#BillSchmalfeldt: Legal Genius

Cabin Boy Bill has been going on and on of late about his belief that one can’t say someone is a criminal unless he has been convicted of a particular crime. Following his reasoning …

Bonnie Parker (of Bonnie and Clyde) wasn’t a criminal.
Al Capone wasn’t a bootlegger.
The Newtown shooter wasn’t a murderer.

No convictions, don’t you see.

4 thoughts on “#BillSchmalfeldt: Legal Genius


  1. And, O.J. didn’t turn his wife into a human Pez dispenser! Of course, O.J. was civilly held responsible for the murder of Ron Goldman.

    John Hoge notes that the Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt has been adjudicated a harasser. At the end of this lawsuit, we may very well see the spectacle of Brett Kimberlin having been adjudicated a pedophile. And, if that happens even the most circumspect of his critics will feel free to label him such. Additionally, Barbara Streisand, Kimberlin’s aunt, and a host of leftist foundations will have certain public relations difficulties in continuing to grant funds to an organization that focuses on “young people” ran by an adjudicated pedophile.


  2. A while back I read of the Cabin Boy claiming that those that claim Brett Kimberlin “IS” a pedophile were in for some “butthurt.” For some reason the Cabin Boy thought it important to capitalize the word “IS.” Surely, I thought to myself, Bill Schmalfeldt isn’t going to question what the meaning of “is” is. I guess I was wrong. Apparently, the Cabin Boy thinks the sentences “Brett Kimberlin IS a pedophile;” and “Brett Kimberlin is a convicted pedophile” have identical meanings. In logic class they taught me that that was an example of the strawman fallacy.


  3. So by this reasoning you can’t say that Bret Kimberlin is a bomber, terrorist, perjurer, drug dealer, criminal and a generally despicable human being.
    Oh, wait. He was convicted so you can.

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