Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign

Johnny Atsign Logo 2ANNOUNCER: From Westminster, it’s time for—

SOUND: Skype rings once.

JOHNNY: Johnny Atsign.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) Mr. Atsign, My name’s Grayson, Pete Grayson. I’m look for someone to investigate an Internet-related problem.

JOHNNY: That’s what I do for a living. What’s your problem?

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) Online harassment. There’s this guy who’s convinced that I’m someone else, and he’s taking a grudge out on me.

JOHNNY: Sounds like something I’ve seen before.

GRAYSON: (Telephone Filter) Oh, you certainly have, Mr. Atsign. It’s The Grouch who is harassing me.

MUSIC: Theme up and under.

ANNOUNCER: The Lickspittle Broadcasting System presents W. J. J. Hoge in the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed Twitter account, America’s fabulous free-lance Internet investigator …

JOHNNY: Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign!

MUSIC: Theme up to music out. Continue reading




ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Around Twitter Town and in the territory of the net—there’s just one way to handle the harassers and the stalkers—and that’s with an Internet Sheriff and the smell of “BLOGSMOKE”!


ANNOUNCER: “BLOGSMOKE” starring W. J. J. Hoge. The story of the trolling that moved into the young Internet—and the story of a man who moved against it. (MUSIC: OUT)

JOHN: I’m that man, John Hoge, Internet Sheriff—the first man they look for and the last they want to meet. It’s a chancy job—and it makes a man watchful … and a little lonely.


JOHN: Hi, this is W. J. J. Hoge stepping out of character to offer my thanks and the thanks of Patrick Grady for everyone’s help in dealing with one particular harasser and cyberstalker. The donations from members of Team Lickspittle and others helped Mr. Grady pay for his travel and other expenses associated with the recent vexatious peace order filed agains him. Unfortunately, Patrick Grady is not the only blogger being victimize by lawfare. Others are being vexatiously sued too. You can help them also. Here’s our Announcer to explain how.

ANNOUNCER: One way to help is to donate funds to help pay bloggers’ legal expenses. There are other was too. If you’re a lawyer, you can provide pro bono counsel to a blogger being sued. Whether you’re a lawyer or not, you can help in other ways such as case research or transcription services. To learn more, go to Bomber Sues Bloggers.


ANNOUNCER: (VOICE OVER MUSIC) Who knows what drivel lurks in the hearts of men? Perhaps we will find out in a future episode of “BLOGSMOKE”!


ANNOUNCER: Be sure to tune in on Monday at 6 pm Eastern Time for the next intriguing episode of “Yours Truly, Johnny Atsign.” This is LBS, the Lickspittle Broadcasting System.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Last night, I was running iTunes in random mode when The Sorcerer’s Apprentice by Paul Dukas came up. The first time I can remember hearing that piece was when I saw the movie Fantasia at the Tennessee theater in downtown Nashville back in the ’50s. The work is a symphonic poem that tells the story of Goethe’s poem Der Zauberlehrling. You probably know the story: Rather than do his chores the old fashioned way, a young apprentice tries to use magic. He loses control of his enchanted broom but is saved in the end when his master returns and sets things right. Mickey Mouse plays the apprentice in the Disney version.

But back to my story …

I didn’t initially realize what was playing in the background because I was concentrating on writing today’s Team Kimberlin Post of the Day. When I did notice the music, it struck me as somewhat related to what I was writing. The post was about Bill Schmalfeldt’s bumbling attempts at lawfare. He’s tried to use lawfare as an easy pushback against the various attempts to hold him accountable for his online harassment and cyberthuggery. Yet, each time he tries something, the legal waves break higher and higher against him.

One wonders—will his master save him?

Probably not.

His master has been no more successful in the long run with his lawfare. Team Kimberlin’s performance, by master or apprentice, can’t even be described as “mickey mouse.”

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt is lying.CBPR201411121734Z

There is no question that TDPS has posted pictures that meet the definition of pornography under the Miller v. California (413 U.S. 15) standard.

He posted a picture of two men engaging in anal sex with my face photoshopped onto the body of the the one being penetrated. The picture was originally posted at The page disappeared when the copyright holder of the video from which my face had been lifted asked that the picture be removed.

Schmalfeldt posted another picture into which my face had been photoshopped. It showed my face surrounded by naked men with erect penises. Again, the link is dead—this time because the web host took the site down for violation of its policy against porn. The original URL was This is the picture which may use a photo of me taken while I was underage.

Even if I could, I wouldn’t post either of those pictures here, but I can’t. Judge Stansfield placed them under seal during the peace order extension hearing last year. However, the pictures are part of the record of the hearing as is Schmalfeldt’s admission of having made and posted them. That record can be used as evidence in any further proceeding.

The Cabin Boy™ is correct in saying that I want no part of anything that is about to happen about, to, or because of him. If he thinks things through with the least bit of clarity, he should realize that he doesn’t want me involved either.

On the Use of Underage Images

Last year, Bill Schmalfeldt photoshopped my face into a couple of pornographic homoerotic images which he published on the Internet. Those images and their publication formed part of the basis for the extension of the peace order against him that was issued last December.

One of the images of my face was lifted from a college year book picture. While the yearbook was published for my sophomore year, the picture may be a file photo that was actually been taken in autumn of 1965 during my freshman year. I turned 18 on 31 December, 1965.

Thus, it is possible that one of the pornographic images Schmalfeldt published contains a juvenile image of me.

Team Kimberlin Post of the Day

The Dreadful Pro-Se Schmalfeldt’s next opportunity to embarrass himself in court is coming on Friday. He’s filed for a peace order petition against Patrick Grady. As I pointed out in an earlier post, there doesn’t seem to be any actual legal basis for his petition.

It looks as if Schmalfeldt’s behavior toward Mr. Grady has violated Md. Crim. Law § 3-803, the general harassment statute. I have seen an incomplete list of harassing contacts alleged to have occurred after Mr. Grady asked TDPS to knock it off. There were 23 separate items, 15 of which occurred after the Cabin Boy™ had been served with the paperwork for the Illinois no contact petition. It may be that the person entitled to a Maryland peace order is Mr. Grady.

popcorn4bkIt would be a shame for him to come all the way to Maryland and not take a few minutes to fill out the paperwork and spend a few more in an ex parte hearing with a judge. Perhaps TDPS’s attempt at pushback will cause him more trouble that it’s worth.

Stay tuned.