It was a year ago this week that a certain peace order was extended. This recycled episode is presented in honor of that anniversary. Be sure to tune in next Friday for a special edition of Blognet and on the day after Christmas for a special episode of Blogsmoke.




ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!


ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.


Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Dread Pro-Se Kimberlin included this Certificate of Service with his omnibus opposition to the motions to dismiss his Kimberlin v. The Universe, et al. RICO Madness.OO CoS

Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 11 requires that the person signing a court paper certifies that it is true to best of the person’s knowledge, information, and belief. TDPK certified to the court that he mailed a copy of his filing to me on the 8th.

This is the address label area of the package I received yesterday …OO Mailing Label,,, and this is the postmark.OO PostmarkThe package was mailed on the 9th and not on the 8th. Kimberlin lied to the court.

Of course, there’s no surprise in that.

“It’s all horseshit.”

Given the events of the past few days, I believe that it is appropriate to repost this—

Originally Posted on 10 August, 2013

#BillSchmalfeldt: Delusions of Adequacy

Let’s back up for a minute and reexamine that Cabin Boy quote from 18 February.

It’s all horseshit. It’s all absolute horseshit. And I and my family have been put through pain and suffering because Lee Stranahan has a grudge. Because somebody, in my opinion, is paying Lee Stranahan to file these charges against me, in the hopes that I will either break or die.  I got some fucking news for you, Stranny [pause] Walker, Hoggy, Frey [pause] and Frey [pause] beware the Ides of March.

Somebody paid Lee Stranahan to file charges? Oh, come now. Who would care enough about a loser like Bill Schmalfeldt to want to spend the money?

Bill Schmalfeldt is a failure. Other than people who are dealing with his harassment and a few others who enjoy laughing at his gaffes, almost no one cares about him and the ways he blights the Internet. He’s a functional nonentity with a vanishingly small readership and essentially nonexistent listenership.

He is, at most, a vile insect, and some of us who he has annoyed have taken swats at him, but not one had to pay us. Certainly, the filthiness the Stranahan family endured from the Cabin Boy was sufficient motivation for Lee Stranahan to seek redress, and it’s not surprising that the Walker family sought relief either.

I have been able to bring a bit of justice to Schmalfeldt via a peace order. No one paid me to do so. I brought legal action because I was tired of being harassed. I’ve paid every cent of the my legal expenses out of my own pocket. Sore Loserman Bill has filed a Motion to Modify the peace order. I won’t speak to the merits (if there are any) of his motion while it is before the court, that’s my lawyer’s job, but I will say that it strikes me as foolish attempt to relitigate the case. The judge ruled on the facts and the law and issued the peace order. Schmalfeldt is also appealing the case. It will be interesting to see if the appeals court gets to the case before the peace order expires and makes his appeal moot. Meanwhile, the Cabin Boy continues to misrepresent the terms of the peace order in a lame effort to justify his ongoing violations.

Although some of his associates are troubling, I’m not afraid of Bill Schmalfeldt per se. I’m annoyed by him. I intend to use all lawful means to make sure that he stops bothering me. If that shuts him down so that he can’t bother anyone else, it will be a nice bonus.

No one hopes that Bill Schmalfeldt will “break or die.” He not that important to anyone. His victims just wish the grossly inadequate loser would quit wasting Internet bandwidth and leave decent people alone. As Mr. T says,

I pity the fool.


Sergeant Friday and Officer Smith are still deeply involved in a special investigation, so we present this recycled episode this week.BlognetTitleCard

MUSIC: Theme. Intro and fade under.

NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

MUSIC: Up, then under …

NARRATOR: You’re a Detective Sergeant. You’re assigned to Internet Detail. A group of bloggers have been writing about the activities of a paroled domestic terrorist. He, in turn, has filed criminal charges against the bloggers, accusing them of harassment. Your job … investigate.

MUSIC: Up then under …

ANNOUNCER: Blognet … the documented drama of an actual case. For the next few minutes, in cooperation with the Twitter Town Sheriff’s Department, you will travel step by step on the side of the good guys through an actual case transcribed from official files. From beginning to end. From crime to punishment. Blognet is the story of the good guys in action.

MUSIC: Up and out.

SOUND: Footsteps in foyer.

FRIDAY: It was Monday, August 5th. It was bright and sunny in Montgomery County. We were working an investigation for Internet Detail. My partner’s Liz Smith. The boss is Twitter Town Sheriff, W. J. J. Hoge. My name’s Friday. It was 8:42 am when we got to the District Courthouse in Rockville.

Continue reading

Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) Hey, Johnny, I got your report. Thanks

JOHNNY: You’re welcome. I hope it’s useful.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) Oh, I think so. The hearing is this afternoon.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading

A Bit of Investigative Work …

… led me to take a look at the listings for the Cabin Boy’s™ books and CDs at Amazon. One of his books is called Troll Louse Kookies. As of this afternoon, it has a sales rank somewhere south of 5,000,000, implying (imputing for Team Kimberlin) that there have been essentially no sales for weeks. The About the Author blurb reads as follows:THKaboutNotice the initials at the end. They are not the Cabin Boy’s™. They belong to Eric Johnson. How did they get there? Only the seller has access to the About the Author portion of the page. Only Bill Schmalfeldt could have put those initial there. It appears that he has, in effect, forged Mr. Johnson’s initials.

The Cabin Boy™ has a history of forging documents. I would not be surprised to find that he is trying to pull a similar stunt against Mr. Johnson in order to manufacture evidence to support a false accusation against an “enemy.” Given the Cabin Boy’s™ recent fixation on Mr. Johnson, forgery by Schmalfeldt for the sake of causing trouble is a reasonable hypothesis.

UPDATE—I am informed that The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt™ has tweeted an admission against interest confirming that he is the source of the bogus initials.

Bonus Prevarication Du Jour

CBPR201411300042ZPerhaps Tupperware isn’t allowed, but zip-lock bags are apparently OK packaging for manure sent through the mail.

A simple bit of googling shows plenty of companies offering to sell various kinds of manure with shipping via U. S. Mail. It’s most commonly offered by businesses catering to mushroom growers who only need small quantities for use as fertilizer. BTW, horse manure seems to be preferred for mushrooms.

UPDATE—OK, let’s assume that the Cabin Boy™ files a complaint with the Postal Inspection Service. So what? The only result will be that there’s one more government office where eye roll when they hear the name Schmalfeldt.