Team Kimberlin Post of the Day


*snort* *giggle*

Xenophon (the Troll) makes a lame attempt at ironic humor over at Breitbart Unmasked with a post (No, I won’t link to it) trying to cast me as the Internet Sheriff of Twitter Town. It has a sort of Blogsmoke theme.

Here’s how we would have done it back when I was working in radio—

*****Blogsmoke

SOUND: HORSE MODEM CONNECTING FADES UP TO FULL MIKE—SINGLE SHOT—RICHOCHET

MUSIC: UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 1

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Dodge City Twitter Town and in the territory out west of the net—there’s just one way to handle the killers harassers and the spoilers stalkers—and that’s with a U.S. Marshall an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “GUNSMOKE” “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: THEME HITS: FULL BROAD SWEEP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 2

ANNOUNCER: “GUNSMOKE” “BLOGSMOKE” starring William Conrad W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the violence trolling that moved west with young America into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved with against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

MATT JOHN: I’m that man, Matt Dillon, United States Marshall John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.

MUSIC: MAIN TITLE—RECORDED—CUT 3

SOUND: HOUSEHOLD BACKGROUND NOISE—PHONE RINGS OFF MIKE

WILL: (OFF MIKE) Dad! Telephone.

JOHN: I’ll get it in here.

SOUND: PHONE PICKED UP

JOHN: Hello?

LEE: (FILTERED) John, It’s Lee.

JOHN: Hey, Lee.

LEE: (FILTERED) I’m flying into BWI tomorrow evening to file charges against the Grouch. Can you give me a ride from the airport to the courthouse.

JOHN: Sure. When do you get in?

LEE: (FILTERED) Just after six.

JOHN: That works. BWI is on my way home from work. There’s a great place for crab cakes between the airport and where the District Court Commissioner’s night office is located. We’ll grab dinner on the way. Send me an email with the flight info.

LEE: (FILTERED) Thanks, John.

SOUND: PHONE HANGS UP—HOUSEHOLD BACKGROUND FADES

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 4

SOUND: CAR ROLLING TO A STOP

PARKING GIRL: Three Dollars.

JOHN: Here you go.

PARKING GIRL: Need a receipt?

JOHN: No thanks.

SOUND: CAR ACCELERATES—ROAD NOISE SUSTAINS IN BACKGROUND

JOHN: So how do your wife and kids feel about this?

LEE: They’re tired of it. After a while, it became obvious that he wasn’t going to stop.

JOHN: Yeah.

LEE: I can put up with a lot, but when he suggested that my wife be raped while I was away covering the convention …

JOHN: Uh, huh.

LEE: As if that weren’t enough … going on and on about the child we lost in childbirth … And saying that I was pimping my wife and daughter.

JOHN: Yeah. He’s scum. By the way, you see that trailer park on the right.

LEE: Yes.

JOHN: He’s in Number 71.

SOUND: ROAD NOISE FADES

ANNOUNCER: There’s a nip in the air these days as autumn moves toward winter. One good way to fight the chill is a Team Lickspittle sweatshirt or hoodie. Why not get yours today? Team Lickspittle sweatshirts and hoodies are just some of the trinkets you can waste your hard-earned cash on, stuff exclusively available at The Hogewash Store. Drop by today and show your support for Team Lickspittle.

And now, back to our story.

MUSIC: SCENE BUMPER MUSIC—RECORDED—CUT 5

COMMISSIONER: Raise your right hand. Do you solemnly swear or affirm under penalty of perjury that statements contained herein are true to the best of your knowledge and belief.

LEE: I do.

COMMISSIONER: Sign and date all the pages please.

LEE: OK.

SOUND: PEN SCRATCHING

LEE: There.

COMMISSIONER: Thank you.

SOUND: FORMS BEING SEPARATED—STAPLER

COMMISSIONER: Here are your copies. Have a good evening.

LEE: Thanks. Good night.

JOHN: Well, that’s that. Let’s go.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES—FOOTSTEPS ACROSS PARKING LOT—TWO CAR DOORS OPEN AND CLOSE—CAR STARTS INTERIOR POV

JOHN: You can crash on our couch tonight.

LEE: Thanks, John.

JOHN: No problem. We’ll see how Howard County deals with this.

SOUND: CAR ACCELERATES AND ROAD NOISE FADES

MUSIC: CLOSING TITLE UP AND UNDER—RECORDED—CUT 6

ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) You know, cyberstalkers like the Grouch do real harm. Over the next week, he began to expand his attacks on bloggers—as we will see in the next episode of “BLOGSMOKE”!

MUSIC: SWELL AND CONTINUE TO MUSIC OUT

ANNOUNCER: This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

*****

Amateurs. Pfft.

Stay tuned for Episode 2.

21 thoughts on “Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

  1. Well, that was…disappointing. Your narrative notwithstanding, I think I’ll go read the latest edition of Oedipal Bill.

      • No, I thought your narrative was fine. I thought Xenofreak’s ill-conceived concept as a retaliation, was pathetic. It was born out desperation. Bill is a harassing bully who is finally getting pushback for his cyberstalking. And because of this, they roll out some “Blogsmoke” meme. Hell, it’s not even a meme. You had to develop it for them.

        Like I said…(they’re) disappointing.

  2. Pingback: Team Kimberlin Post of the Day–”BlogSmoke” | Dead Citizen's Rights Society

      • I believe the Cabin Boy has used the phase “squeal like school girls” to describe the way he and his fanboys and socks are reacting to Blogsmoke.

        He’s now trying sell the nonsense that a satirical radio script that mentions a character called “the Grouch” some how has bearing on whether or not he has been violating a court order.

        And the connection is?

    • Oh, looky here. Schmuckfail’s pet Willy came out to play.

      I’m sure he was starving and itchy for truthful information and insightful commentary after slumming around CBBS’s vapid blog du jour and the flea-ridden joke that is “Breitbart Unmasked.”

      Sit, Willy. Sit. Good boy. *pats on head*

  3. What I find amusing is that somehow passing by the trailer park and pointing out that he lives there is now somehow WORSE in his mind than his posting of Lee’s address and pics of his house right after his “good friend” posted a message that Lee was gone and people should go rape his wife. I’m not exactly sure where he buys his logic. Even Acme Legal would not be that stupid. I am truly stunned at the lengths he will go to justify his evil behavior.

    • I find it gob-smacky that events related in a bit of satire (what we like to call “fiction”), are immediatley seized upon as revelation, proof and verification of events in real life.

      I’m guessing its tough for Mary Sue to treat any kind of writing otherwise as his writing usually carries his wish fulfillment fantasies off to the land of the Sweaty Palms.

    • He is a special narcissism snowflake.
      His PD is the worst ever.
      His ex wife is the worst ever.
      He suffered at the death of his father more than any man has ever suffered.
      He suffered at the death of his brother more than any man has ever suffered.
      Getting the picture?
      A satire of two portly older men driving to the courthouse to file a compliant is tantamount to a death threat.
      Based on his behavior, an exorcist might be more effective than a shrink or jail.

  4. Question: What did he think of those hilarious pics posted at BU of the stalker at BlogBash? He thought they were awesome.

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