#BillSchmalfeldt: Master of Fiction

Bill Schmalfeldt has been bragging of late about the books he’s published, both fiction and non-fiction. That got me to thinking that the Gentle Reader might enjoy this bit of fiction from the Cabin Boy—

I do have one request to those of you who comment on this work. Feel free to comment, but reserve your remarks that might lead Schmalfeldt to improve his presentation to the court in the upcoming hearing.

You see, it’s beginning to look as if the Cabin Boy is realizing just how deep the hole he has dug for himself is, and it seems that he keeps throwing out various legal “theories” in an attempt to get someone to ratify one and give him some confidence.

While I take no pleasure in watching Bill Schmalfeldt panicking as he makes a bigger fool of himself, I am looking forward to the 16 Ocotber hearing on his motion to modify the peace order. I see it as an opportunity for Schmalfeldt to make my case for me that something needs to be done to enforce the peace order and to shut his harassment down.

Bill Schmalfeldt wants to take his chances in court again. That’s his right, but if he had a lick of sense, he’d withdraw his motion. Of course, if he had a lick of sense, … oh, never mind.

15 thoughts on “#BillSchmalfeldt: Master of Fiction


  1. Oh Oh Oh.

    Paragraph 10….Because Parkinson’s. Literally he is saying that the Government has to let him do anything he finds therapeutic to his Parkinson’s. I used to have a little sign that would fit this situation perfectly…it was man doubling over laughing with the caption,”He said what??”


    • I know more than one cop who has been called to take a theft report and who found out that what was stolen was some dopehead’s stash.


  2. His best bet is shove the judges face into evidence over and over and over and over until them and there stupid bow ties wake up and smell the coffee substitute. He could probably make a subliminal dsplay of his confidence and dominance by smoking a huge cigar in the court room as well. And by all means, pop all your P’s, T’s and B’s and whatnot. Fling that spit hither and yon. Shows conviction in your speech and reminds all the lickspittles what they should be doing.

    Whoever’s packing the white fluffy, make mine Redenbacher and not Newman.


    • Thank you. I came up with the Cabin Boy rank for him. He was acting like Mr. Smee to Kimberlins Captain Hook….

      Trust me it made sense at the time.

      I’m now wishing I could see this Oct. 16 court date in person…


  3. He says in #1 he writes about ‘extremist hate groups that harass people that expose them.’ And then says you’re one of the people he wrote about. In connection with hate group? According to who, the SPLC? And what group would that be? The guy is not even on this planet in his thinking.


    • I’d like to hear him answer that question. What is the name of the hate group that Mr. Hoge is part of that is anti Muslim? I would suspect an answer along the lines of, “Errrrr…ummmm…welllllll…there really isn’t a group, and I have no proof he hates Muslims your honor, but I don’t need proof because I’m a journalist”.


  4. I don’t see how any of us peons could help that super genius. He’s got a lock on that no notification thing, though. He will just stroll in there and say judge, I never got a notification not to contact this Hoge guy, so this is a kangaroo court. I rest my case.

    With confidence.


  5. If I were Schmalfeldt I’d come into the courtroom is a series of webpages from BrettKimberlin.org. I’d accuse Kimblerlin of acting as a paralegal on my behalf. I’d then plead that I had incompetent counsel. I’d then question the good faith of Brett Kimberlin and strongly suggest that he was trying to indirectly harass one of his critics by increasing the cost and complexity of pursuing the peace order. I’d then disassociate myself from 1) by clearly noting that it never stated John Hoge was a member of an extremist organization, but, apologize to the court for any hint that he was. I would again blame Brett Kimberlin for the exact language, and, suggest it was motivated by Brett Kimberlin’s desire to sully a critic in a forum that was immune from libel laws. I’d note my claims in 10) have no basis in law, and, again, blame Brett Kimberlin for hectoring me into believing that it did. I’d make a token attempt to claim rights as a “journalist,” and walk away when I lost.

    You now, Bill, now is the time to ask yourself it you really want to end up as Monica Lewinski to Brett Kimberlin’s Bill Clinton? You could play dumb and lose what you got, or, you can play it smart and keep that trailer. I’m just trying to help you avoid a shitstorm for some giggling f#ck who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you.

Leave a Reply