I’m Gonna Need a New Bogometer

Gentle Readers, I check out websites such as Breitbart Unmasked (No, I won’t link to it.) so that you don’t have to. A few days ago, that site came alive again with Cabin Boy Bill Schmalfeldt writing the posts. While checking it out today, my bogometer overheated.

Ah, I notice a puzzled expression on some faces. What is this thing called a bogometer?

The elementary particle of bogosity is the bogon. A bogometer measures the bogon flux emitted from a statement. The unit of measure of bogosity is the gore (Go). Most propositions have some bit of truth behind them, so the unit commonly used is the milligore (mGo). A completely false statement (such as 2+2=3) will have a net bogon flux of +1 Go or +1,000 mGo. A completely true statement (such as 2+2=4) will have a net bogon flux of -1 Go or -1,000 mGo.

While reading CBBS’s material, my bogometer spent all the time in the red zone, mostly pegged at +1 Go and rarely falling below 900 mGo. It’s burnt out, and my browser’s BS filter will take several hours to finish draining.

I should have known this would happen. After all, it seems that Bill Schmalfeldt is a liar.

4 thoughts on “I’m Gonna Need a New Bogometer”

• Actually, that’s an important question. A properly calibrated bogometer would register zero on a totally meaningless statement that was not told to deceive.