On Beating False Charges


It’s been three days since The Dread Pedo Kimberlin went to a District Court Commissioner and filed complaints against Aaron Walker and me for harassing him. The Maryland Judiciary Case Search database shows that a summons was issued on 30 July, but as I write this, I still haven’t been served. The Sheriff’s Office is usual pretty quick on service, so this is a bit of a puzzlement.

I’m not the least bit worried about Kimberlin’s accusation. I’ve beaten a false criminal charge before. Let me tell you the story.

In August, 1975, I went to work for a loudspeaker manufacturer in Paducah, Kentucky. One week after I joined the company, the union employees went out on strike. As I was crossing the picket line on the first morning of the strike, one of the UAW goons suckerpunched me. I wound up requiring several stitches. (The scar is one of the reasons I wear a beard.)

Much to the joy of the local prosecutors, I filed an assault charge on the thug who hit me. The incident had been filmed, and a couple of cops who saw what had happened arrested the guy. He was well known to the city police, the sheriff’s department, and the state police for getting into bar fights and for domestic abuse, but he had always intimidated his victims into withdrawing charges or refusing to testify. When it became clear that I wouldn’t back down, the City Attorney, the County Attorney, and the Commonwealth Attorney all wanted to try him.

The guy who hit me solved the jurisdiction problem by filing an assault charge against me with the county. The County Attorney wrote up the specification of the charge of assault as “in that Hoge did strike [redacted]’s fist with his lip.”

There wasn’t much chance of my being convicted. When the cases came in court, the judge combined our two trials. The other guy was prosecuted by the County Attorney who refused to handle my prosecution. That was handled by the lawyer the UAW provided for their thug. He was tried by the jury. I was tried by the judge.

When the case went to the jury, my lawyer and I went down the hall to the vending machines to get something to drink. Before I could finish my Coke, the jury was back with it’s verdict. The found the other guy guilty. Of course, the judge found me not guilty.

Through the years, this has been something that I’ve had to explain when filling out forms for security clearances and such. It also came up during voir dire when I was called for jury duty. I thought it would get me bounced from the jury pool, but the judge made me the foreman. Go figure.

I’ll let you know how things go this time.

Stay tuned.

2 thoughts on “On Beating False Charges

  1. Mr. Hutt’s summons was issued on 7/8 and they still haven’t gotten around to serving it.
    The summons that Team K should be worried about was issued 7/29. Hopefully they’ll serve that one first…

  2. Heh. A man that tells the truth never worries about lies. Dread Pedo Brett Kimberlin is shiverin’ his timbers …

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