SOUND: Skype rings once.
JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Hi, Johnny.
JOHNNY: Well, hello!
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) Have you checked PACER today?
JOHNNY: No, I haven’t. Which cases are you talking about?
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) The one where The Bomber is suing the whole Universe?
RULE 5 GIRL: (Telephone Filter) You’d better take a look.
MUSIC: Theme up and under.
ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …
JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
JOHNNY: The following is partial extract of the tweets sent and received during my investigation of Short-Fused Dud Matter.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @Rule5Girl Thanks for the tip.
JOHNNY: The Bomber had sued a large crowd of bloggers and media people for defamation. He had sent out Notice of Waiver forms and copies of what appeared to be his Amended Complaint to the 20 or so defendants in his lawsuit that alleged that they were all part of a RICO conspiracy to … well, he had a laundry list of crimes and torts that boiled down to being upset that people were saying true things about him.
He mailed all that stuff out in the middle of October, and he gave the defendants 60 days to respond. Now, it was almost two months later, and only four of the defendants had done anything. That meant The Bomber now had to go about actually serving summonses on the remaining defendants. It also meant that his oppositions to the four motions to dismiss would all be due during the week containing New Year’s Day.
None of the motions to dismiss were pro forma. They would all require serious responses.
SOUND: Phone rings twice, caller’s POV.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Hello.
JOHNNY: Merry Christmas, Aaron! It’s Johnny Atsign.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Merry Christmas, Johnny! What’s up?
JOHNNY: That’s what I called to ask you.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Well nothing much is going on. I haven’t seen any activity from The Bomber in either the state or the federal lawsuits.
JOHNNY: It seems like he’s waiting for the last minute on everything.
AARON: (Telephone Filter) The last couple of weeks have probably been quite busy. He’s got a bunch of oppositions due in federal court, and, not long after that, he has a hearing coming up in the state case.
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AARON TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @JohnnyAtsign The Bomber filed for an extension of time. Call me.
AARON: (Telephone Filter. Fade up) … so what he did was file with the court but not bother to serve any of the defendants.
JOHNNY: Are you gonna let him get away with it?
AARON: (Telephone Filter) Not if I can help it. A couple of us will file oppositions to his motion, but it’s Friday, and his first response is due on Monday. I don’t know if the judge will get to see our objections quickly enough.
JOHNNY: The judge didn’t. He partially granted The Bomber’s motion. He didn’t give him the two months he wanted, but he gave him until mid January to get his stuff in. Aaron and another defendant filed emergency motions pointing out the irregularities with service of court papers and asking the judge to change his mind. The judge let The Bomber keep his extension but gave him something else to do. He ordered The Bomber to submit a report on the status of serving all the defendants.
The new report due date and date for the oppositions bracketed the date for the next hearing in the state lawsuit. The Bomber would have a busy time ahead.
JOHNNY TWEETS: (SYNTH VOICE) @Goodguyunmask What are you doing New Year’s Eve?
MUSIC: Theme up and under
ANNOUNCER: Now, here’s our star to tell you about next week’s intriguing episode of our story.
JOHNNY: Next week? Com’on, Baby. Do the loco motions with me. Join us, won’t you.
Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!
MUSIC: Swell theme and under
ANNOUNCER: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign, starring W. J. J. Hoge, is transcribed in Westminster. Be sure to join us next Monday, same time and URL, for the next exciting episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
MUSIC: Theme up to music out.
ANNOUNCER: Johnny Atsign is a work of fiction. If anyone thinks it’s about him, he should read Proverbs 28:1. This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.