoing stupidity. He wrote:

      One of these men in particular, WJJ Hoge III of Westminster, Maryland, has filed 366 criminal charges against me in the past year. All have been dismissed as being without merit by the Carroll County, Maryland, State’s Attorney.

      Fat Willy, sub-literate moron, you are as dishonest as you are obese. We’ve all read the mediation order, and we all know it is only by the kindness of Mr. Hoge that those charges were dismissed, FOR NOW.

      John, I know you will smile sagely and merely state “All is going as I have forseen”, but I’d be at the SA’s office Monday morning demanding he be arrested.

      • I love how Mr. Hoge can magically file criminal charges himself, but all us other illiterate peasants who don’t know the law like Moldwarp does, apparently don’t realize (as of course the Moldwarp himself knows) that only the SA can file criminal charges, a civilian can only go to the police and make out a complaint.

        I’d call him a rat’s tuchus hole, except that that would be an insults to all rats and their nether regions.

  11. Its was this style of reporting (personal attack/ personal vendetta focused subject matter) and his making of claims without any satisfactory foundation that got him asked to leave in letters with both firm and exasperated tone.

  12. I love it. Moldwarp must have been getting so spittle flecked ranting about Stranahan, that he tweeted himself, as so helpfully pointed out by wilsb8.

  13. I denounce myself for enjoying the low-brow humor of this situation. I retired last evening in good humor and mostly pain free to a restful night. Thanks Shaky Pudding for being so comical, laughter truly is the best medicine!

      • Nope. That is why “mold-warp” is so apt. I’m sure it originally was “mould-warp”, a Briticism, as the burrowing forest creatures that tunnel through the mould on the forest floor. To tunnel such debris is to ‘warp’ the detritus.

  14. Several commenters keep saying in different ways that BS is stupid. Actually, it is much worse than that. He simultaneously is not unusually stupid, but repeatedly and frequently does unusually stupid things. At some level, he is bright enough to know that he perpetually plays the fool. How pathetic to do so wittingly. Admittedly, he has not wit enough to garner attention by his intellect. Nevertheless, he is so avid for attention that he repeatedly uses what intellect he has to garner attention by acting as if he has no intellect at all.

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