SOUND: MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICHOCHET
MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1
ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!
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ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)
JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.
MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3
THE GROUCH: (THROUGH A SMALL SPEAKER) It’s all (BLEEP). It’s all absolute (BLEEP). And I and my family have been put through pain and suffering because Lee Stranahan has a grudge. Because somebody, in my opinion, is paying Lee Stranahan to file these charges against me, in the hopes that I will either break or die. I got some (BLEEP) news for you, Stranny (PAUSE) Walker, Hoggy, Frey (PAUSE) and Frey (PAUSE) beware the Ides of March.
JOHN: BlogBash is an awards ceremony held by the National Blogger’s Club during the Conservative Political Action Conference each year. It’s the hot ticket party at CPAC. This year, the Ides of March fell during the Conference.
BlogBash was held at a club that was a couple of blocks from the Convention Center, and, a few days before BlogBash, the club received a phone call from one of The Grouch’s associates, a convicted serial Bomber, threatening the event with a demonstration. There were about a dozen or so of us attending the event who were aware of the threat and who were on the lookout for possible troublemakers.
SOUND: CROWED BAR BACKGROUND UP AND UNDER—SUSTAIN IN BACKGROUND
RULE 5 GIRL: John, they’re out there.
RULE 5 GIRL: There’s someone out there stalking people coming and going from the club. He’s got a camera and is taking their pictures.
JOHN: OK, I’ll check it out.
SOUND: CROWDED BAR FADES OUT
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JOHN: Sure enough, there was a sort of stalker. He was a goofy looking guy who we later identified as someone who worked with The Bomber. They had met in prison while The Goofball was doing time on a kiddie-porn charge.
Oh, and we found out later that The Bomber was there too. He was photographed while there.
SOUND: CROWDED BAR BACK UP—SUSTAIN IN BACKGROUND
AARON: Hey, John. Look at this on my phone.
JOHN: What the … Whose account is that?
AARON: Look, it’s the Twitter account The Bomber probably uses. He’s tweeting about BlogBash and describing things as they happen. He’s got to be someplace just outside.
JOHN: Yeah, and he’s swapping tweets with The Grouch.
SOUND: CROWDED BAR FADES OUT
ANNOUNCER: This the usual point in the program when I break in and try to sell you something, but today we want tell you about a new program beginning next Monday here on LBS. Here’s our star to tell you about it.
W. J. J.: (OUT OF CHARACTER) Yep. In addition to Blogsmoke, we’ll be producing a new feature about the Internet Investigator with the action-packed Twitter account: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.
ANNOUNCER: Thanks! And remember folks, Team Lickspittle stuff is available exclusively at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today and show your support for Team Lickspittle.
And now back to our story.
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JOHN: There’s a website … let’s call it Goodguys Unmasked … that publishes attacks on The Bomber’s critics. Sure enough, pictures taken from street outside of BlogBash appeared on that site in short order along with snarky commentary about the event.
One of The Bomber’s weaknesses is his belief that he’s smarter that everyone else. His cleverness often trips him up. In this case, it was the pictures.
You see, pictures taken with digital cameras have data embedded in them in what are called EXIF files. Comparison of the data in the BlogBash pictures posted on Goodguys Unmasked with photos taken by The Bomber while he was stalking someone showed that they had be taken by the same type of camera and downloaded to the same Windows computer. Not a definitive tie in, but certainly suggestive.
And The Bomber and The Goofball weren’t the only people with cameras. There was a lot of pictures taken that evening. There was a lot of surveillance footage from security cameras.
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ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Was The Bomber at BlogBash? It’s possible that the evidence can tell us—as we will see in the next episode of “BLOGSMOKE”!
MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT
ANNOUNCER: The Legal Department wishes the following declaimer read: “‘BLOGSMOKE’ is a work of fiction. Anyone who feels it might be about him should read Proverbs 28:1.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.